BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Hate the ambiguity of the "borderline" ... I told a nurse recently that I had borderline personality disorder, then heard her on the phone to the doctor - "she says she has a, eh, mild personality disorder." That's not what I said, as it happens mine would probably be considered at the severe end of the scale rather than "mild", borderline is just the NAME of it. :rolleyes: (I didn't even try saying EUPD, had thought there'd be more chance of her being familiar with BPD.)

I reregistered to post this, I hope that's ok.

My daughter has been unwell the last few months, she is 18 and attended St Pat's. The diagnosis is "an adjustment disorder with emotional unstable personality disorder traits"

Just wondering if anyone has any experience of this, what we are unclear about is, is the emotional unstable personality disorder traits as a result of the adjustment disorder or is it two seperate issues that aren't linked ie can you get a diagnosis of adjustment disorder and seperately have a diagnosis of emotional unstable personality disorder traits.

VENT:CONTEXT:HISTORY

I would say I've had a very different experience in life than anyone else.

I've had more trauma than most people which has given me more anxiety around people and has made me more destructive towards myself in my thoughts and perceptions of myself and therefor the choices I make. 

My upbringing was unstable and periodically abusive or volatile. Never perfectly stable.

Middle class family of divorce and some functional alcoholism. 

I could have been born with a brain that deals with distress less well than others or my brain could have learned to adapt to a scary, frightening atmosphere, where the way to safety was unclear and unstable. 

Unstable upbringings make emotionally unstable people. 

I find I go to escape or panic quicker than others, which is a sign of traumatic life events like fearing my caregivers as a child.

I will sometimes chose to be around abusive people as I am fearful of loneliness. Its a desperate need to be part of a tribe for the sake of survival. Perhaps also gravitating towards familiar styles of people. I've hung out with bullies, junkies and weirdos.

Perhaps I've been seeking the familial acceptance that I never got when I was younger. A need to be validated. A need to have someone tell me I'm not crazy and what I think and feel is correct and appropriate.

A need to be accepted, that usually goes unmet. 

My relationships with friends and family are usually unstable. With family it's understandable because if your family are actually abusive people who invalidate you, then it makes sense to not get along with them.

I have very few friends, which I would say is half due to moving so much as a kid, I moved 3 times before I turned 14.

In my 20's I lived in a cheap apartment, claimed the dole and smoked weed everyday, till around 26, when everyone in the apartment block got kicked out and I returned to an abusive family situation.

I lived with my dad until I was kicked out at the age of 29 and basically didn't know how to do anything. I was suicidal, depressed, addicted to weed and drink and very anxious at the time. I had to stay in a tourist hostel for a few weeks, which really through me into a spiral.

After the hostel I lived in 7 owner occupied houses as a licensee with no tenant rights. I was frequently abused, threatened and manipulated by landlords/ladies.

Anyway, now I'm 33. I go through jobs on a bi weekly basis. Longest I've lasted in a job most recently is 4 months. I've worked in retail, pub kitchens, factories, supermarkets, nursing and then started working in office jobs. I find it very hard to deal with work people and their often toxic personalities. Managers on a power trip and bully colleague's, I find the hardest to deal with.

I got a therapist a couple years ago and speak with her weekly.

I rent rooms in house shares, with strangers and to say that it's difficult is a total understatement. My housing situation is constantly in a state of instability. I think everyone deals with bad room mates so that's normal, but for me the distress is unbearable. People can be so vicious and cruel.

The last house share I was in, I befriended a housemate they all hated and then they turned on me, bullied me out of the house by calling the police on me twice.

Same thing is happening in the house share I'm in now. I always start out friendly and helpful, then a falling out happens over something stupid, it devolves into communication breakdown, the point of no return passes and then a divorce like scenario occurs.

My situation is permanently f~cked and it's difficult to know what parts of my life are broken because of BPD or which parts are broken just from regular people problems.

Vent over.