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Advice on how to proceed with crush on friend please!

  • 25-04-2015 9:03pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm a 26 year old female who started a new career 18 months ago and made a great group of new friends both male and female through my training. We are very close now and meet a lot. I became single a few months in. A few months ago we went on a group holiday and I kissed one of the guys on a night out. While prior to this I didn't think about him as anything but a friend, I wasn't sorry it happened and realised I really like him. However the rest of our friends made such a laugh of it, teasing etc that we both retreated and the kiss didn't lead to anything. I felt he was friend zoning me so didn't pursue it for fear of ruining the dynamic in the group.

    Then 2 weeks ago it happened again. We ended up alone without the gang on a night out and he went for it and we kissed and it was so nice. We then had a chat in which he mentioned thinking he felt vibes between us at times for months, and he mentioned certain times at which, thinking back, we had been flirty. I was delighted. However, our friends found out and have been teasing us relentlessly since, in a good natured way. We are in a 3 month course all together at the moment so I see him every day and he's just acting like nothing happened and hasn't made a move on nights out or texted or anything. He's not avoiding me either though and is friendly as ever.

    Should I write it off? He might be shy because our friends are causing a fuss or he might just not want more. However he might also wonder the same about me because I've been playing it cool. Should I ask him what's up or is that too forward? Would it be foolish to ask one of the other guys in the group for advice since he might have more insight into what this guy thinks? I'd hate to cause awkwardness in our group but I feel like this could really be something and doing nothing is frustrating! All advice very appreciated, thanks!!


Comments

  • #2
    retro:electro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    Your friends need to grow up. If you like each other then get together, it's as simple as that. Seriously how old are they?


  • #3
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    How did your friends find out? They seem very immature but in fairness you two do seem very young. If you want more then I wouldn't end up in that position again as you are likely to get caught in the rut of kissing and nothing happening. Don't involve anyone else. If they are immature enough to tease you then they are not mature enough to give you advice. On top of they they are work colleagues and really shouldn't be providing romantic advice.


  • #4
    shalalala
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,710 ✭✭✭shalalala


    If you can handle being knocked back and still seeing him every day and acting like a mature adult with him within your friendship group, I would say go for it. But that is really harder said then done!


  • #5
    gsi300024v
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,059 ✭✭✭gsi300024v


    Can't you go meet up together alone? Can say it's to study course work or something, see what happens, handy to chat while not drunk and horny or surround by the others.


  • #6
    December2012
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    Can you text or ring him and ask to meet up on your own?

    Just don't tell your friends.


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  • #7
    LadyAthame
    Closed Accounts Posts: 793 ✭✭✭LadyAthame


    I would advise you never to get anyone else involved in your relationships with others. Don't ask for help. He seems too cool for school. It was a kiss and he talked about how you flirted. Tell your friends to stop it. I think he sees it as casual though.


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