Male Affection

WindSock · 03-02-2010 4:24pm #1

I know it's a totally different culture, but when I was in South East Asia, I noticed a lot of the boys and men holding hands or linking arms or had their arms around each other as friends. (not boys & men with each other to clarify, just their mates/family of the same age group)
What do you think of this? Have you ever felt that affection toward your friends or would you be afraid to be thought of as gay?

c - 13 · 03-02-2010 4:32pm

Living in the middle east its very common. Particularly amongst the Arab and the Indian communities. Not uncommon to see lads holding hands walking around and the like (Friends just to double clarify). Thought it a bit odd at first but soon accustomed to it.

I don't have any issue with it myself, no different to giving your mate a hug when your pissed (as is the norm at home) or the like, just these guys are much more open about friendship than we're used to back home.

DazMarz · 03-02-2010 4:53pm

Jesus, all the lads in college that I hang out with are forever hugging each other when they meet up! I'm more traditional/conservative/misanthropic so I leave it at a handshake!:D

Hazys · 03-02-2010 7:13pm

Hunging is pretty normal but 2 lads who are not romantically involved holding hands, that would be a bit weird.

Holding hands is something couples do. I know you'd see the odd group of girls holding hands walking around town but its still a bit weird if they are friends.

Latchy · 03-02-2010 8:25pm

It was quite common in previous generations of British /Irish boys around 9 to 11 years of age to show more physical affection with their pals ie, walking with arms around shoulders but then most young boys at that age are in the main , hetrosexual , not yet into puberty or discovering the opposite sex , and not programmed as such as to what is / isin't cool to do

Now, at same age, it might be seen as being quite ghey but we live in different times, with more peer pressures at much younger age than ever , although hugging on greeting your male pals is quite the norm .

Will · 04-02-2010 12:32am

In france if you are really good mates with a guy you sorta touch cheeks off each other, customary to do it to any female friend or new acquaintance. Thought the place was full of gay guys but was soon set right. Did it once or twice to close male friends there, was no big deal really.

Comfortable with who I am, have no issue hugging a close male friend either if i've not seen em in aages. I think it tightens the bond

Red Hand · 04-02-2010 1:37am

I don't hug or any of that with anybody I know. The most would be a handshake, if even that. A short wave, or nod...or just making my eyebrows jump is enough for a greeting.:pac:

Snowie · 04-02-2010 2:45am

Jeremiah 33 3 wrote: »

I don't hug or any of that with anybody I know. The most would be a handshake, if even that. A short wave, or nod...or just making my eyebrows jump is enough for a greeting.:pac:

So You dont even hug your old man when you see him... I do,,,,

Star Lord · 04-02-2010 1:52pm

I've no problems with hugging mates, and do it quite often. I would never hold hands with another fella, no matter how close we were, but then again, I wouldn't hold hands with close female mates either!

Otis Driftwood · 04-02-2010 2:39pm

No problem hugging mates I havnt seen in a while,for regular mates it will either be a hand shake or a salute.
Holding hands with another man though would be just too darn weird for me.

The Corinthian · 04-02-2010 3:46pm

It is commonplace in most cultures, although to what degree varies. Anglophone culture frowns upon it largely because any shows of affection with anyone were purged during the Victorian period, and are only slowly returning now.

Red Hand · 04-02-2010 5:13pm

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

So You dont even hug your old man when you see him... I do,,,,

Well, I did when I was a child...hugged both my parents, but he isn't alive anymore.

CDfm · 04-02-2010 6:23pm

My old man or close male or female relatives would get a hug but q manly hug rather than a cuddle.

Usually, with close male friends there may be backslapping or firm handshakes. The handshake is a big thing with some of my friends.

Davidius · 05-02-2010 12:43am

I don't really see why I'd want to hug another man. Honestly anything beyond a handshake comes across as uncomfortable and a bit alien to me.

OldGoat · 05-02-2010 9:19am

I'm partial to big bear manly hugs and have been known to kiss friends for who are comfortable with that sign of affection - though that does tend to be only gay friends.
Arm around the shoulder only in a quick huggy way or when drunkenly chanting rugby songs in teh pub is still a common occurance for me.

But as for hand-holding, meh, perhaps if I lived where it was more socially accepted I'd get comfortable with it but here? No.

As a bit of a social experiment, or simply because I'm bored, I'm gonna hold hands with someone this weekend just to see how it feels and what kind of reaction we get...if I can find a willing partner.

That could be an ice-breaker at a Beers!

CDfm · 05-02-2010 10:29am

Will -set up a tatoos and piercing beers -OG is being very open minded just now who knows what might happen this weekend

Star Lord · 05-02-2010 10:39am

CDfm wrote: »

Will -set up a tatoos and piercing beers -OG is being very open minded just now who knows what might happen this weekend

Lets make it happen... I can see Will and OG strolling hand in hand down O'Connell St...

then going to get pierced together...

CDfm · 05-02-2010 10:52am

DamoElDiablo wrote: »

Lets make it happen... I can see Will and OG strolling hand in hand down O'Connell St...

then going to get pierced together...

This is good - and the piercings?

OldGoat · 05-02-2010 11:02am

And a pair of handsomer friends you couldn't hope to meet.

What could be nicer then strolling along a thouroughfare, shooting the breeze, commenting on life, peoplewatching and bonding with yer bud?
I only hope he has a manly handhold and not one of those limp flacid wishywashy deadfish handholds.

Mind you, those Tattoo & Piercing folk tend to be a liberal bunch and they'd not see much amiss with two men holding hands. An AH Beers could be more of a challange. :rolleyes:

Star Lord · 05-02-2010 11:09am

OldGoat wrote: »

I only hope he has a manly handhold and not one of those limp flacid wishywashy deadfish handholds.

Will is a cod cad, and would probably slap your lady friends in the face upon meeting them for the first time!

OldGoat · 05-02-2010 11:20am

DamoElDiablo wrote: »

Will is a cod cad, and would probably slap your lady friends in the face upon meeting them for the first time!

:eek:
I'd buy ringside seats for that event. Mrs.Goat has the username of 'Mis Treat' for a reason.

Star Lord · 05-02-2010 11:39am

He received a number of slaps back for it previously, when I witnessed such uncouth behaviour!

CDfm · 05-02-2010 1:40pm

But at the time wasn't Will getting all spiritual and trying to get Karma

Star Lord · 05-02-2010 2:03pm

Haha, no this occured in that other place of spirits, Fibbers!

OldGoat · 05-02-2010 2:10pm

I've talked to some friends about this thread and the strongest reactions against the idea of handholding in public stems from the gay quarter. (NOTE: Very very small sample group here but I'll continue to ask over the next week or so)
The queer contingent (their phrase not mine) seemed to think that handholding is their perogative and straight men should not be allowed to. :rolleyes:

CDfm · 05-02-2010 2:13pm

OldGoat wrote: »

The queer contingent (their phrase not mine) seemed to think that handholding is their perogative and straight men should not be allowed to. :rolleyes:

Who do they think they are -feminists?

:eek: Runs for cover

Khannie · 05-02-2010 2:47pm

Had an oul' sea change on physical contact with males after training in Thailand. They just don't consider touch being anything other than an affirmation of friendship.

In between rounds you'd get a rub down and if they thought you looked too hot they'd pull your shorts out and dump a load of water on your nethers.

Not sure I'd go as far as holding hands with a male friend myself. Had to hold myself back from battering some teenage gobsh*te on the street once who made a joke about myself and my son holding hands. He never held my hand again after it. :mad:

Star Lord · 05-02-2010 3:46pm

OldGoat wrote: »

The queer contingent (their phrase not mine) seemed to think that handholding is their perogative and straight men should not be allowed to. :rolleyes:

Equal rights? Sounds like they want special rights for some things! :rolleyes:
Saying that, I don't think I've ever even seen my gay friends holding hands with someone in public, probably best to avoid the wrath of the angry hordes that would like to do away with 'that kind of thing'.

Khannie wrote: »

Not sure I'd go as far as holding hands with a male friend myself. Had to hold myself back from battering some teenage gobsh*te on the street once who made a joke about myself and my son holding hands. He never held my hand again after it. :mad:

Ah man, that's bloody awful!

Hope that... lout has to endure the same heartbreak when it comes to his turn to be a father.

stovelid · 05-02-2010 4:20pm

I hug my male friends in greeting all the time, and sometimes kiss them on the cheek in the same context.

Obviously, I hug and kiss my son and hold his hand if we're out as well.

Reflector · 05-02-2010 4:30pm

OldGoat wrote: »

I've talked to some friends about this thread and the strongest reactions against the idea of handholding in public stems from the gay quarter. (NOTE: Very very small sample group here but I'll continue to ask over the next week or so)
The queer contingent (their phrase not mine) seemed to think that handholding is their perogative and straight men should not be allowed to. :rolleyes:

Oh please, are you serious, if it was normal to hold hands than sure gay guys could than walk down the street arm in arm without some little knacker pointing and calling you a fag.

Irish men are terrible when it comes to affection. I am the same as when my friends hug me I used to feel a bit weird. I think its nice and affirms friendships and it's not a sexual thing so no need to feel weird about it.

Snowie · 05-02-2010 5:21pm

Jeremiah 33 3 wrote: »

Well, I did when I was a child...hugged both my parents, but he isn't alive anymore.

sorry if i came accross brash or anything... i just ment it well. i dell like a DICK:o

Agricola · 07-02-2010 12:09pm

If I ever do any hugging it would be if i was meeting someone I hadnt seen in awhile, (when my uncle comes over from England) or maybe at a family funeral!
Thats about it really! Anything else seems exessive.

I remember watching a football match with a friend of a friend who was very touchy feely. When there was a goal he leapt up and started bear hugging us. I sat back down afterwards looking sheepish and stretching my shirt collar!

nkay1985 · 09-02-2010 12:30am

I have no problem with male on male hugging but I think hand-holding is a different thing in our culture. It's seen as a sign of affection rather than a sign of friendship and there's nothing wrong with that.

Different cultures have different boundaries for certain things. I don't think it necessarily makes a country more or less progressive, just different.

alex73 · 09-02-2010 10:52pm

WindSock wrote: »

I know it's a totally different culture, but when I was in South East Asia, I noticed a lot of the boys and men holding hands or linking arms or had their arms around each other as friends. (not boys & men with each other to clarify, just their mates/family of the same age group)
What do you think of this? Have you ever felt that affection toward your friends or would you be afraid to be thought of as gay?

Lived in the south of Italy and its rude from a Man not to show affection to other men in the form of a Hug and kissing when you meet them. Its nothing to do with being gay, its culture and seen as such. At the beginning its really strange, in Ireland you pat a guy on the shoulder and thats as far as it goes, but in other countries is a big hug and kiss on 2 cheeks and to hold a guys arms is nothing strange.

SeekUp · 11-02-2010 1:26am

Khannie wrote: »

Not sure I'd go as far as holding hands with a male friend myself. Had to hold myself back from battering some teenage gobsh*te on the street once who made a joke about myself and my son holding hands. He never held my hand again after it. :mad:

CDfm · 11-02-2010 1:32am

SeekUp wrote: »

funnily enough at 7 my son just stopped and we were crossing the road when he was 9 and his hand went out and he said it felt right sometimes

kids grow up

But it does make you want to get a bunch of people together and go to temple bar and throw rotten fruit at david mcsavage

Male Affection

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