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Just pressed the 'publish' button. Here's a sample

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  • 12-12-2014 12:06am
    #1
    ch750536
    Registered Users Posts: 3,736 ✭✭✭


    It's a pretty hardcore sci-fi for kids influenced by Asimov, Bradbury & Herbert. 20,000 words, illustrated, target 7-14. Reading age is low but comprehension is tough (purposely). Part 1 of 5 books, book 2 underway. Self published on Amazon, out 23rd Dec.

    The first day
    Sometimes when something odd happens to something normal it changes that thing. Like putting a hat on a dog, or putting your bike on the roof of the house. It’s still a dog and it’s still a bike, yet something makes you look at these things in a different way. Perhaps you laugh at the dog or wonder about the bike… but they are still the same. Maybe it is the roof that’s funny.
    The first day of summer break is odd. It’s a Saturday, so it’s just like any other Saturday. This one isn’t though. On Monday you don’t go to school. Somehow that makes the Saturday different. This one’s special, it’s more fun. It’s the beginning.
     
    Chapter 1: A promise breaks
    Thousands of legs were walking over him. Hundreds of knives were cutting him.
    Jack woke and pulled back the sheets as he scanned the room. It's a nightmare he has every night. Always the same feeling of legs walking all over him. The blades. The wings.


Comments

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    #2
    Ficheall
    Registered Users Posts: 9,021 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    I hope those apostrophes don't look like that in the book. Maybe it's just my display, but the font seems irritatingly off.


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    #3
    Das Kitty
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 17,231 Mod ✭✭✭✭Das Kitty


    Looks grand to me.

    Where did you publish, OP?


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    #4
    EileenG
    Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭EileenG


    Okay, got a few major problems.

    For one thing, very few kids aged 7-14 have even heard of Asimov, Bradbury or Herbert, never mind actually read or been influenced by them. I just asked my daughters, aged 14 and 16, and neither had heard of any of them.

    Also, 7-14 is way too big a gap. Something that is suitable for a 7 year old is not suitable for a 14 year old. What book that is being read by children THIS century is your book most like?

    Chapter one is fine, but the prologue is pointless. You are doing that author-talking-to-the-reader thing which is annoying for anyone over five.

    Book one of five is ringing alarm bells. Does this mean that book one does not stand alone, with a thrilling climax and a satisfying ending? Or does it trail off, waiting for book two to continue the story?

    What is the picture?


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    #5
    ch750536
    Registered Users Posts: 3,736 ✭✭✭ch750536


    Thanks for the feedback guys. I've gone with the Amazon 90 day exclusive to start with. Already submitted to google play and smash but will stick to the 90 day rule (so end march for those).

    My influences don't need to be known to the reader, I was just letting you guys know. ;)

    I wrote this with the intention of parents reading it to kids rather than kids reading themselves. I've tested the age ranges for this and it works fine. Obviously a 14 yr old gets through this in 2 hrs reading it themselves but still had great feedback.


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    #6
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,309 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Ficheall wrote: »
    I hope those apostrophes don't look like that in the book. Maybe it's just my display, but the font seems irritatingly off.

    Yeah

    it’s vs it's


    the chapter 1 thing needs a bit more description than 2 lines before jumping to "btw it's a nightmare" I think
    You're mixing tenses as well: jack woke/scanned the room, when everything else is present tense


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    #7
    EileenG
    Registered Users Posts: 5,775 ✭✭✭EileenG


    ch750536 wrote: »

    I wrote this with the intention of parents reading it to kids rather than kids reading themselves. I've tested the age ranges for this and it works fine. Obviously a 14 yr old gets through this in 2 hrs reading it themselves but still had great feedback.

    How did you test it?

    There is a huge difference between a story that parents will read to a child and one they will read themselves.

    You've enrolled in KDP select. How are 7 year olds going to find your story? I haven't met a parent yet who sits by the bedside at night reading their kindle to their kids.


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    #8
    ch750536
    Registered Users Posts: 3,736 ✭✭✭ch750536


    EileenG wrote: »
    How did you test it?

    There is a huge difference between a story that parents will read to a child and one they will read themselves.

    You've enrolled in KDP select. How are 7 year olds going to find your story? I haven't met a parent yet who sits by the bedside at night reading their kindle to their kids.

    Here's to changing the world hopefully!


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