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Finding other femme women in Dublin

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24

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    #32
    Lauren3142
    Registered Users Posts: 77 ✭✭Lauren3142


    Meet up sounds great , i hope im not going to be the youngest there or ill die!


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    #33
    lady111
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭lady111


    Hi guys,

    Interested to see your post ! I'm in the same predicament. I'm very femme and like the same but am gay !! Meet up would be great..


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    #34
    lady111
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭lady111


    Guys, I propose we agree some get together, everyone seems to be thinking along the same lines.. I will defo be in the front lounge Friday (1st) and will keep my eyes open for other " straight looking woman " !!


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    #35
    rere
    Registered Users Posts: 107 ✭✭rere


    I think a front lounge get together sounds good.


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    #36
    lady111
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭lady111


    Well nothing ventured nothing gained and would be nice to get to know others so we should agree something..


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    #37
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    lady111 wrote: »
    Guys, I propose we agree some get together, everyone seems to be thinking along the same lines.. I will defo be in the front lounge Friday (1st) and will keep my eyes open for other " straight looking woman " !!

    I'm on hols at the moment. Just back from Amsterdam actually so not going to be around this Friday but the following one I could do fo sho or the rest of August is okay! FLounge is a good idea as a start off point- not as mental as the George as the Dragon!

    Not to be nosy but wondering what age everyone is? Actually I am being nosy but shur it's good to have an idea. I'm 25 FYI!


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    #38
    Emz93
    Closed Accounts Posts: 90 ✭✭Emz93


    We could organize a meet up on the night of the next Crush and maybe all meet in Frontlounge before? Just a suggestion :)


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    #39
    Blogatron52
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭Blogatron52


    Yeah I think it's a good idea! I've never been there (or to any gay bars!) I'm not available on the 1st though! Let me know how ye get on if it happens!

    Just curious if people have ever thought... What if I go to one of these meet ups and actually recognise other people...?! :')


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    #40
    rere
    Registered Users Posts: 107 ✭✭rere


    Is this going to be a different one to the July meet up on the other thread?


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    #41
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    I'm curious. What exactly is the definition of femme here? Of this is a MeetUp for femme women who like femme women, if a woman comes along who isn't femme enough is she getting asked to leave?


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    #42
    Ambersky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,220 ✭✭✭Ambersky


    Im curious too. Is being femme self defining for this group, as in if you say you are femme its taken that you are femme or do you have to be able to pass for straight, that would be an awful measure.

    Being femme as I understand it can run quite a gamut so some women dont look particularly femme by straight standards but feel femme in their being.

    Also on the issue of a group being for femme women who like femme women. Well I would take it someone would would want to like femmes to want to join a group of them but how about the femmes who fancy butch women or more androgynous types or just plain ordinary dykes or gay women as well as or instead of femmes. Its my understanding quite a few femmes feel like that would they be allowed to join.


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    #43
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    I am bi I went out with running amach for a while. It's nice because they do different things each week and there is a great mix.


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    #44
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    baby and crumble wrote: »
    I'm curious. What exactly is the definition of femme here? Of this is a MeetUp for femme women who like femme women, if a woman comes along who isn't femme enough is she getting asked to leave?

    Lord no! I would sincerely hope not!


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    #45
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    awh c'mon, if a group of self identifying femmes want to get together by themselves that should be ok too, no? (I don't think I am myself tbh)


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    #46
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    pharmaton wrote: »
    awh c'mon, if a group of self identifying femmes want to get together by themselves that should be ok too, no? (I don't think I am myself tbh)

    I've no issue with anyone doing that tbh but I'm curious about the 'policing' of it.


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    #47
    lady111
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭lady111


    Hi guys, only speaking for myself I would consider myself femme and only attracted to femme but I don't mind who comes ! The more the merrier ?! I agree with everyone we could have good crack ??guys I'm gonna be in front lounge tomorrow night with one male friend !


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    #48
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    baby and crumble wrote: »
    I've no issue with anyone doing that tbh but I'm curious about the 'policing' of it.
    well you could always hire a few butches to stake the place out for 'policing' purposes if it comes to it


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    #49
    GrandBlaa
    Registered Users Posts: 119 ✭✭GrandBlaa


    Hey guys, so what's happening? Is there a meet-up for definite this weekend?

    Can it be during the day? :D Even like a drop-in coffee thing


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    #50
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    GrandBlaa wrote: »
    Hey guys, so what's happening? Is there a meet-up for definite this weekend?

    Can it be during the day? :D Even like a drop-in coffee thing
    I suspect it's in Front Lounge Blaa, think there's another thread with details on the forum if you want to check it out


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    #51
    lady111
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭lady111


    So whose joining me in Fl tomorrow evening ?! Come on now!


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    #52
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    well I have no funds to make it to Dublin for a meet but I hope ye have a great time :)


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    #53
    GrandBlaa
    Registered Users Posts: 119 ✭✭GrandBlaa


    Boo, the evening is no good :(

    Ah well, have fun guys!! I mean, ladies!


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    #54
    Ambersky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,220 ✭✭✭Ambersky


    Pharmaton said
    awh c'mon, if a group of self-identifying femmes want to get together by themselves that should be ok too, no? (I don't think I am myself tbh)

    The expression or suggestion of this being a group for self-identifying femmes wasnt mentioned anywhere in this thread until I used it in my last post.
    I was asking and indeed hoping that the group would be inclusive enough to be self-identifying but I wasn’t presuming that it would be and that’s why I asked the question.

    There are all kinds of options when setting up groups. A femme group like all kinds of other groups, in defining the kind of member they are looking for are also by definition excluding people by saying they are looking for this kind of member but not any other kind of member.
    A womens LGBT group for example is looking for women members and not for male members. A womens LGBT group excludes men.
    A femme group will exclude others just who those others are isnt clear yet. It may seem more inclusive to just not say who you are not including but that can also lead to people not joining in because they are "not sure" if they fit the criteria.

    Even when a group initially doesn’t want to think about who is in and who is out, it will come up eventually and it can be better to think about such things before you are faced with the situation. Anyway thinking about who you are and what you are about is usually a very useful exercise.


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    #55
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    I think they had very obviously self identified Amber. I mean, I understand the point you are making, I just don't think it's that relevant here. People form groups naturally based on similar identities and commonalities, surely we should be able to trust our on judgment in these circumstances, rather than police the shít out of everything.


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    #56
    Ambersky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,220 ✭✭✭Ambersky


    Pharmaton I dont think you do get my point.
    My point isnt whether "they" as in those who have posted suggesting this group self identify. Its whether anyone who self identifies can join and that can be quite a wide group.

    Far from policing the group Im suggesting quite the opposite. I was the one who brought up self identification in the first place and suggested self identification as a way to be as inclusive as possible of future members.

    As I have said when people are not sure what the criteria are they might not go in case they dont fit the group.
    In your posts you first said in relation to a group of self identifying femmes
    (I don't think I am myself tbh)
    and then said
    well I have no funds to make it to Dublin for a meet but I hope ye have a great time
    That sounds like you yourself arent sure if you fit the criteria and I dont blame you, Im just trying to clarify it a bit. Its ok to clarify things isnt it.
    Anyway if the group gets together and if it continues meeting all this will evolve naturally. Unfortunately that sometimes means someone has to tell someone that they dont fit in and that can feel unfair when it wasnt stated clearly what the group was about in the first place.


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    #57
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    I think you're thinking too much about it. If you read back through the posts it appears as though a number of women who identified as femme wanted to get together. Does it really require an groupthink in order to pass the bar? Jaysus Amber, it's just a few people on the internets attempting to reach out to other people in the same boat.
    I've read a lot of your posts over the years and I've always enjoyed your perspective and insight, I do get it. It's simply a case of I don't find myself in that boat so I don't really identify. I mean, if ya have to ask then it's probably something you don't identify with ergo probably wouldn't want to attend. Have I gone a bit simple in my old age?

    (I'm not really into meeting people myself so its a bit of a non goer for me either which way, also if it's a general discussion on how you identify, maybe that's a different discussion for another thread)


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    #58
    Ambersky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,220 ✭✭✭Ambersky


    Pharmaton its just a question.

    My question was
    Is being femme self defining for this group, as in if you say you are femme its taken that you are femme or do you have to be able to pass for straight, that would be an awful measure.

    The first response was "Lord no! I sincerely hope not!"
    Another poster said she didnt mind who went but she was just attracted to femmes.

    A simple answer could have been
    Yes its a self defining group anyone who feels like they are femme are welcome to come along.

    No ones under attack. I think you thought that it was those who were asking for clarification that were going to "police" the meeting somehow saying who was in or who was out and actually I think its the reverse of that where the questions are being asked to help avoid people feeling like they couldnt go.
    That was my intention with the question anyway and I like your posts too I just dont know what you are upset or annoyed about really.


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    #59
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    I'm not upset at all! If anything I'm just being typically facetious. Ya know, we love a good old label discussion here every now and again. We'll have to organise a butch/androgynous/don't know what I am/don't care gathering sometime soon ;)


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    #60
    RagsOBrien
    Registered Users Posts: 70 ✭✭RagsOBrien


    I don't mind who attends any meetup that takes place. I identify as femme but I wouldn't like to exclude anyone based on whether or not they are femme. I think people can decide for themselves whether they fit into a group or not and it shouldn't be for others to decide on their behalf. The 'more the merrier' is my motto as already articulated by another poster!


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    #61
    lady111
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭lady111


    Hi ladies, I agree with rags, and everyone is welcome. Let's not overthink it as it may discourage any meeting , and meeting up sounds beneficial and could be some fun, you never know ! :-)


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