Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

pinkstars · 26-03-2014 5:51pm

Just about getting through the work day.

This is hell!!!!!!!!!!!

Gremlinertia · 26-03-2014 6:30pm

Jabberwocly, feel bad for you, i'm glad you're lining up an appointment with the doc though.. Is aware or pieta a viable option for you?

Pinkstars, You'll get through, get out when you can and regroup for the evening.

I'm off today and haven't moved from couch. Feeling a bit guilty at being so lazy, but better than wandering about being stupid..

pinkstars · 26-03-2014 6:33pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Jabberwocly, feel bad for you, i'm glad you're lining up an appointment with the doc though.. Is aware or pieta a viable option for you?

Pinkstars, You'll get through, get out when you can and regroup for the evening.

I'm off today and haven't moved from couch. Feeling a bit guilty at being so lazy, but better than wandering about being stupid..

How do you mean regroup? Recoup? lol
I'm still at work anyway so it mustn't be that bad!!!

Hugo Stiglitz · 26-03-2014 6:38pm

pinkstars wrote: »

I think it's best to wait until we feel better about ourselves if we do have issues. I know for a fact after the week I put down I am no way ready. I was doing well for the last year and a half and will happily stay single to avoid any dramas at the moment!!!

A part of me would love to have a close companion through all this but I'd just too much of a F-up presently for any of it. In time I hope though.

pinkstars · 26-03-2014 6:39pm

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

A part of me would love to have a close companion through all this but I'd just too much of a F-up presently for any of it. In time I hope though.

I feel the exact same........

Gremlinertia · 26-03-2014 8:22pm

The slip is on, and i can't halt it.. Ah well.. Curl in ball and stare at tv..

Call Me Jimmy · 26-03-2014 8:31pm

same gremlin, life gone, bed is all that's left.

Hugo Stiglitz · 26-03-2014 9:03pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

The slip is on, and i can't halt it.. Ah well.. Curl in ball and stare at tv..

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

same gremlin, life gone, bed is all that's left.

I hope ye both get through it quickly.

Gremlinertia · 26-03-2014 9:12pm

It'll be a loooooooong night. Even dog is bored with me by now.

handbagmad · 26-03-2014 10:53pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

same gremlin, life gone, bed is all that's left.

Gremlinertia wrote: »

The slip is on, and i can't halt it.. Ah well.. Curl in ball and stare at tv..

Same as cant fight it anymore body and mind too tired. Tried so much to fight the black cloak have to give in and hope for the best

Chiquitita · 27-03-2014 12:13am

Jesus thought I was the only one, in some sort of way its nice to know im not alone with these effin thoughs. Hope that doesnt sound bad

Call Me Jimmy · 27-03-2014 12:22am

Doesn't sound bad, it's the most natural feeling in the world as a human to want to connect/be together through thick and thin.

I just had I think the longest cry of my life, must have been building up a while. Have felt so desperately and existentially alone for so long, with little (most times no) hope of ever experiencing any kind of relationship again, at age 27 that's a lot of lonely years to endure before I eventually expire. It scares the crap out of me and it is impossible to comfort myself

handbagmad · 27-03-2014 1:04am

I just had I think the longest cry of my life, must have been building up a while. Have felt so desperately and existentially alone for so long, with little (most times no) hope of ever experiencing any kind of relationship again, at age 27 that's a lot of lonely years to endure before I eventually expire. It scares the crap out of me and it is impossible to comfort myself[/quote]

Its good U can cry jimmy. Maybe if nothing else it was a small release.
I dont know that I am capable of a full on relationship. I've not had good experiences so far. Pretty much been a door mat

Jabberwocky_I · 27-03-2014 1:15am

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Jabberwocly, feel bad for you, i'm glad you're lining up an appointment with the doc though.. Is aware or pieta a viable option for you?

Unfortunately, I'm living too far away from Pieta at the moment. I went there years ago when I was going through a rough patch and they were amazing. Very supportive.
I could look into Aware and see if there's any groups near me though. Thanks.

I can see that I'm not alone in feeling trapped in this dense brain-fog. I do hope it passes sooner rather than later for you all.

Mister_Happy · 27-03-2014 1:18am

I just watched a YouTube video by eoghan McDermott a young tv presenter talking about mental health. Fair play to him, great to see young people like that opening up & raising awareness.

Video is called 'a little confession' if anyone wants to check it out

Gremlinertia · 27-03-2014 12:00pm

Very broken night. Got annoyed around six this morning so got up.. Stressed about what awaits at work.. I shouldn't be since i haven't heard anything from anyone, but the imagination is funny (oh-oh) thing. This is the sort of thing that makes sure i don't get too close to people..

Chiquitita · 27-03-2014 6:40pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Doesn't sound bad, it's the most natural feeling in the world as a human to want to connect/be together through thick and thin.

I just had I think the longest cry of my life, must have been building up a while. Have felt so desperately and existentially alone for so long, with little (most times no) hope of ever experiencing any kind of relationship again, at age 27 that's a lot of lonely years to endure before I eventually expire. It scares the crap out of me and it is impossible to comfort myself

This.is.exactly.how.I.feel.

Call Me Jimmy · 27-03-2014 6:47pm

me too!

Chiquitita · 27-03-2014 7:06pm

Pardon my language but EFF IT!!!

Hugo Stiglitz · 27-03-2014 7:28pm

Would any of ye date a fellow depressed person?

Chiquitita · 27-03-2014 7:30pm

Well I cant seem to find anyone to date me so i'll never have to worry

Hugo Stiglitz · 27-03-2014 7:31pm

Chiquitita wrote: »

Well I cant seem to find anyone to date me so i'll never have to worry

I didn't mean to rub it in like that Chiquitita, sorry.

Chiquitita · 27-03-2014 7:35pm

Haha you're ok. What I meant is seeing as i'm the way I am and can't get past 1-3 dates I cant imagine meeting someone who's like me would go too well.

Hugo Stiglitz · 27-03-2014 7:38pm

Chiquitita wrote: »

Haha you're ok. What I meant is seeing as i'm the way I am and can't get past 1-3 dates I cant imagine meeting someone who's like me would go too well.

I don't even talk to girls, let alone get dates! lol

Call Me Jimmy · 27-03-2014 7:39pm

Ah eff it as chiquita said at this stage I wouldn't have a problem with it, the problem is believing someone else would find me better than any other person in the world. I think I'm pretty cool apart from the ould appearance which has taken a hell of a shmack since I was young. So yea, if someone was down but had the same world view as me I would, but I wouldn't see myself indulging them, or allowing myself to feel responsible for their feeling.

I have to deal with my own, so they should deal with theirs. But I'm sure companionship could help, so long as neither expects the other to fix them.

Hugo Stiglitz · 27-03-2014 7:42pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Ah eff it as chiquita said at this stage I wouldn't have a problem with it, the problem is believing someone else would find me better than any other person in the world. I think I'm pretty cool apart from the ould appearance which has taken a hell of a shmack since I was young. So yea, if someone was down but had the same world view as me I would, but I wouldn't see myself indulging them, or allowing myself to feel responsible for their feeling.

I have to deal with my own, so they should deal with theirs. But I'm sure companionship could help, so long as neither expects the other to fix them.

Well said Jimmy

Rothko · 27-03-2014 7:43pm

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Would any of ye date a fellow depressed person?

I would.

Hugo Stiglitz · 27-03-2014 7:46pm

Suas11 wrote: »

I would.

I wouldn't rule it out here. Like a part of me thinks like it could be good as they would understand what it is like etc. The flip side of that same coin though is that they would have their own issues.

Chiquitita · 27-03-2014 7:47pm

Yeah Jimmy, agree with that. It'd be great to have someone to tell all your "things" to knowing that they accept you the way you are.
Im determined to make tomorrow a good day, im going to get up early, shower,do my hair, go out wandering the streets looking for dates (just kidding...or am I

Hugo Stiglitz · 27-03-2014 7:47pm

Chiquitita wrote: »

Yeah Jimmy, agree with that. It'd be great to have someone to tell all your "things" to knowing that they accept you the way you are.
Im determined to make tomorrow a good day, im going to get up early, shower,do my hair, go out wandering the streets looking for dates (just kidding...or am I

What streets will you be wondering down?!

:D

Chiquitita · 27-03-2014 7:49pm

I dunno, where do you think would be a good place?!

Hugo Stiglitz · 27-03-2014 7:49pm

Chiquitita wrote: »

I dunno, where do you think would be a good place?!

*location PM'd*

Chiquitita · 27-03-2014 7:54pm

"Nowhere special..."?

Hugo Stiglitz · 27-03-2014 7:56pm

Chiquitita wrote: »

"Nowhere special..."?

Stalker!

:D

Rothko · 27-03-2014 8:07pm

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I wouldn't rule it out here. Like a part of me thinks like it could be good as they would understand what it is like etc. The flip side of that same coin though is that they would have their own issues.

Yeah, I've thought the same. It'd make it difficult but on the other hand I'd have someone that could relate to what I go through and also I might be able to help them too.

Hugo Stiglitz · 27-03-2014 8:08pm

Suas11 wrote: »

Yeah, I've thought the same. It'd make it difficult but on the other hand I'd have someone that could relate to what I go through and also I might be able to help them too.

It could be something very special maybe.

Call Me Jimmy · 27-03-2014 8:15pm

From my experience people who have these kinds of difficulties with life are very open and helpful when together and are very supportive.

My current way of dealing with it is the dream of heading off canoing and camping on my own for a while around ireland. Proper sense of space and hopefully will be soothing for the mind. At the moment planning it in my head is keeping me from the horrible 4-walls-feeling.

I just think it'll be a very therapeutic thing to do, bit of hiking, bit of self-sufficiency cooking my own food, getting a camp set up on a river bed, getting back into some reading and being. Bit of exploring etc.

Hugo Stiglitz · 27-03-2014 8:20pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

From my experience people who have these kinds of difficulties with life are very open and helpful when together and are very supportive.

My current way of dealing with it is the dream of heading off canoing and camping on my own for a while around ireland. Proper sense of space and hopefully will be soothing for the mind. At the moment planning it in my head is keeping me from the horrible 4-walls-feeling.

I just think it'll be a very therapeutic thing to do, bit of hiking, bit of self-sufficiency cooking my own food, getting a camp set up on a river bed, getting back into some reading and being. Bit of exploring etc.

That sounds awesome actually Jimmy

Call Me Jimmy · 27-03-2014 8:23pm

I think it would suit people of our psychological makeup especially. Just got to source some gear and knowledge first. I've got nothing else so when it's all ye have it becomes more 'possible'.

Chiquitita · 27-03-2014 8:34pm

Let's all go camping together :pac:

Hugo Stiglitz · 27-03-2014 8:35pm

Chiquitita wrote: »

Let's all go camping together :pac:

This is an insanely good idea!

Chiquitita · 27-03-2014 9:27pm

What support networks do ye use? Aware meetings? Pieta? Read particular books?

Im sure you've said it a million and one times on this already but I cant remember, sorry

Hugo Stiglitz · 27-03-2014 9:49pm

Chiquitita wrote: »

What support networks do ye use? Aware meetings? Pieta? Read particular books?

Im sure you've said it a million and one times on this already but I cant remember, sorry

I used to frequent Aware quite a bit. Tried GROW before but it wasn't really my thing.

Speaking of books, I found a Little Book of Calm today.

Chiquitita · 27-03-2014 11:55pm

Im in the middle of the Aware cbt groups. Really enjoying it. Also going to Pieta, but only have 2 sessions left which is making me panic as there's a lot of stuff I should be saying to the therapist but cant find the courage and instead im suffering in silence.
Im going to get out of the house for the entire day tomorrow, even if its just to sit in the garden. Im NOT hiding for another 24 hours god damn it!

Chiquitita · 28-03-2014 12:42am

Know that old nugget "what have you got to be depressed about, snap out of it" WELL I challenge them to come live inside my head or have the thoughts I have for 10 minutes and see how they'd like it. I'm pretty certain they too would retreat to the bed!

Call Me Jimmy · 28-03-2014 12:51am

What sort of stuff is your main gripe chiquitita? Focus on small or the whole Big Cake (universe)?

For me a laser focus on the small (an OCD compulsion) causes me to be in isolation which causes me to really think through the universal and the inherent futility. I experience very consciously the fundamental cognitive dissonance: seeking our own significance as insignificant entities.

Chiquitita · 28-03-2014 1:34am

I havent typed it here yet but you've hit the nail on the head. I have existential depression. Like yourself I have ocd which I find brings me more into reality which is comforting yet distressing at the same time.

I've been afraid to say the reasons I find myself in my current state i.e going to pieta, aware, medication etc as im afraid to read peoples reactions.

Thanks for being here though!

handbagmad · 28-03-2014 1:39am

Got some xanax today a short-term but welcome release all the same.
my poor little dog knows im down and is being extra cuddly and sweet bless him x

Gremlinertia · 28-03-2014 2:50am

For me the thoughts that rattle around mostly are the ruminating on mistakes of the past and a self-defeatist view of the future.. I also try to make death a logical option to the point I convince myself that in time humans won't be against people deciding to euthanise themselves, that eventually it'll be normal..

Mainly though I think my various trains of thought are so splintered and mashed into each other at times that I'm confused.. Not really sure though as I've yet to find a counsellor who can do any more than scratch the surface. Hoping to have a better experience this time around with the hospital..

Sorry for rambling and being confusing.

pinkstars · 28-03-2014 8:24am

Is there anyone on Zyprexa? I was getting weird thoughts and valium wasn't even calming me down so I'm up to 7.5 zyprexa. I was on 5 mg ppreviously. As well as the other concoction.

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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