Those "not available in any shops" music compilations

barneysplash · 08-01-2015 8:27pm #1

Hi all

Does anyone remember the music compilations that were, as the title says, "not available in any shops" ?

These were advertised UTV and Channel 4, ususally late at night.

They were mostly crap soft-rock compilations featuring the likes of Bon Jovi, Marillion
and Mister Big.

The adverts themselves were hilarous, scenarios included:

Some good looking guy on a motorbike rides into a desert town and
picks up a lonely waitress at a diner. They ride off into the sunset to the rocking
sounds of Meat Loaf and Bryan Adams.

A hunky guy in a convertible Cadillac driving along an oceanfront highway.
He picks up this tart in a miniskirt who is hitch-hiking. She gets in and knows that from
the music he is playing, he is a real man who can tame her wild heart.

You've just had a tough day at work in the big city doing graphic design or trading
on the stock market. Jump in your red sports car, hit the open road and let Phil Collins,
ELO and Suzi Quattro melt away the stress.

Funny stuff.

Professey Chin · 09-01-2015 2:25pm

Was only talking about these with my cousin a few weeks ago! The ones after Eurosport and TV3 finished were amazing.

You can buy the complete Songs of Praise boxset containing such classics as Our God!
OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD!!!

darkdubh · 10-01-2015 1:07am

What period are we talking here?Late 80s/early 90s,Noughties?

Ruu · 10-01-2015 1:19am

Big hair metal or love songs, always on when channels were closing or some ungodly hour.

These are kind of new.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGLA2JdBXR4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rep3NciBXg

Professey Chin · 10-01-2015 8:23pm

I FOUND IT!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYrbTWUdKKc

Ruu · 12-01-2015 1:26am

"But wait...":eek::eek: You mean, THERES MORE!!?!?!!

barneysplash · 13-01-2015 11:41am

Here is one in Spanish..

and the track listing, it reads like a who's who of obscene material.

http://www.discogs.com/Various-Burning-Heart/release/1710554

Thankfully, you cannot obtain this kind of dangerous equipment anymore on the open market.

A few years ago, the UN interviened and had these monstrosities rightly classed as weapons of
mass destruction, like landmines or mustard gas.

It was passed in Security Counicl Resolution 886 - "A proposal to outlaw production, distribution
and usage of restricted purchase music compendiums in contravention of article 6 of the UN charter
on torture."

Never again will innocent people be subjected to thinking mullets, stone washed denim and hot pink
electric guitars are "cool". We should be grateful.

chopper6 · 13-01-2015 1:17pm

They all seemed to be released by K-Tel back in the 70's.

barneysplash · 13-01-2015 4:40pm

Don't forget the label Telstar, they released some really bad stuff. They were the Exxon Valdez of music distribution.

BlaasForRafa · 15-01-2015 6:52pm

Back in the 90's I'd trawl the charity shops and 2nd hand record shops for vinyl albums and they'd all be infested by "Top of the Pops" compilations from the 70's with some dolly bird on the cover. I don't think they had anything to do with the tv programme, it's just the BBC didn't bother protecting their trademark properly.

And the thing is, none of the songs on them were the songs by the original artists, they were all done by 3rd rate session bands on the cheap. Here's a compilation of risible versions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tviFKY4h-50

barneysplash · 15-01-2015 7:38pm

BlaasForRafa wrote: »

Back in the 90's I'd trawl the charity shops and 2nd hand record shops for vinyl albums

You must have found some seriously dodgy stuff if you've been crate digging for vinyl since the 90s. Do tell...

chopper6 · 16-01-2015 1:00pm

When i worked in Dunnes Stores they had one of these compilations playing relentlessly over the tannoy.

Excruciating cover versions played by somebody on a Hammond Organ that after being played on a loop for six hours became almost a reason alone to want to quit.

To this day i can remember the horrific rendition of Culture Club.."do you really want to hurt meeee" followed by "dum dum dum dum" on the organ...it makes my stomach lurch.

BlaasForRafa · 16-01-2015 10:57pm

barneysplash wrote: »

You must have found some seriously dodgy stuff if you've been crate digging for vinyl since the 90s. Do tell...

Crate digging in the nineties rather than since, I'd say I quit about 10 years ago at least. Bear in mind that I was looking for good stuff rather than bad but I did pick up the odd just for the sake of great (bad) cover.

For example, my absolute favourite great/bad cover is Chaquito and the Quedo Brass

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-xFRkVn_pU

What you get inside is the kind of lounge music you'd expect at early Mad Men type cocktail parties.

Then there's Anne Dell and her "Move into the Hammond Spectrum with the Swingin Anna Dell"

enlarge.cgi?image=08593_a.jpg&ref=08593&name=Anna%20Dell%20-%20Move%20Into%20The%20hammond%20Spectrum

enlarge.cgi?image=08593_a.jpg&ref=08593&name=Anna%20Dell%20-%20Move%20Into%20The%20hammond%20Spectrum

which is exactly what it says on the cover.

James Last - Cap'n James.

Well it's feckin James Last so you get loads of german oompah music with a nautical theme

And then there's Topol Sings Israeli Freedom Songs

which is EXACTLY as bad as you'd think it would be...he's got a grenade on his chin ffs!

nlgbbbblth · 18-01-2015 7:14pm

barneysplash wrote: »

Don't forget the label Telstar, they released some really bad stuff. They were the Exxon Valdez of music distribution.

And some great dance compilations like Deep Heat, Get On This, Thin Ice.

Plus 1987's The Dance Chart which is the only place to get the following 7" edits on CD
Freeez – I.O.U. Essential freestyle that got a new lease of life in ’87.
Timex Social Club – Rumors. A glorious slice of weekender funk.
Whistle – Just Buggin’. Silly yet addictive hip hop.
The Concept – Mr DJ. A strange oddity based on a radio show phone-in that’s best listened on headphones late at night. Features the unforgettable Liz.

They also put out annual Greatest Hits Of compilations which went head-to-head with Now and Hits.

Their Greatest Hits Of 1987 is a classic.

nlgbbbblth · 18-01-2015 7:19pm

BlaasForRafa wrote: »

Back in the 90's I'd trawl the charity shops and 2nd hand record shops for vinyl albums and they'd all be infested by "Top of the Pops" compilations from the 70's with some dolly bird on the cover. I don't think they had anything to do with the tv programme, it's just the BBC didn't bother protecting their trademark properly.

And the thing is, none of the songs on them were the songs by the original artists, they were all done by 3rd rate session bands on the cheap. Here's a compilation of risible versions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tviFKY4h-50

They threw up some gems - Pretty Vacant, Autobahn, Gary Gilmore's Eyes and Public Image.

Volume 91 from 1982 is a tough pull; a cracking version of Shakatak's Nightbirds.

nlgbbbblth · 18-01-2015 7:23pm

BlaasForRafa wrote: »

Crate digging in the nineties rather than since, I'd say I quit about 10 years ago at least. Bear in mind that I was looking for good stuff rather than bad but I did pick up the odd just for the sake of great (bad) cover.

You could have picked a better James Last LP. What about Voodoo Party, Well Kept Secret, Hair, Paintings or Seduction. He has loads of funky moments.

I kickstarted my lounge fix in 1995 with Ray Davies and The Button Down Brass - Theme From The Exorcist LP.
There's hundreds of worthwhile albums in the genre - many one-trackers.

BlaasForRafa · 18-01-2015 10:22pm

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

You could have picked a better James Last LP. What about Voodoo Party, Well Kept Secret, Hair, Paintings or Seduction. He has loads of funky moments.

Perhaps "cover" was the wrong word to use in this context. I meant I picked up the odd album here or there just for its attractive or quirky sleeve.

cml387 · 21-01-2015 2:51pm

KTEL were probably the prototype compilation kings with extensive TV promotion.
I have a KTEL punk album (don't ask). They packed a lot of music into the record but because they were so packed the grooves had to be very thin, hence the sound was awful, more crackle and pop than music.

The first really big TV advertised compilation I remember was a Slim Whitman collection.

And I'm old enough to remember the "Top Of The Pops" compilations from the seventies, cover versions of the latest hits with a pretty girl on the cover, sold in Woolworths

nlgbbbblth · 21-01-2015 7:56pm

cml387 wrote: »

KTEL were probably the prototype compilation kings with extensive TV promotion.
I have a KTEL punk album (don't ask). They packed a lot of music into the record but because they were so packed the grooves had to be very thin, hence the sound was awful, more crackle and pop than music.

10 or more tracks per side, awful quality.

Vinyl pressings of CD-era compilations generally sounded poor due to the amount of music crammed into the grooves and the long playing time. The CD equivalents, although much more expensive (especially for double CDs in a fatbox), were a much better option.

7" or 12" singles sound great as a standalone items.

However a compilation LP featuring nine or ten 7" mixes on one side OR five 12" extended versions on one side was always going to sound inferior to the CD. I especially noticed it playing such LPs over a club system.

Del.Monte · 21-01-2015 8:07pm

I had one of the early K-Tel albums back in the 1970s (a plain purple cover?) and my main memory of it is the sizzling background sound caused by the cramming of tracks on each side - was it only 10 as it seemed more like 20.

nlgbbbblth · 21-01-2015 8:27pm

I remember when the Now That's What I Call Music albums went to 40 tracks - around the time of Now 25. The vinyl releases continued until Now 35 [November 1996] but I don't know who the hell was buying them as there was about 37 minutes of music per side. I imagine that their total sales on vinyl between Ireland and the UK must have been in the low hundreds at that stage.

who the fug · 21-01-2015 8:32pm

BlaasForRafa wrote: »

Back in the 90's I'd trawl the charity shops and 2nd hand record shops for vinyl albums and they'd all be infested by "Top of the Pops" compilations from the 70's with some dolly bird on the cover. I don't think they had anything to do with the tv programme, it's just the BBC didn't bother protecting their trademark properly.

And the thing is, none of the songs on them were the songs by the original artists, they were all done by 3rd rate session bands on the cheap. Here's a compilation of risible versions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tviFKY4h-50

These guys were not third rate session musicians.

Trevor Horn cut his teeth on this

who the fug · 21-01-2015 9:32pm

chopper6 wrote: »

When i worked in Dunnes Stores they had one of these compilations playing relentlessly over the tannoy.

Excruciating cover versions played by somebody on a Hammond Organ that after being played on a loop for six hours became almost a reason alone to want to quit.

To this day i can remember the horrific rendition of Culture Club.."do you really want to hurt meeee" followed by "dum dum dum dum" on the organ...it makes my stomach lurch.

No wonder that Dunne's strike went on for so long

Lovely Bloke · 21-01-2015 10:20pm

TimeLife was also a producer and would have had the ads on TV.

I worked on the phone lines in Sydney for 3 months, cracking job, upsell, upsell, upsell, and the antipodeans loved my accent!

Swinging Sixties, Romance of the Fifties, a Jessica Fletcher DVD Collection are three I remember would have been on heavy rotation.

We'd get a schedule each morning of which times and TV channels the Ads would be on, and what program would be on at the time, so we could chat to the callers.

The call centre would have hourly, daily and weekly sales targets - the prize would be vouchers for Woolies - I made so much money on the vouchers that I was able to supply drink for 8 people for Xmas Day on the beach.

nlgbbbblth · 21-01-2015 10:22pm

Time Life have some good compilations. Generally well mastered and frequently include the hit versions / 7" mixes.

cml387 · 21-01-2015 10:26pm

There used to be a website (can't find it now) which carried a lot of information about the budget labels, Pickwick, Winfield, Music For Pleasure,Warwick.

The Kinks seem to feature in a lot of these compilations. I wonder if Ray was getting any cut or had he signed all his rights away?

nlgbbbblth · 21-01-2015 10:37pm

cml387 wrote: »

There used to be a website (can't find it now) which carried a lot of information about the budget labels, Pickwick, Winfield, Music For Pleasure,Warwick.

The Kinks seem to feature in a lot of these compilations. I wonder if Ray was getting any cut or had he signed all his rights away?

Vinyl Vulture

still accessible through The Wayback Machine

http://web.archive.org/web/20050415000000*/http://www.vinylvulture.co.uk

Was a major source of info for me.

who the fug · 22-01-2015 8:55am

I know its wiki but reading this give an idea of who these session musicians were, BBC radio 4 had a very interesting show about them a couple of years ago.

cml387 · 22-01-2015 9:05am

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

Vinyl Vulture

still accessible through The Wayback Machine

http://web.archive.org/web/20050415000000*/http://www.vinylvulture.co.uk

Was a major source of info for me.

That's the one . Many thanks.

BlaasForRafa · 24-01-2015 2:41am

who the fug wrote: »

These guys were not third rate session musicians.

You're entitled to your opinion of course, as am I. I've listened to a bunch of these and most of the versions on them are awful.

who the fug wrote: »

Trevor Horn cut his teeth on this

Aside from Drama by Yes and the production of Lexicon of Love by ABC I don't particularly care for Trevor Horns work so citing him doesn't particularly do anything for me.

BlaasForRafa · 24-01-2015 3:11am

When my father passed away eventually there occurred the inevitable dispersal of his possessions. As none of my siblings were interested, I took his book and record collection. Not a big collection by any means but I guess when you have a typically big Irish family then he didn't have much spare cash for himself. Among what he did have though were several box-sets of vinyl lp's ordered from that venerable magazine, The Readers Digest. In the 70's ordering from a catalogue was their version of buying from off the internet I guess.

I got them out of the cupboard they are in at the moment and took a couple of photos.

I'm pretty sure that the set Festival of Light Classics was his favourite, I certainly recall it was the most played. Visually it's a very nice set too, with nicely themed record sleeve covers.

One of the sets still has the original documentation with it, the sort of stuff that would have normally been thrown away or used I guess. I scanned them in case anyone is interested (probably not I'd imagine) but they do sort of give a snapshot of the service the Readers Digest offered and the products they carried. I just put links to the images here because I didn't bother resizing them after scanning them

Introduction Letter - http://imgur.com/j5Wcf9d,TuJPVdX,a7yxG5P,bO7W2wC,U1ZW1mV,PXF98TQ,aBY2N5S,YHtPyg9#2

Guarantee of Quality - http://imgur.com/j5Wcf9d,TuJPVdX,a7yxG5P,bO7W2wC,U1ZW1mV,PXF98TQ,aBY2N5S,YHtPyg9#4

Readers Digest 1975 Record Set Collection Price list -Page 1
http://imgur.com/j5Wcf9d,TuJPVdX,a7yxG5P,bO7W2wC,U1ZW1mV,PXF98TQ,aBY2N5S,YHtPyg9#7

Page 2 http://imgur.com/j5Wcf9d,TuJPVdX,a7yxG5P,bO7W2wC,U1ZW1mV,PXF98TQ,aBY2N5S,YHtPyg9#0

Order Form - http://imgur.com/j5Wcf9d,TuJPVdX,a7yxG5P,bO7W2wC,U1ZW1mV,PXF98TQ,aBY2N5S,YHtPyg9#3

Those "not available in any shops" music compilations

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