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I HAVE JOBS FOR Y'ALL!!

  • 22-06-2009 4:03pm
    #1
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭


    I have decided I want to open a brothel.....I think Id be a cool pimp.
    With the country on its ar@e & so many people are in dire straits.....would you sell sex for money

    And no I wouldnt......but I would be a pimp :D

    Persons over 18 & under 60 may only apply for positions....all persons will be screened for STI's/STD's.


«1

Comments

  • #2
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    Oh and this is a luxury brothel & we will have security on all doors so it doesnt get nasty


  • #3
    orestes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,972 ✭✭✭orestes


    Maddison wrote: »
    Persons over 18 & under 60 may only apply for positions

    I'm willing to give a few positions a shot, I'm fairly flexible


  • #4
    SV
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    Maddison wrote: »
    all persons will be screened for STI's/STD's.

    *tut*


    discriminatory! :pac:


  • #5
    The Recliner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,630 ✭✭✭The Recliner


    Maddison wrote: »
    I have decided I want to open a brothel.....I think Id be a cool pimp.
    With the country on its ar@e & so many people are in dire straits.....would you sell sex for money

    And no I wouldnt......but I would be a pimp :D

    Persons over 18 & under 60 may only apply for positions....all persons will be screened for STI's/STD's.

    Eh hello, stepping onto my turf are we

    Maybe we can be business partners :p


  • #6
    funk-you
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭funk-you


    Maddison wrote: »
    ....all persons will be screened for STI's/STD's.

    Ah nuts...

    -Funk


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  • #7
    giggsy664
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,457 ✭✭✭giggsy664


    Hire any ball sport players

    They can handle their balls well and they can last x minutes in y amount of postions :P

    Hey hey. Relax. He only said he would be screened for STIs/STDs. He didn't say you would be rejected if you had them :D


  • #8
    Doyler92
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭Doyler92


    I'd love to do it. Only 16 but my id says i'm 19. Count me in. Only for the women though.:D


  • #9
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    Disease ridden AH'ers why arent I surprised:rolleyes:....and Pimpey are you man or woman?


  • #10
    My name is URL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,069 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    Do we have to use the back entrance?


  • #11
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    I will be holding interviews at the next Beers...so read up on the Karma Sutra(or whatever its called)


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  • #12
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    My name is URL wrote: »
    Do we have to use the back entrance?

    Depend on the type of mens/wimmins we get on the payroll


  • #13
    ScumLord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    Maddison wrote: »

    Persons over 18 & under 60 may only apply for positions....
    Your cutting out two of the biggest markets there.


  • #14
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    Maddison wrote: »
    Persons over 18 & under 60 may only apply for positions

    :(:(:( Age-ist


  • #15
    Doyler92
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭Doyler92


    Ye but my id says i'm 19


  • #16
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    Maddison wrote: »
    I HAVE JOBS FOR Y'ALL!!

    I wont be a prozzie but I will take a handjob when it opens, thanks.


  • #17
    The Recliner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,630 ✭✭✭The Recliner


    Maddison wrote: »
    Disease ridden AH'ers why arent I surprised:rolleyes:....and Pimpey are you man or woman?

    Male for what it matters

    I can handle (hehe) the Wimmins and you can look after the men


  • #18
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    Lila Hissing Rapper wrote: »
    I wont be a prozzie but I will take a handjob when it opens, thanks.


    That'll be five euro please sir.

    If I'm too young/ugly to be a manwhore; can I be a receptionist?


  • #19
    Doyler92
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭Doyler92


    Ye I'll do security then with my airsoft G36C. What a machine!


  • #20
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    brummytom wrote: »
    That'll be five euro please sir.

    Actually, no thanks. I've found somebody who can do it far better than anybody else.


  • #21
    mawk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,738 ✭✭✭mawk


    for a nominal fee, ill help you file for a small business loan


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  • #22
    Diabhal Beag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,238 ✭✭✭✭Diabhal Beag


    WTF is this ****? :confused:


  • #23
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Sure. I'm a talented girl. What will you be charging the customers for each service? and what is your cut? o0


  • #24
    Sea Sharp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,593 ✭✭✭Sea Sharp


    I'll be a man-whore if you want.

    But none of that gay stuff.


  • #25
    ScumLord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,789 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    GaNjaHaN wrote: »
    I'll be a man-whore if you want.

    But none of that gay stuff.
    Are you sure? There's a special on spit roasting all this week €9.99. Might as well give it a go for that price.


  • #26
    stiff kitten
    Closed Accounts Posts: 264 ✭✭stiff kitten


    To the sex machine,

    i am writing to apply for the position as "pimp" in your new establishment as advertised on boards.ie.

    i believe i am the most suitable candidate for this postion as I have many years experience. i also graduated for trinity with a first class masters in seduction! I am extremly flexible also. Will work after hours! No training will be necessary!

    i will supply you w ith referees and am currently available for a practical/sti screening,

    yours if you want,
    stiff kitten



    (he he he! ):D:D:D


  • #27
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Yeah sounds intresting , I could do with whoring myself out but only to females .


  • #28
    browner85
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 415 ✭✭browner85


    ill be a man whore ill even do the over 60`s after bingo!!!!!!!!


  • #29
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    Lila Hissing Rapper wrote: »
    Actually, no thanks. I've found somebody who can do it far better than anybody else.


    That's only because he's had so much practice....


  • #30
    BlackWizard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,282 ✭✭✭BlackWizard


    Do I get a free STD scan and health check-up?


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  • #31
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    brummytom wrote: »
    That's only because he's had so much practice....

    Soft hands too. :cool:


  • #32
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    Pimpey wrote: »
    Male for what it matters

    I can handle (hehe) the Wimmins and you can look after the men

    Good idea Pimpey ;)


  • #33
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    As we are a classy brothel, myself & Pimpey will require a 60% cut of any takings. We are hoping to charge top rates but we will have customer satisfaction forms that we will require our clients to fill out on departure. If you are not good at your job we will fire your a$$es.


  • #34
    Agent Smith
    Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 21,504 Mod ✭✭✭✭Agent Smith


    Maddison wrote: »
    I have decided I want to open a brothel.....I think Id be a cool pimp.
    With the country on its ar@e & so many people are in dire straits.....would you sell sex for money

    And no I wouldnt......but I would be a pimp :D

    Persons over 18 & under 60 may only apply for positions....all persons will be screened for STI's/STD's.

    Wouldnt that make you a Madam? rather then a pimp?


  • #35
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    We have our own doctor that will carry out the screenings & we will refer you if your application is successful.


  • #36
    Turd Ferguson
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭Turd Ferguson


    Maddison wrote: »
    I have decided I want to open a brothel.....I think Id be a cool pimp.
    With the country on its ar@e & so many people are in dire straits.....would you sell sex for money

    And no I wouldnt......but I would be a pimp :D

    Persons over 18 & under 60 may only apply for positions....all persons will be screened for STI's/STD's.

    No. Its money for nothing and chicks for free :D


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  • #37
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    Agent Smith wrote: »
    Wouldnt that make you a Madam? rather then a pimp?

    I am the boss & I shall pick my own title Mr Smith thank you very much. Are you here to apply for a position or just to query my choice of occupation.




    :P


  • #38
    Trinity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭Trinity


    Maddison wrote: »
    We have our own doctor that will carry out the screenings & we will refer you if your application is successful.


    And who will be responsible for naming the staff? All prozzies have fake names madam maddison ;)


  • #39
    antodeco
    Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,591 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    I bagsy being in the testing department :pac:


  • #40
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    Paid to get laid....not a bad job imo


  • #41
    The Recliner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,630 ✭✭✭The Recliner


    Turd Ferguson wrote: »
    No. Its money for nothing and chicks for free :D

    Well we are planning on running a Themed/Fetish night

    So you could have Romeo & Juliet or Brothers in Arms (restraints) :p


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  • #42
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    Latchy wrote: »
    Yeah sounds intresting , I could do with whoring myself out but only to females .

    Hmmm, a brothel for female customers only. That gives me an idea...


  • #43
    soups05
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,086 ✭✭✭soups05


    indecent proposal, everyone was asking would you let you wife sleep with him for a million bucks.


    for a million bucks I would have slept with him ffs.


    so in answer to your quest op...yes,if the moneys right. :D


  • #44
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    Trinity wrote: »
    And who will be responsible for naming the staff? All prozzies have fake names madam maddison ;)

    Our staff are free to choose their own names.....we are nice employers :D


  • #45
    Maddison
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,594 ✭✭✭Maddison


    Pimpey wrote: »
    Well we are planning on running a Themed/Fetish night

    So you could have Romeo & Juliet or Brothers in Arms (restraints) :p

    I dont recall organising this Pimpey....please remember to consult your business partner on any business decisions.....or I shall take you to the fully equipped dungeon


  • #46
    Senna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    It all looks so good now, but just wait till the eastern European brothel opens next door and seals all your customers.


  • #47
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    Count me in. :D


  • #48
    seanybiker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,898 ✭✭✭✭seanybiker


    Maddison wrote: »
    As we are a classy brothel, myself & Pimpey will require a 60% cut of any takings
    oops double post


  • #49
    seanybiker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,898 ✭✭✭✭seanybiker


    Maddison wrote: »
    As we are a classy brothel, myself & Pimpey will require a 60% cut of any takings
    You and him want 60%. Sure that 120% boss.

    Did you run in the iranian elections by any chance?


  • #50
    Poccington
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,497 ✭✭✭Poccington


    Count me in, I even have a uniform for the kinky stuff.

    :pac:


  • #51
    chuci
    Closed Accounts Posts: 938 ✭✭✭chuci


    can i do the tests i have the nurses uniform?


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