Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

degausserxo · 02-03-2012 7:40pm

jammstarr wrote: »

degausserxo wrote: »

Sorry to interrupt, just thought I'd give a bit of an update: not going inpatient as I'm thankfully more stable now, but am going to a day hospital instead.

Glad to hear you're doing a bit better man

Girl

jammstarr · 02-03-2012 7:48pm

degausserxo wrote: »

Girl

Apologies

cloud493 · 02-03-2012 8:11pm

Kaching wrote: »

doubt it

I'm 19 years, and one week old :rolleyes:

I'm going to fail my leaving cert again. ****. Everytime I go to school, or enter it, or think about the exams themselves, I feel so sick and anxious, and I just can't retain any information.

jammstarr · 02-03-2012 8:50pm

Shits slowly starting to snowball now it seems

midlandsmissus · 02-03-2012 9:31pm

degausserxo wrote: »

Girl

I thought you were a man aswell...don't know why!

Things are going good for me

keep fighting peops!

talullah · 02-03-2012 9:42pm

Always nice to hear when people are doing better!

Gremlinertia · 02-03-2012 10:40pm

Snap reaction, injured myself. Pretty bad, why do i yo yo so much, no wonder i can't keep friends

jammstarr · 02-03-2012 10:55pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Snap reaction, injured myself. Pretty bad, why do i yo yo so much, no wonder i can't keep friends

Feck, you SH'd?

cloud493 · 02-03-2012 10:59pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Snap reaction, injured myself. Pretty bad, why do i yo yo so much, no wonder i can't keep friends

Is it ok? Clean, sorted out?

Gillo · 02-03-2012 11:28pm

Feeling pretty low this evening, not sure why.

Hope the rest of you are doing well.

Gremlinertia · 02-03-2012 11:33pm

It's wrapped hope it should be ok. Can't stand this mood swing ****. I feel guilty and awful

cmj2 · 03-03-2012 2:26am

Can't sleep. Hate feeling of dread in my stomach. Feels like I'm going to choke.

Temaz · 03-03-2012 12:50pm

Managed to sleep again but woke up in the pits of depression.

Gremlinertia · 03-03-2012 3:47pm

Pretty low meself, trying to motivate but not much happening yet. Hopefully dog will drag me outside.

Captain Graphite · 03-03-2012 4:19pm

Tried sleeping. Didn't work. My throat is really really sore. And I'm drifting back into dangerous "focus on the past" territory right now, which always brings me down.
Also I'm really starting to feel lonely over here.

When I get back to Ireland I need to make more friends. I seem to have difficulty staying in touch with/holding onto them.

Gremlinertia · 03-03-2012 4:24pm

Captain Graphite wrote: »

Tried sleeping. Didn't work. My throat is really really sore. And I'm drifting back into dangerous "focus on the past" territory right now, which always brings me down.
Also I'm really starting to feel lonely over here. When I get back to Ireland I need to make more friends. I seem to have difficulty staying in touch with/holding onto them.

I've been dredging up the past too, but managed to pull up some good stuff too. When are you back to ireland?

jammstarr · 03-03-2012 4:56pm

Captain G, I'm always pretty lonely despite living at home so I can't even imagine how low you are over there. I know it's not the same as having real company but feel free to message or whatever

Just out of curiosity are there many westerners where you are?

Gremlinertia · 03-03-2012 5:26pm

All i can say is well done on posting. Felt really hard for me. Same as you, this new 'needing help' thing is annoying to me since i used to be so strong. The one person who i thought would stick by has run.

Keep posting, or pm if you like.

Grem

RavenMirror · 03-03-2012 5:31pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

All i can say is well done on posting. Felt really hard for me. Same as you, this new 'needing help' thing is annoying to me since i used to be so strong. The one person who i thought would stick by has run.

Keep posting, or pm if you like.

Grem

Thank you, I really appreciate that.

My therapist tells me every week I'm doing alot better than I think I am, and that I'm too hard on myself...and I try really really hard to believe it. I know that logically, I should believe it, but I can't - I just can't.

crunchyogurt · 03-03-2012 5:34pm

jammstarr wrote: »

I believe there's a couple of students on here. How do ye cope with the increasing workload and stress generally?

The only way that Im able to work on assigments is in small chunks. Ive have such poor concentration, Im not able to focus on something for extended periods of time. Finding the motivation to actually sit down and do something is very hard as well. Im in a very demanding course and Iv been struggling since day one. Theres a fairly good chance I wont make it into the next year.

Gremlinertia · 03-03-2012 5:35pm

RavenMirror wrote: »

Thank you, I really appreciate that.

My therapist tells me every week I'm doing alot better than I think I am, and that I'm too hard on myself...and I try really really hard to believe it. I know that logically, I should believe it, but I can't - I just can't.

A lot in common, between paranoia and self-loathing i'm not always sure what i am or if i believe anything. Hopefully this will be a good place for you, it's been good to me so far. The talking (and of course the odd rant) are helping.

Aoifums · 03-03-2012 5:47pm

Had a bit of a flip out in college yesterday. I can feel the panic building again today

I'm oddly proud of myself. I saw my other blades on sale for a really low price yesterday and I didn't buy them. I'll regret it once this one's done with but I'm enjoying it right now.

Captain Graphite · 03-03-2012 5:48pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I've been dredging up the past too, but managed to pull up some good stuff too. When are you back to ireland?

Any good stuff I pull out gets quickly overshadowed by bad stuff. In many cases, the good and bad stuff involve the same people.
Not back to Ireland until June but I know if I went home I wouldn't be any happier. Where I live is pretty isolated from my friends. And a lot of them aren't really friends anyway, more like casual acquaintances that talk to me when it suits them and ignore me the rest of the time.

Part of the reason I came to China was to try and escape the unhappiness I felt back home. It worked for a few weeks but everything's catching up to me now.

jammstarr wrote: »

Captain G, I'm always pretty lonely despite living at home so I can't even imagine how low you are over there. I know it's not the same as having real company but feel free to message or whatever

Just out of curiosity are there many westerners where you are?

None whatsoever. There are three of us teaching English (me, an Italian girl and an American guy) and we're the only three Westerners I've seen since leaving Beijing and coming here. The other teachers are really nice but there's only so much stuff I can talk to them about.

Had resisted as long as possible but have to start taking antibiotics for my throat now. Can't even sleep now with it.

cloud493 · 03-03-2012 7:28pm

Hope everybody's doing ok today

Princess Peach · 03-03-2012 7:48pm

I just realised how conflicting my emotions are. Get pretty down when I'm lonely, and I just moved to Canada by myself so happens quite often. But this weekend I had the chance to go to a grad student conference with social events, but I wasn't in the mood to be around people

There's no win with me!

Happy enough today cause I'm taking the day off from study and just relaxing, but it will probably stress me out more when I'm behind tomorrow :P

Temaz · 03-03-2012 8:14pm

Have a throat infecton coming over me. Lovely. My mood is not as bad however so Im doing ok this weekend.

starviewadams · 03-03-2012 8:27pm

I just get very drunk and listen to loud music at the weekend to drown out my self critical inner voice and to stave off the loneliness.

cloud493 · 03-03-2012 8:42pm

Don't drink myself, but It helps

Febe00 · 03-03-2012 8:43pm

I'm 7 weeks pregnant and doc advised I come off the 20 mg of lexapro I've been on since my daughter was born in 2008. I reduced from 20 to 0 mg in 8 days and coped quite well emotionally. Day 2 off all med I started getting brain zaps, These were only every now and then so I thought this was going very well. However, they have got progressively worse over the past two days.

I can only describe them as electric shock type sensations that start deep in the brain and zap outwards, they even travel through my tounge and lips, it is followed by a shape zap across my skin on face and outer arms. This all lasts about 5 seconds and is followed by a dizzy disoriented feeling for about 2/3 seconds. This is draining me physically.

Yesterday this happened every time I moved my eyes at all, so literally all day long! So far today it's only when I move my head to other side or get up and walk, although as the day gets on they are becoming more regular.

I know these are a side affect of withdrawal and doc says should not last more than two weeks, but I've read on the net that they last a lot longer. I'm afraid I will have to ring in to work sick on Monday as I can't function correctly with this happening. I was out sick the week before last week with nausea so don't want to ring in again this week. I'm afraid I'll lose my job. They don't know I'm pregnant but do know I'm on medication. In the last hour my mood has dropped so much it has shocked me, my husband has left to go to work cause I think I'm just annoying him so much. I just feel utterly useless, I'm always fighting something and I'm emotionally drained. I feel like such a disappointment to everyone. I don't know how I can face work on Monday I'm a joke. I should be happy the brain zaps are not as bad today but oh no I'm a blubbering mess

Gillo · 03-03-2012 9:15pm

Doing low enough today, no motivation to do anything.
Wish I could just give myself a good kick and start living.

Kaching · 03-03-2012 11:24pm

crying heavily

Gremlinertia · 03-03-2012 11:30pm

Kaching, anything in particular up? Feel free to rant, or pm if you'd prefer. Not great again tonight, but not as bad as last night at least.

Gillo · 04-03-2012 12:04am

Kaching wrote: »

crying heavily

It's weird I often wish I could when I'm really but but somehow I seem to shut out my emotions, I end up wishing I could just have a good cry in the hope that'd make me feel better.

Hope you wake up tomorrow feeling that little bit better.
Feel free to pm if you need a good rant or anything else.

cloud493 · 04-03-2012 12:10am

Not the best night I've ever had, truth be known. Oh dear. Still never mind. Know how to sort it.

cloud493 · 04-03-2012 2:51am

http://allpoetry.com/poem/9428583-Jackies_Soul-by-MadManWithabox

I just wrote that to vent a little bit

nesf · 04-03-2012 5:10am

Just a bad two days really. Sleep is seriously messed up. Ah well.

Night_Shade · 04-03-2012 5:14am

nesf wrote: »

Just a bad two days really. Sleep is seriously messed up. Ah well.

chin up.

what do you do when you can't sleep? personally i just surf the internet for hours until I nod off but occasionally I go for a walk. it feels good walking around on your own in the piece and quiet.

hope things are better for you over the next few days.

nesf · 04-03-2012 5:49am

Night_Shade wrote: »

chin up.

what do you do when you can't sleep? personally i just surf the internet for hours until I nod off but occasionally I go for a walk. it feels good walking around on your own in the piece and quiet.

hope things are better for you over the next few days.

I usually surf the net, read or similar until I feel a bit tired then I try to sleep. Or pace for hours on end like the last two nights. I'm too anxious/paranoid to go for late night walks, tempting as it might be.

Apparently from a chat with my mother today, my great grandfather also paced a lot, paced a lot more when he got agitated, was quiet and needed a lot of "rest". Family history much?

Captain Graphite · 04-03-2012 8:28am

Feeling a bit better today. It was mostly my throat being at me that caused me to be so down last night.

I think when I get back home I need to go out more and make more friends. And when I get to Nottingham to September I want to reinvent myself a little.

Lose weight, gain more confidence, talk to more people etc.

Gremlinertia · 04-03-2012 11:46am

Right. It's sunny. I resolve to switch off all distracting stuff here and head out for a good portion of today- hopefully. Take advantage if ye are able.

cmj2 · 04-03-2012 11:58am

Rather stay in bed to be honest. Have to visit my elderly aunt later. Am dreading it because I know when I see her I 'll feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself when there she is at 90 still struggling to keep going. See there I go sounding selfish already!

Kaching · 04-03-2012 12:17pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Kaching, anything in particular up? Feel free to .

Hun its never just one thing with me , and when i cry , i cry thats not the end of it , ill stop crying and then ill remember why I was crying and cry again , worst part is ive 4 more years of this , then some Karma straight on top of that , so is there really any hope for me ?

Plumpynuter · 04-03-2012 12:35pm

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Does anyone notice their face shape changes on antidepressants? I noticed my forehead looking different, and my eyes, and my jaw is permanently in a bit of a grimace, like a clenched state , there's two other people I know on antidepressants and they have the same facial expression as me, it's scary.

So I looked it up, and apparantley anti-depressants do have a striking effect on your face, they relax the facial muscles. This should surely be discussed more. It's worrying, I feel I don't look like I used to at all

I agree with this 100%. I have noticed the jaw thing. Also a boating or puffiness to the face and eyes become sunken and small looking over time.

I am off all meds for a while now and my health and appearance is much better. As is my confidence and ability to make eye contact. The only thing I would say is that I replaced the meds with exercise (walking crazy amounts) so the improvement could be just down to that rather then the meds. When I was on meds I did not care about anything. When I got off them I got angry and started to make positive changes in my life. Could have went both ways so I do not want people flushing their meds

Anyway (sorry a bit off point) I deffo have noticed in the past what you said about changes. I remember thinking in a group session that people shared a lot of facial characteristics that I was starting to notice in myself.

flyswatter · 04-03-2012 1:07pm

Night_Shade wrote: »

nesf wrote: »

Just a bad two days really. Sleep is seriously messed up. Ah well.

chin up.

what do you do when you can't sleep? personally i just surf the internet for hours until I nod off but occasionally I go for a walk. it feels good walking around on your own in the piece and quiet.

hope things are better for you over the next few days.

I think surfing the internet is the wrong thing to do if you're trying to get some sleep. It just keeps your mind buzzing and active and it will take longer to drop off. Reading in bed on the other hand is very good for trying to sleep.

Mars Bar · 04-03-2012 1:11pm

flyswatter wrote: »

I think surfing the internet is the wrong thing to do if you're trying to get some sleep. It just keeps your mind buzzing and active and it will take longer to drop off. Reading in bed on the other hand is very good for trying to sleep.

When I was struggling to sleep, I was told no drinking tea at night and to get off the laptop earlier than I was so my brain would have time to shut down.

cloud493 · 04-03-2012 1:34pm

I did get to sleep. Then I had the worst nightmare

And I woke up. So I... calmed myself a little bit, then I tried to sleep again, but I couldn't cos it was scary

Gremlinertia · 04-03-2012 1:38pm

Oh ha, stuck in house because a leak has started from ceiling so waiting on plumber, just brilliant, oh well. Maybe i'll go downloading instead. *Climbs walls* :mad:

midlandsmissus · 04-03-2012 2:11pm

Plumpynuter wrote: »

I agree with this 100%. I have noticed the jaw thing. Also a boating or puffiness to the face and eyes become sunken and small looking over time.

I am off all meds for a while now and my health and appearance is much better. As is my confidence and ability to make eye contact. The only thing I would say is that I replaced the meds with exercise (walking crazy amounts) so the improvement could be just down to that rather then the meds. When I was on meds I did not care about anything. When I got off them I got angry and started to make positive changes in my life. Could have went both ways so I do not want people flushing their meds

Anyway (sorry a bit off point) I deffo have noticed in the past what you said about changes. I remember thinking in a group session that people shared a lot of facial characteristics that I was starting to notice in myself.

I'm surprised more people on here aren't talking about it. I look completely different, kind of clenched up, grimaced, stary eyes,crazy looking. It's really upsetting.
If I posted a before and after picture you wouldn't believe it, I look completely different.
Why do doctors not warn about this huge side effect? My appearance has changed so radically, I'm wondering will i ever look normal again?

midlandsmissus · 04-03-2012 2:19pm

Links to anti-depressants and changing facial shape:

Here http://minnesota-meanderings.blogspot.com/2009/02/antidepressants-can-add-years-to-your.html

Here http://www.divinecaroline.com/22179/111565-antidepressants-another-reason-droopy-face

And here http://www.naturalnews.com/026040_aging_drugs_antidepressant.html

Call Me Jimmy · 04-03-2012 2:25pm

Plumpynuter wrote: »

I agree with this 100%. I have noticed the jaw thing. Also a boating or puffiness to the face and eyes become sunken and small looking over time.

I am off all meds for a while now and my health and appearance is much better. As is my confidence and ability to make eye contact. The only thing I would say is that I replaced the meds with exercise (walking crazy amounts) so the improvement could be just down to that rather then the meds. When I was on meds I did not care about anything. When I got off them I got angry and started to make positive changes in my life. Could have went both ways so I do not want people flushing their meds

Anyway (sorry a bit off point) I deffo have noticed in the past what you said about changes. I remember thinking in a group session that people shared a lot of facial characteristics that I was starting to notice in myself.

Wow, this is the first time anyone I've seen anyone else talk about this. I complained endlessly about my jaw being uncomfortable and I did notice a definite change (sunken eyes puffy face) after being on meds for about 2 years. I'm off them now as well and definitely feel better but the changes to my face have remained for the most part...

Plumpy, how long off meds were you before you noticed things going back to normal? Was it a quick contrast?

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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