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Little Experience VS Loads!

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  • 24-01-2015 2:02pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Not really sure what advice to expect here but here goes.

    I'm 26 and never really had a boyfriend. I was seeing a guy for a few months last year but he emigrated. It something that makes me super anxious from time to time.

    What makes it worse is that since I haven't had a boyfriend, I don't have a lot of experience with anal. I just wouldn't be able to do it with a stranger/random hookup. I've tried it with two mates but neither time was that great (I was in both positions) and tried it a couple of times with the guy I was seeing last year but it wasn't important at all to him and since I didn't have much/good experiences with it we just stuck to the other stuff.

    The thing is I've been on a few dates this past fortnight and every single one of the guys have had long term, meaningful relationships that included tonnes of sex, renting apartments with each other and owning pets together. One dude referred to a 1-year relationship as a 'short one'. I don't know what it is but it just makes me anxious and I start to overthink and freeze up because these guys have done all this stuff and I'm not even in the same league when it comes to experience.

    I'm super comfortable being gay and being with guys but it seems like the older I get the worse this anxiety over relationships/experience is getting. I know I'm still young and this probably sounds ridiculous to everybody here but any advice?


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    #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    What is it you're worried about,the sex inexperience or the relationship inexperience?
    Forget about both to be honest and live in the moment of any new friendship
    Talk about stuff in common,be interested in what they talk about
    Above all laugh with them and enjoy their company
    Those are the basics
    Everything/anything else follows and if it doesn't,strictly follow the rule that it's their loss
    But to be honest,if you do the basics above and find you click,you'll be grand,best of luck ;)


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    #3
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    gasur na ngasur wrote: »
    Not really sure what advice to expect here but here goes.

    I'm 26 and never really had a boyfriend. I was seeing a guy for a few months last year but he emigrated. It something that makes me super anxious from time to time.

    What makes it worse is that since I haven't had a boyfriend, I don't have a lot of experience with anal. I just wouldn't be able to do it with a stranger/random hookup. I've tried it with two mates but neither time was that great (I was in both positions) and tried it a couple of times with the guy I was seeing last year but it wasn't important at all to him and since I didn't have much/good experiences with it we just stuck to the other stuff.

    The thing is I've been on a few dates this past fortnight and every single one of the guys have had long term, meaningful relationships that included tonnes of sex, renting apartments with each other and owning pets together. One dude referred to a 1-year relationship as a 'short one'. I don't know what it is but it just makes me anxious and I start to overthink and freeze up because these guys have done all this stuff and I'm not even in the same league when it comes to experience.

    I'm super comfortable being gay and being with guys but it seems like the older I get the worse this anxiety over relationships/experience is getting. I know I'm still young and this probably sounds ridiculous to everybody here but any advice?

    I came out at 26, had little to no experience with either sex up to that, and didn't really know what I was doing most of the time.

    I knew I had to step out of my comfort zone to change any of that, which I did.

    What I learned was that

    (a) most guys are just as nervous as I was when meeting at first, regardless of how long they were out

    (b) most guys were fairly understanding and

    (c) it was a far bigger deal in my head than it was in real life.


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    #4
    Rick_
    Registered Users Posts: 2,606 ✭✭✭Rick_


    Can't really add more than what floggg said above. I did not have much/any real experience at all (I'm 30 now) until last year when I tried anal for the first time with my boyfriend. I found the exact same things as already posted above and realised that I do enjoy it from time to time. Besides, there are plenty more fun things you can do apart from anal if you or your partner aren't in to it. Don't worry about experience or the perception that everyone has been there and done it all and you haven't. The right guy will not care and be more than happy to join you on your discovery of your own body and what you like and don't like. :)


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