Your biggest fear getting older?

seachto7 · 20-01-2014 6:32pm #1

Just wondering what your biggest fear is as you get older, or I guess at any age?

Mine is health. My biggest fear is getting cancer. You hear of so many people who die because of it.

The worst thing is when you hear how people "found a lump one day", then went to the doctor, and found out it had spread, and a few months later, they are dead.

I need to go for a checkup to the doctor, just a regular checkup, and I'm going to tell him this, and grill him on what I can do to keep on top of this.

I am lucky in that I don't lead too stressful a life, but it's still a big big fear.

Carlosthejakal · 20-01-2014 6:33pm

Growing old alone

shopaholic01 · 20-01-2014 8:21pm

Losing my independance as a result of a stroke etc. and living out the last years of my life in a care home unable to perform basic functions unassisted.

Also, any long drawn out disease that doesn't have an end date in sight. Terminal cancer isn't pleasant but at least you have an idea when it will end.

beertons · 20-01-2014 8:24pm

Losing my parents. They've aged a bit in the last year.

helimachoptor · 20-01-2014 9:30pm

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Losing my independance as a result of a stroke etc. and living out the last years of my life in a care home unable to perform basic functions unassisted.

Also, any long drawn out disease that doesn't have an end date in sight. Terminal cancer isn't pleasant but at least you have an idea when it will end.

Same here, I've said to one friend if i end up with either a degenerative muscular/brain condition, i fully expect him to put me out of my misery.

Cancer i could deal with, it has an end date. My grandfather found out he had cancer, he died a month later but was pretty active and in good health until a week before his death. My grandmother had parkinsons and had a very rapid 3 year decline into, the first 6 months were frankly shocking and it was a bad 25 years then.

boobar · 21-01-2014 12:49am

Biggest fear for me would be health related primarily...losing independence, being a burden on family.

NIMAN · 21-01-2014 3:58am

Developing any sort of major illness any time soon that would mean me leaving my young infants without a father. I really hope that I can live for another 20yrs - 25yrs to see them all out of college and make their way in life.

Sir Arthur Daley · 21-01-2014 4:06am

Any major illness would be mine too, we often complain about the most stupid things and then hear of some one having a terminal illness and no doubt that person would love to have a 1001 of those stupid things instead of the illness that they have.

The Wild Bunch · 21-01-2014 9:42am

That Leeds will continue to languish outside the Prem

Plutharc · 21-01-2014 10:57am

I know its easy to say but try not worry or stress about it, what will be will be. Try never to feel your age, think young and try stay fit and healthy. Worry and stressing over it will probably speed up upcoming problems. If they arise try deal with them asap. But always think positive no matter what age your moving into and you will be better off for it and more able to fight for life if problems arise. By all means regular check ups are to be revommended but dont worry about what may never happen or not for a long time yet.

Look forward to each day, week or year and forget about your next birthday being a add 1 number just think of it as another year to cometo celebrate.

Wise Old Elf · 21-01-2014 11:31am

A few have already said it, but I'm the same, dying young and leaving my young children without a father.
I think it was highlighted for me recently when I heard of the sudden death of an old friend. We had somewhat lost contact over the last few years but still exchanged Christmas cards, etc. He had three young children

beano345 · 21-01-2014 1:27pm

After turning 34 today I don't know why this age has effected me more than the other landmark ages like 30 my priorities and goals have changed I don't really care about settling down or kids,I'd rather do my own thing,I think my biggest fear would be my parents,their at an age were things can happen.. sometimes suddenly.

burnhardlanger · 21-01-2014 3:14pm

I still wait for the call to say a parent has died.
I dread the day(s) I'll get that news.

21-01-2014 4:15pm

Degenerative illness, and losing family. Followed closely by dying old, alone, and forgotten.

Well, that's cheered me up

sharpey85 · 21-01-2014 4:32pm

Yes for me it's the same. Good health for as long as possible.

The saying "if you have your health you've won the lottery a million times over" really is spot on.

Again dreading a phone call about my parents that will inevitably come one day, but would never want them to have a long drawn out illness.

Pawwed Rig · 21-01-2014 4:40pm

It is natural that a child buries their parents so hopefully that is the way it happens for everyone here. It is a difficult thing to do but you get through it. A worse scenario is when a parent buries their children.

token56 · 21-01-2014 5:00pm

Health, in particular something like dementia. It's a horrible disease for everyone involved and the thought of experiencing it is something that truly terrifies me.

seachto7 · 21-01-2014 6:00pm

I'd nearly prefer to just keel over and not expect or know a thing about it than get seriously ill.

I suppose as I'm approaching 40, the thoughts of not being "young" anymore are hitting me right between the eyes.

Staying healthy and young at heart (but not dying my hair and dressing like a 20 year old!) are key I think.

For example, you see a lot of older well known musicians in their 50s or older. Most of them look good for their age. I know they don't have to get up and do a day job, and can afford to go to the gym a lot of the time, but I think a lot of it is down to what is between the ears.

Anyways, I'm going for a checkup next week. What key questions should I be asking the doc!!!

Tramps Like Us · 21-01-2014 6:04pm

seachto7 wrote: »

I'd nearly prefer to just keel over and not expect or know a thing about it than get seriously ill.

I suppose as I'm approaching 40, the thoughts of not being "young" anymore are hitting me right between the eyes.

Staying healthy and young at heart (but not dying my hair and dressing like a 20 year old!) are key I think.

For example, you see a lot of older well known musicians in their 50s or older. Most of them look good for their age. I know they don't have to get up and do a day job, and can afford to go to the gym a lot of the time, but I think a lot of it is down to what is between the ears.

Anyways, I'm going for a checkup next week. What key questions should I be asking the doc!!!

Bruce Springsteen looks amazing at 64

seachto7 · 21-01-2014 7:06pm

I was going to mention The Boss. He looks better than guys half his age!

Galwayguy35 · 21-01-2014 7:24pm

Getting a disease like Alzheimer's and knowing that my memory will slowly disappear over time.

Cancer is another one, it killed the old man and it's a horrible way to go.

21-01-2014 7:39pm

seachto7 wrote: »

I was going to mention The Boss. He looks better than guys half his age!

He looks great, but no way does he look 32

seachto7 · 21-01-2014 7:41pm

ah well, you know what I mean...

As in, just because he is 60+ doesn't mean he has to have a beer belly, double chin, farah slacks, sh*t jumpers and a comb over...

P_1 · 21-01-2014 9:59pm

I'd have to go with the mind or body deciding to clock off on me. Rationalising things, I suppose if worse came to worse with the body at least I'd have the chance to decide to end things something that wouldn't be possible if the mind went

astonaidan · 22-01-2014 1:12am

Not living up to my potential, feel like I let my parents down when I left college the first time.
Now have to wait 2 years before I go in again, so will be 33 finishing in 2019
Not quiet as big a fear, I do however think I may have missed out on the love off my life, hoping Im proven wrong by meeting someone else

keane2097 · 23-01-2014 4:02pm

Losing family and growing apart from my friends.

23-01-2014 4:06pm

astonaidan wrote: »

I do however think I may have missed out on the love off my life, hoping Im proven wrong by meeting someone else

There is more than only one possible love of your life. You'll be proven wrong.

Sleepy · 23-01-2014 6:32pm

The biggest one is not living long enough to do my duty to my kids. Once they're through college I'd just hope that whatever gets me does it quickly or with a reasonable finite time-line where I still have my mind (the classic 6 months to live, time to do the bucket list scenario).

osaurus · 23-01-2014 8:13pm

Nothing. Not being macho about it, but I fear nothing about growing old. It's a privilege I will hopefully get to experience. If not, fair enough, I will deal with it as it comes. The Sun will come up in the morning, will go down in the evening and repeat ad nauseum regardless of whether I'm here or not. I am enjoying life and will continue to do so up until I take my final breath. Parents and siblings passing, friends, break ups, relationships, the works will happen. Just roll with it, get over it in your own time and keep on rockin'.

kumate_champ07 · 25-01-2014 2:22am

losing athleticism, getting saggy,wrinkled and thin grey/bald. gonna fight it off as long as I can. Clint Eastwood had his mojo for a long time, Sean Connery too.

Ive started to lose contact with friends who started having babies/settling down. Im still a kid and dont really wanna be like them, its like they are becoming real adults and Im a pretend adult

Galwayguy35 · 25-01-2014 7:08am

I'm going to be 40 at the end of the year and I'm not looking forward to it at all, although I know it's not really a rational way of thinking it feels like I've reached the halfway point in life and the fact that I've arrived at this age so quickly makes me think how fast the years go by and that there is so much I want to do before it's brown box time.

I guess it's also time to start getting regular health checks, something I've never done.

_Kaiser_ · 25-01-2014 9:28pm

Probably the biggest concern (not sure I'd call it fear) I'd have is contracting a disease or having an accident that resulted in my being unable to look after myself or leading to me being a burden on my loved ones. If that happened I'd rather a quick death TBH

Like Galwayguy35 above I'm fast approaching 40 and have started to realise that I'm almost two-thirds through my working life and still have a long way to go if I plan to be able to enjoy my retirement and provide for myself/family in the way I want to.

I also am not one for doctors, check-ups etc but despite that I rarely get more than a cold twice a year - something else that'll probably change.

Oh well!

Lardy · 04-02-2014 2:00am

Having to be shown how to use the latest bit of technology and not having a clue what the youth is on about. "I'n my day, all I had was an iPad, iPhone..."
I still play my Sega Master System that I got in 1987, reminds me of being a kid.

BobTheNihilist · 04-02-2014 11:58am

Man I'm a catalogue of fears.

I hope I don't get terminal cancer or anything. I quit smoking and am quite fit now but still theres a risk even if you quit the fags.

I am also not working and hope I get a job soon as the job hunt is depressing. Min you I go to the gym a lot as Ive no work.

Also, Im in an LTR and I suppose assume I''ll be fucking railroaded into having kids at some stage. Because women are hellishly competitive.
I dont really want to because I suffer from mental health issues ie have attempted suicide etc in the past and am in no way a provider or role model. Cant even get a job ffs. Loser.

Sauve · 04-02-2014 12:11pm

BobTheNihilist wrote: »

Also, Im in an LTR and I suppose assume I''ll be fucking railroaded into having kids at some stage. Because women are hellishly competitive.
I dont really want to because I suffer from mental health issues ie have attempted suicide etc in the past and am in no way a provider or role model. Cant even get a job ffs. Loser.

mod
Easy on the generalisations there Bob, women aren't all the same.

ancapailldorcha · 04-02-2014 12:15pm

BobTheNihilist wrote: »

Man I'm a catalogue of fears.

I hope I don't get terminal cancer or anything. I quit smoking and am quite fit now but still theres a risk even if you quit the fags.

I am also not working and hope I get a job soon as the job hunt is depressing. Min you I go to the gym a lot as Ive no work.

Also, Im in an LTR and I suppose assume I''ll be fucking railroaded into having kids at some stage. Because women are hellishly competitive.
I dont really want to because I suffer from mental health issues ie have attempted suicide etc in the past and am in no way a provider or role model. Cant even get a job ffs. Loser.

You're being way too hard on yourself. From my limited experience, yeah, your risk of getting cancer is a bit higher than the average non-smoker but still miles below smokers and exercise will cut that probability further.
I've a degree and a masters and it took me years to get a decent job after I got made redundant ages ago. If companies here weren't so fond of using temps, I'd have had to come home.
Having always been single, I can't comment on the end of your post beyond saying that your partner's desire for children isn't a good enough reason to have them unless you feel the same way. I don't know if you've ever been to counselling but I think that might help you.

banquo · 04-02-2014 2:02pm

Being in my late 20s, mostly financial and family. We're a tiny family, never had a close death. Dreading it.

Oh, and my dog dying at some stage.

Your biggest fear getting older?

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