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Should I tell?

  • 02-05-2008 1:28pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I recently had surgery and today had the first follow up regarding it with one of the specialists who was working on my case. I was told that they found a dead 6week old embreo. I am devastated about this as it is, never mind the main reason I had the surgery which is still up in the air as regards biopsy results and the all clear!
    I am beyond shocked especially considering that my fertility is questionable anyway due to gynae problems and that I had a light period about 4/5 weeks before the operation.
    It gets worse, I wouldn't have believed it possible to be pregnant because I hadn't had sex for about 5/6 weeks before when my last relationship ended.

    He is a very good friend, and is friends with all my close friends... so I see it as tell him or tell no one. The question is, should I tell him? should I tell anyone?


Comments

  • #2
    Femelade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,820 ✭✭✭Femelade


    well if you need to talk about it, then maybe you shoudl tell him.
    Its not something someone shoudl deal with on their own.
    If he is a very good freind as you say then there shouldnt be a problem telling him.


  • #3
    barbiegirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    Tell him, he may want to know. Plus he's a good mate. I wouldn't go shouting it from the roof tops to everyone just maybe your best mates and family, but ultimately I think he has a right to know. I know that sounds funny as there is no child now, but still imo he should know.


  • #4
    How Strange
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,339 ✭✭✭How Strange


    should i tell? wrote: »
    I recently had surgery and today had the first follow up regarding it with one of the specialists who was working on my case. I was told that they found a dead 6week old embreo. I am devastated about this as it is, never mind the main reason I had the surgery which is still up in the air as regards biopsy results and the all clear!
    I am beyond shocked especially considering that my fertility is questionable anyway due to gynae problems and that I had a light period about 4/5 weeks before the operation.
    It gets worse, I wouldn't have believed it possible to be pregnant because I hadn't had sex for about 5/6 weeks before when my last relationship ended.

    He is a very good friend, and is friends with all my close friends... so I see it as tell him or tell no one. The question is, should I tell him? should I tell anyone?

    Only if you want to. You have to deal with this situation as best you can so do whatever you feel is the right thing for you. I don't think there's any obligation on you to tell him considering the relationship is over but it may help you to come to terms with it and grieve.


  • #5
    Redpunto
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,024 ✭✭✭Redpunto


    I know its no consoliation but im sure the embryo was not going to develop properly whatever happened...if you're still good friends and like the other posters said, it might be a good idea to have someone there you can talk it through with, from the aspect of should he know or does he have a right to know then I would not probably say anything. You will need to tell someone though so that you can work it out in your own head. I'm sorry that it happened:( Its not an easy thing to deal with and you will probably go through the grieving process so give yourself time.


  • #6
    sam34
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    Redpunto wrote: »
    I know its no consoliation but im sure the embryo was not going to develop properly whatever happened....


    what are you basing that on? the fact that the op mentioned the extremely vague phrase "gynae problems"???


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  • #7
    Redpunto
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,024 ✭✭✭Redpunto


    sam34 wrote: »
    what are you basing that on? the fact that the op mentioned the extremely vague phrase "gynae problems"???

    No :confused::confused: from the fact that most embryos that die, do so becuase they are non viable and/or have chromosomal abnormalities that make it impossible for the embryo to develop and grow into a foetus.


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