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Is my boyfriend mean? Or am I being unreasonable?

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    #62
    wdmfapq4zs83hv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 563 ✭✭✭wdmfapq4zs83hv


    OP your boyfriend is a scabby git! I couldn't be with someone like that. You need to get it sorted now if you want a future together. A couple I know have been together 10 years plus & its pathetic to watch them, "its your round" - "you owe me €5" etc. They literally are both so mean. They would never dream of even buying eachother a drink without wanting one back. You don't want to end up like that!


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    #63
    m'lady
    Registered Users Posts: 1,859 ✭✭✭m'lady


    I think the Birthday present situation comes secondary in the grand scheme of things, although I do think it was stingy that the boyfriend returned the OPS gift in exchange for a present for both her and his mother!

    I really think you need to sit him down and discuss this OP as it will really start to grate and your nerves, I think situations like this actually turn generous, thoughtful people into stingy and mean ones, and you don't want to become like that at all.

    I agree that you are being a bit over generous, but I think you've realised that yourself.

    Personally in regards to the car insurance I see no reason why you should be paying half, you said you rarely drive the car (that he got from a family member of yours?) but do have open drive so you can use family members, I'd have thought he should be contributing the most if not all the insurance. Who pays the tax and maintenance on it?


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    #64
    iusedtoknow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,698 ✭✭✭iusedtoknow


    The two of you have different expectations when it comes to money, money that it sounds like you could do other things with. While it sucks living the student lifestyle as mature students, you have to suck it up. You need to get him to pay 50% of the insurance and you also need to stop spending that sort of money on gifts. Set a limit that both of you are comfortable with and stick to it. You're both on relatively fixed amounts of money a week/month so live that way.


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    #65
    runswithascript
    Registered Users Posts: 2,789 ✭✭✭runswithascript


    moneymoneymoney666 wrote: »
    dusf, I addressed you myself earlier aswell I think you may have missed it through all your nit picking.

    I was not nitpicking, nobody should expect any extra to be covered by one person in the relationship, or to be wined and dined to the expense of one person whether that is your boyfriend or anyone posting hypocritical advice on this thread.

    <mod note: youtube videos are not allowed in these forums>


    There are names for people who receive financial gain for being in a relationship and those names are
    gold digger
    and
    whore
    .
    moneymoneymoney666 wrote: »
    Anyway, as I said earlier my boyfriend is most certainly not a scumbag, your response was actually a serious exaggeration and he is definitely not a thief.

    There is no exaggeration, your description of your boyfriend's cheapskate manipulative attitude is that of a scumbag. Surely you would see that if he was someone else's boyfriend.

    Also, this:
    tinkerbell wrote: »
    OP, your boyfriend is a stingy git.

    And this:
    Zaria Harsh Lifeguard wrote: »
    OP your boyfriend is a scabby git!

    You have received plenty of advice about this now, have you spoken to him yet, and are you going to tell him about the thread?


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    #66
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    How is dusf getting away with calling people scumbags hypocrites money grabbers and whores? Seriously mods, he's at this since yesterday. Surely the ethos here is attack the post not the poster.


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    #67
    runswithascript
    Registered Users Posts: 2,789 ✭✭✭runswithascript


    anna080 wrote: »
    How is dusf getting away with calling people scumbags hypocrites money grabbers and whores? Seriously mods, he's at this since yesterday. Surely the ethos here is attack the post not the poster.

    I am not attacking the poster, I am giving my opinion on the original poster's boyfriend, can you not read.

    Scumbag, hypocrite, money grabber, and whore are not words banned on this forum, if they were they would be starred (****) out in posts.

    Also, the mods have already warned you about digging at other posters, it is not in the spirit of boards.ie so please refrain from doing so and stay on topic.


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    #68
    Tiddlypeeps
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,103 ✭✭✭Tiddlypeeps


    dusf wrote: »
    I was not nitpicking, nobody should expect any extra to be covered by one person in the relationship, or to be wined and dined to the expense of one person whether that is your boyfriend or anyone posting hypocritical advice on this thread.

    There is a word for someone who receives payment for being in a relationship and that word is whore.



    There is no exaggeration, your description of your boyfriend's cheapskate manipulative attitude is that of a scumbag. Surely you would see that if he was someone else's boyfriend.

    Also, this:



    And this:



    You have received plenty of advice about this now, have you spoken to him yet, and are you going to tell him about the thread?

    Your assessment of the situation is waaaay over the top. Suggesting her boyfriend would steal from her given the chance is wild speculation based on nothing.

    Calling her boyfriend a whore and a scumbag is both unnecessary and very unlikely to make anybody listen to your advice.

    Getting hostile when your advice is ignored is also unlikely to make anybody listen to you.

    It's clear you have been hurt by somebody before but you would do well not to project that on to other peoples relationships as no two are the same.


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    #69
    runswithascript
    Registered Users Posts: 2,789 ✭✭✭runswithascript


    Tiddlypeeps wrote: »
    Your assessment of the situation is waaaay over the top. Suggesting her boyfriend would steal from her given the chance is wild speculation based on nothing.

    I asked if she would be comfortable sharing an account with him. Anyone in the right frame of mind can see he is a bad candidate for sharing financial responsibility.
    Tiddlypeeps wrote: »
    Calling her boyfriend a whore and a scumbag is both unnecessary and very unlikely to make anybody listen to your advice.

    I called her boyfriend a scumbag because that is how he is being portrayed, it vexes me there are people who think he is some upstanding partner - he is clearly not.

    Tiddlypeeps wrote: »
    Getting hostile when your advice is ignored is also unlikely to make anybody listen to you.

    If you perceive my comments as hostile you are reading them wrong, I am merely giving my honest opinion.
    Tiddlypeeps wrote: »
    It's clear you have been hurt by somebody before but you would do well not to project that on to other peoples relationships as no two are the same.

    You could do with less projection yourself. That is as clear as mud, maybe watch less Dr. Phil.


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    #70
    Tokyo
    Politics Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    dusf - yellow card for ignoring three mod instructions thus far. Don't post in this thread again and read the forum charter before posting anywhere else in PI/RI.

    [edit]and now a red card, as you clearly PM'd me arguing your yellow card before entering into another tit-for-tat.

    anna080, as a regular poster here you know full well where the report post button is, and that that backseat moderation is against forum charter. Considering the umpteen requests from mods to keep it on topic, yellow for you too.

    any more bickering like this, red cards and bans will be the next step.

    Regards,
    Mike


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