Confused over mixed messages

Right it's my first time posting here having read the thorough and sound advice that has been given to others over the years. I would appreciate input into how to deal with this problem and I am aware that it is not a huge issue on the scale of things but it's playing on my mind.

A bit of background info: I am in my mid 30s and separated for over 16 months having been married to an emotionally and physically abusive man for two years. I chose to leave my husband when the physical abuse became so bad that I was nearly killed. I worked extremely hard on myself after my marraige broke up, attending a psychologist who diagnosed PTSD from the incident but also who identified low self esteem. I attended sessions with her for nine months and can honestly say with her guidance I have turned my life around. I am loving life again, am thinking positively about myself and the future and have never felt more at ease in my life. In other words life is good and I'm looking forward to the future whatever it brings.

So I have put myself back on the dating scene for the last few months and have had a few dates (awful) kissed a few really great guys on nights out (feeling like a teenager again and loving it) and found a new 'friend with benefits' along the way. This friend that I met is the exact opposite of my ex- loves his job, homeowner, intellectual, respectful, same interests.

I am absolutely 100% not interested in a relationship with anyone at the moment- I am enjoying life again for the first time in a long time, I'm enjoying the highs and lows of the dating scene, I'm enjoying the flirting and banter of fri/sat nights in town and I'm enjoying being me for the first time in a very long time.

So my friend and I have seen each other a few times since we first met two months ago- going to each other's houses- take-away, wine, chats, movie and great chemistry. It appeared to me that we were both on the same wavelength- having fun and enjoying each other's company.

Two Fridays ago I received some really out of the blue texts saying he was pissed off, depressed and how he was happier at work. Asked him what was up and he said he hated being single and that his life was ****! I was gobsmacked and sent a few messages of support saying things like every cloud etc etc. We would have briefly discussed our dating history but mainly spent time discussing our interests, work, friends/family etc.

So the next night we were both out separately in town and had organised we would meet later when I had finished up with my mates. I went to meet him and what I had assumed were 'the lads' on a boys night. It turned out that it was an engagement party for one of his friends and all the lads and wives/girlfriends were there. I was gobsmacked when I walked in but felt I hid it well and blended in well. A few of the wives/girlfriends made comments like 'I'm so glad to finally meet you' , 'XXX is such a lovely guy' etc etc. I jokingly gave out to him for not giving me advance warning that it was an engagement party but we ended up having a great night- some PDAs in his friends company and a good aul laugh and boogie! He came home to mine that night and again there was great chemistry and chats. No mention on either of our parts about the odd I hate being single texts from the night before.

Skip forward to Sunday evening and I got a message from him asking if I thought he was messed up because he'd never been in a relationship. He went on to say that he never thought he would be and that it was a guarantee that he always loses interest very early on. I was breezy enough in my responses saying that being in a relationship isn't the be all and end all, to try and think positively etc etc I didn't hear from him over the next few days. I texted him on Wednesday asking him how the positive thinking was going. He responded saying he kept himself busy so that he didn't have time to think about things. We exchanged a few chatty texts and that was that.

I didn't hear from him again all week/weekend which is unusual enough. Over the weekend having talked it out with a few friends I am beginning to think that he thinks I may be looking for a relationship and he is wary of leading me on. We have never discussed the details of what we were doing/expecting from each other. I feel that when we are in each other's company we get on like a house on fire, however when my friend is at home alone after these nights he begins to dwell on things and starts thinking too deeply into things!?!?

I am really enjoying his company and particularly the chemistry between us having been voluntarily celibate for the 14 months prior to meeting him and I don't want to lose this because of a misunderstanding on his side.

One of my friends thinks I should just leave it and if he is interested in continuing the way we are he will be in touch. Another friend thinks I should state clearly that I'm not interested in a relationship and very happy with how things are/were. I can see both points of view however if I opt for not saying anything I think the chances are he's not going to be in touch again and I will lose the good thing we had going. But if I opt for telling him straight that I'm not interested in a relationship and he is then I also lose the good thing we had going!!!!

As I said, I am aware that it really isn't a huge problem in the general scheme of things but I would really like some input into how people think I should proceed.