Girls weekend away

hollymartins · 25-07-2015 11:50am #1

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and fingers crossed all is going well so far , however I'm going away next weekend with a group of friends and I'm not sure how I'll avoid alcohol without raising suspicions.

Obviously it's too early to tell them that I'm pregnant but does anyone have any tips I could use? If it was just one night out then I could get away with not drinking and avoiding rounds but for three nights I'm not sure how I'll do it?

annoyedgal · 25-07-2015 1:44pm

No easy answer here as the antibiotic excuse never seems to wash! If you want to say antibiotics there is only one you can't drink on without being sick, think it's called Flagel.
As someone whose been in this situation recently I feel your pain! I said I was taking painkillers for my back and didn't want to mix with alcohol. If had to do it again i think I'd say I was trying for a baby and cutting out drink! That way your not giving the game away and it's a totally believable excuse!
If your not drinking in rounds order two tonic waters and say it's a g and t! Then sit on it!

hollymartins · 25-07-2015 1:55pm

Yeah I thought about using the antibiotic excuse but knowing my friends they would see that as a red flag and they'd know immediately that I was pregnant! I guess I might just say I'm on a tight budget and stay out of rounds, then hope know one hears my order when we're at the bar.

They'd realise straight away that something was up if I stayed on the soft drinks but that's my own fault as I'd never say no to some drinks/cocktails on a night out

VandC · 25-07-2015 1:56pm

Stay out of rounds, and go to bar to buy drinks. Easier if you are a spirit drinker as you can just buy the mixer and claim there is vodka or whatever in there. Or maybe the pub sells non alcoholic wine? Non alcoholic beer is an option but be sure to get rid of the bottle quick!

Antibiotic excuses never wash.

Expect to be found out tbh, I know I commented on someone not drinking at a wedding who didn't drink at all and turns out I was right. Not saying it was right that I commented but chances are it will happen. Be prepared for someone to ask you out straight, a friend of mine tried the not well/medicine excuse and she got a lot of winks and "congrats, I've heard all the excuses".

Other option is to not go of course. But that's the least fun option.

hollymartins · 25-07-2015 3:10pm

Yes VandC I don't think the antibiotics excuse will fly with anyone. Not going isn't really an option as everything has been paid for, plus I really want to go

A part of me thinks maybe I should just tell them, in the past I've guessed when someone was pregnant if they weren't drinking or avoiding social occasions and my friends would definitely say it if they thought I was pregnant - so what's the point in carrying on a charade? I miscarried earlier this year before we told anyone about the pregnancy but I did tell my closer friends about it afterwards so if, god forbid, I were to miscarry again I wouldn't keep it a secret.

I think I'll read the situation as the weekend progresses, if I can get away with passing off a soft drink as a spirit with mixer then great, if not then I'll just make my life easier and tell them. They all have enough cop on to know that it's still early days and to keep it to themselves

Little Miss Cutie · 25-07-2015 4:07pm

A friend of mine brought an old prescription bottle with vitamins in it and passed it off as taking antibiotics at each meal, made it far more believable.

Personally I told my family at 5.5wks as it was my 30th and couldn't have it hid it for the whole weekend we were away.

Penny Dreadful · 25-07-2015 4:23pm

No help just an observation - isn't it a sad state of affairs that we can't just say, no drink for me thanks and people just accept it. The need to force an alcoholic drink on someone is really annoying.

OP I literally just found out I was 2 weeks pregnant the Friday of my sisters hen weekend. I didn't even get to see my husband before I left for it so there was I way I was telling anyone before I told him.
I accept a glass of champagne and kept it in my hand for the first part of the evening and chatted to lots of different people.
Anyone who offered me a top up I put them off with a "pacing myself " statement and that wasn't questioned. Soon enough people forgot about me and my glass.
The second night for dinner again I took one glass of wine, sipped from it and refused top ups.

heldel00 · 25-07-2015 4:46pm

hollymartins wrote: »

Yes VandC I don't think the antibiotics excuse will fly with anyone. Not going isn't really an option as everything has been paid for, plus I really want to go

A part of me thinks maybe I should just tell them, in the past I've guessed when someone was pregnant if they weren't drinking or avoiding social occasions and my friends would definitely say it if they thought I was pregnant - so what's the point in carrying on a charade? I miscarried earlier this year before we told anyone about the pregnancy but I did tell my closer friends about it afterwards so if, god forbid, I were to miscarry again I wouldn't keep it a secret.

I think I'll read the situation as the weekend progresses, if I can get away with passing off a soft drink as a spirit with mixer then great, if not then I'll just make my life easier and tell them. They all have enough cop on to know that it's still early days and to keep it to themselves

I told everyone from 8 weeks or so and if they close friends you'll be away with then why not? My GP was very much of the opinion that you should enjoy pregnancy from the word go and not spend first trimester trying to hide something so joyful.
Another thing she said was that if I was to miscarry then why would I not want people's support and love at a very difficult time? You've unfortunately been through it so you'll know best yourself.

hollymartins · 25-07-2015 4:54pm

Oh I totally agree that it's a bit sad that the issue of not drinking is a minefield, if it were just one night out I wouldn't worry but considering it's more like our annual girls weekend away it would just look odd if I said I decided not to drink for it.

Thanks for all the advice ladies. I was hoping to get pregnant this year so it's a happy dilemma to have! I'll see what I can get away with, it's not the end of the world if they find out.

ncmc · 25-07-2015 4:57pm

To be honest, I'd just tell them. I think it would be more stressful to hide it for an entire weekend and they'd definitely suss it anyway. You'll be 9 weeks at that stage, it's really only telling 2 or 3 weeks early anyway. If they're good friends, then I'm sure they'll keep it to themselves if you explain you're not telling everyone yet.

Congrats by the way!

Dobbit · 26-07-2015 3:39pm

So annoying that people won't leave you be, one of my relations had me sussed when I was 9 weeks because she didn't see me with a drink over Christmas. She cornered me knowing full well that even if I was I wouldn't tell her until I was past 12 weeks (there's a history of miscarriages on both sides so I wanted to definitely wait), so what was the point in her doing that? Personally if I see a woman not drinking I keep my thoughts to myself, none of my business.

Allirog · 26-07-2015 4:07pm

I had this problem too!! I was 6 weeks when I had a very important party to go too, but I used the antibiotics thing and it worked. Another thing that worked for me was I was suffering really bad with 24/7 sickness and the party was on the Cill Arne boat at the convention centre so I got away with dealing with 'sea sickness'

Op, is there any one person going that you could confide in? I told my best friend who was at the party with me and she was brilliant, she got me drinks - non alcoholic beer - so pouring the bottle at the bar and walking back with a pint glass meant no one batted an eye lid.

annoyedgal · 26-07-2015 5:09pm

Dobbit wrote:

So annoying that people won't leave you be, one of my relations had me sussed when I was 9 weeks because she didn't see me with a drink over Christmas. She cornered me knowing full well that even if I was I wouldn't tell her until I was past 12 weeks (there's a history of miscarriages on both sides so I wanted to definitely wait), so what was the point in her doing that? Personally if I see a woman not drinking I keep my thoughts to myself, none of my business.

Amen to this! Had to put up with knowing comments when wasn't drinking and not yet 12 weeks. Felt like telling said people to mind their f@#ing business!!
Stressful enough keeping it a secret without people adding to the stress. Would never dream of making a comment to somebody not drinking. Basic cop on!

January · 26-07-2015 5:32pm

I'd just tell your friends... absolutely no point in hiding it at this stage, yeah ok, there's the risk of miscarriage but that will happen whether you tell people or not...

mirrorwall14 · 26-07-2015 5:35pm

I told my friends at 9 weeks because I was at a wedding with them all and it would have been obvious-plus I would have been stressed trying to hide it!

lazygal · 26-07-2015 10:33pm

I wouldn't say anything and wouldn't try to use antibiotics or other excuses. I was horrendously nauseous both times and I'm sure people speculated about my being pregnant but I wanted to tell them when I was ready and not at an early stage. Let people talk, who cares? If I'm pregnant again I won't tell until I'm ready and those who want to gossip can do so.

Girls weekend away

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