Non Catholic Children in School experiences???

safarigirl · 23-04-2012 5:19pm #1

A topic that comes up alot on this forum is the Christen or not to christen subject, Often asked due to the fact parents are worried about their children getting into school if they dont. Also alot of talk about taking Communion out of school ect....
I would really like to here experences from parents of children who are non catholics, whether Atheist, agnostic or from other beliefs, how does your child get on at school? do they feel left out? How do you speak to the school about you not wanting your children to do RE??
also if you yourself have been to school raised non Catholic what was it like for you?
I can tell you as a parent of a 8 month old baby, so far the predudice i have recieved by many( not all) catholics in Ireland for not Christening my child RC is discraceful to be very honest!!! I am told my daughter will be left out at school, and do it if you want a easy life!!!
Just interested in the reality of the situation? thanks for replys

safarigirl · 24-04-2012 6:44am

Wow over 80 views and not 1 reply does that mean you were all brought up Catholic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Improbable · 24-04-2012 7:07am

Well I think a lot of people are lurkers and not posters.

I'm not a parent but both of my parents are atheists and I was never brought up in a religious manner. I by my own choice elected not to participate in religion classes in school after I saw that it was by and large one sided indoctrination. My parents luckily agreed with me about that. The only thing that had to be done was writing a letter to the school to the effect that I did not want to attend religion classes and that they were ok with that, and from then on, I spent RE classes in supervision. I never felt any sense of being left out, it was very much a non issue.

Run_to_da_hills · 24-04-2012 9:08am

bexstar wrote: »

A topic that comes up alot on this forum is the Christen or not to christen subject, Often asked due to the fact parents are worried about their children getting into school if they dont. Also alot of talk about taking Communion out of school ect....
I would really like to here experences from parents of children who are non catholics, whether Atheist, agnostic or from other beliefs, how does your child get on at school? do they feel left out? How do you speak to the school about you not wanting your children to do RE??
also if you yourself have been to school raised non Catholic what was it like for you?
I can tell you as a parent of a 8 month old baby, so far the predudice i have recieved by many( not all) catholics in Ireland for not Christening my child RC is discraceful to be very honest!!! I am told my daughter will be left out at school, and do it if you want a easy life!!!
Just interested in the reality of the situation? thanks for replys

My brother refuses to do it also to a year old child in Ennis where the choice of non Catholic schools would be quite limited.

A Child should make his own mind up whether he/ she wants to become Christian or not and baptizing a child into the Catholic Church will only make him/ her just another statistic into the cult of roman Catholicism .

Penn · 24-04-2012 9:12am

bexstar wrote: »

Wow over 80 views and not 1 reply does that mean you were all brought up Catholic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Many people here either don't have children or send their children to an ET school. I'm sure there are a few who send their children to Catholic schools though. And I'd say most of us were probably brought up Catholic ourselves.

Newaglish · 24-04-2012 9:34am

bexstar wrote: »

Wow over 80 views and not 1 reply does that mean you were all brought up Catholic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wouldn't normally say this but seeing as you asked - I couldn't read the whole way through your first post. It hurts my eyes.

Galwaymother · 24-04-2012 10:36am

I have to say it's a serious problem to find a suitable school for atheists, especially in smaller cities or rural areas, where there is often no alternative to Catholic primaries and secondaries.
People will tell you that the religious aspect is not important, that it's not taken seriously etc, but in my opinion it's not the case, and the indoctrination is all-pervading.

When we put our first child into primary a long time ago there was no real choice in Galway, so we chose the lesser of evils: she went to the local Protestant school, reputed as more inclusive and open-minded as to religion.
In our discussion with the principal we were guaranteed she would not have to take part in assembly or do RE. Also the sacraments were held outside school hours in churches for those who wanted, as children were of many different backgrounds.
It worked fairly well, my children have not felt rejected by the system or left-out by their friends, except in the specific case of some heavy bullying about "refusing to believe in God" by some nasty children. But it could have been about anything else really...
We had to monitor everything closely and make our minds up regularly. For example we allowed them to join Choir, and even the Christmas plays, because it was an 'artistic' activity, but stopped them from attending Mass or Services which were only in connection with religion.
Communication with the school was important, I had to write letters explaining our position to new teachers etc, but they were very flexible I have to say.

My husband comes from a traditional Catholic family, they found it strange that we would not do the sacraments, but we started as we meant to go on, with a Civil Marriage, and they accepted it with grace.
What I found is that I sometimes felt my children were not made 'as big a deal' as their cousins, i.e. having no Baptism, Communion etc, and no replacement as my husband felt it would antagonise his family (I wanted a Welcome Baby party, which seemed normal to me, but not to him!). So no money from family and no pretty dress, but I make sure every birthday is a great party!

So my advice would be: hold on to your convictions, do not give in to outside pressure, while keeping your children's welfare at the front of your thoughts.

The more parents are ready to stand up for their beliefs in a non-confrontational way, the more Irish society will open itself to accept all of its children's rights!

Good luck!

Gregor Samsa · 24-04-2012 12:23pm

My unbaptised three year old daughter is already coming home from play group saying prayers. The indoctrination starts young, and often there isn't much choice to send them somewhere that it doesn't happen. One grandmother also takes every opportunity she can to ply her with religious kids books. Two at Christmas, and three at Easter so far this year. I'm doing my bit to counter it all, though.

It looks like she will be going to a Gaelscoil with Catholic patronage in September- although I do know that there's a few kids going there already from non-Irish backgrounds that aren't Catholic, and the school Principal seems to be very accommodating from discussions we've had with him. From what I hear it might be a different matter if we didn't want her to partake in hurling

.

A work colleague (who has described herself as a committed Catholic) was talking about all the stuff she had to organise for her daughter's communion recently. I didn't comment at all, but someone else said to me "Well, at least you won't have all that hassle." The colleague snapped "No, your daughter will be the one crying in the corner on her own while all the other kids enjoy their special day". I replied "How Christian of you!", which put a stop to her gallop. I'm hoping that such a cruel attitude is the exception rather than the rule.

Morag · 24-04-2012 6:06pm

You can do a search through my posts here in the forum.
I've a 12 year old and a 14 year old who are not christian, were brought up to be agnostic and are in 'mainstream' schools.

http://sharrowshadow.wordpress.com/2009/09/23/why-is-the-school-system-in-ireland-is-broken/
http://sharrowshadow.wordpress.com/2010/11/08/the-gideon-international-thier-books-and-schools/

School ethos I have found to be the most pernicious excuse for letting the school do as they wish and ignore non catholic/christian children.

You can raise your kids to know they have a choice and to respect the beliefs of others, you will have people making assumptions but while mine were the first irish children of 'no relgion' in the school that was 10 years ago and ireland is changing.

robindch · 27-04-2012 2:22pm

Here's an interesting report on the legality of the current situation:

http://www.clontarfreport.com

iguana · 28-04-2012 7:21pm

The one thing I did notice going through the Catholic school system is that students of other religions tended to be treated with respect and either left to their own devices during religious instruction/prayers or else respectfully asked questions by a teacher who was personally curious or who was using it as an opportunity to teach about diversity or tolerance. Students of no religion (who I only went to secondary with) were ridiculed, belittled or treated like trouble makers in relation to religion classes or praying in class. I had an English friend of no religion who very quickly found it easier to just pretend to be Protestant as that was much more easily accepted than trying to say she had no religion.

Galwaymother · 29-04-2012 12:18am

That is so true, iguana! When we had to put in the children's religion in the application forms for both primary and secondary, I found it safer to refer to their "mixed background (Catholic and Jewish)", under the mention "no Religion", which though it's strictly true, is ridiculous since we do not believe and/or transmit a belief in a God to our children.
But I knew they would get more respect that way than if they were just little trouble-makers atheists!
Once they got in, the "mixed background" got swiftly moved aside by us...;)

robindch · 29-04-2012 12:45am

iguana wrote: »

Students of no religion [...] were ridiculed, belittled or treated like trouble makers [...]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkLFG0CtdEo

qrrgprgua · 29-04-2012 10:38am

bexstar wrote: »

A topic that comes up alot on this forum is the Christen or not to christen subject, Often asked due to the fact parents are worried about their children getting into school if they dont. Also alot of talk about taking Communion out of school ect....
I would really like to here experences from parents of children who are non catholics, whether Atheist, agnostic or from other beliefs, how does your child get on at school? do they feel left out? How do you speak to the school about you not wanting your children to do RE??
also if you yourself have been to school raised non Catholic what was it like for you?
I can tell you as a parent of a 8 month old baby, so far the predudice i have recieved by many( not all) catholics in Ireland for not Christening my child RC is discraceful to be very honest!!! I am told my daughter will be left out at school, and do it if you want a easy life!!!
Just interested in the reality of the situation? thanks for replys

Lots of Church of Ireland in our school.. We never had any problems. There was no prejudice and this was back in the 80's in a school run by nuns. There was a Family there from Japan and they had no religion. Same there they were respected and the Girl has wonderful memories of her time. She came to the Communion service with her family obviously did not participate. They just wanted to see the ceremony. But she didn't go to religion class and school had study time of non Catholics during religion.

Just make you beliefs known.... You are not a Catholic and you have every right to be respected. I don't think schools are more religious today than when they were 20 years ago.. We were always taught never to make fun of protestants in school and never to point out religious differences.. And we all got along fine.

PlainP · 29-04-2012 12:20pm

I have two children with no religion and I send them to an Educate Together School.

Myself and my sister were on the start-up committee for the ET school as there was none on our area and we felt that it was important that they didn't feel "left out" when sacrament time came around. Also, they are exposed to all religions in an ET school and when/if they decide to have religion when they are old enough to understand what this means at least they can make an informed decison as to which one they should choose if they want to choose any.

Last year my then 7 yo asked me about making his communion I explained to him that he wasn't baptised therefore he couldn't make it but if he wanted to when he is older he could do what he wanted. He went on to inform me that he was a cathoilc and I said thats fine (the lols)

They both are very well rounded children with excellent morals and have never been in mass, except for funerals and weddings.

I highly recommend any parents who are non-religious to send their children to an ET school. The parents association of our school are now pushing for an ET Secondary school in our area. I hope this will happen by the time my children are leaving primary school.

F12 · 29-04-2012 12:31pm

phutyle wrote: »

A work colleague (who has described herself as a committed Catholic) was talking about all the stuff she had to organise for her daughter's communion recently. I didn't comment at all, but someone else said to me "Well, at least you won't have all that hassle." The colleague snapped "No, your daughter will be the one crying in the corner on her own while all the other kids enjoy their special day". I replied "How Christian of you!", which put a stop to her gallop. I'm hoping that such a cruel attitude is the exception rather than the rule.

I've seen a lot of that kind of thing too. It just goes to show that no amount of religion takes the raw and nasty animal nature out of certain types, and in fact seems to enhance it as though it is some 'right'. They just think that's the way things should be - according to their unthinking and reactive whims.

Non Catholic Children in School experiences???

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