bullying at workplace.

Godsentme · 26-11-2010 7:17am #1

A friend of mine is being bullied at work. Nothing much you might think. One guy started it by calling his name when he had passed. He looked eround to ask who had called his name. No one admitted to it. By now its become a constant thing. Other cowards doing the same thing. Now he dreads passing by a group. And he dreads going to work that he used to love going into. These people are cowards. He recons its just two or three people.

What can he do?? Where does the law stand on this?

chicken fingers · 26-11-2010 7:48am

They´re not exactly "cowards", they are just simpletons.

I think you should just ignore them.

bbam · 26-11-2010 12:23pm

Godsentme wrote: »

What can he do?? Where does the law stand on this?

If this person feels as though they're being bullied/harrassed then by law they are being, it's how they feel that matters not the intent of the bully..

The bigger problem is however 1, proving the issue 2, getting a manager to follow up on it...

Managment have a legal responsibility to provide a workplace free from bullying and harrassment.. The same as they must avoid any other H&S issues.

There are three options...

1 - Stand up to the cowards, tell them enough is enough and the "crack" is over, any more and a complaint will be made.
2- Ignore it and develop a thicker skin (I don't recommend this)
3- Go preferably to the direct manager, or to another manager who is likely to listen, either ask them to have a word with those involved or make a formal complaint..

This is rubbish and as a manager I absolutely hammer down on this kind of stuff, it's unbelivable how much an affect this has on some people..

Shelflife · 26-11-2010 2:41pm

Its hardly bullying, its childish behaviour and best ignored, laugh it off as best you can, smile and shake your head when it happens, they will soon get bored.

bbam · 26-11-2010 6:36pm

Shelflife wrote: »

Its hardly bullying, its childish behaviour and best ignored, laugh it off as best you can, smile and shake your head when it happens, they will soon get bored.

I'm sorry but that's not a great attitude... while most can "shake it off" there are many who get these problems in on themselves and it seems as bad as if someone was having a slap at them...
If you feel you are being bullied/harrassed then you have a right to have it addressed if you so wish...

Employers have responsibilities.... ensure they live up to them

Shelflife · 26-11-2010 7:03pm

bbam wrote: »

I'm sorry but that's not a great attitude... while most can "shake it off" there are many who get these problems in on themselves and it seems as bad as if someone was having a slap at them...
If you feel you are being bullied/harrassed then you have a right to have it addressed if you so wish...

Employers have responsibilities.... ensure they live up to them

I agree that the employer has responsibilities , but it not the employers job to sort out every single joke/incident that occurs in the workplace either.

the other employees are being big kids and will soon tire of their game if the op just ignores it.

if you go running to the boss everytime the others pull a fast one on you,

1. you will piss of the rest of your workmates
2. you will piss off your boss and show him that you cant handle a bit of messing.

yes its a pain what they are doing op, but by showing that it gets to you, it only encourages them to do it more.

if he complains ,how does he prove that its actually happening?

Spacedog · 27-11-2010 9:59pm

Next time they do that, stop turn and stare at one of them with a serious fixed gase (choose the cheekyest, giggliest one), do it for a little longer than is comfortable for them, until the smile falls from their face or they look away, then walk away.

This leaves them with a weird feeling, and is empowering but not violent, it's how older, experienced teachers stop kids messing in a classroom.

A coward can't stand prolonged eye contact.

blade912 · 27-11-2010 10:34pm

I am always surprised how little most people known about the rights of employee's in a work place.

Get your friend to email the manager about the issue detailing exactly what is happening, if you friend is suffering stress then a doctors visit might help, you could also attach a copy of the doctors note in the email to the manager, make sure your friend keeps a copy of it. If the harassment doesn't stop and if your friend is forced to leave the company due to stress. He could bring the company to court about it , then it will be up to the company to prove in court that no harassment has had occurred, your friend will not have to say anything just produce a copy of the email.

doolox · 01-12-2010 1:58pm

Very little is done to teach people their rights. I was the victim of bullying and could find no resolution to it and it was one of the reasons I left.

People in general have no time for slow learners and do not want to help people new to a particular job or skill.

Increasingly people at work are on their own when it comes to training and development and also the social element of work is not as deep or as good as it used to be.

tricky D · 01-12-2010 6:34pm

Shelflife wrote: »

Its hardly bullying, its childish behaviour and best ignored, laugh it off as best you can, smile and shake your head when it happens, they will soon get bored.

It's targetted, systematic, now constant and causing significant unease for the person and affecting them adversely - that's bullying. They might think of it as a joke, but it matters much more how the target feels.

Keep a diary of all events.

Mikadococo · 01-12-2010 6:59pm

I would definately keep a diary of all events. having being victim to bullying previously, when it goes to a formal complaint procedure (which i did) a diary is vital and they cannot argue those incidents.

if your friend feels harrassed thats ground in itself to take the situation further. Shaking it off is not an option at this stage, otherwise they would have done this already.

my advice would be to contact a manager immediately. (your friend that is...) and proceed from there.

these psycological mind games that are being played are having a clear effect on your colleague and they have to remedy the situation before things evolve to further forms of harrasment.

bigted2 · 13-01-2011 3:59am

the thing to remember about about a bully is that they can not handle the fact that you can do your job better than they can.also i bet they do sod all when the boss is away. any away i know all of this because iwas bullied
at work a long time a go.
ps dont walk because they will won

judas101 · 13-01-2011 11:19am

Stop reacting and they'll lost interest.

Bandana boy · 15-01-2011 9:21pm

Report the issue to your manager or HR

Companies have a responsibility to stop bullying and harassing behavior but they will not be held liable for anything unless they were informed and given a chance to address the issue.

Pineapple stu · 16-01-2011 3:37am

It is bullying and if it carries on will just lead to more stress to the person affected and also affect his or her's work which the managment wont be too pleased about.
If it is constant bullying then report it to the person in charge verbally and then in writing to the next person up the line until the matter is resolved. Tread carefully though as depending on the workplace their answer might be to shift the victim somewhere else instead of dealing directly with the bullies. If you still get no satisfaction then take it to a solicitor or the labour court or rights commisioners.

The best thing to do if possible is to just ignore it because if the bullies see that their childish behaviour is having an effect on the victim then it will carry on. If they get no reaction then they wont do it again , so just blank them. Failling that a good kick in the crown jewels usually does the trick.

Naikon · 16-01-2011 6:47am

Man up. I am gobsmacked someone would actually file official complaints over something like this. I don't condone bullying, but I also don't condone shifting the blame/confrontation onto other parties for petty issues. Seriously, tell your friend to just grow a pair.

"Stress" can't be caused by **** like this if you develop thick skin/aren't weak. Learn to deal with this yourself, like an adult. Passing the buck won't do any good.

Naikon · 16-01-2011 6:53am

tricky D wrote: »

It's targetted, systematic, now constant and causing significant unease for the person and affecting them adversely - that's bullying. They might think of it as a joke, but it matters much more how the target feels.

Keep a diary of all events.

You're gonna need more than a potentially fabricated "diary of events" to convince a panel. Not to mention the threat of litigation by the offending parties.
The only reason the OP is being "targetted" is because he/she is allowing it to cause distress. Just ****ing ignore them already. This is a petty matter imo.

Bandana boy · 16-01-2011 11:36am

Naikon wrote: »

Man up. I am gobsmacked someone would actually file official complaints over something like this. I don't condone bullying, but I also don't condone shifting the blame/confrontation onto other parties for petty issues. Seriously, tell your friend to just grow a pair.

"Stress" can't be caused by **** like this if you develop thick skin/aren't weak. Learn to deal with this yourself, like an adult. Passing the buck won't do any good.

What can or cannot cause another person stress will not always match what causes you stress.
In this case unprofessional behavior by a colleague is causing stress for the op the company has a legal obligation to address this ,but more they have a moral obligation.
"Man up" or "grow a pair" comments shows you are very unaware of the impact bullying can have on people and as such maybe you should refrain from posting on the topic.

Naikon · 16-01-2011 4:50pm

Bandana boy wrote: »

What can or cannot cause another person stress will not always match what causes you stress.
In this case unprofessional behavior by a colleague is causing stress for the op the company has a legal obligation to address this ,but more they have a moral obligation.
"Man up" or "grow a pair" comments shows you are very unaware of the impact bullying can have on people and as such maybe you should refrain from posting on the topic.

Ok, I am aware people handle stress in different ways, but this really isn't this big a deal! If the guys had made sexual comments/real threats towards the OP - fair game. Namecalling should not phase even the most thin skinnned people. It's a waste of precious company resources, time, and most importantly, perspective to allow something as silly as this to progress before a panel of enquiry. Chances are if the OP complains, his/her reputation will take a beating not just with the bully, but with some important people the company. News travels VERY fast in a corporate enviroment. What good will an official complaint do? Situations like this should always be handled orally, not through paperwork. Again, what is to stop the offending parties from threatening litigation?

OP - If you want to potentially dent your reputation, go ahead and make a mountain out of a molehill. Otherwise, defuse the situation efficiently on your own terms. Why do certain people think that shifting responsibility is good? No wonder this nation cannot govern itself efficiently.

There is a simple algorithm you should follow in cases like the OP's:

1: Potential threat to my name, property or friends/family/relations? 

Yes-> Official procedures.
No-> Keep on rolling. You're an Adult after all.

bbam · 16-01-2011 10:19pm

Naikon wrote: »
Ok, I am aware people handle stress in different ways, but this really isn't this big a deal! If the guys had made sexual comments/real threats towards the OP - fair game. Namecalling should not phase even the most thin skinnned people. It's a waste of precious company resources, time, and most importantly, perspective to allow something as silly as this to progress before a panel of enquiry. Chances are if the OP complains, his/her reputation will take a beating not just with the bully, but with some important people the company. News travels VERY fast in a corporate enviroment. What good will an official complaint do? Situations like this should always be handled orally, not through paperwork. Again, what is to stop the offending parties from threatening litigation?

OP - If you want to potentially dent your reputation, go ahead and make a mountain out of a molehill. Otherwise, defuse the situation efficiently on your own terms. Why do certain people think that shifting responsibility is good? No wonder this nation cannot govern itself efficiently.

There is a simple algorithm you should follow in cases like the OP's:
1: Potential threat to my name, property or friends/family/relations? 

Yes-> Official procedures.
No-> Keep on rolling. You're an Adult after all.

Legislation is in place to protect those who cannot/ feel they cannot deal with such situations themselves...

It is great for those who can deal with such situations themselves, but for those who cannot they deserve and are entitled to have the situation put right through whatever channels are available...

Naikon · 17-01-2011 11:18pm

bbam wrote: »

Legislation is in place to protect those who cannot/ feel they cannot deal with such situations themselves...

It is great for those who can deal with such situations themselves, but for those who cannot they deserve and are entitled to have the situation put right through whatever channels are available...

And this is a contributing factor as to why society is so messed up. We don't need more paperwork, it's less.

krd · 19-01-2011 7:38am

Naikon wrote: »

Ok, I am aware people handle stress in different ways, but this really isn't this big a deal! If the guys had made sexual comments/real threats towards the OP - fair game. Namecalling should not phase even the most thin skinnned people. It's a waste of precious company resources, time, and most importantly, perspective to allow something as silly as this to progress before a panel of enquiry. Chances are if the OP complains, his/her reputation will take a beating not just with the bully, but with some important people the company. News travels VERY fast in a corporate enviroment. What good will an official complaint do? Situations like this should always be handled orally, not through paperwork. Again, what is to stop the offending parties from threatening litigation?

OP - If you want to potentially dent your reputation, go ahead and make a mountain out of a molehill. Otherwise, defuse the situation efficiently on your own terms. Why do certain people think that shifting responsibility is good? No wonder this nation cannot govern itself efficiently.

There is a simple algorithm you should follow in cases like the OP's:

I'm really very suspicious of anyone who tells people just to brush off the bullying.

There's usually nothing about harmless about it. A campaign of bullying in the workplace is usually a technique used by people to rubbish someone's name to either drive them out of the company or damage their chances of promotion.

I'm suspicious of anyone warning someone not to report bullying.

I would say report it. I'm sure there's plenty more going on behind the targets back. Rumours - or the "Aw sure he's cracked in the head...let's have some fun".

The workplace isn't a playground for scummy people who won't grow up. Anyone mentally defective enough to play name calling games in a workplace should just get sacked.

And bullying is often the prelude for setting someone up for the sack.

Naikon

how have gotten ahead in "the corporate world". A little bit or sneakiness, a little bit of bullying, and maybe a lot of arse licking.

A former colleague of mine (an asshole) was fired before Christmas, on foot of a bullying complaint. A manager no less. And from what I've heard his employers were very happy to get rid of him once they had the full story.

bullying at workplace.

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