Grindr on UPC

Not all of them are scum. I used Grindr for a while and had on my profile that I was looking for chats, new friends, dating or a relationship, not casual/anonymous sexual encounters of any sort.

Got chatting to a lovely guy on it back about 4 months ago who was after the same things, we instantly hit it off, chatted every day and soon after met up, liked each other even more, we've met each others families and friends and now we are in a relationship and couldn't be happier.

I was the last person to think that dating sites or phone apps would actually work for me as they seem so sex obsessed and with a good percentage of weirdos and creeps. I used them as a way to fill the time mainly, but it did happen because I gave it a chance.

Grindr is intended to *be* a hookup app not a dating one, hence the geolocation etc. Using it and being surprised to find people are looking for sex is like being surprised to find books in a library.

MYOB wrote: »

Grindr is intended to *be* a hookup app not a dating one, hence the geolocation etc. Using it and being surprised to find people are looking for sex is like being surprised to find books in a library.

It does ask you if you're just looking friends or a relationship, so it's more a gay "networking" app, if that's the right word, it just happens to be used by a high percentage of men who want to use it for online cruising. Their own website even describes it as a dating app, so it's reputation among users is something they have attached to it, not the creators.

Paddy C wrote: »

It does ask you if you're just looking friends or a relationship, so it's more a gay "networking" app, if that's the right word, it just happens to be used by a high percentage of men who want to use it for online cruising. Their own website even describes it as a dating app, so it's reputation among users is something they have attached to it, not the creators.

That is just to get around Apple's puritanical app store rules though - its like claiming the Boilerhouse is a social venue that people go to to use the cafe in it.

readyletsgo wrote: »

If UPC are anything like 3, you have to ask them to lift the Adult Filter that is automatically set on all Wifi and Data connections now-a-days. Simple as.

They aren't. Only things blocked on UPC are the small number of sites that there are court orders requiring (Piratebay, KAT) and even then UPC fight those orders more than the other ISPs do.

MYOB wrote: »

That is just to get around Apple's puritanical app store rules though - its like claiming the Boilerhouse is a social venue that people go to to use the cafe in it.



They aren't. Only things blocked on UPC are the small number of sites that there are court orders requiring (Piratebay, KAT) and even then UPC fight those orders more than the other ISPs do.

Bull****. You might use or see it as only for sex but plenty of other others can and do use it differently.

When I was single I used it to meet guys for dates as much as anything else, and met plenty of nice guys through it. For dates and that's all.

Ultimately you can use it any way you like.

I find it pretty pathetic when people go out of their way to turn up their noses at grindr and the like. It seems that some people like to think it makes them seem like a better or more virtuous person if they are seen bashing others houses or activities.

It doesn't. It's just self righteous, self indulgent and really a sign of insecurity - trying to feel better about oneself it's seems by criticising others.

Some people like it, some people don't, which is fine. If you find it sleazy or whatever that is your legitimate experience.

But doesn't mean you have to fixating your judgment around to all and sundry, or stigmatise people who do use it. It's their choice to make.

The OP just asked whether it's working or not - he didn't ask for any opinions on the app itself, and quite frankly the answers given which complain about how sleazy it is don't seem to have any real purposes on this thread other than to let the world now how "righteous" some people are.

floggg wrote: »

Bull****. You might use or see it as only for sex but plenty of other others can and do use it differently.

You can use a spoon to butter bread, doesn't mean its intended for that purpose or in any way the most efficient tool for it. Its a hookup system, getting disgusted (as is often the case on here) when people are looking for a ride on it is ridiculous.

MYOB wrote: »

You can use a spoon to butter bread, doesn't mean its intended for that purpose or in any way the most efficient tool for it. Its a hookup system, getting disgusted (as is often the case on here) when people are looking for a ride on it is ridiculous.

It's only a hook up system if you use it for that purpose.

If you are only want it to meet guys for actual dates, you can use it that way too. And it's far more effective for than that than any other gay dating site I've tried.

And if you want to use it just to meet friends you can use it for that too though you are less likely to be successful n

Cydoniac wrote: »

Oh, come off it. Just because people do find positive experiences on Grindr doesn't mean that on a whole, the app is a bit rubbish compared to its counterparts. Hardly the same as doing the likes of tarring people with the same brush. If I want a hook up, I'm certainly not going to go onto OKCupid, but I'm sure I could find it there. Likewise when it comes to Grindr and meaningful relationships. Not sure why people are getting so uppity over a hookup app. Nobody is attacking or discrediting the said relationships that have formed from the app.

No, but you are attacking it's user base and discrediting our experiences with it - which includes some of us here.

If you are saying it's only a sleazy hook-up app, then you are, whether intentionally or not, casting aspersions on those who use it and making a judgment on their character.

Your also telling people who used it for other purposes that their experiences weren't real or authentic. Either we were unicorns and had an extremely atypical experience (there's no such thing as unicorns) or are our experiences weren't real and didn't happen.

Which is particularly irritating if, as you say, you don't use it.

Your perception of it may be that's for hook-ups only, and so in your hands that's all it would be.

I have used grindr for both - hook-ups and dating. When I wanted it to be for hook-ups, then it was very much a hook-up app. But when I wanted it to be for dating, it was very much a dating app. I had the maturity to say what I wanted and only to engage in the type of conversations I wanted. If I wasn't looking for the same thing as the person messaging me I politely told them and then chatted with somebody with a similar attitude.

Cydoniac wrote: »

Stop right there - you keep bringing this back to your relationship and making it somehow personal. Would you be offended if I said I didn't like a place that you went on holidays with your significant other every year?? (not the best analogy, but you see what I mean)


I'm not, but I'm saying that it has a distinct userbase, and I would look elsewhere as it would be a lot easier to find a relationship. I have used it but rarely had successful interaction from it, whereas with other networks I've made friends, lovers, and whatever in between.


Sigh...nope. I did nothing of the sort. You are taking this too personally.


Well, it would seem I am not the only one here who found it difficult in terms of finding meaningful contact. I'm sure there are many guys looking for such, but why would I use Grindr when there are a range of other apps?


It's not for hook-ups only. I wouldn't use a fork to eat soup though!

I'm not talking about my relationship. Believe me, I'm very comfortable with all aspects of it, and quite frankly after two years how we met is irrelevant to me.

Your experience is that it's best used only for hook-ups and you haven't met genuine people there.

My experience is the opposite (and not just talking about my bf - I met a lot of genuine guys on it, albeit for various reasons I didn't connect with them in that way).

Your experiences are fine and valid but so are mine. Comments like your fork for soup analogy makes it seem like trying to meet genuine guys on there is like finding a needle in a haystack.

While that may be your experience though, it certainly wasn't mine. I found plenty of genuine guys there - and without looking very hard. I'm not denying that there were lots of headless torsos just looking for sex. I found though that if you put your own face pic up, and are willing to initiate conversations instead of just waiting for guys to talk to you you'll get talking to plenty of decent guys.

So your comments annoy me a bit just because your so dismissive of other experiences and perspectives.

You can't conclude that grindr just has one main purposes or function just because yours or even your friends experiences played out a certain way when other people are saying their experiences turned out differently.

Clearly it's capable of being used in different ways and your experiences will vary depending on how you use it and who you happen to interact with.

I don't care whether you use it or not, or whether you find there are other more effective apps. I'm just staying you need to recognise that others have different experiences of it and different people will find different uses and purposes for it.