Celebrity Life: A new show currently in scripting production

Sorry if this is not the right forum btw.

I am currently writing this show 'Celebrity Life'. You can see what I have for the first episode's script below. Basically, it is a comedy sitcom based on a family of "celebrities" and it shows audiences that a celebrity life is not much different compared to the "average person".

Characters

Vincent Blair (Mod Snip) – A rich-oblivious celebrity who always looks for more jobs to earn money. He currently works as an actor, singer, songwriter, pianist and teacher. He has a wife named Ashley. He can be oblivious but in a very funny way. He likes to play his songs at clubs along with friends.

Ashley Blair (Mod Snip) - A kind-hearted woman who always looks out for her family and adores her husband Vincent. Even though she is very kind, she can be bossy at times. She is currently a teacher. (Mod Snip)

Nora Blair (Mod Snip) – The sweethearted elderly mother of Vincent who always looks out for him since her husband died. She is so kind to the rest of the Blair family. Nora is normally seen at her chair in the sitting room relaxing although she is a retired singer. (Mod Snip)

Jonas Blair (Mod Snip) – The oldest of the Blair's children. Jonas is a very strong man who often works out and is also a famous athlete. He is often shown playing soccer and hurling nearly every day. He has a wife named Connie. (Mod Snip)

Calvin Blair (Mod Snip) – The youngest of the Blair's children. Calvin is a semi-pro skateboarder who spends most of the time in the park improving his skills on the skateboard to fulfill his ambission as a professional skateboarder. Calvin is most-known for his extreme temper. (Mod Snip)

Chanel Blair (Mod Snip) – The oldest of the girls but younger than Jonas. Chanel is a make-up artist and a model. She is often-known for having many different types of hairdues. Her ambission is to become Ms. World. Chanel is very much into cars. (Mod Snip)

Naomi McMillan (Mod Snip) – The youngest of the girls but older than Calvin. Naomi is a full-time mother and minds children from the extended family. She is a chef by trade. She has a husband named Gordon. (Mod Snip)

Connie Blair (Mod Snip) – Jonas' girlfriend. Connie is known to be a professor of hairdressing. Jonas & Connie first met each other at school. Connie is a mad and crazy lunatic. At times, she can be very caring for her family and Jonas. (Mod Snip)

Aimee Blair (Mod Snip) – Jonas & Connie's only daughter/child. Aimee is a very good looking young model who loves dancing and supporting her uncle Vincent on his tours. She is shown to be very mad. (Mod Snip)

Gordon McMillan (Mod Snip) – Gordon is a security guard and the owner of a security firm. At times, he can be very lazy and selfish but very good to his family as he is very protective of them. (Mod Snip)

Others

Wayne Hennessy (Mod Snip) – Wayne is a comedy genius who is Vincent's best friend. Wayne is shown to be extremely crazy at nearly everything he does. He works as a clown for parties. (Mod Snip)

Rusty Nuts (Mod Snip) – Rusty is an obese hippie that doesn't shower often. He is very loud-mouthed but also shown to be very funny. Despite his troublesome ways, he is Jonas' best friend. Rusty works at a petrol station and spends his money on chicken fillet rolls and is a heavy smoker which makes him very unfit. (Mod Snip)

Ruby Nuts (Mod Snip) – Ruby is a beautiful model who always gets nearly every boy's attention when she shows off her looks. She currently works as an athlete who plays soccer. (Mod Snip)

Dave Hennessy (Mod Snip) – Dave is like a twin to Wayne as he is extremely funny except Dave works as a DJ and he is very good at it. Dave is also Wayne's closest and favourite cousin. (Mod Snip)

Christina Quinn (Mod Snip) – Christina is a rather sassy-like slut who works as an allowance girl at O’Shea’s Pub. She is best friends with Vincent but hates Ashley to the bone, considering they talk cheeky to each other. (Mod Snip)

"Where It All Begins"

(All the characters are standing in a line saying who they are)
Vincent : Hey I'm Vincent, I'm a singer/songwriter/actor/pianist/teacher.
Ashley : Hey I'm Ashley, I'm a teacher too.
Nora : Hey I'm Nora, I'm a retired singer.
Jonas : Hey I'm Jonas, I'm a mad git and a great athlete.
Calvin : Hey I'm Calvin and I'm the new Tony Hawk.
Chanel : Hey I'm Chanel and I'm Ms. World.
Naomi : Hey I'm Naomi and I'm a grand chef.
Connie : Hey I'm Connie and I'm a professor of hairdressing.
Aimee : Hey I'm Aimee and I'm a model.
Gordon : Hey I'm Gordon and if you break into concerts, you're DEADMEAT!
Wayne : Hey I'm Wayne and I'm extremely crazy.
Rusty : Hey I'm Rusty and I love chicken fillet rolls, yumm!
Ruby : Hey I'm Ruby and I'm a beauty.
Dave : Hey I'm Dave and I'm a classic DJ!
(The theme music starts)
(The scene shows Vincent talking to his girlfriend Ashley)
Vincent : Baby when can we get married?
Ashley : Ah honey, I just like to take it slow and do you not like taking it slow?
Vincent : No! I wish we got married, cause I love everything about you and I just think you're so perfect to be my wife.
Ashley : You're such a charmer cupcake.
Vincent : Hey but it's true!
Ashley : (Blush on her face)
(Jonas walks in to the kitchen)
Jonas : Hey what's going down?
Vincent : Ashley won't marry me.
Ashley : Now Vincent I didn't say I won't marry you, I just said it's better when we take it slow.
Jonas : Vincent I know you two will be married someday, cause can't you tell that she loves you as much as you love her?
Vincent : Yes I can.
(Thunder strikes outside and the rain starts)
Vincent : Ah **** sake, the weather lied to me again! I'll ****in' kill met eireann.
Ashley : Vincent why don't you join the weather team? Since you keep looking for more jobs?
Vincent : I'm afraid I can't baby, I didn't study physics back in school which is bull****.
Jonas : Who cares da, just lie to them and then you have the job!
Vincent : I tried lying at other jobs before Jonas but all I did was get into more trouble. You see I was such a bad boy back in school that the only subject I was really interested in was music.
Ashley : Then how are you a maths teacher?
Vincent : Because I did honours maths, I didn't say I was crap at work in school?
(Calvin quickly comes in and clatters the door closed since the rain was extremely heavy)
Calvin : Mammy, I nearly got drenched out there, why didn't ya tell me this before I went to the skate park?
Ashley : I'm sorry honey, met eireann were taking the piss.
Calvin : Oh met eireann, they wanna get mother nature down here now and teach 'em what's going on!
Jonas : I know right Calvin what's the deal with them?
Calvin : Anyway, Vincent can you sing me a song please?
Vincent : Sure, here I go. Day n night I just imagine how you put your love on me, lights off, lights on, ready for some action, baby come and give it to me, cause I'm a FREEEAK! The way you poppin' and droppin' all over me, no I don't want you to stop it, yeah I'm a FREEAK! Baby I can't lie when you move like that, I got a one track mind, cause I'm a FREEEAK!
(They all start dancing crazy)
Vincent : Cause I'm a FREEAK!, yeah.
Jonas : Very good da, you're brilliant!
Ashley : Hey baby, why don't you do a deal with a record company or something and you'll become a worldwide singer!
Jonas : Yeah da, you're amazing!
Vincent : Well.... I'm still not ready, give me a month and we'll see.
(Dave and Wayne come in unexpectedly)
Dave : Hey I heard Vincent singing, can I produce for him?
Ashley : Vincent was just singing for us and you can produce his songs when he does a deal with a record company.
Dave : Ah man, that's not cool, Vincent how haven't you still gotten a record label yet?
Vincent : I like to take it slow just like Ashley likes to take our life slow of getting married.
Wayne : Calvin you wanna play Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 since it's lashing?
Calvin : Sure, that's a great idea to pass the time.
(Calvin and Wayne go up to Calvin's room and play Call of Duty on his xbox while Dave, Ashley and Vincent are chatting in the kitchen)
Dave : So what? I have to wait another month? Vincent sometimes it's just better to get on with it.
Ashley : Hey Dave, Vincent can do what he wants.
Dave : Are you getting cheeky with me Ashley?
Ashley : No I'm just saying, Vincent has the right to choose what he wants to do.
Dave : Oh sorry, I just really get annoyed at people being cheeky to me.
Vincent : Dave, you wanna hit the bar later?
Dave : Sure wouldn't mind having shots.
Ashley : Vincent you've been going to the bar a lot lately and you said you were going to watch The Notebook with me?
Vincent : Oh yeah I did, sorry Dave maybe some other time.
Dave : Ok no problem bro.
(Naomi arrives at home)
Naomi : Hey I'm home and I brought you some of my greatest masterpieces. Vincent I made you mega chicken balls which are double the size of normal chicken balls. Ashley I made you, your favourite.
(Rusty and Ruby knock on the door and come in after Ashley opens the door)
Ruby : Hey, you wouldn't believe what happened today and yum I smell food! Naomi you're such a masterchef.
Rusty : I think I can smell a chicken fillet roll!
Naomi : That's right Rusty and I made one just in case you would show up since you have a great sense of smell.
Rusty : Thanks a lot Naomi, yumm! Best one yet!
Ashley : Hello! What's my food?
Naomi : Oh yeah, Ashley I made you croquettes, a chicken burger and a donut.
Ashley : Well that's alright but not what I was expecting.
Ruby : 'Eh em you wouldn't believe what happened today?
Naomi, Dave, Vincent and Ashley : What happened?
Ruby : I got a job as a model and became the athlete of the year in my soccer club.
Vincent : That's nice Ruby, hey how about you ask Aimee for some tips because she's already a model and she's only 10.
(Connie walks in)
Vincent : Why you have such a sour puss on your face, Jess?
Connie : Vincent I’ll ****in’ kill you.
Naomi : Now, Connie calm your tits, this is not a political discussion.
Jonas : Where’s my running gear mommy, I need to get back jogging as I’m getting out of shape.
Ashley : It’s in the sitting room dear and no Jonas you look like a tank!
Jonas : Ha thanks ma. It means a lot.
(The Blairs and McMillans are seen drinking in a nearby bar to the house)
Ashley : Here Christina, give me some shots on the house.
Christina : Excuse me the ****in’ cheek of you, do I look like an ATM machine?
Ashley : ‘Em yes.
Christina : Why you, I’ll kick you so hard up that booty, it will reach up to your mouth.
Ashley : Ok jesus, how I do get a pint of Guinness ‘round here?
Vincent : Here you, Christina give me a booty dance.
Christina : Okay
Ashley : Vincent! What are you doing with this hag?
Christina : Excuse me, what did you say? I’m a hag, is that it?
Ashley : Yeah you’re a hag, no wait you’re not, you’re a slut!
Christina : Come here smarty pants and I’ll give you a hard wack.
Vincent : I have ladies fighting after me, this is surely my night.
Ashley : Christina, I don’t wanna fight but you know you’re a slut and that’s the end of it!
Christina : A fight? This is not a fight, it’s a ****in’ war and you got one!
Ashley : I don’t want a fight or a war?
Christina : Well tough you got one and Christiany is gonna win!
Ashley : What the **** is Christiany?
Christina : It’s a pun of Christina and Germany relating to World War 2 ya dumbass.
Ashley : I was only asking a question?
Christina : No you weren’t you said what the ****.
Ashley : Yeah asking a question?
(Ashley walks away and talks to Naomi whilst Christina gives Vincent the ride of his life)
Ashley : Vincent is acting like a selfish bastard Naomi.
Naomi : No he’s not, he’s just enjoying his night with Christina. Like you two are partners and Vincent would never cheat on you, because he loves you too much.
Ashley : Are you sure?
Naomi : I’m always sure of everything!
Vincent : Oh Christina, oh god, oh Christina! Yeah more more! Feel that booty!
Christina : You like it Vincent?
Vincent : Like it? I love it!
Christina : Oh goodie.
Ashley : Vincent!
Vincent : What?
Ashley : What the hell are you doing?
Vincent : Having the ride of my life? What does it look like I’m doing?
Ashley : You are getting out of here, NOW!
Vincent : You can’t tell me what to do, I’m even a year older than you.
Ashley : Oh yes I can, I’m your partner and don’t forget that!
Vincent : Just because you’re my partner doesn’t mean you have to be a sassy bitch to me.
Ashley : Sassy bitch ay? How dare you call me that ya selfish prick after all the crap I have done for you. You should be at least thanking me, not trying to be a cocksucker to me.
Vincent : Thanking you for what? Naomi does the cooking, I do the cleaning and everything else around the house while you sit your fat ass on that chair beside what you call a teacher’s desk.
Ashley : Stop taking credit for everything, you did not do the work. All you do is sit in your room and move a pencil around your desk on your manuscript paper while I teach kids to become MATURE adults unlike you.
Vincent : Here get out now cause this is my house. You go and live on the streets for I’d care, goodbye.
(Vincent closes the door after throwing out Ashley)
Ashley : Come back here you, ya selfish brat and let me back in or I’ll call the police and tell them you threw me out of MY house.
(Ashley calls the police on her cell phone)
Random guy : Ha that old hag has a cell phone, poor woman. The iPhone is the tops!
Ashley : Hey, police I’d like to report that I’ve been just thrown out of MY own house by my partner.
Police man : Okay (weird report?), what’s the name?
Ashley : Ashley, Ashley Blair of 79 Gracepark Avenue.
Police man : Okay, well we’ll be on our way soon Ashley.
(Ashley waits boringly for over 25 minutes for the police and soon they finally arrived)
Ashley : Finally! Can you get Vincent to open the door?
Police man : Yeah but we can do better than that.
(The police throw a grenade towards the door)
Ashley : Hey that was unnecessary. You could of just forced Vincent to open the door and threaten him that he would go to jail for a long time because he illegally locked out his partner.
Police man : Nah that’d be work and I hate work!
Vincent : Hey what are you cop dopes doing here at my house?
Police man : You are under oath because of lying to Ashley that this is your house. Now tell me the truth.
Vincent : I am telling you the truth, Ashley is the one lying!
Police man : Where’s the evidence to show that I can believe you? Oh looks like you don’t have any ya poor idiot.
Vincent : Me an idiot, you take that back! Here’s the certificate to show that I OWN this house and it is MY property. Ha Ashley!
Police man : Well it’s in fine print which means you go to jail Ashley for telling the cops a big lie that was certainly a funny joke to you.
Ashley : No, Vincent threw me out of the house at least.
Police man : Yeah he is entitled to do that as he bought the house and you didn’t. Now come on.
Ashley : Hey this is very unfair!
Police man : It’s the law, I just enforce them.
(Ashley gets her hands into handcuffs and is taken away to jail)
Vincent : Ugh finally, peace.
(Vincent starts writing songs for over 2 days and I’m gonna skip to 2 days later, cause this is boring)
Vincent : Jonas!
Jonas : Yeah da.
Vincent : You wanna go hit the bar or go to St. Anne’s Park?
Jonas : St. Anne’s Park of course!
Vincent : Why of course?
Jonas : ‘Cause ya know me, the sporty genius! Can we go Pitch and Putt?
Vincent : Sure.
Jonas : Yeah, sound!
(Jonas and Vincent go on out to St. Annes in the car and soon arrive)
Jonas : Alright Vincent, I’ll let you go first.
Vincent : Okay.
(Jonas and Vincent play Pitch and Putt for a few minutes)
Jonas : Nice shot.
Vincent : Thanks, did ya know when I was your age, I won 5 medals and 1 trophy doing Pitch and Putt in Irishtown.
Jonas : Irishtown, where’s that?
Vincent : In Ringsend.
Jonas : Oh and that’s awesome da.
Vincent : They don’t call me pitcher putter Woods for nothing!
Jonas : Is that a reference to Tiger Woods?
Vincent : Yeah, good ain’t it?
Jonas : Yeah da, you’re amazing!
Vincent : I know I am, uhh! (shows off his arm muscles)
Jonas : Da, how did you get so good at Pitch and Putt?
Vincent : I kept going to this park once a week during my adolescence. The teens used to say, ha Vincent you’ll never win anything, you’re a big fat loser! Hahahahahahahaha. Well ya know what, if ya keep believing anything can come true. Like look at me now, I am a singer and have 5 medals and 1 trophy because of doing all that practice in Pitch and Putt every week and it paid off.
Jonas : Wow da, you must of had it very tough.
Vincent : Yeah it was tough, long and hard but it was worth it!
Jonas : Ha you said long and hard.
Vincent : Oh yeah so I did, hahahahaha.
Jonas : Anyway, when is Ashley coming out of jail?
Vincent : I don’t know probably forever with that perfect body.
Jonas : Da did you hear what you just said?
Vincent : No what?
Jonas : You admitted that Ashley has a perfect body and thus you miss her.
(Vincent pouts for a moment)
Vincent : Yeah and? What are you gettin’ at Jonas?
Jonas : You miss Ashley and you know it.
Vincent : Of course I do but she was being a bitch to me forcing me what to do. I have the right to have some fun once in a while. I don’t care if she hates Christina or not, me and her do have some great fun together – messing. If Ashley can’t understand that it’s messing, she is ****ing crazy.
Jonas : Da.... I’d advise you not to do something like this again. After all, look how many babies you have raised together and I still can’t believe you’s aren’t married!
Vincent : Maybe you’re right Jonas. After all, I can be very oblivious at times and I don’t even notice. I will go to the police tomorrow and see when is Ashley allowed out.
Jonas : Okay.
(The scene shows the very next day when Jonas and Vincent arrive at the police station)
Vincent : Here you, when is Ashley allowed out?
Police : She will be allowed out any time once you pay a fine but if you don’t want to pay the fine, you’d have to wait ‘til 2 months. The fine by the way is €4,000. If you pay €2,000 now, you have to wait only 1 month.
Vincent : OMG, you robbin’ bastards. Oh alright, here I give you my cheque I just got from CDBaby for selling my music. I am still not with a record label unfortunately.
Police : Hey wait, are you Vincent? Vincent the “Cheez Toe”?
Vincent : Yeah that’s me. How did ya not recognise me? After all, my good looks are certainly visible to your eyes. Aren’t they?
Police : Sorry for the ignorance Cheez Toe but you are looking absolutely fabulous and I love your music. Can you sign my arm?
Vincent : Sure but I’ll need something in return.
Police : What’s that?
Vincent : Let me off the fine and let Ashley out.
Police : Sorry that is against the law. However, I think you belong in that jail cell as well because you stole my heart ya chick magnet.
(The female police lock Vincent in the cell with Ashley whilst the male police are gone for a moment and Jonas is out having a smoke)
Vincent : Hey what the **** is wrong with you?
Police : Nothing... we just love you too much. You are never escaping us you heart stealer.
Vincent : **** sake. Hey Ashley.
Ashley : What do you want?
Vincent : I wanted to say I’m sorry for being such a jerk. I know you work hard for us and I don’t know what came over my head that day when we started to argue.
Ashley : You don’t know? You don’t know? Ha... you’re such a coked up freak.
Vincent : I know but I am trying to say that I am sorry for what I have done and I will always regret that day.
Ashley : I don’t care, you should of thought about that before you argued me. Goodbye!
(Ashley turns away from Vincent over looking at the wall and Vincent looks outside the jail cell in depression)
(Music starts with a flashback showing times Vincent and Ashley were together)
Singer : They used to say you were my friend
But now they say no more
Now they say it has to end
And that we must go to war
I don't know what I deserve this for
Don't know what I deserve this for

Rapper : But I knew you when we knew love
Burned hot within our hearts
Now they say they've had enough
And we both must part
But memory like golden thread
Still binds you to me
While time and tides run through my head
I'll never set them free
As long as love lives in my dreams
I'll hold my love for you
Life and love will be my team
I'll not be untrue
A night of passion
A night of bliss
I was born
For such a night as this
A night to remember
A night without fear
But when the dawn comes
Will you still be here
All night long
I cling to your side
Nothing between us
Nowhere to hide
A night of loving
I never saw a tear
But when the dawn comes
Will you still be here
I can't believe
You by my side
Without our clothes
Nowhere to hide
No trace of nerves
When you are near
But when the dawn comes
Will you still be here

Singer : They used to say you were my friend
But now they say no more
Now they say it has to end
And that we must go to war
I don't know what I deserve this for
Don't know what I deserve this for
Oh oh oh woah oh
Oh oh oh woah oh
Woah oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh woah oh
Oh oh oh woah oh
Woah oh oh oh oh

(Vincent looks outside the jail cell again and Jonas suddenly comes in)
Jonas : Da.... why are you in here?
Vincent : The female police locked me in here because I stole their hearts.
Jonas : Well give them back to ‘em. After all, the only heart you really want is Ashley’s.
Vincent : Oh alright.... and no, Ashley is not coming back with me.
Jonas : Well that’s a shame. I thought you and Ashley were perfect together. I have never seen a happier couple in my life.
Ashley : Jonas what did you say?
Jonas : I said I have never seen a happier couple in my life and ma I miss you terribly. At home, us Blairs and McMillans are all angry at Vincent of what he did to you and we all want you back. I love you mam so much and please don’t leave me! Plus Vincent is singing to himself Sarah McLachlan’s song “When She Loved Me” everyday which makes all our eyes rain heavily.
Ashley : Ah Jonas, those are such kind words. Is that true what he said Vincent?
Vincent : Yes very true and I am very sorry. And to show I am, how about I get you out of this joint and we’ll go anywhere you’d like to go.
Ashley : Even Niagara Falls?
Vincent : Yes!
Ashley : Oh my god, Vincent thank you so much. I am very sorry too for arguing with you. Everything in my life was better with you before that stupid day which we will forget about from now onwards. I said Niagara Falls because I want to get married and then for our honeymoon, we can go there!
Vincent : Oh yes, finally! Let’s get started right away.
Jonas : Hey wait, you still have to wait for the police to let you two lovebirds out.
Vincent : Ah great to ruin the enthusiasm Jonas.
(Police finally arrive)
Police : Hey what are you doing there Cheez Toe? Who locked you in here?
Vincent : The female police.
Police : No way... seriously... well they will get a surprise from me too.
Vincent : Hilarious but can you let me and Ashley out like?
Police : Yeah sure if you pay the fine.
Vincent : Okay, here’s your money.
Police : Thank you. Happy living Cheez Toe!
Ashley : OMG Vincent you actually paid the police €4,000 just to get me out of jail? You are such a sweetheart. I knew I didn’t choose the wrong decision of getting with you in the first place.
Vincent : I know. Now Jonas let’s get out of here.
(The scene skips to the wedding day at the church)
Priest : If there is anyone who disagrees these two shouldn’t be married, raise your hand and say otherwise why NOW!
Christina : I do!
Everybody (except the priest) : Shut up Christina!
Christina : What? jesus
Priest : Okay Vincent, do you take Ashley, as your wife, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?
Vincent : I do!
Priest : And Ashley, do you take Vincent, as your husband, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?
Ashley : I do!
Priest : You may now kiss the bride.
(Ashley and Vincent kiss each other on the lips and everybody gives a big clap of congratulations)