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The today I cocked up thread - come in and cleanse yourself

  • 26-05-2009 8:38pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25


    Today I cocked up. Every day people the world over cock up, make mistakes, embarass themselves and hope nobody noticed. But these mistakes should be confessed for the rest of the world to laugh at or indeed to say well that wasn't too bad here's what I did today. The beauty about the internet and it's relatively annonymous nature is that people can share their biggest mistakes and most embarrassing of moments in public yet in private.

    So here's a thread dedicated to cock ups you made today. Come in post your stupidity for all to judge. Cleanse your soul and feel better about it after. All confessions welcomed even if they're not embarrassing ( but if not embarassing make them whoppers :p )

    So my contribution to start things off ........

    Today I cocked up. I was meant to forward a fairly controversial yet funny email to my friends group but managed to send it to all contacts inculding my work colleagues, boss, most customers I deal with and worse still my parents who will wonder what planet I have descended from when they read it.


    Feel much better for getting that off my chest and invite fellow cock up merchants to post their stories below.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,080 ✭✭✭✭Random


    Is this about masterbation?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    I'm learning to drive and I kept cutting out at traffic lights today. I'm sorry people behind me.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    PatF wrote: »
    Today I cocked up. Every day people the world over cock up, make mistakes, embarass themselves and hope nobody noticed. But these mistakes should be confessed for the rest of the world to laugh at or indeed to say well that wasn't too bad here's what I did today. The beauty about the internet and it's relatively annonymous nature is that people can share their biggest mistakes and most embarrassing of moments in public yet in private.

    So here's a thread dedicated to cock ups you made today. Come in post your stupidity for all to judge. Cleanse your soul and feel better about it after. All confessions welcomed even if they're not embarrassing ( but if not embarassing make them whoppers :p )

    So my contribution to start things off ........

    Today I cocked up. I was meant to forward a fairly controversial yet funny email to my friends group but managed to send it to all contacts inculding my work colleagues, boss, most customers I deal with and worse still my parents who will wonder what planet I have descended from when they read it.


    Feel much better for getting that off my chest and invite fellow cock up merchants to post their stories below.

    This changes nothing.

    You are so sacked.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,395 ✭✭✭Dartz


    Today I cocked up...

    At the park, I tied the dog to the bumper of the car while getting stuff back in. Grand enough, I remembered the dog. Got the boot closed, everything alright. No National Lampoon here, I wasn't that stupid.

    It was only halfway home I noticed one of the neighbours kids was missing.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,195 ✭✭✭✭Michellenman


    PatF wrote: »
    Today I cocked up. Every day people the world over cock up, make mistakes, embarass themselves and hope nobody noticed.

    <snip>

    I noticed.


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  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,945 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    phasers wrote: »
    I'm learning to drive and I kept cutting out at traffic lights today. I'm sorry people behind me.

    Only learners stop at traffic lights.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    Tried to cut fairly long grass today with a crappy light flymo, cue smoke and wired noises. By By flymo.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,689 ✭✭✭Vain


    I farted and followed through.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,392 ✭✭✭TequilaMockingBird


    phasers wrote: »
    I'm learning to drive and I kept cutting out at traffic lights today. I'm sorry people behind me.


    Me too. Is "Road Rage" when you feel like getting out of the car and kicking yourself, then the car?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,069 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    I put too much water on my Pot Noodles =(


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    Vain wrote: »
    I farted and followed through.

    You're not alone there.

    Today I finally noticed my cockup. My crappy graphics card is overheating and locking up the pc.


  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,945 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    Me too. Is "Road Rage" when you feel like getting out of the car and kicking yourself, then the car?

    In all seriousness, the worst thing you can do when learning to drive is be put out because you feel like you are being too slow in doing something. You'll end up in a ditch that way. You just have yet to realise that everyone else on the road, in a car, moped, bike, on foot or in crutches is a total asshole hellbent on killing you.
    The very first time I drove to work on my own years ago, I ended up with the car half into a ditch, two wheels spinning in reverse in the air. Looked some tool. That was the last time I cocked up though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 25 PatF


    I noticed.

    Today I cocked up. I posted a thread on Boards about cocking up and managed to misspell embarrass. This was spotted by eagle eyed Michellenman who loving the irony of it posted for all to see. ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,759 ✭✭✭✭dlofnep


    I went to take a drink of my tea, but drank my glass of orange juice instead by accident.

    It doesn't sound like much, but when you're expecting tea and you get OJ - it's not a pleasant experience!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,677 ✭✭✭staker


    i left "www.<snip>.com" in my browsing history.
    my OH came home to access her youtube page:rolleyes:
    i blamed the brother, the little pervert


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 25 PatF


    staker wrote: »
    i left "www.<snip>.com" in my browsing history.
    my OH came home to access her youtube page:rolleyes:
    i blamed the brother, the little pervert


    Prize awarded for both meanings of cock up in one story.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    I was visiting my GFf's Ma and had a ripe one in the chamber.

    Despite my best efforts to unload with controlled evacuation, I blew the full chamber across the pewter in a fine mist.

    Took me a full roll of KS to recover the situation.

    Fcuked up badly:mad:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,195 ✭✭✭✭Michellenman


    PatF wrote: »
    Today I cocked up. I posted a thread on Boards about cocking up and managed to misspell embarrass. This was spotted by eagle eyed Michellenman who loving the irony of it posted for all to see. ;)

    You're welcome.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,953 ✭✭✭Vinta81


    Sat into the wrong car today outside B&Q. Didn't notice as the guy looked just like my Dad and when I asked him why we weren't moving..you can imagine what happened next when I actually turned to my right lol. This happened so quickly but it'll forever be imprinted on my Dad's mind as one of the funniest things he's ever seen :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    PatF wrote: »
    Today I cocked up. Every day people the world over cock up, make mistakes, embarass themselves and hope nobody noticed. But these mistakes should be confessed for the rest of the world to laugh at or indeed to say well that wasn't too bad here's what I did today. The beauty about the internet and it's relatively annonymous nature is that people can share their biggest mistakes and most embarrassing of moments in public yet in private.

    So here's a thread dedicated to cock ups you made today. Come in post your stupidity for all to judge. Cleanse your soul and feel better about it after. All confessions welcomed even if they're not embarrassing ( but if not embarassing make them whoppers :p )

    So my contribution to start things off ........

    Today I cocked up. I was meant to forward a fairly controversial yet funny email to my friends group but managed to send it to all contacts inculding my work colleagues, boss, most customers I deal with and worse still my parents who will wonder what planet I have descended from when they read it.


    Feel much better for getting that off my chest and invite fellow cock up merchants to post their stories below.

    I can't beat your's Paidín , you are the fcuking ACE of cock ups.

    FFS:D


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,391 ✭✭✭Captain-America


    I was going to make an erection joke but I wussed out.

    I guess you could say that was a cock up.


    :pac:


  • Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,927 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    I just burnt my toast. It was the last slice of bread in the house too :( I was really looking forward to that toast.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 25 PatF


    Vinta81 wrote: »
    Sat into the wrong car today outside B&Q. Didn't notice as the guy looked just like my Dad and when I asked him why we weren't moving..you can imagine what happened next when I actually turned to my right lol. This happened so quickly but it'll forever be imprinted on my Dad's mind as one of the funniest things he's ever seen :(

    LOL I once decided to give my Da a Father Ted style kick up the arse. He was leaning on a railing watching a football match in the local field. Don't ask me why I decided to I was only about 7 at the time and even though it was pre Father Ted my booting echoed Teds run and wallop. Bishop Brennans face was also echoed when the bloke who I had mistaken for my Da turned around wondering what the fcuk was going on.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,953 ✭✭✭Vinta81


    PatF wrote: »
    LOL I once decided to give my Da a Father Ted style kick up the arse. He was leaning on a railing watching a football match in the local field. Don't ask me why I decided to I was only about 7 at the time and even though it was pre Father Ted my booting echoed Teds run and wallop. Bishop Brennans face was also echoed when the bloke who I had mistaken for my Da turned around wondering what the fcuk was going on.

    lol. Bet your Dad thought it was bloody funny though! my Dad told everyone! :( I can laugh now, the poor guy probably thought I'd lost it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 25 PatF


    I never told him :D He'd have killed me for it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,763 ✭✭✭✭Crann na Beatha


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,738 ✭✭✭Naos


    Toots* wrote: »
    I just burnt my toast. It was the last slice of bread in the house too :( I was really looking forward to that toast.

    Be a man about it, scrape the burnt bit off with a knife and you're sorted.
    phasers wrote: »
    I'm learning to drive and I kept cutting out at traffic lights today. I'm sorry people behind me.

    Don't worry, despite popular belief, you are not holding up the whole world behind you ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,798 ✭✭✭Local-womanizer


    Vinta81 wrote: »
    Sat into the wrong car today outside B&Q. Didn't notice as the guy looked just like my Dad and when I asked him why we weren't moving..you can imagine what happened next when I actually turned to my right lol. This happened so quickly but it'll forever be imprinted on my Dad's mind as one of the funniest things he's ever seen :(

    An old women did the same thing in my car.Believe me it was as wierd for me as it was for her.It turned out she was walking home,but seen our car and thought it was her husbands car.Only when she sat in our car she realised she had walked to the shop.I couldent stop laughing for ages after.


  • Registered Users Posts: 611 ✭✭✭MonicaBing


    Well it'a not quite today that i cocked up but 3 weeks ago i mailed a parcel to the fella in Oz, he sez there's no sign of it coming but blamed it on snail mail An Post. Sooooooooooo, this morning the postie knocks on my door with a lovely parcel addressed to himself but with my address on it and the return address as the Oz one. Cue much head scratching n the post office and much piss taking at my door by the postie. So i paid the bones of €20 to post parcel to meself, nice on luv:o


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 182 ✭✭magenta73


    myself and a fellow workmate were looking at rude things on the internet in work and got a phone call from HQ to stop as it was a dangerous site and the main server could pick up a virus......we were very embarrsed:o


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,338 ✭✭✭✭Liam O


    I have a car one...A few weeks ago I was waiting at the bus stop and a Toyota Corolla went by and pulled over a few feet away. My uncle has a Toyota Corolla and I assumed he was stopping to give me a lift. I walked up and as I passed the back window I saw a kid in the back seat. I didn't know the kid but that didn't stop me from walking up and opening the front passenger door and finding some guy who wasn't my Uncle staring back at me with a bewildered look on his face. He looked at me and said 'Sorry, I was just stopping to take a call' and I mumbled something resembling sorry and walked away, totally embarrassed. I had only gotten 4 or 5 hours sleep the night before but that's no excuse...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 182 ✭✭magenta73


    LOL, liam o, that's a good one!:D


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,335 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Today? I posted to this thread. Now, where's my free bottle of body wash?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,660 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger


    I never make mistakes. I thought I did once but it turned out I was wrong.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 25 PatF


    Today? I posted to this thread. Now, where's my free bottle of body wash?

    Post the cock up and I can surely organise a sample palmolive sachet for ya !


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,813 ✭✭✭BaconZombie




  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,335 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    PatF wrote: »
    Post the cock up and I can surely organise a sample palmolive sachet for ya !
    Naaaaa, Palmolive is the cheap stuff! I want something that's grand for your skin and has a nice fragrance for when someone special gets up close and personal.:cool:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,677 ✭✭✭staker


    PatF wrote: »
    Prize awarded for both meanings of cock up in one story.

    OI SANTA CLAUS!!!
    WHERE'S ME FCUKIN BOIKE?


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