The Funny Side of Religion

The Mad Hatter · 22-01-2009 12:10pm

sionnach wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olKlFDN5dNk

Hilarious yet infuriating stuff.

I don't find that remotely funny...

Mena · 22-01-2009 12:11pm

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

I don't find that remotely funny...

In fact, to me at least, it looks like public and legal child abuse

sionnach · 22-01-2009 12:18pm

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

I don't find that remotely funny...

It has its moments. The herbivorous T-Rex and disregarding an exhibit as "a good fairytale but poor science" while they get their 'facts' from the greatest fairytale ever told were particularly amusing.

Galvasean · 22-01-2009 4:25pm

Somebody oughta teach them a lesson... BibliDino style!

Eglinton · 22-01-2009 8:30pm

sionnach wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olKlFDN5dNk

Hilarious yet infuriating stuff.

Incredibly infuriating but not hilarious. Child abuse, as mentioned previously.

22-01-2009 8:52pm

sionnach wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olKlFDN5dNk

Hilarious yet infuriating stuff.

That's disgusting.

23-01-2009 3:55pm

Not very funny, but they might get a laugh or two!

Hivemind187 · 25-01-2009 11:59am

http://awesomegodrave.ytmnd.com/

Someone linked me this ... the sad thing is I think I've danced like this myself.

Goduznt Xzst · 26-01-2009 5:46pm

The Mad Hatter · 27-01-2009 12:28am

From my favourite religious-themed webcomic

oeb · 27-01-2009 11:42am

Goduznt Xzst · 27-01-2009 1:47pm

Don't know if any of you listen to this guys videos. I find him excellent and have been following him for ages.

Here's his website:

http://www.patcondell.net/

and a full list of his videos:

http://godlesscomedy.blip.tv/posts?view=archive&nsfw=dc

Goduznt Xzst · 05-02-2009 2:42pm

Funny segment from yesterdays Colbert Report

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/217927/february-04-2009/yahweh-or-no-way---the-super-bowl

MrPudding · 05-02-2009 5:06pm

Goduznt Xzst wrote: »

Don't know if any of you listen to this guys videos. I find him excellent and have been following him for ages.

Here's his website:

http://www.patcondell.net/

and a full list of his videos:

http://godlesscomedy.blip.tv/posts?view=archive&nsfw=dc

Have a look at "take you god and shove it."

MrP

Overblood · 06-02-2009 11:43pm

George Carlin - Religion is Bullsh*t. Absolutley brilliant!:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o

Overblood · 07-02-2009 1:22am

What´s funny about the above video: If you type the word "Religion" into the searchbar in youtube, this is the first video that comes up!!! HAHAHA absolutley ROFL!!

mukki · 07-02-2009 11:00am

i am going to start a company with offices world wide!

and as a perk.....all emplyees get free board near where they work *

wish me luck

*to ensure high profilts i am going to enforce the fallowing rules

1) employes are not allowed to marry or have kids, and i get all their property when they die

2) my customers must use my services at least once a week

3) my customers must not use contraception.

4) customers must make sure their kids will use my service at least once a week too

5) service is something that customers (phisically) wont be able to report if they dont get it

Mickeroo · 07-02-2009 3:27pm

This looks like it could be pretty funny.

Also watched Religulous last week,very funny.

pinksoir · 07-02-2009 3:57pm

Mickeroo wrote: »

This looks like it could be pretty funny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE3_uHsHTgs

Also watched Religulous last week,very funny.

Fixed for you...

rainbow kirby · 07-02-2009 3:58pm

Mickeroo · 07-02-2009 4:01pm

pinksoir wrote: »

Fixed for you...

Thanks bud:o

rainbow kirby · 09-02-2009 11:44pm

How dirty minded are you? :pac:

Overblood · 10-02-2009 1:27am

According to the Bible, if you are hurt in the gonads, you can't get into heaven.

"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD."
--Deuteronomy 23:1-2

Mad eh?

tba · 10-02-2009 1:32am

Overblood wrote: »

According to the Bible, if you are hurt in the gonads, you can't get into heaven.

Mad eh?

I thought your thread in afterhours had great potential

Overblood · 10-02-2009 1:49am

Heheh, yeah I was getting ready to unleash that quote plus many others. Reading through passages of the bible just makes me think "wtf?" over and over and over again.

Try it. Start reading the bible on any page and it's not long before you come across pure insanity.

Galvasean · 10-02-2009 2:28am

Overblood wrote: »

According to the Bible, if you are hurt in the gonads, you can't get into heaven.

Mad eh?

Oh that's great. I get cancer, have to have one lobbed off, now I can't get into heaven. Sounds like God has it in for me.

No wonder I'm an atheist.

Overblood · 10-02-2009 2:37am

Don't mind getting a testicle lobbed off, the passage specifically said "wounded in the stones", so a slight bruise/blemish is enough to have you banished to hell. Very nice of the 'ol chap innit?

The Mad Hatter · 11-02-2009 12:25pm

Probably should go in the US Politics forum, but that place never fails to boil my blood.

Phototoxin · 14-02-2009 11:02pm

No Cod?

Scofflaw · 15-02-2009 12:00am

"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD."
--Deuteronomy 23:1-2

Hmm - I'd be more worried about the idea that if you have any ancestors born out of wedlock in the last 10 generations (up to your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents) you're pre-damned.

Also, I wonder if Bobbit qualifies or not?

cordially,
Scofflaw

rainbow kirby · 15-02-2009 12:15am

rainbow kirby · 15-02-2009 12:24am

Scofflaw · 15-02-2009 1:39am

Has this been posted before: christwire.org?

cordially,
Scofflaw

Hagar · 15-02-2009 2:46pm

Clip needs sound.

Link

Goduznt Xzst · 16-02-2009 1:00pm

Hagar wrote: »

Clip needs sound.

Link

I love Colbert

Goduznt Xzst · 16-02-2009 6:14pm

Overblood · 17-02-2009 2:58am

An Intelligent Design versus evolution board game. Fun for all the family!

http://www.livingwaters.com/index.php?page=shop.product_details&flypage=flypage.tpl&product_id=201&category_id=13&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=199

(I think this is actually real)

Goduznt Xzst · 17-02-2009 11:58am

If Atheists Were the Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go **** a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men ****ing each other in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!
The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!
THE END
Scary, isn't it? If you believe that, its even more scary

Some other good links from that site that I thought where good:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Atheism

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Atheist_Doctrine

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Reasons_to_become_an_atheist/the_sensible_version

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Christianity

robindch · 17-02-2009 1:38pm

Goduznt Xzst wrote: »

Some other good links from that site [...]

From the article on christian logic:

Some guy wrote:

When interpreting the bible, it's important to remember that all the stories are supposed to be taken literally except for the ones which are not supposed to be (an example of this is when the Bible says the earth was created in six days). One can determine what parts are literal by relying on an intricate analysis system that consists of guessing, thinking about it picking out what is convenient for you or seems nice and dandy, taking a bit or more of what your parents told you when you were a young child, or what one of your christian friends tells you is definitely true for sure, or best of all, what's shouted at you in a big building in the big voice of a big man who is thumping his pulpit and asking for you for donations for the lord. Also all parts of the Bible are true until it becomes obvious that they aren't and then a miracle happens and they immediately become things that were never meant to be taken literally to start with.

Overblood · 17-02-2009 3:59pm

One of the best cases against God (pretty funny too) by astrophysicist Neil De Grasse Tyson:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_nqySMvkcw

Dades · 17-02-2009 4:44pm

^^ That is good! ^^

I note Dawkins in the audience, and watched this clip which is from the same event. Interesting as what Tyson has to say, the last line is the funniest thing I've ever heard Dawkins say.

If that don't work:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_2xGIwQfik

Overblood · 17-02-2009 10:29pm

Dades wrote: »

I note Dawkins in the audience, and watched this clip which is from the same event. Interesting as what Tyson has to say, the last line is the funniest thing I've ever heard Dawkins say.

I kept on rewinding that bit over and over again it was so funny!!

"If you don't agree you can fachaff!"

mukki · 18-02-2009 9:50am

thou shault not take the lords name in vain

translation

God and Jesus are trademarks of the Catholic Church LTD.

its a bit like if microsoft said you can't complain about windows

or kellogs if said you must like all bran

robindch · 19-02-2009 2:35am

A report written by 95-year old chap in the Vatican's Department of the Bleedin' Obvious has suggested that women are more prideful than men who are hornier than women.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7897034.stm

"Men and women sin in different ways", explained a different guy.

rainbow kirby · 20-02-2009 12:31am

The Mad Hatter · 20-02-2009 11:23am

Behold...The Atheist Apocalypse in all its mightiness.

robindch · 23-02-2009 1:02pm

In the latest in a long string of shocking appeasements and sell-outs, the UK's Telegraph has "reported" that another muslim-centered religious "argument" has blown up in the UK. This time, it's over where libraries should put people's holybooks.

Symbolically demonstrating the different memetic approaches of the two religions, Muslims want their holybook on the highest bookshelf and above everything else, while christians want their own particular holybook to be lower down and within reach of everybody. Apparently, some believers have been running around bookstores moving the books around the place according to their religious beliefs.

Way to go lads.

Dades · 23-02-2009 1:14pm

I suppose I'd be stating the obvious that the only fair solution is to have them displayed alphabetically in the fantasy section.

robindch · 23-02-2009 2:55pm

Dades wrote: »

I suppose I'd be stating the obvious that the only fair solution is to have them displayed alphabetically in the fantasy section.

Oh, that they were filed in the bin.

oeb · 24-02-2009 11:58am

This website came up on a stumble today, I really liked this post though

Seems to me that Christians worship the incredible shrinking god. I mean at one time it was supposedly capable of flinging thousands of billions of galaxies into existence with a mere thought. By the time of Noah, it was reduced to flooding an insignificant speck in the cosmos. By the time of Moses, its best trick was moving a tiny portion of a minor sea aside for a short while. By the time of Jesus, it has to send a delegate on its behalf who leaves behind only rumors that he was able to turn water into another beverage, or render himself extra buoyant. Now it counts as a miracle if a water stain grows mold that kind of looks like a bearded face which could be claimed to resemble this supposed delegate. How much more pathetic can this god get? How do Christians manage to sing praises of its glory and greatness without feeling like fools--or at best, like new parents gushing over their toddler's ability to make a pee. -- Kronk

The Funny Side of Religion

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