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Change recloation plans following breakup?

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  • 20-05-2015 9:28pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I was doing long distance with a guy for a couple of years, he lives in a big city a couple of hours from me and the goal was always for me to move to his city. We were both working toward that so we could move in together and takes things up a notch. It's a nice place and I like it there, but I know literally no-one other than him. And now we've gone and broken up I finally get offered a job there!

    I have no idea what to do, it's a good job but if I passed on it I'm sure another would come along eventually. But then I think am I cutting off my nose to spite my face? So much of the plan for the move was wrapped around him and 'us' and now there is no 'us' anymore I have no idea what to do. There's no chance of a reconciliation by the way, and we've decided not to try the friends thing.

    Any words of wisdom? Please!


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    #2
    orthsquel
    Registered Users Posts: 563 ✭✭✭orthsquel


    Did you want to move to that city anyway? Would you have moved there anyway at some point, if you had not met your ex?

    tbh I think if you had wanted to move there anyway, you should take up the job.

    If you had only intended on moving to that city, or taking that job for the sake of the relationship, then you should re-consider if that city really does appeal to you, and ask yourself if that is really what you want.


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    #3
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    It depends what you want for you as a person. If you don't see yourself settling where you live now, fancy a change of scene or reckon you need to move in order to get a better job then it'd be worth considering. On the other hand, if you move to somewhere different you will have to put in the effort to meet new people and make friends. Are you up for that?
    If you move and it doesn't work out, you can always move back anyway can't you?


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    #4
    pookie82
    Registered Users Posts: 2,217 ✭✭✭pookie82


    Just my two cents... if by any chance the city is Dublin, bear in mind the increase in the cost of living here compared with elsewhere in the country! Rents are soaring and you'll have to weigh that up against your new pay package. If you were really just moving for him and don't know anyone else here, it'll be tough, but maybe it'll be the change of scene you need to start afresh!


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    #5
    denhaagenite
    Registered Users Posts: 1,169 ✭✭✭denhaagenite


    I would say it really depends on the size of the city, the likelihood of bumping into him or not and how adverse either of you would be to that. I moved to a new country with my now husband almost 8 years ago, his ex girlfriend followed (with her new boyfriend in tow :eek:) and it was awkward to say the least, especially the time we had to hide in our local supermarket because we spotted her shopping there.


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