Head ****

TeddyTedson · 03-12-2012 3:51am #1

[QUOTEWhy have I ****ed up my life so purposely. Why can't I get help for the problms I know I have. Why did I just think about kiling myself and feel a sudden urge of hopelessness and manage to stop myself. Self loathing much, yes. Why - I have no ****ing iden. Some people have problems, friends of mine have problems thta I advise them on. I can't explain it. I hope I fix my fuched up head and I understand most people online could care less and for that I'm genuinely sorry. But this feels so **** right now I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry for posting in AH but my head is ****ed. Every day I honestly think of dying before I sleep. I think I want it, unsure why. I ****ed my head up myself. The thought of being mono in work all day for the week doesn't help. I can't be myself there. I can't even laugh at other peoples jokes. I'm a zombie. I know I'm mostly disliked here and this adding fuel but I don't know what else I should do. Sorry for such a pity post but I can't take it. I'm not going to kill myself or anything but fell so sad is the only way to decrib it. I dont know what comments i should expect but i dont need any kind ones and i know i dont deserve it. There are no tears in my eyes. I'm sorruy but i just want to felel good again like i used to.][/QUOTE]

I typed this out less than 10mins ago. Just goes to show how much alcohol can **** with people. There is no god, there is no afterlife. Remember that next time you feel like doing something short termly stupid. Death is unforgiving

Apologies

Senna · 03-12-2012 3:58am

I've been drunk many times, but i never felt like that. I dont think alcohol has anything to do with it. Maybe go and see your GP, no point feeling like this when there is help available.

Napper Hawkins · 03-12-2012 3:59am

Yeah, welcome to the rest of existence. Pointless, unending nothing. It's fun, really. Until it ends.

B.A._Baracus · 03-12-2012 4:00am

Teddy, from the bottom of my heart I think you shouldnt be posting that on here and that perhaps you should seek help. As you know you wont get help here.... but examples of how people can be assholes.

Sadly all you do with that post is "air dirty laundry" and expose yourself to incentive people.

Maximus Alexander · 03-12-2012 4:03am

AH might not be the greatest place to post this. That said, it sounds to me like you're suffering from depression. As someone who battles with it, I really suggest you seek professional help. Depression is an illness and it can be cured, or at the very least managed. You won't always feel the way you do right now, but you need to take steps to change it.

If you're reluctant to go to your doctor, at the absolute least, you need to have a chat with someone close to you about the way you're feeling. I absolutely guarantee you that talking helps.

FanadMan · 03-12-2012 4:06am

Not an AH type answer but go get get help - whether it's your GP or your local hospital or The Samaratins, just do it. Might feel worse asking for help but is better than the consequences.

Chuck Stone · 03-12-2012 4:09am

I'd say ease off on the booze for a while and talk to someone you trust Ted.

Look after yourself.

1ZRed · 03-12-2012 4:13am

I think you should lay off posting here for a bit maybe. It's usually a pit of pricks when it comes to stuff like this. Ease off and chat to someone to help sort out whatever is on your chest. Bottling things up is a cvnt and only fecks everything else up, in my experience anyway.

It's only for the best so you can be back on form and back to your old ways again, Ted

MadsL · 03-12-2012 4:13am

A friend of mine is living the most amazing life, professionally pursuing (teaching) a sport he loves, in an amazing location overseas.

Three years ago he was a depressed mess. He finally got into therapy after many of his friends insisting, and six months ago finally got on an anti-depressant prescription after resisting and resisting.

Last conversation I had with him was about how much life was amazing, how he leapt out of bed in the morning and loved life. He said he should have taken them years ago.

So, please, go see someone and talk about this, it will make a difference.

G_R · 03-12-2012 4:14am

It sounds like you're battling some serious stuff, and not to be all preachy, but for your own good, this is really not the right place to be posting.

Here is a link to the Samaritans website.

http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

Maybe give them a call, it's amazing how much talking about something can help.

TheFisherKing · 03-12-2012 4:19am

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I know I'm mostly disliked here

Teddy, that's not true but even if it was, you should never care what anyone online thinks of the little they know of you.

Oh and soon you will realise that everyone's head is fcuked, some are just better at hiding it than others.

Watch some inspirational movies and comedies or check out Alexis Texas vids, she will restore your faith in humanity, I swear it

TeddyTedson · 03-12-2012 4:20am

Some kind replies. That I wasn't expecting. Respect to that. I'm bring all sorts of the wrong attention, and for that I'm sorry. Honestly do I feel good - no. Am I going to kill myself - Never. I need to live, but not like an unemotional **** head like I am now. I have no problems. I've just lost life in myself and for that I can only blame myself. I don't think I'm some sort of prick who craves attention but now I have to question that. What sort of self loathing little prick actually posts this ****. Harsh? Hardly, it's what's everyone's thinking.

darced · 03-12-2012 4:49am

This post has been deleted.

HeyThereDeliah · 03-12-2012 6:34am

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Some kind replies. That I wasn't expecting. Respect to that. I'm bring all sorts of the wrong attention, and for that I'm sorry. Honestly do I feel good - no. Am I going to kill myself - Never. I need to live, but not like an unemotional **** head like I am now. I have no problems. I've just lost life in myself and for that I can only blame myself. I don't think I'm some sort of prick who craves attention but now I have to question that. What sort of self loathing little prick actually posts this ****. Harsh? Hardly, it's what's everyone's thinking.

Telling people on line is easy but you need to talk to professionals, tell them what you have said on here.
There is help out there but the first step is admitting there is a problem. Life can be good, bad,indifferent but we are in charge of our own destiny and life is what you make of it.

Take care.

Head ****

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