Men trying a girl i'm seeing

king kenny 7 · 28-02-2012 12:36am #1

I have been seeing a girl for a couple of months.I really like her she is beautiful and one of the nicest people i have ever met.She works as a barmaid in the local pub where i drink but it's driving me crazy the way some of the men talk to her.I went for a few pints in their last week and some man nearly 40 asked me for her number :mad: she is only 17.

I told him to fu*k off basically and i had 4 or 5 pints tonight with a friend and he told me what somebody said to her earlier and it drove me mental :mad: I wish she worked somewhere else but i know it's not her fault but it's getting so bad now i don't even want to go near the pub.I really love her but can't stand the way that lads do be trying her when they have a few pints and it drives me crazy and i don't know how to handle it.I know it sound a stupid question but can somebody please offer some advice if you have been true this.I trust her and that that's not the problem because we get on so well she's like one of my best friends i can laugh with her about anything.I just can't handle the things lads do say to her :mad:

Big Bag of Chips · 28-02-2012 12:41am

All you need to worry about is if SHE can handle the things lads say to her.

Occupational hazard of a barmaid I'm afraid...

JimmyCrackCorn · 28-02-2012 1:22am

Trust her and accept that men will come on to your girlfriend.

blatantrereg · 28-02-2012 5:58am

I reckon the old guy asking you for her number knew it would provoke a reaction and was trying to wind you up. He trolled you really.

But in general yeah I agree with the previous replies.

StupidLikeAFox · 28-02-2012 6:25am

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I just can't handle the things lads do say to her :mad:

Unfortunately this is your problem to deal with. Working in a pub this is going to happen all the time. If you let it get to you it will affect your relationship and will only drive her away.

Morag · 28-02-2012 9:16am

Guess what getting it on in work, when your dealing with the public is normal for most women, esp when they work late hours and people will have drink taken. It's a fact of life for women and it happens to all young and attractive women. It has nothing to do with you, men are don't it to wind you up this happens all the time to women, you've just never know.

You can't demand that she change her job and you can't hang around the bar scowling and marking your territory, you need to take some time to sort out your emotional reactions and your jealousy.

If she's had a busy night and it's been a bit rough with lots of men of all age hitting her, she should have to deal with you having your nose out of joint, you should be being supportive of her and understanding that being hit on like that is unfortunately part of what happens, men will drink and then try their chances.

blatantrereg · 28-02-2012 9:43am

Sharrow wrote: »

Guess what getting it on in work, when your dealing with the public is normal for most women, esp when they work late hours and people will have drink taken. It's a fact of life for women and it happens to all young and attractive women. It has nothing to do with you, men are don't it to wind you up this happens all the time to women, you've just never know.

The guy asking him for his gf's number was probably trying to wind him up I reckon.

There are three fundamental scenarios with her getting attention:

Guys ignoring boundaries enough to actually upset her
Her soliciting the attention
Pretty much everything else.

It's pretty common for a guy to treat almost all attention his gf gets in the same way. Overprotective types treat everything like the first category. Jealous types treat everything as the second. And plenty of guys are concerned about acting jealous or overprotective, and treat everything as the third.

I reckon you might be a bit overprotective OP, and that the guy said this to you becuse he picked up on that. Your language here suggests it too a bit. Be aware that this factor is the seed of destruction for a lot of relationships.

Keep a lid on your territorial impulses, but just closing your eyes to everything is not the best way of handling it.

Squiggler · 28-02-2012 10:02am

You sound like an ex of mine. Note the word "ex".

You need to trust that your girlfriend can handle it, if she can't she has co-workers and a manager who should step in. You need to keep out of it. Don't drink where she works and tell your friend to mind his own business.

Drunk (and even sober) men come on to girls, especially girls who are behind a bar, waiting on their table or whatever because they're a captive audience. I'd be surprised if you haven't done this yourself at some point in your life.

If you start trying to control her, causing trouble in her workplace or taking your irritation about how men behave towards her out on her you will lose her.

I loved my ex, but when it got to the point that a stranger smiling at me in the street led to the spanish inquisition I realised that his jealousy and insecurity had gone completely off the deep end.

And he used to say all the things you do, that he trusted me, that we were perfect for each other... all the time making my life a misery.

Be careful and don't go down that route.

ash23 · 28-02-2012 10:09am

Working as a barmaid you have to be friendly and as a result you get hit on. It's part and parcel of the job.
I have to say, I'm surprised your girlfriend didn't go mad at you for telling the guy to f*ck off. That's not your place when she is working. You can't go into her workplace and start mouting off at her customers.
If she's been doing the job a while then she'll be well able to handle herself and politely decline when men hit on her without her boyfriend interfering.
You need to stop drinking there because you'll end up losing the head by the sounds of things.
Sounds to me like you need to work on your possessive side and truthfully if I heard a man talking like that about one of my friends or sisters I'd be silently thinking she should bail on the relationship.

rbag · 28-02-2012 10:17am

Occupational Hazard.

As long as she doesn't mind it, can handle it etc then it doesn't have anything to do with you.

There is an element of possessiveness in your post. Since it bothers you that much perhaps you should socialise away from her work place.

LegacyUser · 28-02-2012 10:18am

You sound overly possessive and jealous. If my boyfriend behaved like that I would be damn insulted. This is her work life, not yours, she's perfectly capable of handling the stipulations that come with it and your interference is not required. She's an autonomous human being, not your property.

stargazer 68 · 28-02-2012 10:46am

rbag wrote: »

Occupational Hazard.

As long as she doesn't mind it, can handle it etc then it doesn't have anything to do with you.

There is an element of possessiveness in your post. Since it bothers you that much perhaps you should socialise away from her work place.

Have to agree. Drink somewhere else. Im assuming you are young (as she is 17) but thats what happens to girls who work in pubs etc. You have never tried to chatt up a girl in a pub, shop, restaurant etc???

Pebbles68 · 28-02-2012 11:04am

When i was youger I did some bar work. I loved the attention and the bit of flirting with the customers. What girl wouldn't? As long as it didn't cross a line. But I was never going to cheat with any of them. If you cannot trust your girlfriend do both you and her a favour, move on. If the trust isn't there the relationship will never survive. Sooner or later it will come between you.

Danniboo · 28-02-2012 11:08am

OP,

You have a lot of growing up to. Unfortunately you get idiots like this when working in pubs. The 40 year old asking you for her number, obvious wind up. If he was serious he's hardly going to ask her bf. Sounds like the regulars may have either caught on to your possesiveness or else they're just messing with you, which you obviously can't handle.

Even the title of your post OP, Men "trying" a girl i'm seeing, she's not an object, men don't "try" her. I'd strongly advise you stop drinking in her workplace. I'm sure if she's well able to handle herself otherwise I don't think she'd have stuck with a job as a barmaid.

curlzy · 28-02-2012 11:27am

moflic wrote: »

You sound overly possessive and jealous. If my boyfriend behaved like that I would be damn insulted. This is her work life, not yours, she's perfectly capable of handling the stipulations that come with it and your interference is not required. She's an autonomous human being, not your property.

Couldn't agree more with this. She's not your property, tough **** if you don't like the way people talk to her, it's not your business unless she asks for your input. If you were my bf I'd be giving you the boot. Thankfully my bf doesn't feel the need to beat his chest if a guy comes onto me, he knows I'm going home with him. So yeah stop being possessive, she's not a possession.

Starokan · 28-02-2012 9:00pm

Take on board what the previous posters have said, Its good advice.

For the sake of your relationship do find somewhere else to drink or learn how to handle this. I have worked on and off in bars for years and its part and parcel of the job, male and female staff alike will get hit on by customers. In general staff don't mind , its fun, they laugh and joke about it , if it ever extends beyond that a word from management sorts it out.

If you start acting all possessive and jealous your relationship will be over very soon, trust your girlfriend and if you cant walk away for your own peace of mind. Anyone who has worked in bars will tell you there is nothing worse on a night that their partner sitting there glowering at them for doing their job and enjoying the banter with the customers. And believe me that's all it is to her , good natured banter.

Janet1986 · 28-02-2012 9:19pm

17?

Thought 18yrs to work in a bar unless serving food.

Siuin · 28-02-2012 10:42pm

^^ was just thinking the same thing

The Jammy dodger · 28-02-2012 11:37pm

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I have been seeing a girl for a couple of months.I really like her she is beautiful and one of the nicest people i have ever met.She works as a barmaid in the local pub where i drink but it's driving me crazy the way some of the men talk to her.I went for a few pints in their last week and some man nearly 40 asked me for her number :mad: she is only 17.

I told him to fu*k off basically and i had 4 or 5 pints tonight with a friend and he told me what somebody said to her earlier and it drove me mental :mad: I wish she worked somewhere else but i know it's not her fault but it's getting so bad now i don't even want to go near the pub.I really love her but can't stand the way that lads do be trying her when they have a few pints and it drives me crazy and i don't know how to handle it.I know it sound a stupid question but can somebody please offer some advice if you have been true this.I trust her and that that's not the problem because we get on so well she's like one of my best friends i can laugh with her about anything.I just can't handle the things lads do say to her :mad:

Sounds like the men are just winding you up and it seems to be working by the looks of it. They are just playin with ya.

ash23 · 29-02-2012 9:45am

Janet1986 wrote: »

17?

Thought 18yrs to work in a bar unless serving food.

She might be waitressing or glass collecting as opposed to serving drink.

mikemac1 · 29-02-2012 9:54am

You're easily wound up OP and the older guy played you
And it worked

She is young and attractive and works in a bar, it's going to happen in every county in Ireland and you need to learn to deal with it
She's with you anyway, she's going home with you so relax. People only wind you up as they know they'll get a reaction

Having you hanging around and swearing at her customers can get her in trouble with the owner so go find a new local and drink there instead

29-02-2012 11:02am

Wait until she starts clubbing with you, OP. You have to trust that she can handle the attention. You sound way too over protective and bordering on the controlling, if you even think of making her change her job. If you want to keep her, trust her.

Call Me Jimmy · 29-02-2012 6:42pm

There's jealousy and then there's this. This doesn't even have a basis. What logical path of thought got you from him asking for her number to her dumping you and being with him? That's what I'd be concerned about because somewhere in that logic will be the idea that this guy is better than you, because thinking like that is the only way you could react the way you did.

You're in serious trouble with this relationship I'm afraid.

king kenny 7 · 29-02-2012 9:46pm

I'm sorry guys i came across wrong in my post.I know she's not my property and i don't go to the pub to keep an eye on her.I have always drank in the pub and have done so before she started working there.I have no problem trusting her as i know her all my life.

I know that she wouldn't cheat on me and she was the one who made the first move thank god i would off been afraid to as myself and my mate used to hang around with sister and didn't want to feel awkward.

I just don't get why people have to keep winding me up about her and this happens even when she's not in the pub.The lad that asked for her number should have more cop on.I wonder would he think it was funny if people started winding him up about his wife and all the times he has cheated on her.

MissFlitworth · 29-02-2012 9:56pm

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I just don't get why people have to keep winding me up about her and this happens even when she's not in the pub.

Probably because you get all blustery & defensive and they think it's hilarious. Stop reacting to them & they'll stop doing it

gud4u · 29-02-2012 10:11pm

MissFlitworth wrote: »

Probably because you get all blustery & defensive and they think it's hilarious. Stop reacting to them & they'll stop doing it

Are you around the same age OP, you're sounding a bit immature, also being THAT in love after 2 months is a bit full on.

You are either the same age, and therefore too young to be handling drink, or your a few years older as you've drank there for ages. Either way, there's a lack of maturity going on here. If you're in your early 20s, maybe you should date someone a little older than 17.

I think you may have to reign yourself in, stop getting so frustrated with lads winding you up, they have seen which strings to pull with you and are having a right bungee jump off you.

If the older guy that asked for her number is a serial cheater then he's obviously a nasty piece of work and best avoided in any case, by you that is, your GF knows full well how to deal with such customers and I'm sure is learning a lot in her job. These are the things that at 17 will mature her and most likely result in outgrowing you if you can't move forward with her and allow her to do her job.

Big Bag of Chips · 29-02-2012 11:21pm

"Older" men in pubs always get great entertainment out of taking the mick out of the young fellas. I'm sure if you think about it, there's probably loads of slagging going on, all the time.

But now that it's aimed at you, it's different!

As others have said, don't let them see you're annoyed... come up with a few good comebacks, just be careful not to get offensive or personal... ie don't think you should mention a cheating husband to his face in front of a packed bar! But if you have some good lines to show that you're not bothered, they'll either give up, or at least you won't be bothered.

king kenny 7 · 29-02-2012 11:40pm

I'm 19 by the way, the pub is in the country and i have been drinking in it since 16.There's only one other pub the but i always drink in the other one as it's got a pool table,dart board,jukebox and big screen for watching the matches.

I'm not the best at explaining this and i think you guys have took me up all wrong.I'm no treating her like i own her or anything like that she goes out with her sister or friends whenever she want's like i go out with my mates.

I can take a laugh and a joke but they just keep going on and on about it.The worst is if i'm at the bar and she's serving me or one of my friends they say something stupid out loud and make sexual remarks in front of her and the whole bar.That just makes me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed.I'm quiet anyway but it's the lads i have the problem with not protecting her, i'm just not explaining it very well.

gerryk · 01-03-2012 9:19am

It seems that they get a kick out of your reaction more than anything else. Don't feed the trolls and they'll soon get bored.
One tactic I have heard mentioned here a couple of times to take the wind out of the sails of the blusterer is to wait a few seconds after the laughter or whatever has died down, and say something like "sorry, I wasn't paying attention... can you repeat that?"
These sort of comments are rarely as witty the second time around, and the attention will definitely make the funny guy feel a lot less funny.

gud4u · 01-03-2012 12:26pm

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I'm 19 by the way, the pub is in the country and i have been drinking in it since 16.There's only one other pub the but i always drink in the other one as it's got a pool table,dart board,jukebox and big screen for watching the matches.

I'm not the best at explaining this and i think you guys have took me up all wrong.I'm no treating her like i own her or anything like that she goes out with her sister or friends whenever she want's like i go out with my mates.

I can take a laugh and a joke but they just keep going on and on about it.The worst is if i'm at the bar and she's serving me or one of my friends they say something stupid out loud and make sexual remarks in front of her and the whole bar.That just makes me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed.I'm quiet anyway but it's the lads i have the problem with not protecting her, i'm just not explaining it very well.

I think it's hard to get across what you really mean in posts as they lack so much in tone and expression:) so apologies on my part if my earlier comments were wrong. You got a bit of a bashing here, but you handled it well as you had time to read and post a reply.

The same applies to the jibes in the pub, unfortunately, you can't pause time and come up with a good one liner to shut them up.

Now that you have explained further and perhaps are a little less annoyed than your first post, I see it's really just a case of everyone winding you up.

I was a barmaid in a local pub at 18, there will be banter and flirting(not a patch on what you'd have to put up with nowadays I'd say) but I can't stress enough how much everyone sees what they are doing to you.

Ignoring the comments is the best option, how about talking to your gf about tackling it together, obviously without you getting involved with other punters.

The main thing is, you get to take her home, come up with a few good one liners together and soon the focus will be on someone else.

Country pubs and country folk........they're a bit like that alright...:D

minidazzler · 01-03-2012 8:51pm

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I'm 19 by the way, the pub is in the country and i have been drinking in it since 16.There's only one other pub the but i always drink in the other one as it's got a pool table,dart board,jukebox and big screen for watching the matches.

I'm not the best at explaining this and i think you guys have took me up all wrong.I'm no treating her like i own her or anything like that she goes out with her sister or friends whenever she want's like i go out with my mates.

I can take a laugh and a joke but they just keep going on and on about it.The worst is if i'm at the bar and she's serving me or one of my friends they say something stupid out loud and make sexual remarks in front of her and the whole bar.That just makes me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed.I'm quiet anyway but it's the lads i have the problem with not protecting her, i'm just not explaining it very well.

You need to realise that they keep on about it because they can get a reaction from you. Basically they are trolling you. Simply act like it doesn't bother you in the slightest and it'll wear out when they find someone new to take the piss out of.

Fenian Army · 02-03-2012 2:00am

Look at it differently, your girlfriend is very attractive and all the lads in the pub get shot down/rejected because she wants you.

king kenny 7 · 06-03-2012 2:18am

I hate this thanks for the replys.I have tried to ignore them but it's really hard, it's not like i just met her and somebody posted that it's wrong to be in love with her after a few months but i'm sorry i know her all my life and we were always good friends.

I'm drunk now and she was working today and no i was not there to look after her.I only have work 3 days a week now so went out with my friend.I will sound harmless now but i dont care.She was working and she spend most of the day talking to me but as soon as she left the lads kept winding me up and i know it's my fault for letting them but i can have a laugh as much as anybody but i don't see the laugh in winding up anybody's wife or girlfriend :mad:

I am really quiet when i'm out but i hate people talking about her or her sisters.I hit a man a box in the mouth and cut him open.I know i won't be barred out of the pub because i'm related to the owners but i don't want trouble why can't they just leave me alone?

I will probably get the replys about me trying to run her life and i'm not.I just love her and don't want people talking bad about her.I know she loves me too and we will never fall out with each other.I just love her so much because we were such good friends before i was ever with her and it's not just a sex thing i just love spending time with her.

Esoteric_ · 06-03-2012 2:48am

You punched a guy for winding you up about her?

Forget about people winding you and her up for a minute. You need to seek professional help. It is in no way normal to react that way to people joking around at your expense. Your reactions and the things you have said on this thread are not normal, they're completely overboard and frankly if I was going out with someone like that, I'd be terrified and would dump them.

She works in a bar, she's going to be hit on and people are going to wind you up. You're the person foolish enough to let them know they've gotten to you. You seem incapable of controlling your insecurity or jealousy.

RDM_83 again · 06-03-2012 6:33am

LyndaMcL wrote: »

You punched a guy for winding you up about her?

Forget about people winding you and her up for a minute. You need to seek professional help. It is in no way normal to react that way to people joking around at your expense. Your reactions and the things you have said on this thread are not normal, they're completely overboard and frankly if I was going out with someone like that, I'd be terrified and would dump them.

She works in a bar, she's going to be hit on and people are going to wind you up. You're the person foolish enough to let them know they've gotten to you. You seem incapable of controlling your insecurity or jealousy.

You might be right about this but only the OP is actually experiencing the situation, there are situations in which slaggings and windups stop being funny (to the neutral observer its generally not great for the recipient any) and start becoming bullying, the OP says he's a quiet sort of guy so that might make the teasing all the worse, especially as if the girl is really that good looking there may be a good healthy dose of "she's going out with him" (no offense OP), slaggings fine but these guys might not even know him.

Its stupid hitting a guy over a slagging, but I'd say a lot of men would smack a guy if he said something like "I'm going to F_ck your GF/wife" particularly if he's not a friend (where it is friends it can be laughed off as winding etc). And I'm saying this as an extremely non-violent person.

Jumpy · 06-03-2012 7:39am

Let me guess. You are pretty young too?

Jealousy is not a mature mans trait.

No matter how bad you have it. Orlando Bloom has it worse.

mikemac1 · 06-03-2012 10:33am

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I hit a man a box in the mouth and cut him open.

You disregarded every bit of advice on this thread and now you've take it to a new stage

You're like a puppet OP, it's ridiculously easy to wind you up and that's why the locals pick on you. They know how to push your buttons.
If you were cool and didn't care they would stop trying to get a rise out of you

You say you are quiet, seems to me you overthink things and build up small events into huge issues in your head. The locals don't care about you and your girlfriend, most are worrying about themselves

And now you've hit a lad in the face.

king kenny 7 wrote: »

don't want trouble why can't they just leave me alone?

A confident person wouldn't have been bothered at all by the slagging and would have given a few cutting replies.

You struggled and got flustered and swung a punch.

Sometimes, yes sometimes threats and abuse go too far and someone deserves a smack but it wasn't over this situation or anything in this thread

Whats done is done, don't apologise to the lad but take a break from the pub for a few weeks

Big Bag of Chips · 06-03-2012 10:44am

You won't get barred because you're related to the owners? You mightn't be barred but you might be asked to stay away for a while. Or worse, they might put pressure on your gf to keep you away for a while.

You being there is affecting her work. If you really cared that much for her, you'd stay out of the way.

Your too immature to deal with the "big lads" in the pub. So until you can handle it/them, I'd advise, for the sake of your gf that you give it a miss for a while.

Otherwise, you're going to get dumped.

I am a friend · 06-03-2012 10:55am

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I hit a man a box in the mouth and cut him open.

If you did that when going out with me you would be dumped....

king kenny 7 · 06-03-2012 2:15pm

I feel really bad today now.I didn't go to the pub for a fight yesterday, one of my friends rang me and we went for a few pints.I will admit that i lost my head but seriously some of the things he was saying i just couldn't help it.I get on really well with her family and often drink with her father.

I'm going for a few pints now and no she's not working incase you guys think i'm watching her.I was talking to her and she's at home and she knows what happened.I just want to get a few pints because i feel really bad about what happened and i just want to forget about it.

I am a friend · 06-03-2012 2:50pm

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I just want to get a few pints because i feel really bad about what happened and i just want to forget about it.

Its barely lunchtime and you are going again for pints????? Think you woudl have learned last night that drink and you dont mix... I would start to think about my drinking habits if I were you. Are you working? if not then volunteer work would be a good idea to keep your mind busy.

Herrick · 06-03-2012 4:20pm

In fairness to the OP, that guy may have deserved a good slap. I know plenty of loud mouth bastards who just keep going on and believe me, a lot try to put borderline abuse down as "slagging"

Now I'm not saying hitting him was the best way to go, I'm just saying that given what some people can come out with in these situations, a lot of people wouldn't blame someone for hitting them a slap.

Although I have a feeling he won't open his mouth to you again

OP try and prepare a few nice comebacks for any of the hassle you get anymore, usually if your seen as easy to wind up they will keep at it, but a couple of sweetly placed comments will shut them up

blatantrereg · 06-03-2012 5:06pm

It's against the law to hit someone, regardless of how annoying you might find them.
You're not accomplishing anything by it. You're only getting away with doing it because you can't do it properly. If you could, you'd do proper damage, and serious consequences for you yourself would be fairly likely. A ten year old could split someone's lip tbh. Not something to feel empowered about there.

Dont assume someone you hit will be keen to do you favours. They can tell the guards. They might not even tell them the truth.

It's scumbaggy behaviour if you hit someone for any reason apart from defence against someone genuinely dangerous. That's not even applicable if you can't do it properly - and you can't. All you've done is made a complete tool of yourself there.

Chinafoot · 06-03-2012 5:48pm

So basically by hitting this bloke you have:

- Put your relatives that own the pub in a crap position
- Put your girlfriend and her job in a crap position
- Shown yourself to be completely immature and unable to deal with a slagging.

And now your answer to this is to go and drink more?

If I was your relative you'd be barred, simple as that. The fact that you seem to think there will be no repercussions for your actions just further proves your immaturity.

If I was your girlfriend you'd be dumped. You made an absolute show of her in her workplace and you could have seriously jeopardised her job there. If you loved her even half as much as you claim to you would stop drinking in that pub and let her get on with her work. Something has to give here and no employer (relative or not) will put up with nonsense like that in their business. One of you will end up having to go, and if you had any sense at all you would make sure its you.

You claim you're not looking for trouble yet you insist on going back to that pub despite being completely unable to rise above the slagging.

I would seriously advise you to take a good hard look at your drinking habits and also decide whether this ridiculous need to protect your girlfriend's honour outweighs her need for employment.

king kenny 7 · 06-03-2012 6:31pm

I can't believe that people think i'm in the wrong here.I won't fall out with the girlfriend, i had 9 pints today and i'm home now because i'm going to the cinema with her tonight.I was talking to the man that owns the bar and he asked what happened last night and the other man is barred.

I do love my girlfriend and don't listen to people bad mouthing her or her family.He told her that her 8 year old sister was fat like her mother.I don't go out for a fight i love going out with my friends but is that classed as slagging?

king kenny 7 · 06-03-2012 7:51pm

Chinafoot wrote: »

So basically by hitting this bloke you have:

- Put your relatives that own the pub in a crap position
- Put your girlfriend and her job in a crap position
- Shown yourself to be completely immature and unable to deal with a slagging.

And now your answer to this is to go and drink more?

If I was your relative you'd be barred, simple as that. The fact that you seem to think there will be no repercussions for your actions just further proves your immaturity.

If I was your girlfriend you'd be dumped. You made an absolute show of her in her workplace and you could have seriously jeopardised her job there. If you loved her even half as much as you claim to you would stop drinking in that pub and let her get on with her work. Something has to give here and no employer (relative or not) will put up with nonsense like that in their business. One of you will end up having to go, and if you had any sense at all you would make sure its you.

You claim you're not looking for trouble yet you insist on going back to that pub despite being completely unable to rise above the slagging.

I would seriously advise you to take a good hard look at your drinking habits and also decide whether this ridiculous need to protect your girlfriend's honour outweighs her need for employment.

I have always drank in that pub and won't change where i go because of this crap.The girlfriend need not worry there is no chance of her getting sacked.

Chinafoot · 06-03-2012 7:51pm

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I can't believe that people think i'm in the wrong here.

You punched someone in the face in your girlfriend's place of work. I can't believe you think you're in the right tbh.

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I won't fall out with the girlfriend,

You might if she loses her job over your behaviour while she is working.

king kenny 7 wrote: »

i had 9 pints today and i'm home now because i'm going to the cinema with her tonight.

You had 9 pints in under 4 hours today? You need to take a serious look at your drinking.

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I was talking to the man that owns the bar and he asked what happened last night and the other man is barred.

And what happens next time someone says something to or about your girlfriend that you don't like? Is the man who owns the bar going to refuse entry to everyone that you decide to swing your fists at? I hope you at least apologised to the owner for your behaviour?

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I do love my girlfriend and don't listen to people bad mouthing her or her family.He told her that her 8 year old sister was fat like her mother.I don't go out for a fight i love going out with my friends but is that classed as slagging?

He was speaking to your girlfriend. She works behind a bar so I am sure she is well used to dealing with utter morons. If she took issue with what he said about her sister and mother she can very easily report him to a more senior member of staff and have him removed from the premises. She does not need her boyfriend acting like a neanderthal by throwing punches in her defence. You are not her personal bodyguard ffs. You had the option to ignore him or report him to the staff but you instead chose to act like an idiot. If your girlfriend is impressed by your carry-on then she is as immature as you are tbh. Any right minded person would be appalled at your behaviour.

Why do you continue to drink in the pub where she works? Why do you continue to put yourself in a situation where you are going to be easily riled?

blatantrereg · 06-03-2012 8:40pm

Nice pm I got there.

LOL mate i'm a scumbag who can't throw a box and i'm good for nothing that can't do anything that a 10 year old couldn't do.Where are you from? because any day you wan't to chance it mate your more than welcome.

blatantrereg · 06-03-2012 9:01pm

sunflower27 wrote: »

From? Report?

From the OP.
Reported a couple of much worse PMs than that before and nothing happened, so I dont see much point really.

LegacyUser · 07-03-2012 3:12am

king kenny 7 wrote: »

I can't believe that people think i'm in the wrong here.I won't fall out with the girlfriend, i had 9 pints today and i'm home now because i'm going to the cinema with her tonight.I was talking to the man that owns the bar and he asked what happened last night and the other man is barred.

I do love my girlfriend and don't listen to people bad mouthing her or her family.He told her that her 8 year old sister was fat like her mother.I don't go out for a fight i love going out with my friends but is that classed as slagging?

I think you are behaving horribly OP, I really do. I don't think you are doing this on purpose; I'm not even sure you realise how your behaviour is perceived. Dear god, you can't behave like you are and not expect to get arrested, or worse than that, end up hitting someone and seriously hurting them. And you are treating you GF as though she is a possession, and anything you perceive as an insult seems to turn you to violence.

Surely what should guide you is how she feels. Has she ever even intimated that you should 'stand up for her' in this way? Tbh, if I were her, your behaviour would raise so many red flags of violence and controlling behaviour that I would run as fast as I could. Even your thread title alone would make me feel weird: guys 'trying' her?! As has been said already on this thread: if she has a problem with the punters in her workplace, then she needs to go to her boss. ATM it sounds like you aren't even asking whether SHE thinks the punters are a problem, and dishing out your fists to revenge your own dented ego.

If you want to keep seeing this girl, please stop the violence and controlling behaviour. It's not attractive, it's not defending her, it's clearly not improving the situation, and it is downright scary.

Taltos · 07-03-2012 8:14am

Thread closed.

OP has received a wealth of advice detailing on their need to face and appropriately deal with their jealousy. At this piont in time despite repeated appeals for doing this the OP appears unrepentent in their behaviour going so far as to assault another individual. As our charter expressly bans advocating violence we are left with little choice here.

blatantrereg - please report those PMs again if you have not already done so. Our Admin stands ready to review them immediately

Regards
Taltos

Men trying a girl i'm seeing

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