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Boyfriend staring at other women ...

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  • 20-09-2010 11:47pm
    #1
    TangyZizzle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,292 ✭✭✭


    :pac:

    Serious thread, title is for a laugh :)

    I am a boyfriend and I do look at other women. Now Iv toned it down a metric bleedin TONNE since I found my girlfriend. I am deeply in love with her and cant see myself with any other for the foreseeable future. But come on, I know Im not the only one who doesnt check out other women the odd time, we're visually driven creatures afterall.

    Confess :)

    edit: Ill add, I dont do it consciously I know this because when I realise *man, youre starin at this girls arse..* I avert my eyes very abruptly.


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    #2
    Panthro
    Registered Users Posts: 14,703 ✭✭✭✭Panthro


    Sure just because you are wearing a nice pair a shoes doesn't mean you can't window shop for a new pair!:D
    I used to be brutle for checking out the ladies, then got one and kind of toned it down too out of respect, but sure now I'm back on the window shelf meself I may aswell have an aul gawk every once in a while!
    I remember once, me and the ex walking down the street, I see a fella eyeing up herself, mad amount of eye contact between the two of them as they walk past one another, big smiles an all. I turned to her and laughed and said "why don't ya just marrrry him?!" she went bright red and tried denying their lil moment.
    I think both sexes do it every now and then, no harm at tall, sure wouldn't it be worse if she caught you checking out a fella!!:D


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    #3
    TangyZizzle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,292 ✭✭✭TangyZizzle


    papagormo wrote: »
    sure wouldn't it be worse if she caught you checking out a fella!!:D

    Yup, might as well be up for manslaughter.


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    #4
    Leeg17
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,127 ✭✭✭✭Leeg17


    TangyZizzle wrote: »
    :pac:

    edit: Ill add, I dont do it consciously I know this because when I realise *man, youre starin at this girls arse..* I avert my eyes very abruptly.

    This. It's not done consciously, and when you realise you do it, you make a conscious decision to stop. It's harmless IMO, and it's not like you're staring and contemplating anything past it. Everydone does it from time to time, even more if you're a singleton :D


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    #5
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    TangyZizzle wrote: »
    edit: Ill add, I dont do it consciously I know this because when I realise *man, youre starin at this girls arse..* I avert my eyes very abruptly.

    Right. You just gotta train yourself to pretend to be looking at something in that general direction rather than quickly look the other way.


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    #6
    folan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭folan


    have you ever seen the girlfriend checking out other guys when shes with you?


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    #7
    OldGoat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,633 ✭✭✭✭OldGoat


    You think you might get into trouble if you look at another woman? Is your woman going to have a jealous hissyfit or boil your bunny? Man up and look around at anyone you want to. Better still why not include your girlfriend in your thoughts on other people. It’s a form of communication.

    The idea that I'd be so cowed by some fictitious Rule of Dating that I can't admire the form of a woman is a complete anathema to me. It's schoolyardish.

    I'm older than Minecraft goats.



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    #8
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Surely it's nice to know your bf still appreciates women but comes home to you! I mean yeah act respectful about it, don't be constantly leering, but checking someone out once in a while is fine. I don't want him to be with me *only* because he's not allowed to look anywhere!
    Bonus points if he then turns around and says "well you're hotter" etc :p


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    #9
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Why do men always check out other girls when they have a girlfriend,... if the tables were turned and that was us checkin out men we would never hear the end of it...


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    #10
    TangyZizzle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,292 ✭✭✭TangyZizzle


    OldGoat wrote: »
    You think you might get into trouble if you look at another woman? Is your woman going to have a jealous hissyfit or boil your bunny? Man up and look around at anyone you want to. Better still why not include your girlfriend in your thoughts on other people. It’s a form of communication.

    The idea that I'd be so cowed by some fictitious Rule of Dating that I can't admire the form of a woman is a complete anathema to me. It's schoolyardish.

    Think? Let me give you a very recent example. She complained that I had too many 'girl' friends on facebook, she requested I show her the list of people I had filtered to not show up on my homepage. After she had a good aul examination of it, she asked '.....so, youre interested in what Róisín Boards is up to?.. ,'

    and on the contrary, I point out good lookin guys to her, she just pretends to ignore them.


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    #11
    folan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭folan


    she sounds a bit paranoid and like she doesnt trust you.

    Not exactly the best way to have a relationship.


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    #12
    TangyZizzle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,292 ✭✭✭TangyZizzle


    I can handle it, its gotten significantly better since the relationship started anyway.


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    #13
    OldGoat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,633 ✭✭✭✭OldGoat


    TangyZizzle wrote: »
    I can handle it, its gotten significantly better since the relationship started anyway.
    Ahhh young love. That would explane why she is a bit touchy about who you look at. She's still unsure of your relationship.
    Reassure her but don't compramise. You have to be yourself. :)

    I'm older than Minecraft goats.



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    #14
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    bored2010 wrote: »
    Why do men always check out other girls when they have a girlfriend,... if the tables were turned and that was us checkin out men we would never hear the end of it...

    Thats a load of rubbish TBH.Women are just as bad as men for checking out the opposite sex.Its human nature,we dont wear blinkers afterall.Once it doesnt go down the route of
    "Id love you more if you looked like him/her"

    then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it for either males or females.


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    #15
    beks101
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    TangyZizzle wrote: »
    and on the contrary, I point out good lookin guys to her, she just pretends to ignore them.

    You need to master the art of peripheral vision my friend. Then you can look all you want while not looking like you're looking...


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    #16
    jokettle
    Registered Users Posts: 11,419 ✭✭✭✭jokettle


    I think women are more aesthetically interesting to look at than men, on kind of a personally shallow level. I see a nice looking woman and I'm interested in her hair, her clothes, her figure and her makeup. I see a hot guy and that's all I see, a hot guy.

    So, as a straight woman with a boyfriend, if I see a hot girl I usually nudge the bf and point her out. It's something we can both enjoy observing :)

    However, if I see a hot guy I keep quiet. My bf probably won't appreciate it as much as I do, but I see nothing wrong in having a look. As long as there's trust in the relationship, there's no problem in enjoying the scenery :)


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    #17
    bullets
    Registered Users Posts: 4,612 ✭✭✭bullets


    A friend of mine once posed the question.

    Your walking down the street with your girlfriend and there's
    a good looking girl coming down the street. Who see's her first ?

    ~B


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    #18
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    bullets wrote: »
    A friend of mine once posed the question.

    Your walking down the street with your girlfriend and there's
    a good looking girl coming down the street. Who see's her first ?

    ~B

    With my last bf that would've been me...!

    Really though, obviously for you (OP) it's quite natural, and it's good that you're trying to tone it down for your gfs benefit out of respect, but don't go lying about where you were looking.

    I look at men and women all the time, whether in a relationship or not. Some people do, some don't. If your girlfriend is feeling insecure about it a lot then there's probably going to be more that you do that'll make her feel insecure. That's not to say don't respect that, but if your relationship is good then she probably will gradually feel more secure about you looking at other women.

    If you're walking, and she's talking to you while you're checking out other women, and you're not listening, then it's not so good. but if you really are still interested in her, then she shouldn't have too much reason to be jealous. or if she is, you may not be suited.


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    #19
    shellyboo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    My boyfriend doesn't do this, but I do. Men and women. And when I point out the women to him he generally goes "meh". Even if he had a more favourable reaction, it doesn't bother me. I can't ask him to go around with his eyes closed. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean your capacity to be attracted to people goes out the window.

    To insist that a boyfriend only has eyes for you is beyond silly. And I actually don't think "all" men do it anyway. I'd say if that's all you have to worry about in your relationship, you've little to be worrying about! :D


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    #20
    who what when
    Registered Users Posts: 810 ✭✭✭who what when


    bored2010 wrote: »
    Why do men always check out other girls when they have a girlfriend,... if the tables were turned and that was us checkin out men we would never hear the end of it...

    My girlfriend check out other guys (usually very subtely) and i can safely say i dont give a toss.


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    #21
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    shellyboo wrote: »
    My boyfriend doesn't do this, but I do. Men and women. And when I point out the women to him he generally goes "meh". Even if he had a more favourable reaction, it doesn't bother me. I can't ask him to go around with his eyes closed. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean your capacity to be attracted to people goes out the window.

    To insist that a boyfriend only has eyes for you is beyond silly. And I actually don't think "all" men do it anyway. I'd say if that's all you have to worry about in your relationship, you've little to be worrying about! :D

    Thats because men know that "isnt she pretty" is a double edged sword, say yes and usually it results in questions, say no and she knows you're lying :pac:


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    #22
    shellyboo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    krudler wrote: »
    Thats because men know that "isnt she pretty" is a double edged sword, say yes and usually it results in questions, say no and she knows you're lying :pac:


    I know you're half-joking, but that's not even remotely true for me, at all. I wouldn't trick my fella into saying something so I could be annoyed at/question him over it. That's ridiculous. I presume I'm not the only logical female on the planet, either.

    It annoys me when women are painted as these irrational tricksters who exist purely to get you to say the wrong thing. We're not all like that, some of us have an ounce of maturity.

    I point out women that I personally am attracted to or that I think he would be attracted to. It's the same to me (as objectifying as it sounds) as pointing out a cool car, a nice building, a restaurant I want to visit. It's an observation, not a calculated ploy to see how he really feels about me.


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    #23
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    I presume I'm not the only logical female on the planet, either.

    You may be :pac:

    I get ya though, but having been on the jealous girlfriend trickster house of fun ride before, its seriously annoying, to the point where going to a movie was only because of "yer one in it" sigh..its a pathetic way to act as an adult alright. Everyone has a teeny bit of jealousy occasionally, but because your partner finds someone else physically attractive is ludicrous.


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    #24
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    shellyboo wrote: »
    I know you're half-joking, but that's not even remotely true for me, at all. I wouldn't trick my fella into saying something so I could be annoyed at/question him over it. That's ridiculous. I presume I'm not the only logical female on the planet, either.

    It annoys me when women are painted as these irrational tricksters who exist purely to get you to say the wrong thing. We're not all like that, some of us have an ounce of maturity.

    I point out women that I personally am attracted to or that I think he would be attracted to. It's the same to me (as objectifying as it sounds) as pointing out a cool car, a nice building, a restaurant I want to visit. It's an observation, not a calculated ploy to see how he really feels about me.

    I consider myself pretty logical too.

    I hate games, hate when either gender indulges in them, though sometimes some people don't realise they're doing it :rolleyes: In college I was one of only two girls in my class, and the guys would spend all day long pointing out to each other good looking girls around, and I'd give my opinion all the time. It led to many a discussion :D It's completely natural, but it seems some girls (and guys I'm sure) can't handle it.

    It's very much in my nature to look at other people and notice things I do and don't like, and if a future boyfriend had a problem with that I dunno how that'd work out. Of course because I spend most of my time around guys most of my attention has been on women, so maybe that wouldn't be a problem, as in he would hardly get jealous. I know for me when I look at a guy that it's just about automatic that I decide whether or not I think he's good looking, so I'd actually probably spend more time looking at a girl.


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    #25
    the_syco
    Registered Users Posts: 37,295 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    IMO, there's looking, and there's mentally undressing them :D

    The former happens, the latter is bad if your OH is holding your arm...


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    #26
    monkeypants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,386 ✭✭✭monkeypants


    beks101 wrote: »
    You need to master the art of peripheral vision my friend. Then you can look all you want while not looking like you're looking...
    I think a woman's peripheral vision is better than a man's. At least my missus' is.


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    #27
    BopNiblets
    Registered Users Posts: 3,579 ✭✭✭BopNiblets


    monkeypants wrote: »
    I think a woman's peripheral vision is better than a man's. At least my missus' is.
    Like the Predator.

    All I know is, if I had a girlfriend beside me and someone like Bar Refaeli walked by, I'm pretty sure I'd look and there'd be no stopping it.
    There's appreciating of beauty (or a fine booty) and then there's lusting.


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    #28
    magneticimpulse
    Registered Users Posts: 1,952 ✭✭✭magneticimpulse


    Being a woman...i find women much more attractive. So if I see a nice woman, im usually the one pointing it out to my boyfriend. I appreciate attractive women.

    If you cant stop yourself doing it...the best thing is to talk about it with your girlfriend...like make a joke out of it. Oh she has hot legs...she would look awesome with you in a naughty 3some!! (its all fantasy at the end of the day)

    I think the key is, to try and make your girlfriend come out on top...that way she will never be angry with you. So its safe to say any girl is hot...but of course she is hotter.


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    #29
    magneticimpulse
    Registered Users Posts: 1,952 ✭✭✭magneticimpulse


    jokettle wrote: »
    I think women are more aesthetically interesting to look at than men, on kind of a personally shallow level. I see a nice looking woman and I'm interested in her hair, her clothes, her figure and her makeup. I see a hot guy and that's all I see, a hot guy.

    So, as a straight woman with a boyfriend, if I see a hot girl I usually nudge the bf and point her out. It's something we can both enjoy observing :)

    However, if I see a hot guy I keep quiet. My bf probably won't appreciate it as much as I do, but I see nothing wrong in having a look. As long as there's trust in the relationship, there's no problem in enjoying the scenery :)

    totally agree with this...most women notice attractive women 1st (before a guy would even notice her).

    Not only would we notice her, we could tell you what shoes she had, where the shoes came from, where her dress came from ...and if we didnt we'd prob ask (at least in the toilets...and yis wonder why women take so long in toilets) ;)


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    #30
    donutheadhomer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,658 ✭✭✭donutheadhomer


    TangyZizzle wrote: »
    :pac:

    Serious thread, title is for a laugh :)

    I am a boyfriend and I do look at other women. Now Iv toned it down a metric bleedin TONNE since I found my girlfriend. I am deeply in love with her and cant see myself with any other for the foreseeable future. But come on, I know Im not the only one who doesnt check out other women the odd time, we're visually driven creatures afterall.

    Confess :)

    edit: Ill add, I dont do it consciously I know this because when I realise *man, youre starin at this girls arse..* I avert my eyes very abruptly.

    better than him starring at guys I suppose


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    #31
    rockmax
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭rockmax


    nedtheshed wrote: »
    Thats a load of rubbish TBH.Women are just as bad as men for checking out the opposite sex.Its human nature,we dont wear blinkers afterall.Once it doesnt go down the route of



    then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it for either males or females.
    u r rite there woman just pertent that they dot give a dam abt the other fellas lat of rubbish lol i know lots of girls they have boy friends but still want to go out with me as a friend so tell me what kind of friendship is that? f****king friends


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