Partner being chatted up

One eyed Jack · 01-07-2015 8:23pm

Whatsisname wrote: »

Returning, sitting down/standing next to your partner and giving them a big lovey kiss and then looking back at your man is always a fun option.

I'd be insulted if my wife did that to me tbh. I'm not her showpiece to be rubbing in other people's faces, and I wouldn't blame the other person for thinking "Well, that's just a bit sad really" :pac:

osarusan · 01-07-2015 8:32pm

bluewolf wrote: »

Nah, I've heard it plenty of times from women - they say no as bluntly as they can, repeatedly, but it's not til the guy realises they're someone else's "property" that he backs off
Maybe at this stage they come straight out with the husband thing because it saves time and effort to get to the same result as it won't be heard otherwise

An auld bit of rope round the waist would sort all that out.

Massimo Cassagrande · 01-07-2015 10:23pm

Rough Sleeper wrote: »

We get it dude, you're really hard and assertive. We're impressed and frightened in equal measures. You win 69 internets and a bronze trophy cast in the shape of a big shwinging dick.

Not really. The lad asked "what do you do if someone is chatting up your partner" and I said what I do. Would you prefer if I made up some nice fluffy answer? The answer is what the answer is - I tell them to **** off. Your answer might be different, your answer might even be waay better, more mature, sexier, cooler, whatever - but it isn't my answer. You do get that, right? I tell them to fcuk off. You tell them whatever you like. No sweat will be lost.

01-07-2015 10:27pm

Massimo Cassagrande wrote: »

Not really. The lad asked "what do you do if someone is chatting up your partner" and I said what I do. Would you prefer if I made up some nice fluffy answer? The answer is what the answer is - I tell them to **** off. Your answer might be different, your answer might even be waay better, more mature, sexier, cooler, whatever - but it isn't my answer. You do get that, right? I tell them to fcuk off. You tell them whatever you like. No sweat will be lost.

Your posts in the thread come across really horrible and nasty.

Massimo Cassagrande · 01-07-2015 10:32pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Your posts in the thread come across really horrible and nasty.

The perils of flat text. They're meant to be all warm and fluffy.

01-07-2015 10:34pm

Massimo Cassagrande wrote: »

The perils of flat text. They're meant to be all warm and fluffy.

I've no idea what that's meant to mean.

I don't get why anyone would choose to be nasty to someone for absolutely no reason other than they're talking to another person. It's just very very odd to me.

Sheep Lover · 01-07-2015 10:34pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Your posts in the thread come across really horrible and nasty.

My thoughts exactly. A real key board warrior I'd say.

Anyway, I'd politely inform the young gentlemen that the woman he is chatting up is mine and then maybe invite him to partake in beverage in our company.

enfant terrible · 01-07-2015 10:37pm

I'd join a gym, build up my upper body and hit him from behind with a stick

seamusk84 · 01-07-2015 10:38pm

Go sit at bar by yourself and get drunk + cry.

Mysterypunter · 01-07-2015 10:39pm

It doesnt matter. If your boy or girl run off with some muppet, then they must not really like you in the first place. Get over it

Ave Sodalis · 01-07-2015 10:41pm

I think if my boyfriend came up to someone who was chatting to me and told them to **** off and/or was aggressive without even sussing out the situation, I'd dump him.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 01-07-2015 11:04pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Your posts in the thread come across really horrible and nasty.

Are you chatting up his Mrs?

01-07-2015 11:06pm

Rogelio Screeching Mushroom wrote: »

Are you chatting up his Mrs?

I would have if she was hot, but I don't like being told to fcuk off, it make me sad

4zn76tysfajdxp · 01-07-2015 11:11pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I would have if she was hot, but I don't like being told to fcuk off, it make me sad

All bark and no bite, I'm sure.

Fratton Fred · 01-07-2015 11:23pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Sheesh, overreactions everywhere.

Other men have approached my wife and started conversations. She hasn't sprang away from them hissing that she belongs to another for she hath undergone the ceremony of marriage. She makes polite conversation back. Then I land back and she politely says this is my husband. The fellows are usually nice and then gradually over the next minute or 2 move along. Some linger for a few minutes as they don't want to make it so obvious that they were chatting up. And life goes on.

That's it exactly. Once in a while you have to explain that this is the point where he ****s off now. But generally it is taken in a reasonable manner.

We are all blokes after all. You win some, you lose some and you appreciate that other guys are doing what you used to do before you found someone that decided you were worth keeping.

Mysterypunter · 01-07-2015 11:31pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I would have if she was hot, but I don't like being told to fcuk off, it make me sad

No need to be sad, tiz just the internet.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 01-07-2015 11:33pm

Don't know, he's a big boy and should be able to fight off any crazy bitches by himself. Don't think I'd be overly jealous with a random stranger.

Be a different story if it was his ex or someone he knew that I knew liked him. Then I'd probably leave and go home without him.

RomanKnows · 01-07-2015 11:34pm

Massimo Cassagrande wrote: »

Not really. The lad asked "what do you do if someone is chatting up your partner" and I said what I do. Would you prefer if I made up some nice fluffy answer? The answer is what the answer is - I tell them to **** off. Your answer might be different, your answer might even be waay better, more mature, sexier, cooler, whatever - but it isn't my answer. You do get that, right? I tell them to fcuk off. You tell them whatever you like. No sweat will be lost.

Talking absolute tarmac.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 01-07-2015 11:42pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Your posts in the thread come across really horrible and nasty.

I'm not saying that I'd tell anybody to f*ck off, but I have noticed that if you act in anyway assertive across any of the forums of boards.ie, people are quick to accuse you of being a wannabe hardman or keyboard warrior.

Maybe he just has a quick temper.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 01-07-2015 11:53pm

The Cunning Linguist wrote: »

I'm not saying that I'd tell anybody to f*ck off, but I have noticed that if you act in anyway assertive across any of the forums of boards.ie, people are quick to accuse you of being a wannabe hardman or keyboard warrior.

Maybe he just has a quick temper.

Sounds more aggressive than assertive, tbh.

Rough Sleeper · 01-07-2015 11:57pm

Massimo Cassagrande wrote: »

Not really. The lad asked "what do you do if someone is chatting up your partner" and I said what I do. Would you prefer if I made up some nice fluffy answer? The answer is what the answer is - I tell them to **** off. Your answer might be different, your answer might even be waay better, more mature, sexier, cooler, whatever - but it isn't my answer. You do get that, right? I tell them to fcuk off. You tell them whatever you like. No sweat will be lost.

Well the fact that you say say you're being honest doesn't get you a get out of jail free card. I mean, if the thread title was "What do you do when your dog starts barking" and you replied that you kick it, I wouldn't think, "Well he's telling it like it is, can't fault him there."

Based on your response you sound like you're either a spoofer or a bully, neither of which are considered particularly good things.

Massimo Cassagrande · 01-07-2015 11:58pm

Rogelio Screeching Mushroom wrote: »

Sounds more aggressive than assertive, tbh.

Quite laid back actually, but just don't chat up the missus. That's rude. I'll be rude back.

01-07-2015 11:59pm

Rogelio Screeching Mushroom wrote: »

Sounds more aggressive than assertive, tbh.

Sounds more insecure than anything.

My wife will politely decline, I don't gotta do the chest beating and drag her by the hair to my cave to make the point. No need for any violence.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 02-07-2015 12:04am

Some people are private. I wouldn't pull up a chair and begin to spout random waffle to a stranger, at least not without some sort of encouragement. On the flipside, I wouldn't like to have to give the 'hail fellow well met' treatment to someone that did. Is it really aggressive if you just whisper privately "look could you just get lost, you're bugging us" rather than smile & nod politely until he gets bored & moves on?

Shemale · 02-07-2015 12:09am

bluewolf wrote: »

It's sad they'll only accept a no from another man, not from the woman

I know, it' very easy for women to say I just this that and the other, some men are right sleazy scumbags and it takes it strong message for them to **** off.

Was out on a night out with the missus and her friends in her home town, she went to the bar and some fella who has always fancied her and knows she is married was trying it on with her. She told him to **** off and he wouldn't he then decided that meant grope me, she came back to us and I knew there was something wrong it took a while to get it out of her and then she wouldn't tell me who did it, I hit the roof and I had a right row with the missus over it.

It sickens me to think some men feel this is appropriate carry on and a good hiding is the only thing that will make them think again. I was out for a drink with a few friends and one of their childhood friends (who is a creep) was out, the lads were having a smoke and he had dropped back from the circle, there was a homeless junkie begging and I could see he was sidling over to her so I stayed close, he opened his wallet took out €5 and said I will give you this if you come into the alley with me. I grabbed his wallet, took out al his money (about €100) and gave it to the girl and told her to get herself a hostel to get away from creeps like this guy, I grabbed him by the scruff bounced him off the nearest wall and told him if I ever saw or heard or anything like this again I would leave nothing of him.

Shemale · 02-07-2015 12:11am

donkeyoaty0099 wrote: »

Smash 'em straight in the ****ing bonce innit? ****ing mug.

Calm down Danny Dyer you slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggg

Rough Sleeper · 02-07-2015 12:13am

The Cunning Linguist wrote: »

Some people are private. I wouldn't pull up a chair and begin to spout random waffle to a stranger, at least not without some sort of encouragement. On the flipside, I wouldn't like to have to give the 'hail fellow well met' treatment to someone that did. Is it really aggressive if you just whisper privately "look could you just get lost, you're bugging us" rather than smile & nod politely until he gets bored & moves on?

No, that sounds fine. It isn't the same as "**** off, good man."

manonboard · 02-07-2015 12:19am

Shemale wrote: »

Was out on a night out with the missus and her friends in her home town, she went to the bar and some fella who has always fancied her and knows she is married was trying it on with her. She told him to **** off and he wouldn't he then decided that meant grope me, she came back to us and I knew there was something wrong it took a while to get it out of her and then she wouldn't tell me who did it, I hit the roof and I had a right row with the missus over it.

It sickens me to think some men feel this is appropriate carry on and a good hiding is the only thing that will make them think again. I was out for a drink with a few friends and one of their childhood friends (who is a creep) was out, the lads were having a smoke and he had dropped back from the circle, there was a homeless junkie begging and I could see he was sidling over to her so I stayed close, he opened his wallet took out €5 and said I will give you this if you come into the alley with me. I grabbed his wallet, took out al his money (about €100) and gave it to the girl and told her to get herself a hostel to get away from creeps like this guy, I grabbed him by the scruff bounced him off the nearest wall and told him if I ever saw or heard or anything like this again I would leave nothing of him.

Seriously, When I read your post, It was very difficult to see you as anything but a emotionally reactive bully. Sure you think you are upholding some values, but 'your' missus got groped and you had a row with her? Is it not likely she couldn't talk to you about who did it because of your obvious temperament and forceful responses?
Do you even allow room for the fact that other people may prefer non violence for their own value system and not need you removing that option for them?

Dont get me wrong, I can see you felt angry that someone you care about was physically assaulted in a way, but her shutting down on you, and then your STEALING of another mans possessions rather to uphold YOUR values.. is extreme behaviour and very contradictory.
Like what do you do if you meet a man who is a bully and steals from a 'creep?... isnt that just you?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 02-07-2015 12:23am

Shemale wrote: »

I know, it' very easy for women to say I just this that and the other, some men are right sleazy scumbags and it takes it strong message for them to **** off.

Was out on a night out with the missus and her friends in her home town, she went to the bar and some fella who has always fancied her and knows she is married was trying it on with her. She told him to **** off and he wouldn't he then decided that meant grope me, she came back to us and I knew there was something wrong it took a while to get it out of her and then she wouldn't tell me who did it, I hit the roof and I had a right row with the missus over it.

It sickens me to think some men feel this is appropriate carry on and a good hiding is the only thing that will make them think again. I was out for a drink with a few friends and one of their childhood friends (who is a creep) was out, the lads were having a smoke and he had dropped back from the circle, there was a homeless junkie begging and I could see he was sidling over to her so I stayed close, he opened his wallet took out €5 and said I will give you this if you come into the alley with me. I grabbed his wallet, took out al his money (about €100) and gave it to the girl and told her to get herself a hostel to get away from creeps like this guy, I grabbed him by the scruff bounced him off the nearest wall and told him if I ever saw or heard or anything like this again I would leave nothing of him.

Wow.
I hope your missus got away from you. If anyone I was with ever acted like that, I'd run a mile. And then another mile. Just to be sure.

anncoates · 02-07-2015 12:26am

Just return to your partner and carry on chatting /drinking whatever. No need to lose the plot about it.

02-07-2015 12:30am

Shemale wrote: »

Was out on a night out with the missus and her friends in her home town, she went to the bar and some fella who has always fancied her and knows she is married was trying it on with her. She told him to **** off and he wouldn't he then decided that meant grope me, she came back to us and I knew there was something wrong it took a while to get it out of her and then she wouldn't tell me who did it, I hit the roof and I had a right row with the missus over it.

It sickens me to think some men feel this is appropriate carry on and a good hiding is the only thing that will make them think again. I was out for a drink with a few friends and one of their childhood friends (who is a creep) was out, the lads were having a smoke and he had dropped back from the circle, there was a homeless junkie begging and I could see he was sidling over to her so I stayed close, he opened his wallet took out €5 and said I will give you this if you come into the alley with me. I grabbed his wallet, took out al his money (about €100) and gave it to the girl and told her to get herself a hostel to get away from creeps like this guy, I grabbed him by the scruff bounced him off the nearest wall and told him if I ever saw or heard or anything like this again I would leave nothing of him.

I guess pubs and drink can bring out the aggressive in people.

But a bit harsh to have a go at the wife for being groped and not wanting to cause a scene.

Smidge · 02-07-2015 12:33am

Does this not happen to everyone at some point, at the very least once in any adult relationship?
I know its happened to me umpteen times and I just politely decline offers and try to be as civil as possible(unless someone is sloppy drunk and pawing at me, then they get told to go away very quickly).
Whats wrong with being civil?

Witcher · 02-07-2015 12:35am

Smidge wrote: »

Whats wrong with being civil?

I'm sure a lot of the people who have commented are civil in the moment, it's just that when the internet is brought into the mix, 'My wife politely declined and we had a nice evening' becomes 'Yeah so I broke a stool off his back and then downed his pint as he watched through his tears'.

Shemale · 02-07-2015 12:36am

manonboard wrote: »

Seriously, When I read your post, It was very difficult to see you as anything but a emotionally reactive bully. Sure you think you are upholding some values, but 'your' missus got groped and you had a row with her? Is it not likely she couldn't talk to you about who did it because of your obvious temperament and forceful responses?
Do you even allow room for the fact that other people may prefer non violence for their own value system and not need you removing that option for them?

What kind of weed smoking hippy fairy would not hit someone a slap/ have a word for groping their missus.

manonboard wrote: »

and then your STEALING of another mans possessions rather to uphold YOUR values.. is extreme behaviour and very contradictory.
Like what do you do if you meet a man who is a bully and steals from a 'creep?... isnt that just you?

This is an individual who in my company previously told a girl before she finished saying her name that he would "like to ram his cock up her arse", another night friends of mine were out with him, he was last seen with the drunkest girl in the pub who he was propping up and disappeared with and they found out the next day he had unprotected sex with her in a skip, hopefully this gives a clearer picture, at my friends birthday party he grabbed the birthday boys mothers breast, hopefully this explains my reaction better.

I have no brothers and two sisters who had a bad time at a rough secondary school we were all in so in my informative years I ended up constantly watching out for them and trying to protect them.

It's your opinion of me that I am aggressive but I am actually quite a laid back guy, one three occasions I have been out in Dublin City and have had punches thrown at me by guys looking for fights and without throwing a dig have ended the situations on one ocassion a guy apologised told me he had taken took much coke earlier and we sat beside each other on the nitelink. On the other hand I absolutely will not tolerate someone groping of hitting women.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 02-07-2015 12:41am

Shemale wrote: »

This is an individual who in my company previously told a girl before she finished saying her name that he would "like to ram his cock up her arse", another night friends of mine were out with him, he was last seen with the drunkest girl in the pub who he was propping up and disappeared with and they found out the next day he had unprotected sex with her in a skip, hopefully this gives a clearer picture, at my friends birthday party he grabbed the birthday boys mothers breast, hopefully this explains my reaction better.

Who dafuq are you mates with, Larry Murphy?

Shemale · 02-07-2015 12:44am

Deleted User wrote: »

I guess pubs and drink can bring out the aggressive in people.

But a bit harsh to have a go at the wife for being groped and not wanting to cause a scene.

Wasn't having a go, she knows me well enough, it's one of the few pubs in the town and the doormen know who I drink with so giving him a hiding wasn't an option, he has given her hassle before since we have been married so I just wanted to let him know, I know what he looks like and if he does it again he is in for it. Rows don't last the night it was an exchange that lasted a few minutes.

Shemale · 02-07-2015 12:49am

The Cunning Linguist wrote: »

Who dafuq are you mates with, Larry Murphy?

He was a childhood friend of friends I made in my 20s, they kept inviting him out so I stopped drinking with them, wouldn't want to be seen in the same city as him.

I never mentioned he came into the pub I was working in where everyone knew he knew me and later in the night one of the girls came up to me and said he was taking pictures of one of the other bar girls when she bent over, this is pre smartphone, he was there with a ****ing zoom lens

NotYourYear20 · 02-07-2015 1:21am

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't get why anyone would choose to be nasty to someone for absolutely no reason other than they're talking to another person. It's just very very odd to me.

And reeks of an insecurity complex & lack of trust in their partner.

Galwayguy35 · 02-07-2015 6:17pm

I remember I was the guy that was doing the chatting up in a pub years ago, I had no idea who she was and we were talking for a few minutes when all of a sudden this guy comes straight at me shouting at me to get away from his wife.

He was all up for a fight and he would have got one too if he looked for it, we're not mind readers and I don't get the all the aggro when someone makes an honest mistake.

Mister Vain · 02-07-2015 6:59pm

PTH2009 wrote: »

So its you and your other half and you go to the bar alone to get drinks and when u go back theres some guy or girl trying to get stuck into your partner. What do u do ??

Theres always pests who try and get stuck into girls who are at hen parties etc. I saw a guy dancing with a girl and he keep dancing behind guys who walked past them mocking them, instant punch in the face if someone tried to get a laugh at my expense.

Tbh I've never been with a girl on a night out that wasn't at a hen party. They usually go wild and lose their inhibitions at those things. Actually my first ever shift came as a result of one girl at a hen party daring another girl to shift the next lad that walked in the door, which just happened to be me.

Gongoozler · 02-07-2015 9:55pm

it's so long since I've been chatted up

Mister Vain · 02-07-2015 10:40pm

Gongoozler wrote: »

it's so long since I've been chatted up

How you doin? :cool:

beks101 · 02-07-2015 10:54pm

I think it's deadly, always a chance to have a bit of a laugh with himself. I'll usually stand behind yer wan and smile at him with a fake nod of approval, or I'll join in and start flirting my hole off with him and watch the chick get all miffed until she catches on.

He couldn't give a rat's arse who talks to me when we're out and about. He's used to me talking to the wall anyway. He'll either think it's some guy I already know and will leave me to it or he'll come over and join in and have a laugh with us.

I can't imagine what it's like to walk around with your back up to the world. Where everyone's a threat, any guy who looks your OH's way is a problem to have to be dealt with. Why not take it for what it is, an acknowledgement that your partner is attractive and is equipped to handle her own social interactions?

Fat Christy · 02-07-2015 11:12pm

I talk to all the people on a night out, all of them. I wouldn't appreciate it if my partner flipped out every time a member of the opposite sex decided to strike up a conversation with me or me with them. It's not the 19bloody50's and in a lot of cases people who chat to me on nights out, are doing just that, chatting to me.

If I was in a relationship and they were obviously flirting with me, I have a tongue in my head and can tell them I'm in a relationship, myself. Christ.

Lone Stone · 02-07-2015 11:44pm

Ask him to follow me and then BAM push Him into a volcano!!!

4zn76tysfajdxp · 02-07-2015 11:47pm

Fat Christy wrote: »

If I was in a relationship and they were obviously flirting with me, I have a tongue in my head

Fast movers, these romeos.

Samaris · 03-07-2015 12:04am

I feel a bit sorry for partners in this scenario. Personally, I have no flirt-recognition systems. I am not being coy or ignoring it, I am absolutely not picking up the signals! So I'd almost certainly end up in a deep conversation with some guy who hey, might be flirting with me, about whatever topic. If my partner was inclined to raise his hackles menacingly any time it happened, I'd be most annoyed. I seem to recall he did once, before he realized that my blindness to it was unintentional. The same issue in my teens meant that I ended up entirely tongue-tied around males, because my normal conversation (although I was shy anyway) was translated as flirting with them!

This is obviously different from attempting to touch or grope or saying something inappropriately sexual, and I know he would step in in that case, because he knows that confuses and freaks me out.

BASHIR · 03-07-2015 1:20am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WStXheemK9I

Maximus Alexander · 03-07-2015 1:42am

My girlfriend spoke to someone else the day after we started going out, but that's the last time she did it. I put her in her place sure enough. She belongs to me and it makes me so angry if she recognises that other people exist.

Now she just stays in the house all the time because she knows she risks seeing other people if she goes outside.

03-07-2015 2:17am

anncoates wrote: »

Just return to your partner and carry on chatting /drinking whatever. No need to lose the plot about it.

A bit of a scrap is always good for a bit of craic though, adds a bit of life to the night out!!

Partner being chatted up

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