BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder

Gremlinertia · 20-02-2016 12:48am

Do you have any supports where you are? Bpd is a very broad term so it may leave your friends confused so naming an aspect of it instead could be a good idea.. Do you think you could find an aware group or talk to a local counsellor?. By the way welcome to the thread, hopefully it'll be of some support to you.

20-02-2016 12:50am

Daenarys wrote: »

But anger and sadness I feel those a hundred times worse than your average person

I don't know your location Daenarys but help does exist outside of Cork and Dublin. I know regarding BPD the treatment of choice tends to be Dialectical Behavioural Therapy but you need to be first given a formal diagnosis before you can embark on this.

Your last sentence there. Am I right in thinking your feelings of anger and sadness are amplified?

Daenarys · 20-02-2016 1:40am

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Do you have any supports where you are? Bpd is a very broad term so it may leave your friends confused so naming an aspect of it instead could be a good idea.. Do you think you could find an aware group or talk to a local counsellor?. By the way welcome to the thread, hopefully it'll be of some support to you.

No not where I am. I know bpd is very broad and not everyone has the same symptoms, that's the reason I don't tell friends because if they read online about it, they would get the completely wrong end of the stick. it always seems to be the more extreme of a illness is more documented online.

Thanks for the welcome

Daenarys · 20-02-2016 1:42am

Deleted User wrote: »

Your last sentence there. Am I right in thinking your feelings of anger and sadness are amplified?

Yes you're right! I don't think I'm alone in that though

Gremlinertia · 20-02-2016 1:45am

That's why I don't tend to say borderline to my friends - google is not your friend then!. Have you spoken with a local doctor?. It's surprising where support springs from in some areas of the country. The likes of men's sheds and aware groups etc.

Daenarys · 20-02-2016 1:53am

Gremlinertia wrote: »

That's why I don't tend to say borderline to my friends - google is not your friend then!. Have you spoken with a local doctor?. It's surprising where support springs from in some areas of the country. The likes of men's sheds and aware groups etc.

Well I was looking online just now and there is a Grow meeting a 40 minute drive from where I live. I'm not really sure what the criteria is for going to a group meeting though. Actually I don't know how I'd feel going there saying Hi I'm D and I THINK I'm borderline....everyone else discussing depression and then I come out with that I would get weird looks. And god what if there was somebody from where I live there. Oh my jesus

My doctor knows I have some anxiety issues but I told her I had a psychologist so she was happy enough with that.

Gremlinertia · 20-02-2016 2:02am

I'm in a group and recognised two on the first day. Swore i wouldn't go back at the start but by the end with the ground rules in place i decided to return and now nearly a year later I'm delighted i did. Don't get me wrong, no walk in the park and my nerves had me on the verge of nausea the first few weeks.

Daenarys · 20-02-2016 2:11am

What happens when you first walk in? I have this idea it will be like al anon?

I've to stop reading about it online myself, some people are so horrible, saying people with these traits never change, that therapists don't even like treating them because they are so manipulative, they never get better.

Jesus I may have days where the world is a bleak black hole but I have other days where I have hope that I will be able to have proper relationships and experience happiness and self love and all that good stuff. Surely there is a light at the end of the tunnel than have this emotional rollercoaster day in day out!!

Gremlinertia · 20-02-2016 2:14am

I haven't been part of Grow, i was in a hospital group. There will be similaritiesg guess as there will be facilitators who will welcome and help to keep new people calm.. It's a tough bloody hurdle, not going to lie it's nerve wracking.. Why don't you call or email them to see what the story is?.

Daenarys · 20-02-2016 2:22am

Yeah I think I'll email them tomorrow. I'm even getting tummy flips just thinking about that!!

I need to do something though, once a month chats with my psych just isn't enough.

Thanks Gremlin

Gremlinertia · 20-02-2016 2:24am

You're more than welcome. I've been through the mill so feel i should share my experiences in case it ever helps.

20-02-2016 9:55pm

Daenarys wrote: »

Yes you're right! I don't think I'm alone in that though

You're not. I feel deeply myself. However problems can arise when those feelings overwhelm us Daenarys. So we need to learn how best to manage them and tolerate them.
It's a lonely place the inside of our heads isn't it?
But help does exist. Sometimes it's a case of trial and error in finding the right treatment but don't give up.

08-03-2016 8:58pm

I'm currently battling a lot of borderline stuff myself, the medication I was on longterm has ceased being very effective recently. I've been referred onto my local mental health services which is great, at the moment it's just trying to get along as I am. When I say I'm battling definite borderline stuff, it's more than depression! The hatred of other people, or myself, in cycles. Very difficult to deal with all day long.

Daenarys · 04-07-2016 6:34pm

Hi all, I just want to ask a question about medication. I've read articles that say medication is almost pointless for someone with BPD. I was put on anti depressants a year ago, the only difference they make is that I'm numb, I don't really cry or experience any other emotion besides anger (not that frequent). I've also gained 20+ lbs in the last year which I hate. Anyway my question is have any of you just gone the therapy route without medication. I'm seriously considering withdrawing from them now, I'm sick of them. I think I'd tolerate the weight gain if I was laughing and happy 3 days out of 7 but jesus I feel nothing except random anger. Feel like I'm coasting along....unable to concentrate for long, foggy headed and lethargic.

Gremlinertia · 04-07-2016 7:21pm

First off, if you do consider changing meds talk to your doc first.
Now to your question, most people i know have been on medications for quite some time before gaining access to talk therapy routes.. I changed types of meds five or six times then dosages for another year before I found my balance, to be honest the whole thing can feel very tiring and pointless at times but ultimately I'm in a much better place mentally..

Of the two people i know that went for non-medical routes (talk therapy) one took some meds during for anxieties brought up at the time.. The other is still pondering their way for now.

Tie Will · 05-12-2016 11:58pm

Hi Tie Will, there is a specific forum for this to be found at Home Topics>Science, Health & Environment >Researcher

LegacyUser · 08-12-2016 11:44pm

I found the same. Haven't been on anything for 2 years,just therapy and was doing well. but recent major stress has exacerbated symptoms so am considering going back on something for a while esp for the anxiety and dissociation. Hate the weight gain though.

Daenarys wrote: »

Hi all, I just want to ask a question about medication. I've read articles that say medication is almost pointless for someone with BPD. I was put on anti depressants a year ago, the only difference they make is that I'm numb, I don't really cry or experience any other emotion besides anger (not that frequent). I've also gained 20+ lbs in the last year which I hate. Anyway my question is have any of you just gone the therapy route without medication. I'm seriously considering withdrawing from them now, I'm sick of them. I think I'd tolerate the weight gain if I was laughing and happy 3 days out of 7 but jesus I feel nothing except random anger. Feel like I'm coasting along....unable to concentrate for long, foggy headed and lethargic.

THEBLACKDEVIL · 26-07-2017 3:48pm

Looking for some advice, my friend who suffers with BPD, accused me of doing something on him which I didn't do, if I was in the wrong I'd apologize. I know in his mind I did do something wrong and he has no control over this. He won't speak to me now but I don't want to isolate him, but if I apologize it will be a lie and I don't see what that would achieve. I know from previous experience that if I try to explain that I did nothing wrong he will argue black is white to win the argument (facts or truth won't come in to it)

Could anyone who recognizes this scenario offer any advice?

THEBLACKDEVIL · 27-07-2017 3:11pm

Hi Again, the situation has been resolved so I won't need any suggestions. Thanks.

margarite · 24-12-2017 3:20pm

catrin11 wrote: »

Triona1
Has your husband taken part in DBT - Dialectical Behaviour Therapy? So far it has been the only one treatment which actually successfully helps people with BPD. It's still a novelty. It was introduced to Ireland only in 2010 (Cork) and 2 years ago in Dublin. There results are very promising

I have DBT and living through distress in St. Pats all to no avail am now trying private treatment which is expensive but after one session is only over still feeling very depressed. Has anyone any ideas of things that might help please am desperate.

RachelDDD · 31-12-2017 1:27am

Hi Margarite, I originally started this thread a long time ago but haven't been following it for a long time. So sorry to hear you are suffering at the moment. You are having the best treatment out there with DBT, and the Living Through Distress program sounds really good too. The thing about BPD (from an outsiders persepective - carer to a daughter) is that its like being on a rollercoaster. Things will work short term and are 'quick fixes' and then the depression or anxiety can take over again. It's a constant battle and I hate to say it, but probably life long, unless you can really master DBT. My daughter and I have done DBT together and it was amazing (even for a non BPD patient), amazing skills etc., but the hard part is remembering to use them in a crisis situation. I spoke to so many people who were on their 3rd & 4th course of DBT and only then realising bits were 'sinking in". It takes a lot of practice to get it right. Not sure if you are on any medication but it might be worth talking about it to your Psychiatrist on next visit as it really makes a difference. Sadly I can't get my daughter back to a second course of DBT, even though she knows she needs it - she suffers with severe insomnia and classes are at 10am so totally out of the question. I hope you get through this bad patch but feel free to PM me if you want to talk more, I'm no means an expert but have 8 years of living with a loved one with BPD.

netflix2018 · 18-02-2018 3:57pm

catrin11 wrote: »

If you are interested I have all the books downloaded, I can email you them.

I'd be very interested in this also

Foweva Awone · 18-02-2018 4:10pm

I've been doing work on The Decider skills recently, anyone ever heard of them? I find it's helping a lot.

Medication was mentioned recently on this thread, Seroquel has absolutely changed my life, really helped with my impulsiveness and other symptoms. I finally feel like I've some choice and control back in my life again.

netflix2018 · 18-02-2018 4:15pm

I have an adult family member who we are all concerned about. He is not a self-harmer as as far as we know, hasn't had suicide ideation but ticks all the rest of the boxes for BPD: fear of abandonment, difficulties with holding down courses or jobs as he struggles to manage his emotions or to do the same thing for any length of time. In friendships and relationships he is either all over someone to the point of smothering them and or he dumps them at the smallest thing. He is manipulative and always believes he is the victim. Prone to manic joy or rages. He struggles with impulse control particularly regarding finances which particularly affects the family financially when he gets himself into a serious bind. To everyone outside it just looks like selfishness or immaturity but we think the issue runs deeper. I've a number of concerns:

- he thinks he's fine and everyone else is at fault. How do you raise something like this with someone who's blissfully unaware of the problem and encourage them to take responsibility?
- all of the treatment advice seems to start with a GP referral. How do you find a GP who is actually DPD-savvy? If the family member doesn't think he has a problem, do you go with him to the GP and explain? Call the GP on their behalf before they come?
- we are based in the midlands and from everything I'm reading, access to DBT is a geographical lottery. Are there other options? And how can we lobby for more treatment options because with the percentage of people who have DPD, it seems outrageous to only have two treatment plans in the country.
- if someone can point me towards support groups for family members of DPD sufferers, that would be appreciated.

Thank you! Very thankful to have found this thread.

margarite · 05-03-2018 12:09pm

netflix2018 wrote: »

I'd be very interested in this also

That would be great thanks. *snip*

looksee · 05-03-2018 12:15pm

Margarite, just a friendly warning that your email address will probably be removed, you are not supposed to post email addresses. Suggest you private message it. (I am not a mod here)

Kurtosis · 05-03-2018 1:00pm

Hi Margarite, I've snipped your email address (mainly to save you from spam

). As looksee suggests, best thing for you to do is exchange private messages.

Starwoman77 · 24-06-2018 12:48pm

Hi does anyone know of meet ups for Bpd sufferers or support organisations.

Gwen Cooper · 29-06-2018 3:42pm

Starwoman77 wrote: »

Hi does anyone know of meet ups for Bpd sufferers or support organisations.

Try shine.ie, I think they have BPD groups

LegacyUser · 29-06-2018 10:49pm

Hi, There is a specific BPD support group being set up in Cork at the moment. The 1st meeting is being held on Monday July 16t in Inniscarrig nursing centre on the western road, cork city. The start time is 6pm. Anyone who has been diagnosed with the BPD diagnosis is welcome to attend. This is a peer led group which will be facilitated by a person in full recovery from BPD.

BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder

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