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Deja vu?

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  • 24-11-2014 9:34pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I was with a guy last year for a few months but due to distance (3.5 hours) and work commitments, he kinda faded and it fizzled out. However after a period of time, remained in contact on a friendly tone.

    Fast forward a few weeks ago, we were in steady contact and then bumped into each other on a night out, we were with separate groups but spent most of the night chatting and met up the following weekend (we are both originally from the same town but now I live in Dublin and he in Galway). He appeared to be really interested in seeing me again and we've met up each weekend since. I knew he has had issues with committing to girls - afraid of becoming attached and losing his freedom etc as he pointed out to me before. and yes I know to a point if a guy likes you enough he'll get over this. Maybe I should have flagged this when we started to meet up, but I didn't unfortunately.

    We had plans to meet Saturday night before we returned to Dublin and Galway but at the last minute he cancelled because he needed to leave and said he would call me last night but he didn't. No contact today either - I will probably ring him tomorrow if he doesn't contact me tonight but should I be hearing alarm bells with knowing his track record of disappearing? I'm not sure what to do. He's not very good at communicating his emotions either which makes it harder.....I like this one and really thought we had a chance.

    Maybe I'm overreacting but based on past experiences I tend to over-analyse things and get myself worked up at the first notion of something amiss but I don't like this feeling that's growing now.


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    #2
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Don't bother calling him. He is full of waffle


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    #3
    Dellnum
    Registered Users Posts: 262 ✭✭Dellnum


    The writing is on the wall that this guy wants out. If he was interested in keeping you he would have contacted you last night like he said he would. There is no excuse for this. Do not ring him, it is not your place. I would forget about him if I were you.


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    #4
    Tokyo
    Politics Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    He seems to be communicating his emotions just fine - it sounds like he enjoys the thrill of the chase, rather than actually settling for one person. Small delays can be written off to a dead battery or similar, a night and a day, not so much. Sorry, but you should probably invest your time in finding somebody who actually wants to be with you, rather than waiting in hope for this guy to change.


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Mike_ie - this is my fear too .... when we were in contact but not seeing eachother, he saw it as a challenge, now that he has me back its not fun any more. It seemed to happen so quickly though I was blindsided. I mean even last week he was chatting and making plans for over Christmas....now, poof.

    This sucks, something similar happened before so I should have anticipated it I guess :-(


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    #6
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    xxOPxx wrote: »
    Mike_ie - this is my fear too .... when we were in contact but not seeing eachother, he saw it as a challenge, now that he has me back its not fun any more. It seemed to happen so quickly though I was blindsided. I mean even last week he was chatting and making plans for over Christmas....now, poof.

    This sucks, something similar happened before so I should have anticipated it I guess :-(

    We all live and learn but don't let him treat you like this again. Value yourself and wait to meet someone who can't wàit to organise a date.


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    #7
    Dixie Chick
    Registered Users Posts: 1,062 ✭✭✭Dixie Chick


    I have to agree, and you even know yourself I think. Because you got on so well it was a blindside, but you will get over it. He will probably get in contact again but not on anyones schedule but his own.


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    #8
    fergie24
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭fergie24


    Speaking as a guy, If he liked you enough, was interested/wanted to date and see where is goes then Galway - Dublin is not such a big distance. Trust me i have done Cork to Dublin and Cork to Central Europe in the past.

    This guy just wants a good time when it suits him and pretty much has said it to you and you should listen to him before you develop any more feelings.

    When you tell him where to go and your not interested any more expect him to come crawling back, messaging you as he enjoys the chase and then watch him disappear again.


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    #9
    Ande1975
    Registered Users Posts: 446 ✭✭Ande1975


    OP,

    You will be doing yourself the biggest favour if you walk away and don't contact him ever again.
    You will look back and thank yourself - why?
    I foolishly wasted my best years on a guy who is just like this lad. When he says these things to you - believe him.
    Either a) he's honest or b)waiting for someone else. Either way he is never going to give you what you want.
    My drama started 10 years ago. I walked away 5 years ago and never met anyone else. I didn't want to. He showed up again 6 months ago. He is the EXACT same as he was 10 years ago and he will never change.

    Don't get sucked back in - you will meet someone nicer.


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