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Sex Buddy wants to do me bareback

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2

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    #32
    JohnHodge999
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭JohnHodge999


    Is the chance of the johnny splitting really a concern nowadays either?


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    #33
    foggy_lad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,373 ✭✭✭✭foggy_lad


    OP It shouldn't be too difficult for you to find someone else who will do more for you in bed than this nasty piece of work. Tell him to F**k Off Full Stop!


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    #34
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,912 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Mr.Frame wrote: »
    The word "clean" is used all the time by those who are infected with HIV,whether its the right word to use or not ,that's how uninfected people are called.
    If you are referring to me,, I have at no time treated or would treat anyone as "expendable".

    Its the wrong word to use. It stigmatises and offends.

    I accept that many who use it do not mean to be disparaging or offensive.

    I see this as a learning process. It wasn't something I was overtly aware of until a few months ago until I saw Rory O'Neill (aka panti) point out that to him as a person who is HIV positive it is very offensive. I then read more about the issue. I would have used it until then but now having gone through that learning process (of recognising that many HIV+ people find it offensive and reading more about the stigmatising meesages it sends out) I wouldnt use it.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #35
    Lobby Con Shine
    Registered Users Posts: 121 ✭✭Lobby Con Shine


    Is this not the Ploughing Championship thread?

    Seriously though, I came in to congratulate the OP on what must be the greatest thread title I've ever seen on Boards.

    I have nothing to add on the substantive issue.


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    #36
    ytre
    Registered Users Posts: 11 ✭ytre


    absolutely not, it could be the death sentence you weren't expecting


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    #37
    Dr. Shrike
    Registered Users Posts: 102 ✭✭Dr. Shrike


    It's really more of a thought experiment than an actual legal recommendation, but I think if you made it legally punishable to foolishly get HIV, it would probably cut the rates of infection more than it being illegal to knowingly pass it on.

    Obviously that's not going to happen, but I think it's fair to assume that the kind of people who would knowingly pass on HIV aren't going to be obsessing over the legal ramifications while their doing it.


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    #38
    the_syco
    Registered Users Posts: 37,295 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    looking for info wrote: »
    that he has tested negative
    Why did he go for a test in the first place, and how long ago was the test?
    Looking for info wrote: »
    The guy that tops me has assured me that he never has unprocted with anyone else
    How does he know that it feels "amazing" in that case? Bullsh|t, tbh. I'm thinking he got the test done shortly after doing it unprotected before, but it may have been within the 3-month window, and thus he's playing with your life.
    Looking for info wrote: »
    however im sure this happens all the time with guys who get it together, and alchol and or drugs are involved inhibitions are gone out the window
    And you'll have to wonder have said people gone to get a check done next day, or have they ever gotten checked out. Some people care about other peoples health, and some people want to watch the world burn.


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    #39
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,912 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    I've split the discussion on "clean" into a completely separate thread

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #40
    azezil
    Registered Users Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    Looking for info wrote: »
    its something i have to think about before engaging in it however im sure this happens all the time with guys who get it together, and alchol and or drugs are involved inhibitions are gone out the window

    So thanks all
    I've a friend who felt that way too, also said he preferred having sex without a condom. He has HIV now.
    the_syco wrote: »
    Why did he go for a test in the first place, and how long ago was the test?
    Sexually active people should be tested regularly, condoms don't protect against all forms of STDs and STIs.


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    #41
    Peregrinus
    Registered Users Posts: 26,150 ✭✭✭✭Peregrinus


    azezil wrote: »
    Sexually active people should be tested regularly, condoms don't protect against all forms of STDs and STIs.
    This.


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    #42
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hello All, OP here i Thanks for all the advice given on this thread.

    Anyway down to business, I went ahead with it on monday night last he used condom for most of it then before he came he asked was i ok to take it without condom , he took it off and went in bb and finshed off partialy inside and partially outside. Apoligies for using explict words

    Must admit it did heighten my excitement in anticipation of how it would feel my buddy loved it said it brings us to new sense of closeness

    Afterwards we just hugged and kissed

    I hope anybody here who was against this behavoiur will try and understand why i asked for info on this


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    #43
    Mongfinder General
    Registered Users Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General


    Looking for info wrote: »
    Hello All, OP here i Thanks for all the advice given on this thread.

    Anyway down to business, I went ahead with it on monday night last he used condom for most of it then before he came he asked was i ok to take it without condom , he took it off and went in bb and finshed off partialy inside and partially outside. Apoligies for using explict words

    Must admit it did heighten my excitement in anticipation of how it would feel my buddy loved it said it brings us to new sense of closeness

    Afterwards we just hugged and kissed

    I hope anybody here who was against this behavoiur will try and understand why i asked for info on this

    You're nuts, going in up the muck without a raincoat is madness nowadays. Have you gone to get tested? It mustn't have been that good if he pulled out while ejaculating.


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    #44
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    Looking for info wrote: »
    Hello All, OP here i Thanks for all the advice given on this thread.

    Anyway down to business, I went ahead with it on monday night last he used condom for most of it then before he came he asked was i ok to take it without condom , he took it off and went in bb and finshed off partialy inside and partially outside. Apoligies for using explict words

    Must admit it did heighten my excitement in anticipation of how it would feel my buddy loved it said it brings us to new sense of closeness

    Afterwards we just hugged and kissed

    I hope anybody here who was against this behavoiur will try and understand why i asked for info on this

    I missed this but I would strongly recommend you both go get tested.


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    #45
    J_E
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,734 ✭✭✭J_E


    Looking for info wrote: »
    Hello All, OP here i Thanks for all the advice given on this thread.

    I hope anybody here who was against this behavoiur will try and understand why i asked for info on this

    I can't really understand it if you basically disregarded it.


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    #46
    jobbridge4life
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    Get tested. Get tested now and never ever do this again. I have heard of two acquaintances, living in Dublin, both in there 20s who are now HIV+. Get tested now and never ever do this again.


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    #47
    WILL NEVER LOG OFF
    Registered Users Posts: 138 ✭✭WILL NEVER LOG OFF


    I can understand the anger to an extent but I think people are going a bit far in rounding on the op and the op's sexual partner.

    Based on my male friends who are gay, unprotected sex is something many young gay men have engaged in. Maybe even most of them. Maybe even most of the men on this thread.

    I think the OP was foolish, but i'm not going to sit in judgment or attack him. I dont have that entitlement . Even if this is the internet and indignation is par for the course.


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    #48
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    WILL NEVER LOG OFF wrote: »
    I can understand the anger to an extent but I think people are going a bit far in rounding on the op and the op's sexual partner.

    Based on my male friends who are gay, unprotected sex is something many young gay men have engaged in. Maybe even most of them. Maybe even most of the men on this thread.

    I think the OP was foolish, but i'm not going to sit in judgment or attack him. I dont have that entitlement . Even if this is the internet and indignation is par for the course.

    I think some of is are just pretty disappointed that somebody would make the conscious choice to engage in such risky behaviour after asking for and being given all the relevant information.

    I realise mistakes will be made in the heat of the moment, and don't judge anybody but it's surprising that somebody who appeared to be concerned about the obvious risks knowkngky disregarded them.

    I think though the OP made up his mind before he ever posted the thread and was looking for validation for the decision.


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    #49
    Mr.Frame
    Registered Users Posts: 766 ✭✭✭Mr.Frame


    Looking for info wrote: »
    Hello All, OP here i Thanks for all the advice given on this thread.

    Anyway down to business, I went ahead with it on monday night last he used condom for most of it then before he came he asked was i ok to take it without condom , he took it off and went in bb and finshed off partialy inside and partially outside. Apoligies for using explict words

    Must admit it did heighten my excitement in anticipation of how it would feel my buddy loved it said it brings us to new sense of closeness

    Afterwards we just hugged and kissed

    I hope anybody here who was against this behavoiur will try and understand why i asked for info on this

    Bit odd why you asked for advice and then ignored it. Lets hope for your sake you don't have any STI's
    I would suggest you get tested immediately and well kop on


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    #50
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    There is nothing wrong with unprotected sex, it doesn't make someone a bad person deserving of scorn.

    Likewise there is nothing wrong with a person asking for advice and testing out if there maybe aspects to a tough decasino they not thought of.

    Just because a person in the cold light of day, after full and proper evaluation, decides not to go with a particular recommendation, it doesn't mean that they weren't open to being convinced.


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    #51
    WILL NEVER LOG OFF
    Registered Users Posts: 138 ✭✭WILL NEVER LOG OFF


    floggg wrote: »
    some of is are just pretty disappointed that somebody would make the conscious choice to engage in such risky behaviour after asking for and being given all the relevant information.
    Mr.Frame wrote: »
    Bit odd why you asked for advice and then ignored it. [...] kop on

    *every* young man who engages in unprotected sex knows the health risk, and almost all do it consciously.

    Nobody needs a discussion forum to discover the fact that HIV transmission is strongly associated with unprotected anal sex.

    People are far too quick to judge others online.

    I might give-out to my male friends who have unprotected sex, because I personally know and care about them. But some reactions here seem to be more matronly, or carpingly judgmental towards both parties, for the sake of it. He didn't take the advice, OK, but there's no need to take it as a personal insult.

    OP, please rethink this for your own and your partner's welfare.


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    #52
    jobbridge4life
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    WILL NEVER LOG OFF wrote: »
    *every* young man who engages in unprotected sex knows the health risk,

    Actually recent studies from America have demonstrated shockingly high levels of ignorance in young gay men about HIV, . I'd be beyond surprised if the same wasn't true here or perhaps even worse.
    WILL NEVER LOG OFF wrote: »
    and almost all do it consciously.

    Eh... considering the state of sobriety a lot of people engage in sex, in, I don't know how accurate that statement is.
    WILL NEVER LOG OFF wrote: »
    Nobody needs a discussion forum to discover the fact that HIV transmission is strongly associated with unprotected anal sex.

    Perhaps not, but they may need to be reminded, certainly it can't hurt.
    WILL NEVER LOG OFF wrote: »
    People are far too quick to judge others online.

    True but to be frank most of what has been posted is just stern warnings to get tested and avoid future risky behaviour. Seems reasonable to me.
    WILL NEVER LOG OFF wrote: »
    I might give-out to my male friends who have unprotected sex, because I personally know and care about them. But some reactions here seem to be more matronly, or carpingly judgmental towards both parties, for the sake of it. He didn't take the advice, OK, but there's no need to take it as a personal insult.

    Are people taking it as a personal insult or are they simply disappointed that another member of our community may now be at risk of HIV and 'becoming another statistic'
    WILL NEVER LOG OFF wrote: »
    OP, please rethink this for your own and your partner's welfare.

    Agreed. 100% Agreed.


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    #53
    azezil
    Registered Users Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil


    A test might not show up the virus yet. But if you're at all concerned you should get a PEP shot within the first 72hrs after the incident.


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    #54
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,912 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    WILL NEVER LOG OFF wrote: »
    *every* young man who engages in unprotected sex knows the health risk, and almost all do it consciously.

    Any research to back that up or prove it?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #55
    diograis
    Registered Users Posts: 435 ✭✭diograis


    As a young gay man I am genuinely horrified reading this, wish I hadn't.

    My god :(


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    #56
    jobbridge4life
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    diograis wrote: »
    As a young gay man I am genuinely horrified reading this, wish I hadn't.

    My god :(

    Don't be horrified. Be smart, be safe.

    Between Pep, Truvada and of course condoms the future will be better.


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    #57
    ninty9er
    Registered Users Posts: 9,366 ✭✭✭ninty9er


    azezil wrote: »
    A test might not show up the virus yet. But if you're at all concerned you should get a PEP shot within the first 72hrs after the incident.

    Better hope you're in the UK or Ireland. Despite most people thinking we have a developing world health system, try having a condom split overseas and you'd be appalled by the lack of medical knowledge, and thereafter availability of PEP after doing all the legwork for the doctor.


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    #58
    WILL NEVER LOG OFF
    Registered Users Posts: 138 ✭✭WILL NEVER LOG OFF


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    Any research to back that up or prove it?
    let me re-phrase it. the amount of men who engage in unprotected sex AND are unaware of HIV risk is so small as to be statistically insignificant.

    Or do you really believe the OP needed you guys to tell him about HIV?

    I have personal opinions about the OP's behaviour , but i don't think attacking him on a bulletin board is likely to bring him round to my viewpoint , dont you agree?


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    #59
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,912 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    WILL NEVER LOG OFF wrote: »
    let me re-phrase it. the amount of men who engage in unprotected sex AND are unaware of HIV risk is so small as to be statistically insignificant.

    Or do you really believe the OP needed you guys to tell him about HIV?

    I have personal opinions about the OP's behaviour , but i don't think attacking him on a bulletin board is likely to bring him round to my viewpoint , dont you agree?

    I dont think the op was attacked tbh. In particular you seemed to suggest he was attacked after he came back. He wasn't.

    I think everyone has some tiny knowledge about HIV and STIs. The question is how much knowledge. I personally find a lot of younger people shockingly ignorant of the risks. The rise of HIV amongst men who have sex with men in Ireland tells that story.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #60
    Mongfinder General
    Registered Users Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭Mongfinder General


    The question for the OP now is - Will he have unprotected sex with another man other than his buddy?


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    #61
    Rotunda Shill
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 212 ✭✭Rotunda Shill


    From someone that is HIV+ do not go down that road.


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