"I'm As Serious As Cancer When I Say Rhythm Is A Dancer!"

pickarooney · 13-06-2012 10:47am

Help The Aged has pretty good lyrics. Not sure why it's mentioned here.

Jester252 · 13-06-2012 11:49am

Skee-Lo

I Wish

Gyalist · 13-06-2012 12:02pm

smash wrote: »

Apparently it's "A licky boom-boom down" but that makes no sense so we'll stick with the rimming lyrics.

It makes no sense to you because you aren't a Yardie.

Skid · 13-06-2012 12:08pm

mud wrote: »

I always thought these were the worst:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYH9MugKJRg

You should give Peter Frampton the 'credit' for that one, as he wrote and performed the original.

Decent song, and if you really think those lyrics are 'the worst' you need to open your ears to some of the dreadful ****e the Black Eyed Peas have pedalled in recent years.

Novella · 13-06-2012 12:12pm

I don't usually say things like this but here it is appropriate - that song is an absolute choooooon!

Chips Ahoy · 13-06-2012 12:18pm

Rhythm Is A Dancer was number one in the Irish charts when i was born:eek:

Funglegunk · 13-06-2012 12:20pm

Crazy...sexy...MARVELLOUS

(Video not NSFW)

yoyo · 13-06-2012 12:20pm

Still one of my favourite songs

(if not the favourite :P Love the 2003 remakes as well)

Nick

goose2005 · 13-06-2012 12:21pm

Worst lyrics is Eminem in "Yellow Brick Road", trying to rhyme "birthday" with "first place"

davet82 · 13-06-2012 12:23pm

goose2005 wrote: »

Worst lyrics is Eminem in "Yellow Brick Road"

eminem was in the wizard of oz? :rolleyes:

homeOwner · 13-06-2012 12:24pm

Shakira - Whenever, Whereever

"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
So you dont confuse them with mountains"

:eek:

13-06-2012 12:31pm

"Fcucking magnets, how do they work?" At 1:50. Rest of the song is pretty terrible too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs

silverharp · 13-06-2012 1:23pm

the Killers surely "Are we human, or are we dancer?" it hurts my brain to hear it

mike65 · 13-06-2012 1:27pm

Lyrics are to be sung, not read out loud.

Snowie · 13-06-2012 1:29pm

sunflower27 wrote: »

Corona..... Rythm of the night......

Oooooh yeah..... throws down glass on table, shimmies up to dancefloor, makes dick of self

That's a cracker of a tune

.

Guilty pleasure

Archeron · 13-06-2012 1:37pm

Chips Ahoy wrote: »

Rhythm Is A Dancer was number one in the Irish charts when i was born:eek:

That comment makes my beard feel greyer.

BorneTobyWilde · 13-06-2012 1:41pm

''I'm serious as prancer when i said santa is a chancer''

jpm4 · 13-06-2012 1:47pm

CJC999 wrote: »

FFS they're only lyrics and purely used to rhyme with Dancer. It was No.1 when I was in Santa Ponsa on my first holiday abroad with a bunch of friends, i think it was in 1992 it was played several times in the night clubs each nite and holds such good memories for me.

I can think of far worse lyrics....

What about Dead Kennedys 'kill the poor', or GBH's 'Necrophilia' ???

What's wrong with the lyrics to "Kill the poor"? You weren't taking them literally I hope?

grindle · 13-06-2012 1:59pm

smash wrote: »

Not the worst lyrics, but probably the most offensive.

Anal C*nt - The Only Reason Men Talk To You Is Because They Want To Get Laid, You Stupid Fûcking Cûnt

YOU THINK YOU HAVE A LOT OF MALE
FRIENDS- YOU DON'T
YOU THINK GUYS CARE WHEN THEY ASK FOR YOUR OPINION- THEY DON'T
YOU THINK YOUR BEST FRIENDS BOYFRIEND
DOESN'T WANT TO FÛCK YOU- HE DOES
YOU THOUGHT THE BARTENDER WAS
BEING NICE TO YOU WHEN HE GAVE YOU A FREE DRINK- HE WASN''T
YOUR NEIGHBOR HELPED YOU MOVE- HE JUST WANTS TO FÛCK YOU
YOU BOSS BOUGHT YOU LUNCH- HE JUST
WANTS TO FÛCK YOU
A GUY BOUGHT YOU A DRINK- HE JUST WANTS TO FÛCK YOU
HE ASKED YOU TO GO OUT FOR COFFEE- HE
JUST WANTS TO FÛCK YOU
YOU THINK YOU'RE ONE OF THE GUYS
YOU THINK YOU'RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS
YOU'RE EVENTUALLY GOING TO GET RAPED YOU STUPID FÛCKING CÛNT
YOU STUPID CÛNT
YOU STUPID CÛNT
YOU STUPID CÛNT
YOU STUPID CÛNT
YOU STUPID CÛNT
YOU STUPID CÛNT
YOU STUPID FÛCKING CÛNT
YOU STUPID CÛNT
YOU STUPID CÛNT
YOU STUPID CÛNT
YOU STUPID CÛNT
YOU STUPID CÛNT
YOU STUPID CÛNT
YOU STUPID FÛCKING CÛNT

I'm sure they, and Cannibal Corpse have a few worse than that.
Sadly.

Potential-Monke · 13-06-2012 2:00pm

Definitley a floor stomper of a choon! Right up there with the Mortal Kombat theme!!! :P

flutterflye · 13-06-2012 2:03pm

I don't find that Anal Cnut song offensive.
I think the Rhythm is a dancer one is probably more offensive - although, I'm not offended by that either.

Some brilliant 90's songs in this thread

smash · 13-06-2012 2:03pm

grindle wrote: »

I'm sure they, and Cannibal Corpse have a few worse than that.
Sadly.

Not really. That's just aggressive and sad. Try convince someone who has cancer that rhythm is a dancer and that you're as serious as their life threatening illness with your opinion.

Shane-KornSpace · 13-06-2012 2:10pm

Deleted User wrote: »

"Fcucking magnets, how do they work?" At 1:50. Rest of the song is pretty terrible too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs

I think I may be stupider after watching that. Thanks.

grindle · 13-06-2012 2:12pm

smash wrote: »

Not really. That's just aggressive and sad. Try convince someone who has cancer that rhythm is a dancer and that you're as serious as their life threatening illness with your opinion.

No thanks. Never felt that way about rhythm.
It CAN be a dancer, sometimes, but all the time? Nah.
I could see Diversity saying it to some terminally ill patients though. Fidgety little pricks.

RDM_83 again · 13-06-2012 2:28pm

I was in a taxi a while back when this song came on (on cd which made it even worse), was nearly impossible to keep a straight face

R.Kelly- Pregnant

Chorus

"Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Thats what I told her,
Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Lay your body down and get you pregnant,
Knock you up, pregnant, Knock you up, pregnant"

spoofilyj · 13-06-2012 2:46pm

I think Riverdance Beat it at 18 weeks at number one in the single charts in 1994 and I though Killing me softly by the Fugee's or Iris by the goo goo dolls was longer at number one too...

Super-Rush · 13-06-2012 2:53pm

A great philosopher once wrote,
naughty naughty, very very naughty.

ha ha ha.

SEPT 23 1989 · 13-06-2012 3:02pm

Well I was
Big black horse and a cherry tree
I can't quite get there 'cause my heart's forsaken me
Big black horse and a cherry tree
(Big black horse and a cherry tree) I can't quite get there 'cause my heart's forsaken me
(Big black horse and a cherry tree) I can't quite get there 'cause my heart's forsaken me
(Big black horse and a cherry tree) I can't quite get there 'cause my heart's forsaken me
No, no, no, no
(Big black horse and a cherry tree) I can't quite get there 'cause my heart's forsaken me
No, no, no, no
(Big black horse and a cherry tree) I can't quite get there 'cause my heart's forsaken me
(Big black horse and a cherry tree) I can't quite get there 'cause my heart's forsaken me
(Big black horse and a cherry tree) I can't quite get there 'cause my heart's forsaken me
I can't quite get there cause my heart's forsaken me
(Big black horse and a cherry tree) I can't quite get there 'cause my heart's forsaken me
(Big black horse and a cherry tree) I can't quite get there 'cause my heart's forsaken me

Spunge · 13-06-2012 3:10pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pehHOqx7JXg

Chucken · 13-06-2012 3:20pm

spoofilyj wrote: »

I think Riverdance Beat it at 18 weeks at number one in the single charts in 1994 and I though Killing me softly by the Fugee's or Iris by the goo goo dolls was longer at number one too...

"One Day at a Time" was recorded by Gloria who released it as a single in August 1977. The song remained on the Irish charts for the rest of the year, throughout 1978 and well into 1979 - peaking at No.1 (over a year after it had entered the chart) and spending 90 weeks in the top 30 - the longest run by any song in Irish Chart history.

I wont subject you to the video

rainbowdrop · 13-06-2012 3:47pm

J Cheever Loophole wrote: »

Well, if it's crap lyrics you want, then Cool For Cats by Squeeze has to get a mention - "I kiss her for the first time, and then I take her home, I'm invited in for coffee and I give the dog a bone" :eek:

Even Noel Gallagher was moved to take the piss out of Jools Holland about that when he last appeared on his show - a mere 33 years later!!

I still thought Squeeze were great!!

Wait......what...... Jools Holland was in the band that did Cool for Cats?

Well, ya learn something new every day:o

kowloon · 13-06-2012 4:01pm

This makes my ears bleed. Everything about it is bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaC-zCMLTKU

DUBACC · 13-06-2012 4:01pm

stovelid wrote: »

Best casually homophobic lyric of any 80s dance or rap song is from Funky Cold Medina when he finds out the mot is actually a fella:

"You know, ain't no plans with a man
This is the 80's, and I'm down with the ladies
Ya know?"

I remember that - cool song! Used to love Tone Loc!

'So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man'

alphabeat · 13-06-2012 4:43pm

AHEM :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipMPJ42vyYs

aaronjumper · 13-06-2012 4:49pm

Has anyone mentioned Nicki Minaj yet?
Some of hers are just. . . so bad.
I thought rappers were supposed to be better at forming decent lyrics.

mikemac1 · 13-06-2012 4:51pm

Bada bwi ba ba bada bo
Baba ba da bo
Bwi ba ba ba do [x2]

Ski bi di bi di do bap do
Do bam do [x3]

Was number 1 for a number of weeks, great tune :cool:

I don't think they are bad lyrics at all, just a bit unusual

John Doe1 · 13-06-2012 4:54pm

"Hey girl im as hard as a rock
Suck my big donegal c**k
You will be in for a shock
and you wont be able to walk"

Daniel O'Donnell "Ballad of a P.I.M.P."

BraziliaNZ · 13-06-2012 4:57pm

I must have been 12 or so when this came out and it infected the airwaves for what seemed like an eternity, thanks for reminding me of it

mikemac1 · 13-06-2012 4:58pm

boom boom boom Castlebar is in Mayo, heyo

Pre-internet days it wasn't as simple as finding song lyrics instantly in a search engine.

Since nobody was clear what the lyrics were people started making things up

Pretty sure Ray D'arcy started the Castlebar one on TV and it took off
May have been Ian Dempsey, not sure

Logical Fallacy · 13-06-2012 4:59pm

One of my favourite bad lyrics is from a UK MC who calls himself Shakespear.

"It's William back from the dead, cept I rap about gatts and I'm black instead".

Allyall · 13-06-2012 5:02pm

Led Zeppelin- 1975: If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me. Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.
Nicki Minaj- 2012: You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid), you a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid), you a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid) (stupid, stupid)

************************

I'm blue bada bee bada dee bada ba dee

13-06-2012 5:03pm

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Wait......what...... Jools Holland was in the band that did Cool for Cats?

Well, ya learn something new every day:o

He was indeed. And I've no idea how Squeeze would figure in a worst ever lyrics thread. They were inspired.

"I never thought it would happen, with me and the girl from Clapham"

mud · 13-06-2012 5:48pm

Skid wrote: »

You should give Peter Frampton the 'credit' for that one, as he wrote and performed the original.

Decent song, and if you really think those lyrics are 'the worst' you need to open your ears to some of the dreadful ****e the Black Eyed Peas have pedalled in recent years.

Well aware that P F had the original, I posted the version that me and my mates used to laugh at years ago. I've never listened to B E P aside from maybe hearing them on the radio but was never interested enough to seek out their lyrics.

Pace2008 · 13-06-2012 6:55pm

Summer Girls by LFO, hands down:

Yeah...I like it when the girls stop by.. In the summer
Do you remember, Do you remember?
...when we met..That summer??

[Chorus:]
New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer

[Verse 1:]
Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began
You're the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby
Something in your eyes went and drove me crazy
Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Chorus:]
New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer

[Verse 2:]
Cherry Pez,cold crush,rock star boogie
Used to hate school so I had to play hookie,
Always been hip to the B-boY Style
Known to act wild and make girls smile,
Love New Edition and the Candy Girl
Remind me of you because you rock my world
You come from Georgia where the peaches grow
They drink lemonade and speak real slow
You love hip hop and rock n roll
Dad took off when you were 4 years old
There was a good man named Paul Revere
I feel much better baby when you're near
You love fun dip and cherry Coke,
I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge:]
In the summertime girls got it going on,
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like,
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

[Verse 3]
Bugaloo shrimp and pogo sticks
My mind takes me back there oh so quick
Let you off the hook like my man Mr. Limpet
Think about that summer and I bug,cause I miss it
Like the color purple,macaroni and cheese,
Ruby red slippers and a bunch of trees
Call you up but whats the use
I like Kevin Bacon,but I hate Footloose
Came in the door I said it before,I think I'm over you
but I'm really not sure
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge:]
In the summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so,
Summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so,
Summertime girls got it going on
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

[Repeat Chorus]

brummytom · 13-06-2012 7:02pm

bluewolf wrote: »

no no no no no no no no no no no no theres no lyrics

I actually love that song.

ArtyM · 13-06-2012 7:38pm

In the competition for worst lyrics maybe this deserves a mention, on the grounds of inaccuracy...
"You'll never beat the Irish"

dr.bollocko · 13-06-2012 7:58pm

Whatever happened to all the heroes?

All the Shakespearoes?

Jesus christ. My ears burn every time i hear that one.

grindle · 13-06-2012 8:01pm

Allyall wrote: »

Led Zeppelin- 1975

VS

Nicki Minaj- 2012:

The Royal Teens - Short Shorts - 1957

Ooh man, dig that crazy chick.
Who wears short shorts
We wear short shorts
They're such short shorts
We like short shorts
Who wears short shorts
We wear short shorts.

Joanna Newsom - No Provenance - 2010

Poor old dirty little dog-size horse!
swaying and wheezing,
as a matter of course;
swaying and wheezing,
as a matter of pride.
That poor old nag, not four palms wide,
had waited a long time,
coated in salt,
buckled like a ship run foul of the fence.
In the middle of the night,
she'd sprung up,
no provenance,
bearing the whites of her eyes.

Captain Graphite · 13-06-2012 8:08pm

MacArthur Park surely deserves a mention. Musically it's quite a good song but some of the lyrics are just.......bizarre.

"Pressed in love's hot fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants"

"MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet green icing flowing down.
Someone left the cake out in the rain.
And I don't think I can take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it,
And I'll never have that recipe again."

xzanti wrote: »

Life by Des'ree has to be the worst lyrics of all time..

:eek:

To be fair though, I think we all would rather eat toast than see a ghost. That line is really beautiful because it's universal; every man, woman and child can relate to it.

du Maurier wrote: »

Surely Ace of Base were knocking around this time as well. The Sign.

:mad: Don't knock Ace of Base. They were awesome!

This is my happy song. DON'T YOU DARE KNOCK MY HAPPY SONG!

mud wrote: »

I always thought these were the worst:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYH9MugKJRg

For ages my sister thought that song was 'Baby I Love Your Wig'. Evidently the title didn't give her any clue as to what the actual lyric was.

dr.bollocko · 13-06-2012 8:10pm

You cannot seriously suggest that MacArthur Park has bad lyrics?

That song is bloody awesome. Those lyrics are pure poetry. I sometimes feel like a cake left out in the rain.

That song speaks to our souls.

"I'm As Serious As Cancer When I Say Rhythm Is A Dancer!"

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