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Access to daughter

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  • 25-10-2014 11:32am
    #1
    Darragh11
    Registered Users Posts: 69 ✭✭


    Hi guys im not sure if im in the right thread but i hope somebody can help me. My ex and i broke up over 3 years ago now and she always makes it hard for me to see my now 4 year old daughter. I have been in contact with a solicitor and for the last year not much has happened apart from letters back and forth. My ex claiming my daughter doesnt want to spend time with me and is afraid of me. Court has been adjourned twice but now up again soon in november hopefully, i am goin for proper access and guardianship. I got a court order during the summer against her for access to my daughter every second weekend but she has broken that continuously like wen i go to pick up my daughter my ex will have left and brought my daughter somewhere. Im just wondering if anybody has any advice out there like she has to face some consequences for this as she has cut me out of my daughters life completely and i still lodge maintenance into my ex account every week and text to tell her and ask how my daughter is but never get a response. Any advice will be appreciated thanks.


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    #2
    desbrook
    Registered Users Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    Why does she block you out do you think? I think that's the key to any resolution IF there is one.


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    #3
    Darragh11
    Registered Users Posts: 69 ✭✭Darragh11


    Hi thanks for your reply, she says that my daughter doesnt want to spend time with me and is afraid of me which i know is completely untrue but my daughter is so used to being with her mother now its very hard for her to leave her if you know what i mean?


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    #4
    desbrook
    Registered Users Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    My reading of your situation is this - that you have been "awarded" access for two nights every second weekend however you recognise that your daughter finds it difficult to be away from her mother at this point. DON'T argue about the reason for this - you are where you are.

    You've answered your own question - a compromise is needed so your daughter can get to know you and overtime build up to the time awarded.

    For your daughter's sake ask your ex what is an appropriate length of stay every second weekend. Take her at her word, even if it's only four hours initially but agree to review it in three months or similar. Could that work?


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    #5
    superstepmom2b
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭superstepmom2b


    The access the court as allocated. Is the overnight stay at the weekend? Or is it getting her for a couple of hours sat and Sunday?

    There seems to be an issue with the mother letting you see your daughter at all.

    For the sake of your child and for her to be able to have a proper relationship with her father and to get to the point of her being able to stay with you overnight could you suggest seeing her for a couple of hours every Saturday. Then move to ever second week and see her both days before moving to overnights.

    Children usually adjust well to things but they will take the lead from both parents. If access has been court ordered when she is breaching the arrangement have you gone back to court over it etc. You may need to get the order adjusted for a short time and if that doesn't work you'll probably need to take her vack to court.

    Try suggest mediation and if she continues to ignore or breach the court order you need to go to a solicitor for advice.


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    #6
    AndonHandon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,384 ✭✭✭AndonHandon


    If she is in breach of a court order for access then this is extremely serious and you need to raise this with a judge OP. She must allow you access on the terms of the other or the consequences will be serious for her.


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