Advice on first time meeting a man

IrishLad24 · 04-02-2014 6:49pm #1

I've been chatting to a fella online for a good while now and we get along ok, I've never been with a fella before so he will be my first one, I am only interested in no strings sex, but I hope for him to become a regular meet. He is a total top and I am a total bottom so that is all ok, but he is also mad into sports lads and swapping underwear with cum on them, and im into neither of them, should I go and meet this fella? or will it just be a disaster?

Any advice is appreciated.

floggg · 04-02-2014 7:02pm

IrishLad24 wrote: »

I've been chatting to a fella online for a good while now and we get along ok, I've never been with a fella before so he will be my first one, I am only interested in no strings sex, but I hope for him to become a regular meet. He is a total top and I am a total bottom so that is all ok, but he is also mad into sports lads and swapping underwear with cum on them, and im into neither of them, should I go and meet this fella? or will it just be a disaster?

Any advice is appreciated.

Well it's up to you. If you are comfortable to play along with his fetish (which is ultimately harmless enough) then sure.

I would guess you aren't that comfortable with it - otherwise you wouldn't be posting here.

It can be a bit intimidating and confusing the first time without having to play along with a fetish so if that's part of the parcel then I'd say no if you aren't comfortable.

Perhaps see if he's interested in something more vanilla at first and see how you fare before potentially adding something in down the line?

One thing though, if he's your first time then you should really find somebody who is willing to be patient and take things at your pace and without pressure.

You should be free to say no at any time.

Don't feel you have to do anything in particular, and remember anal sex isn't a given so don't feel you have to do it for his sake or anything.

And be safe

IrishLad24 · 04-02-2014 7:09pm

floggg wrote: »

Well it's up to you. If you are comfortable to play along with his fetish (which is ultimately harmless enough) then sure.

I would guess you aren't that comfortable with it - otherwise you wouldn't be posting here.

It can be a bit intimidating and confusing the first time without having to play along with a fetish so if that's part of the parcel then I'd say no if you aren't comfortable.

Perhaps see if he's interested in something more vanilla at first and see how you fare before potentially adding something in down the line?

One thing though, if he's your first time then you should really find somebody who is willing to be patient and take things at your pace and without pressure.

You should be free to say no at any time.

Don't feel you have to do anything in particular, and remember anal sex isn't a given so don't feel you have to do it for his sake or anything.

And be safe

Honestly the thought of it kinda turns me off, he is always going on about love the smell of a sweaty man and smelling his boxers which dosnt do anything for me at all, actually kind of makes me feel a bit sick.

Other than that he is grand and willing to take this slowly and to my pace, I defiantly wont be rushing into doing anything, we said first time we would meet for just a chat and maybe a blowjob or something depending on how it feels, so I'd imagine it would be some time before he asks to swap boxers or anything but if I know he is gonna ask all that later so should I even bother meeting him? I suppose its a bit deeper than no stings fun but I am looking for a fella to meet up with regularly for just sex.

floggg · 04-02-2014 7:34pm

IrishLad24 wrote: »

Honestly the thought of it kinda turns me off, he is always going on about love the smell of a sweaty man and smelling his boxers which dosnt do anything for me at all, actually kind of makes me feel a bit sick.

Other than that he is grand and willing to take this slowly and to my pace, I defiantly wont be rushing into doing anything, we said first time we would meet for just a chat and maybe a blowjob or something depending on how it feels, so I'd imagine it would be some time before he asks to swap boxers or anything but if I know he is gonna ask all that later so should I even bother meeting him? I suppose its a bit deeper than no stings fun but I am looking for a fella to meet up with regularly for just sex.

I actually came across a few guys into variations of that fetish in my single/hooking up days. Never did anything for me either so never pursued anything with them.

Again, it's up to you and your level of comfort.

If he us going into this also expecting it could be regular then you would probably be better of telling him your not into that and see it he still wants to meet.

He may or may not. I guess though you should let him know. Though while it's not exactly the most outrageous kink, the fact he disclosed it at such early doors means it's probably something important to him.

Sex can be confusing enough when starting off, especially without all the associates mental baggage for closeted gay people, so I would try and avoid over complicating it too much at this stage personally.

IrishLad24 · 04-02-2014 7:41pm

floggg wrote: »

I actually came across a few guys into variations of that fetish in my single/hooking up days. Never did anything for me either so never pursued anything with them.

Again, it's up to you and your level of comfort.

If he us going into this also expecting it could be regular then you would probably be better of telling him your not into that and see it he still wants to meet.

He may or may not. I guess though you should let him know. Though while it's not exactly the most outrageous kink, the fact he disclosed it at such early doors means it's probably something important to him.

Sex can be confusing enough when starting off, especially without all the associates mental baggage for closeted gay people, so I would try and avoid over complicating it too much at this stage personally.

He always brings it up when we chat but I sorta just ignore it but I think your right it will be hard enough starting off so no point over complicating it, I would be better off waiting for someone whos into the same things as me, thanks for the advice, well appreciated.

Rick_ · 05-02-2014 12:36am

Well there you go. He brings it up every time you chat, so it's obviously a big thing for him. If it doesn't and won't ever interest you then just tell him that and if you still want to meet him and see how it goes, then feel free. But just don't expect him to drop it as I'd safely bet he'd bring it up again when your with him, or even suggest maybe swapping boxers when you are engaging in or have just finished some sort of sexual activity. How awkward would that be? If I were you I'd just keep looking.

IrishLad24 · 05-02-2014 4:43pm

Paddy C wrote: »

Well there you go. He brings it up every time you chat, so it's obviously a big thing for him. If it doesn't and won't ever interest you then just tell him that and if you still want to meet him and see how it goes, then feel free. But just don't expect him to drop it as I'd safely bet he'd bring it up again when your with him, or even suggest maybe swapping boxers when you are engaging in or have just finished some sort of sexual activity. How awkward would that be? If I were you I'd just keep looking.

Yeah ive decided Ill keep lookin, shame tho we got along well but its for the best....just have to start looking again

J_E · 05-02-2014 5:31pm

IrishLad24 wrote: »

I've been chatting to a fella online for a good while now and we get along ok, I've never been with a fella before so he will be my first one, I am only interested in no strings sex, but I hope for him to become a regular meet. He is a total top and I am a total bottom so that is all ok, but he is also mad into sports lads and swapping underwear with cum on them, and im into neither of them, should I go and meet this fella? or will it just be a disaster?

Any advice is appreciated.

Don't meet up, because if he's really into it and brings it up after you mentioned it's not your thing, he'll want you to be too, and if you aren't, it's just going to cause an unspoken friction.

You can get along fine with a person but if you are sexually clashing it can make things so, so awkward.

IrishLad24 · 05-02-2014 5:38pm

Cydoniac wrote: »

Don't meet up, because if he's really into it and brings it up after you mentioned it's not your thing, he'll want you to be too, and if you aren't, it's just going to cause an unspoken friction.

You can get along fine with a person but if you are sexually clashing it can make things so, so awkward.

Yeah deffo not goin to meet him, would be too awkward and its hard enough to start haha its a shame but its for the best

thanks for the help

pablo1eye · 09-02-2014 7:48pm

you sound like a nice guy

im in the same boat....bi-curious, never acted on my urges yet but really want to, you and i could maybe help each other out if you are interested....hmu

Advice on first time meeting a man

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