The Pregnancy Chat Thread!

So the weekend passed. On Monday evening, the kids went to bed, I bounced on the stupid ball, The husband was watching the stupid snooker final on the tv. I looked down at my stomach and noticed it was tightening and then stopping again. This kept happening but there was zero pain so I didn’t think any thing of it. I went to bed. The tightening kept happening but still no pain. I got a feeling that maybe something might happen so I got up again. I spent a couple of hours wandering the house, watching crap middle of the night tv, napping and waiting. Still no pain. By 5am the baby hadn’t been moving a lot so I decided I would wait an hour and go into hospital and get checked out. I decided 6am was a reasonable time to wake my mother in law and we could go to hospital before rush hour started. Woke the husband and we pottered about making lunches and I laid out the three piles of school clothes. The boy came downstairs at 6.15am and we chatted. I phoned mother in law, no answer. Still no sign of labour. I considered maybe my “feeling” was off and that we should go no where. Then the following happened:

6.25am- went into the bathroom, hit by a pain, followed forty seconds later by another one.

6.27am- pain after pain after pain after pain. I barricaded myself into downstairs bathroom.

6.30am- husband knocked on door and asked should he ring an ambulance. I believe my exact words where “don’t be so ****ing ridiculous“

6.32am- walked into hall, looked out at car, realised there was no way I was going anywhere and kindly requested husband ring an ambulance.

Over the following ten minutes. I stayed in the bathroom alone. I remember shouting for some paracetamol at one stage, because you know paracetamol would have sorted the full-blown non stop contractions, right out.For once I was somewhat organised with regards packing my hospital bag. So organised I had gotten the husband to put them in the car. The paracetamol was packed in the hospital bag in the car, no wonder the husband couldn’t find them but sure it gave him something do to. I could hear my mother in law arriving and the children moving around and getting ready and then leaving. When they left, I stood and looked at myself in the mirror and decided I would have the baby now. Just like that, like I done this everyday. I don’t think I felt an overwhelming need to push more an overwhelming need for the pain to stop.I was very calm and felt very in control and had zero fear. This was the first labour I went through where I did not hit the “Sweet Jesus. Make It Stop. I CANNOT DO IT” stage. I called the husband and asked him to get more towels. He did. He then went back to doing whatever he was doing. I got down on the ground and pushed, once. I felt the baby’s head,so, called the husband back. Then we had the most surreal conversation

“I need you to get down on the floor with me“

“Ok“

“I am going to push now and the baby is going to come and you need to catch her“

“Ok” he replied. I will be forever grateful for his complete calmness too.

It was very quiet. I pushed. The baby arrived. The husband caught her. It was blissfully simple. She was just there, wide eyes staring around, covered in mess, spiky hair and looking to , our untrained eyes, as she should. We wrapped her up in towels. I sat down on the floor, she started to cry, we probably did too.

Total time from first pain to her arrival about 18 minutes. Whilst her birth at home was unplanned it was ideal. No bright lights, no negotiation or politics, no unfamiliar faces or hospital rooms.She arrived at 6.44am into a completely quiet peaceful house with her parents pretending they knew what they were doing. It could not have been more perfect.

The ambulance arrived ten minutes later, for all our sakes, I am glad they did not arrive before hand.They said at least 14 times “Glad you didn’t give birth in the back of the ambulance” . They didn’t exactly blue light it here and there were no sirens. To be fair , when the husband rang 999, I assume the dispatcher asked how long I had been having pains and he probably was sniggering with his hand over the phone when the husband replied five minutes. The paramedic asked the husbands permission for me to cut the cord ( seriously). I sent the husband to get me knickers upstairs, he came back with a thong, seriously again. Coincidentally the same thong I naively wore into hospital to have my first daughter 8 years earlier. I kept them as they are lucky knickers but not to actually wear them again and certainly not to wear them after just giving birth. The big huge knickers were safely packed in the hospital bag, in the car, obviously, to teach me some lesson for trying to pretend to be an organised person. I think I possibly waved the ginormous maternity pad at him and the thong and asked him how they would possibly work. I digress. The paramedics arrival ruined the calmness clearly. They asked was the baby a boy or a girl. A girl we both said. Then the husband looked at me, neither of us had thought to check was she actually a girl, we couldn’t take our eyes off her face. Familiar but new and so ridiculously beautiful and perfect.

We went to hospital, we got checked over, we came home shortly afterwards.

We lost a lot of towels and gained another perfect child and a sensational amazing memory. It was incredible.