Partner being chatted up

PTH2009 · 01-07-2015 12:25am #1

So its you and your other half and you go to the bar alone to get drinks and when u go back theres some guy or girl trying to get stuck into your partner. What do u do ??

Theres always pests who try and get stuck into girls who are at hen parties etc. I saw a guy dancing with a girl and he keep dancing behind guys who walked past them mocking them, instant punch in the face if someone tried to get a laugh at my expense.

suicide_circus · 01-07-2015 12:33am

Usually just run up behind them and hit them with a chair

Cold War Kid · 01-07-2015 12:34am

Roll them up in a carpet and throw them off a bridge!

Atlantic Dawn · 01-07-2015 12:35am

If it's a lady and there's no ring on her finger she's on the open market, like a car with a for sale sign.

Not a NSA agent · 01-07-2015 12:36am

If its a woman, ask her to join us. If a man, probably ignore him.

Del2005 · 01-07-2015 12:36am

PTH2009 wrote: »

So its you and your other half and you go to the bar alone to get drinks and when u go back theres some guy or girl trying to get stuck into your partner. What do u do ??

Go back to your seat or standing location and start talking to your partner again.

Mr. Incognito · 01-07-2015 12:38am

I take it as a compliment and save a few quid on the next round.

My missus is gorgeous so happens all the time.

Thankfully i am not an insecure dope that even needs to ask what the appropriate reaction should be

skittles8710 · 01-07-2015 12:43am

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

i am not an insecure dope

A bit obnoxious and unnecessary though.

Junkyard Tom · 01-07-2015 12:44am

I'm not entirely sure but it would definitely involve fire.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 01-07-2015 12:46am

PTH2009 wrote: »

Theres always pests who try and get stuck into girls who are at hen parties etc.

Heh heh heh. Yeah...

wp_rathead · 01-07-2015 12:46am

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

I take it as a compliment and save a few quid on the next round.

My missus is gorgeous so happens all the time.

Thankfully i am not an insecure dope that even needs to ask what the appropriate reaction should be

Tad OTT there dont you think?

cerastes · 01-07-2015 12:47am

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

I take it as a compliment and save a few quid on the next round.

My missus is gorgeous so happens all the time.

Thankfully i am not an insecure dope that even needs to ask what the appropriate reaction should be

I wouldnt consider anything along the lines of saving a few quid on drink myself? I wouldnt consider a drink be bought under most circumstances, certainly not that.
I wouldnt be getting all offended myself, but there are some that will persist and be annoying when a situation is clear, either stupidly drunk or maybe waiting to be told enough is enough so they can get offended?

NachoBusiness · 01-07-2015 12:56am

Throw him into the jukebox.

steddyeddy · 01-07-2015 12:57am

It's not being an insecure dope wanting to move on some absolute creep hitting on your woman and not taking no for an answer. Plenty of times I was out with girlfriend's and female friends just having the chats and some absolute creep is dancing behind them begging for a kiss. It's not only creepy it's really rude.

darkpagandeath · 01-07-2015 1:08am

A leather glove to the face and demanding a duel works.

Samaris · 01-07-2015 1:13am

Hah, if it was me, I'd just wander back over and grin evilly at my partner over her shoulder, because I always find it hilarious.

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo · 01-07-2015 1:51am

I think it's up to the person who's getting chatted up to say I'm actually here with my partner, we'd rather just be alone together now thanks, bye.

Nothing wrong with a public display of loyalty.

Filmer Paradise · 01-07-2015 3:26am

Sometimes when we are out, lads chat up Mrs Paradise.

They have good taste, but she always politely declines their advances.

Ruu · 01-07-2015 3:46am

This would be a fairly accurate scene of the events.

il gatto · 01-07-2015 7:22am

I wasn't much of one for it when I was single. If you got chatting, fine, but I wouldn't "chat up" random women. So I don't like it when others to it to my missus. Especially if she's clearly with you. That's beyond the pale. I'd get quite thick at that point.
I think the chatee also bears responsibility. If someone is clearly coming on to you, you should end the conversation. Or be very curt with them. Myself and my missus have both got pissed off with each other when someone a bit leery has been chatting to us and we've engaged in the conversation beyond normal politeness.
It's natural. I wouldn't call it sad or insecure.

keithclancy · 01-07-2015 7:33am

Depends on whether shes uncomfortable or not.

If shes chatting and not uncomfortable then i'd do nothing, if she is uncomfortable then would probably come over and tell him politely to go away.

She'd do the same for me.

In Ireland it's a bit different in bars as it's more aggressive, excessive touching or telling people directly what you think can start a fight.

Plates · 01-07-2015 7:38am

PTH2009 wrote: »

instant punch in the face if someone tried to get a laugh at my expense.

How does that work, exactly? An "instant" punch? Is it like a reflex action? How often does this happen to you?

il gatto · 01-07-2015 7:42am

Plates wrote: »

How does that work, exactly? An "instant" punch? Is it like a reflex action? How often does this happen to you?

God no. He means a powdered fruit punch you add water to. A fruity splash to dissuade would be cuckholders. It certainly lets them know who's boss.

01-07-2015 7:46am

Sheesh, overreactions everywhere.

Other men have approached my wife and started conversations. She hasn't sprang away from them hissing that she belongs to another for she hath undergone the ceremony of marriage. She makes polite conversation back. Then I land back and she politely says this is my husband. The fellows are usually nice and then gradually over the next minute or 2 move along. Some linger for a few minutes as they don't want to make it so obvious that they were chatting up. And life goes on.

Massimo Cassagrande · 01-07-2015 7:47am

"Fcuk off now, good lad.." would be my general response. I'm quite large, so generally the hint is taken quite quickly.

01-07-2015 7:48am

PTH2009 wrote: »

So its you and your other half and you go to the bar alone to get drinks and when u go back theres some guy or girl trying to get stuck into your partner. What do u do ??

Theres always pests who try and get stuck into girls who are at hen parties etc. I saw a guy dancing with a girl and he keep dancing behind guys who walked past them mocking them, instant punch in the face if someone tried to get a laugh at my expense.

You get used to it. Nothing to worry about or care about I feel - let alone get violent about. I would treat such a person in exactly the same way as anyone else I, we, or they, happened to strike up a conversation with in a bar. I guess some people feel a display of violence or machoism or some such is required to mark your territory or some animalistic thing. But perhaps nothing says "I am secure and not threatened by you" better than simply not caring or being threatened.

Backstreet Moyes · 01-07-2015 7:49am

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

I take it as a compliment and save a few quid on the next round.

My missus is gorgeous so happens all the time.

Thankfully i am not an insecure dope that even needs to ask what the appropriate reaction should be

So you are happy saving money and somebody else spending time with your missus on a night out?

Is the point of going out on a night out with her to spend time with her.

She sounds like a lucky girl if you are happy saving money and happy somebody else is entertaining her instead of you.

osarusan · 01-07-2015 7:58am

I just point out that the long piece of rope tied around her waist ends up in my hands, "so as you can see, she is actually my property."

Once they've seen the rope, that is usually the end of things.

Fishyfreak · 01-07-2015 7:58am

In fairness, when this happens it's usually because the person approaching is locked out of their head and has spotted someone standing alone. 90% of the time they are probably too pissed to notice that you werewith someone a couple of minutes ago.

Backstreet Moyes · 01-07-2015 8:01am

PTH2009 wrote: »

So its you and your other half and you go to the bar alone to get drinks and when u go back theres some guy or girl trying to get stuck into your partner. What do u do ??

Theres always pests who try and get stuck into girls who are at hen parties etc. I saw a guy dancing with a girl and he keep dancing behind guys who walked past them mocking them, instant punch in the face if someone tried to get a laugh at my expense.

You do realise when people are out it's usually to try chat up and meet up with people mostly. Now unfortunately for both men and women who are out to meet someone they are not mind readers. So unless someone has a banner saying they are in a relationship then somebody who approaches a person doesn't know if they are in a relationship.

Their are exceptions of some people who are too drunk or just idiots who don't leave it go and deserve a punch. But most just get embarrassed and walk away when they realise the person is with somebody. Men are not out to embarrass you are make you look like an idiot don't be paranoid.

Just out of curiosity how exactly do you approach women because by your logic if you ever approach someone and they are in a relationship you deserve a punch in the face.

In my situation my other half just tells them she is with someone and when i come back they get embarresed and go but their is the odd idiot who doesn't go.

It's not about jealousy if i am out with her then we are out to enjoy each others company. If she had no interest in a guy but had a big conversation while i was their then i would be pissed because we are out together. Likewise she would be the same if it was me striking up a long conversation with a women.

barneystinson · 01-07-2015 8:04am

il gatto wrote: »

God no. He means a powdered fruit punch you add water to. A fruity splash to dissuade would be cuckholders. It certainly lets them know who's boss.

How does one hold a cuck, I wonder?

il gatto · 01-07-2015 8:07am

So many level headed people here. I'm less so but don't go throwing slaps. I usually just walk back and say hello and look like I'm expecting my missus to introduce him as someone from work or a friend or acquaintance of hers I'd not met. When this doesn't happen, I look at them as if to say "and you're here why?".
Sounds complicated but only takes a few glances, no aggro and the message normally gets across.

GLaDOS · 01-07-2015 8:08am

Returning to my seat usually makes the situation pretty obvious and they somewhat sheepishly say their goodbyes.

il gatto · 01-07-2015 8:10am

barneystinson wrote: »

How does one hold a cuck, I wonder?

With a cuckholder, obviously

this is what happens when you become reliant on auto correct and it does nothing to help sometimes.

Shemale · 01-07-2015 8:18am

Was on a first date with a stunner in a quiet bar where you could see every table, went to the bar , was gone less than a minute to see some fool trying to chat her up.

The table was about 5 foot from an open double door, found the angle, big shoulder and yer man was standing looking down a corridor.

JacquesDeLad · 01-07-2015 8:22am

PTH2009 wrote: »

So its you and your other half and you go to the bar alone to get drinks and when u go back theres some guy or girl trying to get stuck into your partner. What do u do ??

Theres always pests who try and get stuck into girls who are at hen parties etc. I saw a guy dancing with a girl and he keep dancing behind guys who walked past them mocking them, instant punch in the face if someone tried to get a laugh at my expense.

Dump him/her.

You could do without the hassle as could your partner. If you really get bothered that much by such things.

In my experience it's what you don't see that's the biggest threat, but why get upset about events out of your control? Getting paranoid just makes you the dick.

KungPao · 01-07-2015 8:29am

Hire a couple of goons to beat him to a bloody pulp.

Menas · 01-07-2015 8:29am

I would be having words with your partner! A simple 'fcuk off' normally gets rid of someone attempting to chat you up.

Streetwalker · 01-07-2015 8:34am

Ask him to get his langer out and have a measuring contest. If it's a woman hooters out will be fine.

il gatto · 01-07-2015 8:35am

Menas wrote: »

I would be having words with your partner! A simple 'fcuk off' normally gets rid of someone attempting to chat you up.

You must be insecure and territorial. Sure the poor lad is only trying to initiate coitus with the love of your life.

razorblunt · 01-07-2015 9:28am

Massimo Cassagrande wrote: »

"Fcuk off now, good lad.." would be my general response. I'm quite large, so generally the hint is taken quite quickly.

I don't get responses like this. There's no need to to be patronising to the person.
Now had my wife told him that she's married and he still hung around even after it, I'd have no problem with your response.
I'm "quite large" and I've only ever had to use this response once.

The worst scenarios are where, as another post already said, the lad hangs around trying to disguise what he was doing, it gets awkward for everyone!

You'll note I referred to scenarios involving my OH, she's definitely the better half so it happens frequently enough. She used to be a barmaid though so is well able to handle herself with inane chatter.

01-07-2015 9:35am

Massimo Cassagrande wrote: »

"Fcuk off now, good lad.." would be my general response.

+1 on that none of this nicey nicey crap, "Rev up and f*ck off"!

agent graves · 01-07-2015 9:36am

id go over to my girlfriend pretending i didn't know her and start hitting on her infront of the guy hitting on her, she is always up for the laugh and would play along..

GLaDOS · 01-07-2015 9:39am

I assume people advocating an aggressive response would be happy to receive same if they were unknowingly chatting up a taken woman?

Pumpkinseeds · 01-07-2015 9:42am

I just say I'm married. If that doesn't get the message through then 'fcuk off and die' usually does the trick. So I don't actually need my husband to say anything. On occasion when it's happened as soon as my husband comes back they leave, but mostly he's seen them walking off in a huff while he's at the bar. Anyone who knowingly tries to pick up a married man/woman is a cnut in my opinion. If it's some woman trying to chat up my husband the withering look she gets from me as I approach the table usually moves them on fairly quickly.

PizzamanIRL · 01-07-2015 9:46am

Junkyard Tom wrote: »

I'm not entirely sure but it would definitely involve fire.

Burn your partners hair off to reduce the amount of people approaching her?

fussyonion · 01-07-2015 9:49am

It's happened to me and happened recently when we were both down the country for the weekend.

Other half went to the loo and this fella came up and started chatting me up.
I was polite and then he asked where my fella was.
I told him he was in the loo. He said "Oh he's abandoned you!", to which I just smiled.
Then he asked if he could sit down beside me and I told him "No, you're OK".

Other half came back and saw him but he didn't react, just asked if I was alright and was this fella hassling me.

Other fella apologised, shook my fella's hand and walked off.
My other half is a lot more understanding than I would be.
If I saw a girl chatting my fella up, I'd go apesh*t.

Crooked Jack · 01-07-2015 9:49am

PTH2009 wrote: »

So its you and your other half and you go to the bar alone to get drinks and when u go back theres some guy or girl trying to get stuck into your partner. What do u do ??

Theres always pests who try and get stuck into girls who are at hen parties etc. I saw a guy dancing with a girl and he keep dancing behind guys who walked past them mocking them, instant punch in the face if someone tried to get a laugh at my expense.

Got a couple of issues there, have you buddy?
Tell me, who is it youre really angry at? Is it the guy dancing you want to punch, or is it PTH2009 you really want to punch?

PizzamanIRL · 01-07-2015 9:50am

If your partner doesn't have a big neon light above their head, saying "I'm taken", then what's the need for an aggressive approach to the person chatting them up?

They have to talk to the person to find out if they're single or not. You should trust your partner to tell them they're taken if the person tries to make an advance.

Menas · 01-07-2015 9:58am

ScienceNerd wrote: »

I assume people advocating an aggressive response would be happy to receive same if they were unknowingly chatting up a taken woman?

But those advocating an aggressive response are already in relationships and should not be chatting up ANY woman!

mathie · 01-07-2015 9:58am

I'd just punch him in the face to be sure.

Even if it's the waiter, a work mate, a friend, someone asking for directions.
You can never be too sure.

That chugger saying "Hello!" to your missus as you walk down the street?
Insta-punch.

The woman handing out leaflets on Christianity?
A likely story. She's just trying to hit on my woman.
Down you go God-botherer.

That guy returning my womans handbag that she left behind?
Yeah right.
UFC-style haymaker.

Partner being chatted up

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