sister organising stag

shinshine · 21-10-2014 1:35pm #1

Hi
Looking for some serious advice here. My twin brother has asked me (his sister) to be his best "man" for his wedding in July and I'm completely stumped as to what I can do. Obviously I've never been on a stag night, there's no interest in doing a hag (stag and hen night combined) so any advice, tips etc would be greatly appreciated.
Money is an issue cos he's got a little boy and money is very tight for them at the moment, he did ask me one thing he doesn't want a stripper, strip club kind of night. All he wants is a fun night with friends and family that he can remember, I might not be even going cos some of his male friends are a bit pissed off that a girl is going in the first place and will assume that I'll ruin all the fun.
Please help

Milly33 · 21-10-2014 1:46pm

Jes sounds like a tough one, especially with the not going part aswell as you should nominate someone in your absence to guide the lads as to what they are doing.. Pick the most dependable one of the bunch..

I am a girl too but have seen a far few stags and I think really the thing it comes down to is whos there and what the plan is.. What does you brother like doing, is he an outdoors person or mad for speed or just kinda like a chilled out will go with however the boat floats. Does he want to travel somewhere abroad or keep it local enough.

Most stags go from pursuit days out which there are loads of places doing it. West Cork Secret Spot, there is one up around the north aswell I cant think of the name but I can search if you like. Paintballing days out, racing days theres loads.

From talking to male friends normally the best ones are ones that you have something planned for during the day like and adventure day and then in the evening tis either hit a local restaurant that's not too la de dah who will be a bit of craic and then either back for a huge houseparty..The worst ones have been where you go away someplace and just go on a pub crawl as a lot feel like you can do that anywhere..

You could rent a house for the weekend, and just let all the lads bunk down there, arrange for someone to come in a do a bbq or something...

A lot of rental houses have things like full bbq areas or pizza ovens out the back so you can chill..

folan · 21-10-2014 1:49pm

if you are hanging around locally, is there a bowling alley that allows byob for late night drinks? book it out, organise good music, have some good drinking games arranged, order in some pizzas and then let all head to pubs/clubs.

Can also work for go karting (except the pre drinking).

And screw his friends who dont want a girl there. he asked you, not them. Shows he respects you more than them.

Cathmandooo · 21-10-2014 1:54pm

Are you limited on where or are you willing to travel around the country?

Plenty of options for activities around the country
Paintballing (although probably over done at this stage)
Go karting
Surfing
zip wiring
kayaking
Clay pigeon shooting
archery

http://www.xtreme.ie/
http://www.stagparty.ie/index.php
http://www.bodaborg.com/
http://www.xit.ie/

Dinner and the pub after.

I do think you should go though, he asked you to be best man. It's his stag not his friends.

Buona Fortuna · 21-10-2014 1:57pm

So as his best "man" presumably you will be attending the stag?

I'm assuming that this will be some days before the wedding?

I'd ask all his friends what they think, what have others done in the past, and what do they like doing when they're not heavy drinking in strip clubs - and then discount any you don't like the sound of.

I think any of these would be fun/memorable : Driving, adventure, clay pigs, paintball, followed by a meal as Milly said.

All the best

shinshine · 21-10-2014 2:30pm

Lads thanks so much didn't expect such a helpful response so quickly. I think I'll just send a circular with suggestions. Cork sounds great

shinshine · 21-10-2014 2:34pm

Lads thanks so much didn't expect such a helpful response so quickly. I think I'll just send a circular with suggestions. Cork sounds great.
He's not really an outdoors type, more of a drinks and chats kinda guy.
I'm in a pickle cos if the night is ****e I'll get blamed, there's always guys who want a stripper and if there isn't one I'll get blamed (despite the fact that the groom has no interest in that at all), if it's too expensive I'll get blamed and if it's in Dublin I'll get blamed and if it's too far way I'll get blamed.

Cathmandooo · 21-10-2014 2:40pm

Sounds like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't

Are there grooms men for the wedding? Do you get on well with any of his close friends? Try to have a chat with some of them if possible, stag partys are a great chance to do something you wouldn't normally do so I wouldn't worry too much if your brother isn't the outdoorsie type usually. You want something memorable and away from your normal weekend.

Don't expect a group to agree on everything, it'll never happen so I'd pick a select few to bounce ideas off.

eviltwin · 21-10-2014 2:44pm

I'd rope in a deputy to help you with the organisation, if these guys aren't in your social circle it can be hard to know what everyone's likes and dislikes are so a second person who knows them will be a great asset. They can also act as a go between if you feel some of the guys won't be respectful of you. It also helps to have someone else they might actually listen to, they need to be reminded its not their night and while they can want xy and z they have to remember your brother is the star of the show.

Milly33 · 21-10-2014 2:58pm

Yep getting someone else on your side is a great idea... Are lads still doing strippers haha well you could just call to a strip club save the Hassle of getting one to call, they might move on quicker aswell.. I went into one before in town so they have no qualms on women going in or anything..

If he was more of a chat and few drinks kind of a guy places in Cork that might be good would be Soho in town you can rent out your own level and have a bbq up there with whatever drinks you like or just book a long table off to the side for steak (it is nice there).

The Clarion also you can rent the top penthouse, which would be nice but maybe a little faffie for a group just out to have a laugh..

Toto Wolfcastle · 21-10-2014 3:37pm

Don't try to please everyone. The only person you have to keep in mind is the groom. Do whatever he wants to do. If he just wants a fun night with his friends then organise dinner and the pub or maybe somewhere where you can have a few drinks and platters while doing an activity. My husband wanted a night out with his friends so they had dinner and went to the pub. He had a great time.

If you give the people going on the stag options to choose from you'll end up more confused. Just organise something and tell people where and when. If your brother has a friend who you know would have his best interests at heart then maybe ask him for ideas.

sister organising stag

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