Stressing out over performance

LegacyUser · 18-09-2014 8:32pm #1

Hoping for some advice. I started a new job in a graduate role nearly 3 months ago. I got the role off the back of a college placement which I performed well in, but the graduate role is in a different division of the company.

Since I started I really feel as if I'm just not hitting the mark, and am not managing to do what was expected. Nothing has been said, but I am terrified by my upcoming three month review, as I really feel that I am not living up to what the team thought they were getting when they hired me.

I'm really bad at one on ones so if its not brought up in my review by my manager I will chicken out and say nothing (because who wants to say "by the way, I think I'm under performing..."), and if it is brought up I will probably get upset so its a lose lose situation, but It's starting to really worry me, and cause me to get really wound up about every little thing in work. It took me 2 hours to send an email the other day because I was so worried that I would get something wrong or someone would misinterpret something.

Can anyone offer any advice on finding the way out of this? any suggestions are really appreciated!

Irish_Elect_Eng · 19-09-2014 12:10pm

You do need to openly discuss performance with your manager, failure to do so is a severely career-limiting move irrespective of your actual performance. Believe me, people that acknowledge their challenges and are willing to discuss and address them as seen very positively as being easy to manage and a cut a lot of slack when compared to those in denial.

You are a graduate, hardly in the door a wet-week, as a manger I would be expecting to have to coach and course-correct new and inexperienced employees. Engage in that process and you will benefit.

It is hard to admit to being challenged, but you do not have to frame it negatively.

For Example, if it does not come up in your review ask the following question.

"Thanks for the review. I am looking forward to the next three months and I want to be sure that I am doing everything to maximize my performance. I would really appreciate it if you could clearly outline to me the 3 key things that you want from my performance in the next three months."

Ask him to frame them as SMART goals.

boobar · 19-09-2014 3:29pm

OP first of all, stop kicking yourself around and stressing.

" nothing has been said"....so that's good. You've already performed well in your previous assignment.

This is "new" so go easy on yourself and as the previous poster said you'll most likely require coaching on the job.

So take note of the specific areas you're having difficulty with and ask for some advice and help from your coach. Treat your manager like a coach ...someone that has to guide you...its in their interest to help you become more effective.

Been there with the stress thing myself as a graduate....it gets you nowhere, so quit being too hard on yourself. The very fact that you're keen to improve is most likely apparent to all around you including your boss.

Good luck.

aamurray · 19-09-2014 4:02pm

Companies rely on their employees 'fitting' in to their systems. You are on the initial phase of fitting in and it is normal to feel that you are underperforming.

Understand that this is a normal reaction... As previously stated, your manager is your coach and it is his responsibility to mould you to hitting performance targets. Use him, talk to him about every aspect of the projects you are working on, clarify details, get approvals for decisions, ask for his opinions, ask colleagues for their views, in other words - become a Team Player... Soon it will become easier to communicate and then you will realise that they are all on your side, they all want you to be part of the team.

My 2 cents worth...

seannash · 19-09-2014 4:23pm

Why wait til your review, just pop over to your bosses office and ask for a quick word.
Its not that difficult and most bosses would be obliging. Just pick your moment when he seems to be in a good mood and not got a meeting to rush off to

LegacyUser · 19-09-2014 7:55pm

Thanks for the replies, I know I'm "only" in 3 months, but it just feels like I should be getting the hang of something by now!

I have to say the team is lovely and any time I ask anything the person I work closest with will take time out, come over to my desk and chat through any issues, but at the moment there is a crazy amount to be done and I just hate taking peoples time away from their own work. if it comes to asking a question or really messing up I will always ask, but I just feel like I should be more confident with the stuff I've been doing since I started. This week I honestly feel like I accomplished nothing, as anything I started I couldn't finish without help from someone, and I didn't even get to start some things I'm supposed to have done because I couldn't get a hold of the right people to ask...

As for discussing my worries with my manager, I don't have a whole lot to do with them on a daily basis, only the odd call or email around bits of admin I would be doing. They have been nothing but lovely, even going as far as to tell me they would prefer me to call in then to sit in my office stressing, but I am really really really bad at things like that, and get upset really easily and calling in to say I'm not sure what I'm doing terrifies me.

I'm panicking a bit because all I wanted since my placement was this job and now I think I'm in the process of ruining it for myself by being silly...

tenifan · 20-09-2014 2:16pm

Hi Op. Most companies don't worry about people performing. They want people who can fit in. They would prefer you to get up to a level of "adequate" within 12 months and stay with them for the next 5 years, so that when you do get up to the required standard you're reliable and dependable.
It might impress a manager initially when someone takes on a lot of work and does it all perfectly, but usually it doesn't end well. Either the employee will have been overconfident and making mistakes (by rushing into things without asking questions), or they will get bored and leave the company, or suffer stress and burnout, or will start grating on other team members who feel the employee is standing on their toes.
At your 3-month review, be positive! Be able to rhyme off the daily and weekly tasks you alone are responsible for. Tell your manager who has been training you, and the various systems/reports/etc they have shown you. Get across that you're learning and picking up new things every week. It doesn't matter if you still need help to finish jobs, this is normal. Just show your manager you're fitting in and they'll be happy!

ongarboy · 22-09-2014 5:31pm

OP, if you are failing in or underperforming in hard skill or core tasks then your manager won't be waiting for your 3 month review to bring them up. Any competent manager will bring them up with you as or shortly after they happen to ensure they are addressed asap. The fact this hasn't happened suggests you are doing better than you think you are. We are often our own worst critics!

For soft skills that they may feel you are underperforming in, they may wait for formal review time to discuss with you . (skills like communication, confidence, negotiation, team effort or collaborative skills, timekeeping, the ability to act on your own initiative etc) along with personality traits needed to succeed (eg attitude, drive, ambition etc). This generally won't be discussed to catch you out or in the form of warnings. This will usually be discussed as a form of collaboration on how they can best work with you to address such areas of weakness so that both you and the team/company benefits. Ask them to recommend training courses that you feel might benefit you. (Perhaps ones that involve acquiring confidence, enhanced communication skills and dealing with deadlines might be ones you could check if your training dept offers (if you have such a dept).

Every successful performance appraisal involves giving the employee feedback on an area they can improve. No one is perfect and if you are told there is no area that you need to improve in, then I would question the validity and thoroughness of the appraisal. Therefore, don't take offence if you are informed of areas where you can improve and don't treat the review as an opportunity for management to catch you out. It generally doesn't work like that.

PS - never feel guility asking someone for assistance on something you haven't been shown before or where you haven't already exhausted all avenues to find the answer yourself. Appreciate times that they may be trying to meet their own deadlines and avoid trying to ask during such times. If you are uncomfortable asking a question, start by saying for example you researched this troubleshooting document, that website, this sharepoint etc and found some info but am still unclear as to the particular point you need clarity on. This will impress the person helping you in that you are not asking lazy questions and just using them. Document responses so that you won't ask the same questions twice.

You say you have a lovely team and manager. Count your blessings as difficult work colleagues are usually the most common type of problem raised in this forum.

Stressing out over performance

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