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what do you do if you are expected to organise a catholic funeral?

2»

Comments

  • #52
    eoin5
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,141 ✭✭✭eoin5


    silverharp wrote: »
    At some stage (hopefully a decade off) my remaining parent will bow to the inevitable. My wider family will be expecting a traditional funeral. What do you do? My preference would be a quick cremation and go for a meal with my close family. Instead I cant see how to avoid the "circus" with the frock man telling me where he imagines where my departed is in the universe.

    A few parts of my dads ceremony really pissed me off, he died tragically and the last thing I wanted was the priest talking about mysterious ways and reasons for this or that. A funeral in the church is what he would've wanted, a situation where I would be very close to storming out of the church is not what he would've wanted. The problem with the dead is that you can't discuss these things with them so unless they've left some specifics it makes sense to go with the status quo.


  • #53
    aidan24326
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,925 ✭✭✭aidan24326


    Busi_Girl08 wrote: »
    My wish is for my Mum, or whoever is left behind to get some sort of comfort.

    Of course, but why couldn't they take comfort in knowing that your funeral was being conducted in a manner appropriate to your beliefs and your outlook on life, whatever that might be? Surely it's more important to respect the wishes of the person that's dead. This idea that 'I'm gonna be dead anyway so who cares' doesn't stack up with me. If someone close to me died and I knew they really wanted a religious funeral i'd hope that's what they would get. I mightn't like some aspects of it but I'd respect that that was their wish. Some people seem to be of the opinion that a funeral ceremony is only for the people who are left behind, I would argue that it's just as much if not more for the person who is gone. He/she is after all the person who is the central figure in the whole episode.

    ThirdMan wrote: »
    Honestly, no. Not anymore.

    This is my third incarnation on this forum.

    I've contributed here numerous times before. It's my belief that it's going downhill. Fast.

    I think that type of thing is very much frowned upon! And if you feel the forum is going downhill feel free to elevate it to a new level.


  • #54
    obliviousgrudge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 703 ✭✭✭obliviousgrudge


    I was in hotel in Dublin last Summer and we could hear loud music up stairs, so I went up and had a glance around the place, it was a disco.

    Then, back downstairs the waiter told us it was a funeral.

    It seemed more like a wedding but it was a funeral.

    They definitley gave her a good send off anyway.


  • #55
    Choochtown
    Registered Users Posts: 1,438 ✭✭✭Choochtown


    As a new poster I find the attitude on this forum very refreshing. Genuine opinions are given with very little of the personal snipes and point-scoring that characterise so many other forums.


  • #56
    robindch
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,420 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    ThirdMan wrote: »
    This is my third incarnation on this forum.
    In that case, welcome back (again) -- you have me intrigued now...
    ThirdMan wrote: »
    It's my belief that it's going downhill. Fast.
    Well, in A+A untenable beliefs are our stock in trade :) Can you explain what you think has gone rotten?


  • #57
    kilmuckridge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 56 ✭✭kilmuckridge


    Why not rent out the church to do your own thing? Or explain to the priest if he insists on being present that it's not his father, so if you cannot show your respects in the desired manner, you will go elsewhere. All the "rules" get broken for celebrities, but the expectation that your parents will be buried in their "own parish" might make him think he can demand all these silly rules and agreements from you

    Otherwise rent a community hall


  • #58
    ThirdMan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,700 ✭✭✭ThirdMan


    ColmDawson wrote: »
    If only your holy trinity had kept us on the right path...

    I've offered an opinion that you don't agree with. So you think I'm a Christian/troll. This is the primary reason why I think this forum is going downhill fast.


  • #59
    mathepac
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,991 ✭✭✭mathepac


    eoin5 wrote: »
    A few parts of my dads ceremony really pissed me off, he died tragically and the last thing I wanted was the priest talking about mysterious ways and reasons for this or that. A funeral in the church is what he would've wanted, a situation where I would be very close to storming out of the church is not what he would've wanted. The problem with the dead is that you can't discuss these things with them so unless they've left some specifics it makes sense to go with the status quo.
    First of all my condolences on your tragic loss and secondly, hopefully without sounding condecsending, could I commend you on your tolerence and the respect you showed for your late father and his surviving family by not reacting.

    I have heard people talk about tolerence as if it's the ability to float through life without having strong feelings one way or another about anything. I believe a truly tolerant person is the one who out of respect and love for others finds somwhere in themselves the ability to put the wants and needs of others before their own and to become, for even a short period, "self-less".

    Those close to you are fortunate to have you as a family-member or friend.


  • #60
    ThirdMan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,700 ✭✭✭ThirdMan


    Dades wrote: »
    And I'd be quiet about incarnations. Boards tends to crucify people who come back for the wrong reasons. :)

    Look, I've been honest here. If that gets me into trouble or results in a ban, then fair enough. I'm not up to anything sinister. I stopped using my first account because the posts I had previously submitted didn't reflect where I then was in my life. I stopped using my second account because I encountered a bit too much of the type of attitude thrown at me by ColmDawson. I don't think there's anything wrong with breaking from old accounts/opinions. I've never used two accounts at the same time.


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  • #61
    Zillah
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,371 ✭✭✭✭Zillah


    robindch wrote: »
    Ah, here's the thing I was looking for:

    Archbishop Brady Says Funerals About God, Not the Dead

    This is disgusting. One more reason to oppose the Catholic Church.
    *throws it on the burgeoning pile*


  • #62
    Dades
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,558 Mod ✭✭✭✭Dades


    ThirdMan wrote: »
    Look, I've been honest here. If that gets me into trouble or results in a ban, then fair enough. I'm not up to anything sinister. I stopped using my first account because the posts I had previously submitted didn't reflect where I then was in my life. I stopped using my second account because I encountered a bit too much of the type of attitude thrown at me by ColmDawson. I don't think there's anything wrong with breaking from old accounts/opinions. I've never used two accounts at the same time.
    I/we in A&A don't really give a darn about your accounts. Would just prefer if people didn't make unexplained remarks about the forum. If the forum isn't to your liking, leave, or stick around and make it better. I'd hope you choose the latter.


  • #63
    ThirdMan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,700 ✭✭✭ThirdMan


    Dades wrote: »
    Would just prefer if people didn't make unexplained remarks

    I offered the primary reason why I said what I did.


  • #64
    mikhail
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,862 ✭✭✭mikhail


    ThirdMan wrote: »
    I offered the primary reason why I said what I did.
    He was just explaining his initial reaction (before your explanation) and general position as a moderator.


  • #65
    FISMA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,616 ✭✭✭FISMA


    silverharp,
    With all due respect, are you an atheist? If so, fair enough. If you have a morale problem with the "circus," then recuse yourself. Exit stage right. I would prefer to have my funeral overseen by someone a little more respectful than yourself.

    If you are an atheist, then aren't you neutral on Religion? If so, then take a neutral stance.

    It sounds as if you are anti-Religious from your post.

    IMHO, the wishes of the parent(s) should be respected. If you cannot do so, then man/woman up and recuse yourself.

    I am sure that Mom or Dad never once had to swallow their pride or beliefs when it came to yourself.


  • #66
    Muppet Man
    Registered Users Posts: 1,666 ✭✭✭Muppet Man


    If you havent already, for Good practical advice check out http://www.rip.ie/

    A friend of mine (agnostic) whose mum recently passed away said that he found the structure / proceduralisation of Catholic funerals to be a helpful relief. i.e. There was 10 steps that needed to happen and you know what each steps is... (funeral directors play a big part too). There was no running around wondering "WTF do I do now?!?". I believe Dawkins himself said he didnt mind being buried and he didnt have any issues with funerals as it gives an opprotunity to grieve, reflect and move on.

    Take Care
    Muppet Man.


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  • #67
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 23,339 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    RoverJames wrote: »
    icon4.gif

    MOD EDIT

    -- Completely disproportionate abusive reaction snipped --

    RoverJames taking a ban.


    I am very surprised to see the entire post was edited, what was deemed abusive I have no issue with being removed but removing the body of the post is a tad strange. Perhaps the facts that disagreed with the rubbish posted earlier in the thread isn't what ye wanted to read in here. I will be posting no longer in this forum as there is no point. I would like the body of my post to be put back though, no doubt it won't.


  • #68
    Paddysnapper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 227 ✭✭Paddysnapper


    Bernard Manning's son asked him that when he died would he like to be buried or cremated....Bernard Manning replied..."I don't know son surprise me":rolleyes:


  • #69
    magicbastarder
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 50,178 CMod ✭✭✭✭magicbastarder


    i've said it before, and i'll say it again; when i die, i want my body to be dropped from 20,000ft, naked and smeared in lard, onto kevin myers.


  • #70
    robindch
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,420 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    RoverJames wrote: »
    I am very surprised to see the entire post was edited, what was deemed abusive I have no issue with being removed but removing the body of the post is a tad strange.
    Dades may not have found anything worth keeping in your original post.
    RoverJames wrote: »
    Perhaps the facts that disagreed with the rubbish posted earlier in the thread isn't what ye wanted to read in here.
    In case you didn't realize, you were banned for referring, within the space of three sentences, to another post as "utter bollocks" and another poster as "narrow-minded", "bigotted" (sp) and a fucktard.
    RoverJames wrote: »
    I will be posting no longer in this forum [...]
    Can't imagine anybody will be too worried.

    The best of luck elsewhere.


  • #71
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 23,339 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    robindch wrote: »
    In case you didn't realize, you were banned for referring, within the space of three sentences, to another post as "utter bollocks" and another poster as "narrow-minded", "bigotted" (sp) and a fucktard.Can't imagine anybody will be too worried.

    The best of luck elsewhere.

    Remove the three points above and the narrow minded, bigotted f tard may have learnt something ;) The fact the rest of the post must of bothered ye so much puts a wry grin on my face.


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  • #72
    robindch
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,420 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    RoverJames wrote: »
    The fact the rest of the post must of bothered ye so much puts a wry grin on my face.
    It bothered nobody, since quite a few few other posters said exactly the same thing, but without insulting anybody.

    As above, I imagine that Dades simply couldn't be bothered to spend the time to rewrite your post for you so that it didn't contain any offensive language.


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