Too early for semi-expensive gift?

LegacyUser · 01-10-2014 11:00am #1

Hi Guys, Im visiting a girl that I've been close friends with for 2 years, and our relationship has recently gone on to more than friends. It's her 30th Birthday next week, and if this was just some stranger I'd just started seeing I would only get them something small and thoughtful.

However we've been very close for 2 years, and it's a landmark birthday, so I was going to get her a nice pendant necklace around €200ish for it? We're not strictly a couple yet but that may change v. soon.

Does that sound a bit much? I don't think so but a female friend (who she doesn't know) says otherwise. I don't want to come on too eager and scare her off a little. Any help appreciated. Thanks

01-10-2014 11:01am

200 seems an awful lot if you're not even a couple yet. Leave that for an xmas gift if you really want to get it for her and you're together a few months by then, and get something smaller for now

indigo twist · 01-10-2014 11:07am

I think it might be a bit too much too soon. I'd suggest maybe tickets for a show or concert or something, and dinner beforehand? If you're hoping it's going to develop into a relationship, having a proper "date night" like that could help things along.

mapaca · 01-10-2014 11:19am

It's a bit too much, sorry! Stick with something small and thoughtful.

LegacyUser · 01-10-2014 11:58am

Hi OP,

It depends what your situation is. IF you are a student with and will be struggling to buy dinner for a month, then I would say do not get it, under any circumstances.

But, if you are not stuck for the cash, and it is something that you think she will really like, and appreciate, and you think the relationship is going somewhere serious. I think you should go ahead.
Its up to you really. It sounds like a lovely gift, that could be treasured as a beautiful memento in years to come.

dudara · 01-10-2014 12:46pm

It's about getting the right gift for the person. If the pendant is right for her, then I'd go ahead.

But, do you there if there's anything else she might value more? Jewellery is very hard to get right, and it would be a shame to spend €200 on something she might not terribly like.

Big Bag of Chips · 01-10-2014 1:10pm

Jewellery is something very very personal. And what you might think is a beautiful piece, she might think is "nice". And for €200 you'd be hoping for something more than "nice"!

I think €200 on essentially a friend's 30th birthday present is a bit steep! I'd think €200 on a wife's birthday present a bit steep but then again I'm not overly bothered by birthday or Christmas presents!!

Go for something small and thoughtful. Also if you spend that much now, she might feel like it's setting a precedent and she needs to spend similar on you! Play it safe this time round. Treat her at Christmas if you think it's appropriate.

Matteroffact · 01-10-2014 2:50pm

If you are going to give someone a gift in the line of jewelery, then you won't get anything decent for under 200 euro, so if you can afford it then go for it. Not many people would frown on an expensive item, but there are people who would not appreciate a cheap gift. If you want to be sure then go for the better item.

maryk123 · 01-10-2014 8:07pm

If you like it and you think she will like it and you are happy to pay for it get it. She will love it

Lalealynn · 01-10-2014 10:30pm

A wow present does not have to have a wow price tag.

' so I was going to get her a nice pendant necklace around €200ish for it? '

It doesn't sound like you have seen a present you know she would love and it just happens to cost that much. It sounds like you have a figure in your head of what you want to buy to show her you are serious. Am I correct?

Well you show someone you like them and that you are serious by the way you treat them. How about spending 50 euro and really SHOWING her what you feel and making some landmark memories on the day ? You don't have to spend so much to make a fuss if it's a lot of money to you.

My mother sometimes didn't have a lot of money to spend on gifts for my birthdays as a kid and she painted things for me.

And if it's not a lot of money at all for you then it's really not a special present then is it? If you are wealthy then it's more important to find a 'special' present like a shell you collected on the beach other silly stuff us girls like. And if it's a lot of money for you then she would not want you to spend it.

It's up to you in the end. I don't know if it's too much. Bear in mind she is not going to actually 'SEE' the price tag.

If you feel ok doing that then fine. But Johnny Depp brought Amanda Heard to a bookshop and bought books and got her flowers and chocolate. I think they are engaged I doubt it cost more than 100 euro. It's the fuss , the thought.

It's up to you though. Money is personal.

m'lady · 02-10-2014 12:33am

I wouldn't like someone to buy me a gift worth €200 if I wasn't in a relationship with them, it puts pressure on people to 'match' that price, and I'd also feel under some sort of obligation...

CaraMay · 02-10-2014 7:33am

I agree with m'lady. It's a lot of pressure to put on someone you aren't even going out with. She might feel like expensive presents are necessary if she is with you. A small gift and dinner somewhere she likes. It might cost the same but less pressure.

LegacyUser · 02-10-2014 9:34am

I roughly the same circumstances and timing, I bought her a pair of earrings with her birthstone for her birthday, then the matching pendant for Christmas. She loves them both and since they got gradually more expensive there was no pressure on her.. Made it easy for me for the following Valentine's Day too.

liz lemoncello · 02-10-2014 5:33pm

Another factor to consider is what precedent has already been set. Have you exchanged birthday presents before? If so, how much did you spend then? If you've never bought her a present before, or previously only spent spent a tenth of the cost of that necklace, then, yes, it is too much. And jewellery is a personal gift.

Too early for semi-expensive gift?

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