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When Can We Tell People????

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  • 23-07-2008 9:12am
    #1
    shakespeare
    Closed Accounts Posts: 113 ✭✭


    I wonder if you can help me...

    My Girlfriend and I are 6 weeks pregnant and completely overjoyed!

    The doctor says that we shouldnt tell anyone till after 12 weeks.

    as you can imagine, we are really dying to tell our familys and were wondering what the general feeling was towards how long you should wait before telling people?

    would love to hear what everyone thinks.

    thanks a million.

    Clarence


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    #2
    Grawns
    Registered Users Posts: 2,169 ✭✭✭Grawns


    We told our immediate family at once and then I had a private scan at 9 1/2 weeks and the dr said that once you see the baby and hear the heartbeat it's okay to tell people as miscarraige chances go right down to around 5%. I've told a few other close friends and my family but am waiting until 12 weeks (am now 10+4 days) to make a general announcement.

    I'd say it's up to you to decide.


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    #3
    Honey-ec
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    The general consensus is 12 weeks, just to be on the safe side.

    One of my colleaugues told us all her sister was pregnant at only 5 weeks, and unfortunately she lost the baby at 8 weeks.


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    #4
    littlebug
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,832 ✭✭✭littlebug


    First time round I told family and closest friends straight off. I waited til after 12 weeks to tell other friends/ work/ general public. If I'd had a miscarriage I would have wanted to talk to those closest to me so I don't see the harm in telling at all... just maybe not broadcasting it far and wide.


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    #5
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Most miscarriages happen in the first 12 weeks, hence people tend to wait until that time period has past just to be on the safe side.
    I waited until after 12 week for that reason.

    Congrats!


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    #6
    shakespeare
    Closed Accounts Posts: 113 ✭✭shakespeare


    thats a good point about the closest family thing...

    thaks so much for everyone replying.


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    #7
    dodgyme
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,581 ✭✭✭dodgyme


    shakespeare wrote: »
    My Girlfriend and I are 6 weeks pregnant and completely overjoyed!


    when is your first scan?


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    #8
    LolaDub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,181 ✭✭✭LolaDub


    Congratulations! I would tell family and best friends alright and wait for announcements far and wide until 12 weeks. I hope it all goes well for you!


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    #9
    shakespeare
    Closed Accounts Posts: 113 ✭✭shakespeare


    first scan is early september...


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    #10
    dodgyme
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,581 ✭✭✭dodgyme


    shakespeare wrote: »
    first scan is early september...

    Well if you dont live to close to family and friends keeping it to yourself will be easy (well easier) otherwise it will be tough.:o


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    #11
    nesf
    Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    We told close friends and family early. Essentially we would need their support whether it went well or badly (i.e. miscarriage). Not telling anyone for 12 weeks would be hard for me to do, but if you can do it, it avoids getting accidentally asked any "how's the baby coming?" questions after a miscarriage.

    I think it's harder for most people to stay quiet the first time around.


    Congratulations by the way!


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    #12
    Grawns
    Registered Users Posts: 2,169 ✭✭✭Grawns


    shakespeare wrote: »
    first scan is early september...

    If she doesn't want to wait that long you can get a private scan done here. http://www.femplus.ie/ It cost €100 and is worth every penny. They give you photos and you can hear the heartbeat. It's best to wait to 7 weeks but it takes a few days to get an appointment. Where are you based?


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    #13
    lostinnappies
    Closed Accounts Posts: 827 ✭✭✭lostinnappies


    if your girlfriend is very skinny you will be able to tell at about 12 weeks but if like the rest of us she is not stick thin then it will be more like 4/5months.


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    #14
    silja
    Registered Users Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭silja


    When tot ell is totally up to you- if friends/ family know you are trying for a baby, they may ask and it will be difficult to lie!

    We decided to tell a few days after we found out, firstly because of the above but also because if something had happened, we would be totally devastated and wanted the support of our nearest and dearest.


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    #15
    arctictree
    Registered Users Posts: 4,290 ✭✭✭arctictree


    We were waiting until 12 weeks but blurted it out at a party at the weekend. (at 11 weeks). We've had the early scan and all looked OK. We live in a rural area with 4 houses clustered beside each other. Turns out 3 of us are due in February!! (Must have been that party in May....)


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    #16
    Khannie
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 37,485 Mod ✭✭✭✭Khannie


    Congrats! :D Happy times. Looking forward to that feeling again myself to be honest. :)
    silja wrote: »
    We decided to tell a few days after we found out, firstly because of the above but also because if something had happened, we would be totally devastated and wanted the support of our nearest and dearest.

    I've done both ways (told, then had miscarriage and not told then had miscarriage) and I can say with absolute certainty that not telling was a lot easier to deal with. You can tell whoever you want support from anyway and don't have random eejits asking you how the pregnancy's progressing because someone told them that you were pregnant etc.

    After the 12 week mark is definitely the safest bet.
    Grawns wrote: »
    the dr said that once you see the baby and hear the heartbeat it's okay to tell people as miscarraige chances go right down to around 5%.

    Don't think that 5% figure is accurate tbh. In the case of both of our miscarriages we saw a heartbeat in early scans (heartbeat is visible at around 6-7 weeks iirc).


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    #17
    Queen-Mise
    Registered Users Posts: 7,461 ✭✭✭Queen-Mise


    12 weeks again.

    for my tuppence worth though, wait as long as possible before you tell anyone (prob outside family), I was losing the will to live with everyone asking, How far gone, how long to go.........

    24 weeks, 25 weeks, 26 weeks, omg it was actually horrid on second pregnancy, people knew too early and it went on for ever.


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