Fast moving?

Lorrs33 · 18-02-2008 12:49pm #1

I know I'm a regular poster on this, but here it goes anyway. I met a guy at the 30 Seconds to Mars concert on the 25th January. He took my number afterwards and we've been texting each other everyday ever since. We agreed to meet up on my week off college, which was last week. Then later, we admitted we liked each other. We met up last Tuesday, very briefly, and not a word was said about our feelings. Then later he texted me, revealing he wanted to ask me out, so he did.

We had already arranged to go to the cinema on Valentine's Day, so that was our 1st official date. It went really well. I'm trying not to think of all the implications involved, such as us living far apart, but there's one thing that's bothering me. On Bebo, he changed his status to 'In A Relationship', the day after our date. I was going to change mine to 'Seeing Someone'. I've never had a proper boyfriend before and so I'm concerned that maybe we're moving quite fast. My friend told me he should really have asked me to be his girlfriend first, but, like me, he's quite shy. I can't imagine even texting him, asking him what the story is.

Just to clarify, I do really like him, I keep thinking that maybe it's because I'm not used to this. But I just wanted some advice.

meremortal · 18-02-2008 12:55pm

The EXACT same thing happened to my friend! She also panicked a bit, but when she approached him about it he said that he had it as "single" and wanted to take that down and that all the other options were weird "down for anything" etc, I think there is a way of just deleting it but not many people may know that.
Basically, I wouldnt worry, it sounds like its going well and he sounds like a decent guy. Just go with the flow and enjoy yourself!!!!

Marksie · 18-02-2008 12:56pm

why dont you talk to him and ask why he considers it a realtionship.

Even that seeing somone would be a better idea as its early days.
I have seen people go into relationship mode withning 1o minutes of firts meeting.

It juts needs a little communication and clarification (ps. thjats is what 90% of relationship based issed boil down to anyways :-)

seamus · 18-02-2008 12:58pm

In Ireland, when you ask someone out and they accept, you are officially their girlfriend/boyfriend.

Generally people here don't go by American rules where you "date" whole pile of people at the same time and then decide who you like best.

What's the difference between "In a relationship" and "seeing someone" anyway? Are they not the same thing, just said differently? Neither way is a sentence - just because he calls it a "relationship" is no need to freak out - you're not engaged! I wouldn't say you're moving particularly fast anyway. It was 3 weeks before you actually became a couple.

Quick word of advice - avoid listening to your mates, particularly on the nuances of relationships. Every relationship is different and your mates are guessing exactly like you are, so they can give their opinion but they're probably not right.

biko · 18-02-2008 12:59pm

It probably means nothing. Just ask him jokingly in person next time you see him. He was probably dying to change it from Single

Balmed Out · 18-02-2008 1:01pm

Ye are im assuming both fairly young and new to the whole dating world so why be bothered. You like him, he likes you, big deal. Dont read too much into it and at the end of the day how bad? at least u know he likes you and isnt just saying it to get his wicked way.

misswex · 18-02-2008 3:10pm

seamus wrote: »

In Ireland, when you ask someone out and they accept, you are officially their girlfriend/boyfriend.

Generally people here don't go by American rules where you "date" whole pile of people at the same time and then decide who you like best.

What's the difference between "In a relationship" and "seeing someone" anyway? Are they not the same thing, just said differently? Neither way is a sentence - just because he calls it a "relationship" is no need to freak out - you're not engaged! I wouldn't say you're moving particularly fast anyway. It was 3 weeks before you actually became a couple.

Quick word of advice - avoid listening to your mates, particularly on the nuances of relationships. Every relationship is different and your mates are guessing exactly like you are, so they can give their opinion but they're probably not right.

This is the best advice your going to get!

HighburyHill · 18-02-2008 3:46pm

important to remember: it is only Bebo.

My gf takes bebo too seriously too.

i wouldnt worry about anything on a social networking site, and certainly wouldnt let it jeapordise a potentially good relationship. Dont worry, relax and go with the flow.

dudara · 18-02-2008 5:19pm

Since when did Bebo start to define relationships?

The only way to find out where you stand with him is to ask him, preferably face to face, or over the telephone. (In my view, texting is only for telling someone that you're running 5 minutes late, definitely not for relationship matters).

davyjose · 18-02-2008 5:53pm

Marksie wrote: »

why dont you talk to him and ask why he considers it a realtionship.

Even that seeing somone would be a better idea as its early days.

Marksie, this would probably put even more focus on what seems to be a minor detail.
OP, just take it at the speed you want, and enjoy yourself, rather than checking yourself every step of the way. Go wiith the flow a bit more.

LegacyUser · 18-02-2008 8:27pm

Yeah I really don't see the point in asking him why he considers it a relationship because it will probably be the most stupid question you ever ask...I can't imagine him taking you seriously after that one. However, maybe what is bothering you a bit is the fact that already the guy seems a bit clingy or desperate i.e. changing status on bebo so fast etc...or maybe he is just blunt and to the point...but this doesn't match his character if he is shy...

I'd play it by year and if he is rushing a bit, i'd say calm down to him.

Fast moving?

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