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Wierd erotic fan fiction from One Direction fan results in 6 figure publishing deal

  • 24-06-2014 10:59am
    #1
    Foxhound38
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,547 ✭✭✭


    ... what?

    Yep, you heard right. The odd sex fantasies that some 25 year old yank has about Harry Styles has been read 800 million times, now numbers 294 chapters and has just been signed for a book deal worth a 6 figure sum, with a movie on the way...

    The Guardian summed up the story so far as this:
    Well, Harry meets a girl named Tessa. In chapter 22, Tessa goes to the Vancouver Mall. In chapter 75, Harry describes himself as "a sexy rude naked guy". In the next chapter they almost have sex but end up watching a Channing Tatum film on a laptop instead. I stopped reading after that, but presumably the rest is just as gripping.

    Rivetting...

    Moral of the story folks - ... I'm not sure what the moral of this story is tbh...


Comments

  • #2
    Mrs Garth Brooks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,865 ✭✭✭Mrs Garth Brooks


    Mmm, never mind one direction, new sexy porn book on the way with Garth Brooks. I'll make my millions.


  • #3
    Alf. A. Male
    Closed Accounts Posts: 740 ✭✭✭Alf. A. Male


    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Mmm, never mind one direction, new sexy porn book on the way with Garth Brooks. I'll make my millions.

    Entitled "Shameless; The Story of what Garth did to my Low Places"

    Capter One: "He showed up in boots....and nothing else...."


  • #4
    Buzz Killington the third
    Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Buzz Killington the third


    It reminds me of the whole 'Twilight moms' thing. It's just creepy!


  • #5
    mike65
    Closed Accounts Posts: 88,972 ✭✭✭✭mike65


    Fan fiction is the only way to make a living in publishing these days.


  • #6
    mariaalice
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,619 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    Foxhound38 wrote: »
    ... what?

    Yep, you heard right. The odd sex fantasies that some 25 year old yank has about Harry Styles has been read 800 million times, now numbers 294 chapters and has just been signed for a book deal worth a 6 figure sum, with a movie on the way...

    The Guardian summed up the story so far as this:



    Rivetting...

    Moral of the story folks - ... I'm not sure what the moral of this story is tbh...

    As long as it also includes lots of food porn and designer shopping with good looking wealthy people it should do well. That sort of thing is very popular.


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  • #7
    Foxhound38
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,547 ✭✭✭Foxhound38


    I'm waiting for the inevitable Irish porn book breakout hit...

    "The moonlight danced off the sweat on his arse" :pac:


  • #8
    GalwayGuy2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    I'm not surprised tbh.

    Written sexual fantasies are a bit odd.


  • #9
    Foxhound38
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,547 ✭✭✭Foxhound38


    GalwayGuy2 wrote: »
    I'm not surprised tbh.

    Written sexual fantasies are a bit odd.

    I find it a bit creepy that it's the product of a 25 year old adult!


  • #10
    GalwayGuy2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    Foxhound38 wrote: »
    I find it a bit creepy that it's the product of a 25 year old adult!

    Ah well. I guess they're dragged along with their children to their concerts. Adults minds wander when they're bored, and, when you factor in the social isolation factor of motherhood, sexuality can get a bit weird.

    Is it the age or the reliance on fantasy that bothers you?


  • #11
    snaphook
    Closed Accounts Posts: 328 ✭✭snaphook


    Styles is "The Cheeky One" is he?

    FFS.


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  • #12
    shruikan2553
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,113 ✭✭✭shruikan2553


    I have no writing skills and a stupid idea. Time for me to make millions.


  • #13
    BeerWolf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,122 ✭✭✭BeerWolf


    If it's been read 800 million times, who the hell's going to buy what they've already read? :confused:


  • #14
    Muise...
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,512 ✭✭✭Muise...


    Alf. A. Male wrote: »
    Entitled "Shameless; The Story of what Garth did to my Low Places"

    Capter One: "He showed up in boots....and nothing else...."

    Chapter Two: "He ain't going down till the sun comes up."


  • #15
    BeerWolf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,122 ✭✭✭BeerWolf


    The Guardian wrote:
    So this is how you get rich? Write in a stream of consciousness style about celebrities having sex with an impressionable young woman and wait for the money to roll in? It depends on which celebrities you pick. Stories about Harry Styles and Robert Pattinson, for example, will do well. Stories about Philip Schofield having sex with a dinosaur, possibly less so.

    w t f

    ?

    ?

    --.--;

    o.O;


  • #16
    Raphael
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,880 ✭✭✭Raphael


    Still a better love story than Twilight


  • #17
    Mrs Garth Brooks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,865 ✭✭✭Mrs Garth Brooks


    Alf. A. Male wrote: »
    Entitled "Shameless; The Story of what Garth did to my Low Places"

    Capter One: "He showed up in boots and his stetson....His stetson was hung...."

    Edited your post


  • #18
    hatrickpatrick
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,797 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    Moral of the story is that the world needs more well written erotica. The problem with a lot of it is that many people have massively high sex drives but no way with words, so you get erotica with incredibly steamy concepts, but so badly presented that the lousy writing style managed to negate the sexy.

    What you really want in an erotica author is a cross between Jenna Jameson and JK Rowling. ;)


  • #19
    RikkFlair
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,109 ✭✭✭RikkFlair


    Wand Erection


  • #20
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,104 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Harry gripped his wand tightly.


  • #21
    Seedy Arling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,002 ✭✭✭Seedy Arling


    Writing unoriginal shyte about unoriginal shyte. It's shyte inception.


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  • #22
    GalwayGuy2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    Harry gripped his wand tightly.

    Ginny hoped he'd stop thinking about Voldemort when he used his wand.


  • #23
    alroley
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,232 ✭✭✭alroley




  • #24
    hatrickpatrick
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,797 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    GalwayGuy2 wrote: »
    Ginny hoped he'd stop thinking about Voldemort when he used his wand.

    "It'd only be dangerous if you waved it around shouting 'I've got an unbeatable wand, come and have a go if you think you're hard enough...'" :pac:


  • #25
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    hatrickpatrick wrote: »
    Moral of the story is that the world needs more well written erotica. The problem with a lot of it is that many people have massively high sex drives but no way with words, so you get erotica with incredibly steamy concepts, but so badly presented that the lousy writing style managed to negate the sexy.
    "His hands explored her most hidden and explosive places... the way a mechanic's hands might get to work inside a car's engine."


  • #26
    GalwayGuy2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    I kid you not, I read this in a novel that I realised was a tad, eh, 'raunchy'.
    He slipped into her like a wet otter into water

    :eek:


  • #27
    Muise...
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,512 ✭✭✭Muise...


    Unless you're writing it with your tongue on your lover's skin, erotica is generally full of cringe.

    (oops, that sounds like I have a Helen Keller kink :eek:)

    For years, the Bad Sex Award has celebrated the purplest, most moist and juddering prose in mainstream literature- try these for a laugh:

    http://www.theguardian.com/books/poll/2013/dec/03/bad-sex-awards-extracts-poll


  • #28
    Jonny Blaze
    Closed Accounts Posts: 753 ✭✭✭Jonny Blaze


    Selling sex to repressed middle aged housewives has been a goldmine ever since repressed middle aged housewives became a thing.

    Same as it ever was imo!


  • #29
    castletownman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,501 ✭✭✭✭castletownman


    I think that this is further proof that when it comes to obsessing over celebrities, women are bigger perverts than men.

    Last year, Heath from Home and Away went on a whistle-stop tour of Ireland and got groped and photographed with every horny young fan in the country. Yet it's the lads that get flak over sex obsession.


  • #30
    GalwayGuy2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    Yup. There's a good rough rule that says your critical thinking skills fall in relation to the rising of your arousal.


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  • #31
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Trent is the best erotic fiction ever.


  • #32
    Ditch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 809 ✭✭✭Ditch


    Who Is " Harry Styles " ? :confused:


  • #33
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,927 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    Ditch wrote: »
    Who Is " Harry Styles " ? :confused:

    Is it another version of Gangnam stlyes?


  • #34
    Jonny Blaze
    Closed Accounts Posts: 753 ✭✭✭Jonny Blaze


    This thread has me thinking of a book of erotic short stories my brother had which I read when I was a kid.

    It was called 'The Labyrinth' and even then I found it more funny than sexy.

    There was one in particular about a tiny little Tom Thumb type character who met with a regular (giant) woman and the descriptions of him bodily dry humping one of her breasts I found highly amusing.

    Tried to google it and all I came up was some minotaur based erotica courtesy of amazon 'self publishing' kindle!


  • #35
    LizzieJones
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,459 ✭✭✭LizzieJones


    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Mmm, never mind one direction, new sexy porn book on the way with Garth Brooks. I'll make my millions.

    Oh, the things I could do with Colin Firth. :D


  • #36
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,927 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    E.L. James initially wrote fanfiction under the pen name "Snowqueens Icedragon", with her most notable work being a Twilight fanfiction that eventually developed into Fifty Shades of Grey, and subsequent film adaptation. James has spoken of her shock at the success of the book. "The explosion of interest has taken me completely by surprise" she said. James has described the Fifty Shades trilogy as "my midlife crisis, writ large. All my fantasies in there, and that's it." She did not start to write until January 2009, as she revealed while still active on fanfiction.net as Snowqueen's Icedragon: "I started writing in January 2009 after I finished the Twilight saga, and I haven't stopped since. I discovered Fan Fiction in August 2009. Since then I have written my two fics and plan on doing at least one more. After that... who knows?" In August 2013, sales of the trilogy saw James top the Forbes' list of the highest-earning authors with earnings of $95m which included $5m for the film rights to Fifty Shades of Grey

    Fanfiction.net is officially on my sh*t list.


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  • #37
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    Some written porn is good in fairness.

    But back to badly written porn: the "Bad sex" awards thing showcases some hilarious stuff!

    The Twilight moms and women perving over One Direction when they were only teenagers IS creepy.


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