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What should I do

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  • 22-04-2015 1:31am
    #1
    squashman
    Registered Users Posts: 27 ✭


    Hi. I met a guy ages ago online. We got on really well and we text a lot like everyday. I have asked him on numerous occasions if he wanted to meet up for a date. He agrees but every time on the day before he pulls out of it. I don't know what to do. He is giving genuine reasons the whole time but I feel I am still being played. He is lovely and I really like him what should I do ?


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    #2
    Rick_
    Registered Users Posts: 2,606 ✭✭✭Rick_


    Not a nice situation to be in, but have been there myself so you have my sympathies.

    Having an excuse every time just before you are due to meet up would certainly make me think that he was not interested and just wasn't sure how to let you down gently - this is what happened me. He may be hoping you just give up asking and take the hint that he doesn't want to meet you.

    Perhaps leave the ball in his court and ask him to suggest a time and date for you to meet up on and see what he says. If he doesn't reply or keeps putting off settling on a time/date then take that as your answer and try and forget him and move on.

    Hope you get a result either way for your own peace of mind. :)


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    #3
    Ten of Swords
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,226 CMod ✭✭✭✭Ten of Swords


    How many times roughly has this happened? 2 or 3 and I may be willing to give him the benefit of the doubt at a stretch, more than 3 times and I would say you are most definitely being played in which case I'd move on, quickly!

    Moderator: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender, Vegan & Vegetarian

    Category Moderator: Social & Fun



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    #4
    Aurongroove
    Registered Users Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Aurongroove


    Be honest with him, and tell him it'r bothering you.

    Genuine reasons or no, constantly making dates and then pulling is not on.


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    #5
    squashman
    Registered Users Posts: 27 ✭squashman


    I asked him 5 times now and each time something came up so he had to pull away at the last minute. Could it be that he is just shy or something ?


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    #6
    L1011
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 67,697 Mod ✭✭✭✭L1011


    squashman wrote: »
    I asked him 5 times now and each time something came up so he had to pull away at the last minute. Could it be that he is just shy or something ?

    Three options, in order of likelyhood:

    1: Timewaster
    2: Shy
    3: Actually busy

    If you met him on Grindr, #1 is far, far in front.


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    #7
    nathang20
    Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭nathang20


    I'm shy at the best of times, it is never intentional in any social situation. I used to take my time with meeting people. I never took it as a bad point! I was due to meet a guy along time ago (I'm old). He was, as it turned out, sound, I was just nervous and I was even more nervous trying to come up with excuses for why I kept postponing the dates. I wouldn't necessarily jump to any negative conclusions. People can be funny at the best of times.


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    #8
    Madame_Diem
    Registered Users Posts: 86 ✭✭Madame_Diem


    Sounds to me like he is shy and has a lack of confidence. Its your choice. You can be patient or move on. I myself have been both sides of the situation. The younger me was shy and lacked confidence. I am more confident the older I have become with experience.


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