Newbie, first time writing

Carra23 · 15-06-2013 12:12am #1

I've never tried writing before but I've always had an urge since I was a kid and participated in the first, sorry my first MS Readathon when I was about 6 or 7 ! Love reading and would read a book about anything.

Have had an idea for a book for a while and toyed with it on and off but decided to give it a go. Rough start below and opinions welcome, though I acknowledge there is not a lot to go on there.

The story will be a bit of a caper, fictional based on real events and some characters based on real people.

The Book
Chapter 1: Intro

In the sleepy village of Moyvane, Co Kerry, south west of Ireland, there is a suffocating tension in the air. This part of the emerald isle is famed for the friendly atmosphere, where strangers from the four corners of the globe, can expect nothing less than a ‘céad mile failte’, a hundred thousand welcomes, but not tonight.

The community of Moyvane, who are usually as tight as a nun’s you know what, are deeply divided on an issue of grave importance to all who hail from this beautiful village. There is a congregation holding court in the lounge of ‘Enright’s Bar’ on Main Street, to discuss the best course of action should the expected, but dreaded, decision be announced by the Irish Government the following day.

Amongst the crowd gathered are men and women from all manner of life, bakers, shop keepers, teachers, mechanics and such like. The debate is engaging, enthusiastic and sometimes frightening, this brought on by the voice of the most influential and respected man in Moyvane, Don Vaughan. Don, at 82 years of age, is a man who has lived in the village all his life and has seen more of the comings and goings than most present this evening. Viewed by many as the elder statesman if you like, and often called upon by locals, who seek to probe his insightful mind, in an effort to grasp at some of his seemingly oracle like wisdom.

shamrock55 · 15-06-2013 12:18am

I want to know what this meeting is about now!

Carra23 · 15-06-2013 12:34am

shamrock55 wrote: »

I want to know what this meeting is about now!

Thanks for the reply and suppose that's encouraging ? I reckon the point of writing is to intrigue the reader, keep them interested.

donalh087 · 15-06-2013 12:43pm

Very nice writing but, IMHO, the reference to a nuns you know what is completely out of place. I imagine a large portion of readers would stop right there. I would.

MagicMarker · 15-06-2013 1:01pm

That part didnt strike as in anyway out of place. I can't possibly imagine what makes you think a "large portion" of readers would stop there.

Op, I like it. But really you need to post a lot more for anyone to come to any solid conclusions. However, I am intrigued, and would like to read on.

Carra23 · 15-06-2013 1:22pm

MagicMarker wrote: »

@donalh - Thanks for the reply. In those short 3 paragraphs that phrase may seem inappropriate but I have a whole story in my head and in the grand scheme of things the phrase is very important. My idea is humorous, satirical, caper and that sentence helps set that tone. I was going to and probably still will say ' nun's f@#ny'

@ magic marker- Thanks for the reply. When you're writing for the first time its nice to get positive comments, even on such a short piece. As I said above ive a story in my head which I believe will be very funny, thats if I can get it out and onto paper. That's the hard part !

nervous_twitch · 15-06-2013 1:25pm

It's an interesting premise but reads a bit like a blurb - as in, this is what your story is about, but not actually your story. Maybe it's just a personal/stylistic thing, but I find reading in the present tense a bit jarring. I'd imagine it's also difficult to maintain. Why not start at the meeting and let what kind of town it is etc fall somewhere into the narrative? 'Show don't tell' blah blah.

You should post more OP.

Phantasos · 16-06-2013 1:17pm

nervous_twitch wrote: »

It's an interesting premise but reads a bit like a blurb - as in, this is what your story is about, but not actually your story. Maybe it's just a personal/stylistic thing, but I find reading in the present tense a bit jarring. I'd imagine it's also difficult to maintain. Why not start at the meeting and let what kind of town it is etc fall somewhere into the narrative? 'Show don't tell' blah blah.

You should post more OP.

Yeah I agree, there's a distant narrative voice telling the story. I'm not sure if that's the style you're going for, or if you're actually going to introduce a character whose point-of-view you'd like to use.

We'd have to see more of the story to determine if the writing style is right or not.

Carra23 · 16-06-2013 9:33pm

Nervous Twitch, Phantasos, thanks for the replies. You mention writing styles, I don't know what writing styles are ! I know nothing in a formal sense about writing, sure I left school with a very average Junior Cert.

I haven't added to what I posted the other day but intend to continue now for a short while and what follows is some dialogue, discussion between those assembled for the meeting. I will post it for the craic when I'm done.

Thanks again for all your replies, much appreciated.

Carra23 · 16-06-2013 10:42pm

The Book
Chapter 1: Intro

In the sleepy village of Moyvane, Co Kerry, south west of Ireland, there is a suffocating tension in the air. This part of the emerald isle is famed for the friendly atmosphere, where strangers from the four corners of the globe, can expect nothing less than a ‘céad mile failte’, a hundred thousand welcomes, but not tonight.

The community of Moyvane, who are usually as tight as a nun’s you know what, are deeply divided on an issue of grave importance to all who hail from this beautiful village. There is a congregation holding court in the lounge of ‘Enright’s Bar’ on Main Street, to discuss the best course of action should the expected, but dreaded, decision be announced by the Irish Government the following day.

Amongst the crowd gathered are men and women from all manner of life, bakers, shop keepers, teachers, mechanics and such like. The debate is engaging, enthusiastic and sometimes frightening, this brought on by the voice of the most influential and respected man in Moyvane, Don Vaughan. Don, at 82 years of age, is a man who has lived in the village all his life and has seen more of the comings and goings than most present this evening. Viewed by many as the elder statesman if you like, and often called upon by locals, who seek to probe his insightful mind, in an effort to grasp at some of his seemingly oracle like wisdom.

In the centre of the lounge, Don is seated at a low table and flanked by his three comrades, Dinny O’Connor, Jim McCarthy and Migs McMahon. The four had dominated the evenings encounter, as they had more interest than most in the hotly anticipated Government announcement. Don Vaughan is a placid man, a wise owl who can usually hold his composure through the most testing of situations but tonight he had deviated from his true form. That’s not to suggest that he was ranting and raving like a volcano on the verge of erupting hot molten lava, which would not be his style. Only those who know the man could sense the fire raging in his belly. The subtle change from holding his short, round whisky glass gently between thumb and forefinger, to grasping it firmly with his whole hand, was an indication that trouble was brewing in his mind.

“Now Don lets not get too carried away, sure we haven’t seen the list yet “ peeped Cillian Lawlor Principal of Moyvane national school.

“Finished if he gets it, finished if he doesn’t “ whispered Don Vaughan.

“He’s one of ours and he’ll not let us down, I know he won’t. He knows he’d be besht off emigrating than anything else. He couldn’t show his face in Moyvane again and he knows that. He’ll come up with a plan” declared Dinny O’Connor, Don’s longtime friend.

“Finished if he gets it, finished if he doesn’t “ repeated Don.

“Well I’ve had enough now o this carry on “ chipped in Migs McMahon. “ We can talk about this till the cows come home but sure we’re pluckin a fiddle in the dark till we see that feckin lisht “ continued Migs. “ Why not call it a night now lads and we’ll sort all this out tomorrow after the press conference “.

And so it was, after an eventful evening with some harsh words spoken and some militant views aired, the crowd that had gathered in Enrights Bar in an effort to formulate a streamlined approach to the upcoming news, dispersed for the night to ponder their position. The outcome unknown, but to be sure, the following day would see friendships ended, families in despair and the village of Moyvane plunged into an acrimonious atmosphere that would be sure to linger for months to come.................................

I will rework that a little bit, expand the dialogue and stuff like that. Comments welcome.

Cheers,

Carra23

Brian Lighthouse · 17-06-2013 2:18pm

I like it.
keep it up.
don`t shtop at all.

If you`re curious about narrative styles, you are using the omnipotent narrator. This narrator knows eveything about everybody and they are telling us the story. That is probably the most common form of narration and I think it`s working well for you.

Keep writing and get the story finished. You could copy and paste John Banville or Hillary Mantel on this page and someone will find something wrong with it. You are the story teller of your story. Keep it that way.

When it`s finished glaring errors can be fixed. It`s very easy to get bogged down fixing and editing during the story.

Most importantly have fun.

Carra23 · 17-06-2013 6:29pm

Brian Lighthouse wrote: »

I like it.
keep it up.
don`t shtop at all.

If you`re curious about narrative styles, you are using the omnipotent narrator. This narrator knows eveything about everybody and they are telling us the story. That is probably the most common form of narration and I think it`s working well for you.

Keep writing and get the story finished. You could copy and paste John Banville or Hillary Mantel on this page and someone will find something wrong with it. You are the story teller of your story. Keep it that way.

When it`s finished glaring errors can be fixed. It`s very easy to get bogged down fixing and editing during the story.

Most importantly have fun.

Cheers Brian I appreciate the reply. The positive replies have encouraged me to give it a proper go. Hard to find the time between FT work, distance education and sporting commitments but I was gona set target of 3/4 pages a night, 4 nights of the week. Is it a bad idea to set targets ? Im very organised and believe plans are essential to get things done

Brian Lighthouse · 17-06-2013 7:49pm

Your Welcome Carra,

That`s a hard one to answer.
What are you most comfortable with?
Yes, The man with the plan wins.

Best of luck and have fun.
Brian

echo beach · 17-06-2013 8:36pm

Carra23 wrote: »

Cheers Brian I appreciate the reply. The positive replies have encouraged me to give it a proper go. Hard to find the time between FT work, distance education and sporting commitments but I was gona set target of 3/4 pages a night, 4 nights of the week. Is it a bad idea to set targets ? Im very organised and believe plans are essential to get things done

The only people who get anything written are the ones who make a realistic plan and stick reasonably closely to it. You can always make time for anything you really want to do.
Meanwhile some of us are on the internet while our masterpiece waits patiently to get onto paper.:o

I'm curious to know what your story is about. You have paced it well and built up the tension. I loved the way you showed how the man was feeling inside by pointing out that the way he held his glass had changed. Personally, I don't like some of the phrases like 'fire raging in his belly' or 'trouble brewing in his mind' but as Brian says those are things to look at later. For now concentrate on telling the story.

Carra23 · 17-06-2013 10:21pm

Thanks again for all the replies. I plan to stick my head into this for the summer. I don't start back in college till Sept so my best chance to make a dint in it is now. If it goes well I may post some more for feedback.

Carra 3

Carra23 · 20-06-2013 10:14pm

The 4 pages a night plan isn't going to plan ! Just can't find time every night to write. I have finished 5 pages though, approx 2,300 words and hope to finish the 1st chapter over the weekend if what I'm assuming is correct, that if you are lucky enough to finish and publish a book, 5 A4 pages on MS Word is 10 if your book is printed A5 ?

alfa beta · 21-06-2013 11:58am

hey carra - 4 pages a night is a tall order

i'm in the middle of a novel now and I'd consider it great going if I got four pages i was any way happy with after one writing session

if you're not hitting your target, set a more realistic one - 1 or two pages say

okay so you're story will take longer to write - so what!

as regards word count and stuff - it looks to me like your average printed novel these days has about 300 words per page - so if you set up your word doc at double spacing, using times new roman at 12, you'll probably end up approximating that per a4 page (I think)

also - your writing above is pretty good - but y'know, a little practice might be an idea before you crack into a big 'novel' project - short stories during the summer maybe....get some practice in....hone and improve your skills....I'm not being negative or anything, but I just feel a lot of people seem to try and run before they can walk when it comes to creative writing. And there's nothing worse than the discouragement of rejection after spending months trying to achieve something. (Been there of course!!! my first attempt at writing creatively was tackling a horror novel - I've long since thrown the manuscript in the fire, it was soooooooo awful!! At the time of course I thought it was the bees knees....)

there's nothing wrong with taking your time - you'll only get better!

Carra23 · 21-06-2013 7:22pm

I hear ye Alfa Beta but I suppose my view is that you can have the best creative writing skills in the world but without a good story you have diddly squat. And if you have a great story, its interesting, funny or gripping whatever the case may be but your style is rough around the edges, well that's easy to improve or edit. It would be far harder to make a crap story that's written well a viable product.

I understand what I posted so far is my first attempt at writing and a short piece at that but I have the whole story mapped out in my head and the reason I believe it will work is because it is not a complete fabrication from my imagination, it is based on real factual events that have caused great controversy in Irish society and I plan to bring them together in a story and exaggerate a little bit.

Ye see I've nothing to lose because I'm only investing my time so if I spend a couple of months attempting this project and get lost in the middle or make it to the end and it turns out crap, its no hassle. I would continue to post more as I go but no point in that either, that would be boring eventually. I will come back though as I make progress to update.

Thanks for the advice Alfa Beta, I'm grateful.

kerryguy78 · 22-06-2013 7:42pm

i'm from Moyvane and enjoy a few beers in Enrights bar from time to time

Carra23 · 23-06-2013 5:25pm

kerryguy78 wrote: »

i'm from Moyvane and enjoy a few beers in Enrights bar from time to time

So hello to Don Vaughan for me next time your in !

Carra23 · 24-08-2013 12:41am

Well the plan of writing 4 pages per night was great in theory, I'm sure all the experienced writers here had a good laugh at that post. Life kind of got in the way of that plan!

Still plugging away at the story though, just shy of 6,500 words. Just wondering what is considered a good milestone when you are writing ? Most I'd written before I started this project was 2,000 words for college assignments so pleased with what I have but I think goals or targets are good for motivation.

I guess in writing you are telling a story so you can't box yourself in with word counts per chapter but is there an average or a point you should not cross ?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks,

Carra23