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Non-Stutterer's View

2»

Comments

  • #52
    TheBa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 164 ✭✭TheBa


    petrocelli wrote: »
    As a left handed male stammerer, it has struck me over the years that a disproportionate number of stammerers are left handed, and almost all are male. This is purely anecdotal, but now when I get talking to a fellow stammerer I usually ask are they left handed, and am surprised at how often the answer is yes.

    Perhaps someone has shown this to be the case years ago and I missed it. Any thoughts?

    I am a left-handed male too, who has a stammer.

    However, when attending a course (The Maguire Programme), I asked a group to raise their hand if they were left handed and maybe slightly over half the room raised their hand.

    The only thing which wasn't taken into consideration was the severity of the stammer of each group. Perhaps the lefties suffer worse from their stammer, I'm not sure.


  • #53
    LizT
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,089 ✭✭✭✭LizT


    petrocelli wrote: »
    As a left handed male stammerer, it has struck me over the years that a disproportionate number of stammerers are left handed, and almost all are male. This is purely anecdotal, but now when I get talking to a fellow stammerer I usually ask are they left handed, and am surprised at how often the answer is yes.

    Perhaps someone has shown this to be the case years ago and I missed it. Any thoughts?


    There has been research into this area and studies have shown that lefties are more likely to develop a stammer and dyslexia (Incidentally, lefties are better at recovering from a stroke! Just a random fact) I don't think there is any known reason for it. I'm a SLT student and we're studying dysfluency now and it's so interesting! There are so many different approaches to stammering therapy. Unfortunately, we've only covered pre-school and school age children so far, but I am quite interested in the area of adult stammering.


  • #54
    moonandstars
    Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭moonandstars


    Fallen Seraph wrote: »
    My brother's terribly afflicted by a stammer, and I've no problem with it. I really can't see what all the fuss about it is, tbh.

    Have u a stammer? If so, you would understand...it can affect confidence, self-belief, it can change your whole outlook on life and often determine what you do for a living, how you deal with life etc. It isin't as easy as saying it's not a big deal, it's quite complex for alot of stammerers.


  • #55
    lostpas5235
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35 ✭lostpas5235


    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.“ - if only it was that simple!

    @fallen seraph. I wish I didn't make a big fuss about my stammer. It amazes me when I hear something like that. On the hand it is good to know that on the whole most people seem to be ok with people who stammer. But then why has it affected my life so much, why do I worry so much about being understood, why do avoid (work) phone conversations like the plague?

    @moonandstars, complex is one word I'd use, frustratingly complex. I think there are important cultural issues at play here, I can't quite put my finger on it. I mean is taboo too strong of a word to use here? A lot of people, including myself, avoid discussing stammering, or even acknowledging it. This leads to a significant lack of understanding, creates a bit of a divide. Forgive my rambling here, I am releasing years of pent up silence about this.

    @happyfeet. Thanks for sharing that, I really needed to hear that. I might be going back to college to do a PhD and I will probably have to do some teaching to pay the bills, the thought of that terrifies me.

    For the record right-handed male here.
    Also please do not finish my sentences for me, I hate that. Anyway, just thought I'd add my take on this. It feels good to finally come out, so to speak.


  • #56
    moonandstars
    Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭moonandstars


    I can finally talk about it now..But I DO understand exactly what your going through..it seems nobody has a clue what it's like..and non-stutterers don't understand..this completely takes over your life..and when one is young and in school, a teenager etc..it is not easy at all.
    But I am going back to college and I am apprehensive but I have learned to come to terms with it..I barely stutter much at all now..I have learned to be a bit stronger and fcuk everyone else if they don't like it!!:D


  • #57
    moonboy52
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,199 ✭✭✭moonboy52


    moonandstars wrote: »
    I can finally talk about it now..But I DO understand exactly what your going through..it seems nobody has a clue what it's like..and non-stutterers don't understand..this completely takes over your life..and when one is young and in school, a teenager etc..it is not easy at all.
    But I am going back to college and I am apprehensive but I have learned to come to terms with it..I barely stutter much at all now..I have learned to be a bit stronger and fcuk everyone else if they don't like it!!:D

    Go team! :)

    A good attitude.

    I also have a stammer although it was a lot worse in school.

    Teenagers can be very cruel and no doubt it scars you in later life.

    It does affect my life but you know what when i see someone with a disability worse than my own it puts things into perspective


  • #58
    moonandstars
    Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭moonandstars


    Not only teenagers are cruel...TEACHERS are cruel!
    There are some things best forgotton..if it were that easy!


  • #59
    Pulsating Star
    Registered Users Posts: 702 ✭✭✭Pulsating Star


    Just came across this section and thought to say something as I had some time as a stammerer. I say stammerer as per the difference given earlier even if incorrect, I would get stuck at the start of sentences/words.

    For me it was mostly secondary school years and a little after. I had always been fairly quiet but then almost clammed up altogether. Because it was new to me, I knew it was physiological, and learnt to cope with it till it went away,breathing slowly before speaking, planning what I wanted to say,not replying when agitated etc.

    Even thought I now realize mine was quite minor it affected me a lot and its in remembering this ,any time I am engaged with a stutterer ,I feel under pressure to make sure they don't feel under pressure. It has also led me to take notice of comments made about stuttering and I wish I had known at the time how little it bothers others. For the few that are cruel it just acts as a marker, so one knows you are dealing with a truly thick person who would be cruel in most situations.


  • #60
    Esel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,498 ✭✭✭✭Esel


    Pulsating Star wrote: »
    Because it was new to me, I knew it was physiological,....
    Don't you mean psychological?

    Not your ornery onager



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  • #61
    Pulsating Star
    Registered Users Posts: 702 ✭✭✭Pulsating Star


    esel wrote: »
    Don't you mean psychological?

    closewindow.png


    'Physiological psychology

    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Jump to: navigation, search
    50px-Merge-arrows.svg.png
    It has been suggested that this article or section be merged with Psychophysiology . (Discuss)'

    See, see, its all the same ;)


  • #62
    Esel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,498 ✭✭✭✭Esel


    Fixed your link Psychophysiology.

    I still think you meant psychological, though! :D

    Not your ornery onager



  • #63
    sherdydan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 393 ✭✭sherdydan


    there was a lad i got on grand with in school who had a stutter, and it didnt bother me in the least, but i always wondered, for people who stutter, is it that they can think everything they want to say in there mind, but they cant get the words out, or does there mind get stuck?

    have phrased that terribly i know, but hopefully ye get what i mean!


  • #64
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    My fiance is a stammerer and hand on heart I find it endearing.

    He was bad as a child but then got better when he moved from South Africa to New Zealand (which I think I mentioned in this forum before). He thinks it's because the SA accent is very harsh and that made it worse (he speaks with a NZ accent now). He only stammers with me when he's very tired - as soon as I hear him stammer I ask him if he's tired and he always says yes, how did you know? He doesn't realise he's stammering.

    Occasionally he stammers when we're meeting people for official reasons, like we're viewing a house, or we're at the bank, things like that. I occasionally have to rescue him.

    Otherwise, he's grand. He does a lot of public speaking for his job as well and he does a great job.


  • #65
    nicechick!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 440 ✭✭nicechick!


    Stephen P wrote: »
    I've robbed this from another forum and I think it's a good subject for this relatively new forum.

    What are the views of non-stutterer's on people who stutter? Maybe you have a friend who stutter's or have a family member who stutter's...
    Do you know enough information about stuttering? Or anything at all?

    Experiences from those who stutter are welcome, what do your friends and family think of your stutter?

    I'm interested to hear the good things and also bad things.

    When I was younger I hung out with a girl who stuttered I used to kick myself as I would finish her sentences!! Not the intention but even though we were young I felt then and now looking back that I would have stifled her ability to freely communicate with her friends stutter and all! though she never mentioned it I'm sure she didn't appreciate it or I assumed she didn't thankfully as an adult she still talks to me!!

    I have a friend who also has a stutter but honestly largely it goes unnoticed he is who he is. I know little about stuttering in general but know that is is quiet common in children and for many they tend to grow out of it. It can happen in adults who have had strokes, severe mental stress, anxiety.


  • #66
    lewisanson
    Registered Users Posts: 11 ✭lewisanson


    We stammerers who stutter to different degree's learn along lifes wonderful road that we are more self conscious as kids as we get older we realise the reality of who really cares as long as we communicate in some manner, it is only the ignorant and insecure who mock the afflicted. However try explaining this concept to a child and putting this attitude into practice is another challenge, but a challenge worth perservering. I am now 48 with a slight stammer but given the advice at a young age may have helped. There said that without even pausing...


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  • #67
    radia
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 360 ✭✭radia


    Really interesting to hear that most, if not all, of those with a stutter/stammer on this thread advise listeners not to say the word the person is struggling with or to finish their sentence, as it comes across as impatient.

    I've just started working with someone who seems to have a very severe stammer, and I came to this forum specifically to see whether most people prefer listeners to complete the word or not, since I don't want to upset/offend her, and nor do I feel I know her well enough yet to ask her own preference.

    Obviously, the basis of Option A - waiting - is for the reasons people have already articulated: Not to rush the person or show impatience.

    But the reason I was also considering Option B - finishing a word/sentence - was not impatience, but rather that I sometimes feel like I'm torturing the girl by waiting: She's struggling with a word, I know what she's trying to say, she knows I know, and yet I'm just sitting there while she's blushing and struggling with it. It seems mean not to just help her get past that particular word/phrase and move on. Would none of you ever feel like that?

    Based on the answers upthread, I guess I'll continue to let her get the words out in her own time, but when you're talking to others and we say the word you're stuck on, don't always ascribe impatience to us! Sometimes we're doing it because we think you might prefer it! :)


  • #68
    TheBa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 164 ✭✭TheBa


    radia wrote: »
    Really interesting to hear that most, if not all, of those with a stutter/stammer on this thread advise listeners not to say the word the person is struggling with or to finish their sentence, as it comes across as impatient.

    I've just started working with someone who seems to have a very severe stammer, and I came to this forum specifically to see whether most people prefer listeners to complete the word or not, since I don't want to upset/offend her, and nor do I feel I know her well enough yet to ask her own preference.

    Obviously, the basis of Option A - waiting - is for the reasons people have already articulated: Not to rush the person or show impatience.

    But the reason I was also considering Option B - finishing a word/sentence - was not impatience, but rather that I sometimes feel like I'm torturing the girl by waiting: She's struggling with a word, I know what she's trying to say, she knows I know, and yet I'm just sitting there while she's blushing and struggling with it. It seems mean not to just help her get past that particular word/phrase and move on. Would none of you ever feel like that?

    Based on the answers upthread, I guess I'll continue to let her get the words out in her own time, but when you're talking to others and we say the word you're stuck on, don't always ascribe impatience to us! Sometimes we're doing it because we think you might prefer it! :)

    Hear hear! I have a stammer myself, and I actually am relieved when someone says the word I'm struggling with. I'm sure some people would rather say the word themselves, particularly if they have their own mechanism for dealing with it, but I'd certainly rather move on asap, even if it meant having a helping hand over a word.

    I suppose the only exception is when the person, despite their best intentions, gets the elusive word wrong. Things can get slightly awkwar then :P


  • #69
    pgj2015
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    I was talking to a colleague lately and they started stammering in a big way, I just acted like they had talked totally normally but I could tell they were annoyed they did it. I think the person who stammers thinks its a big deal but to the non stammer they dont pass any heed on it. no one is perfect.



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