Have you ever cheated the system? And how.

1. Pass 10 Baht coins off as 2 Euro with Dublin Bus. Do that all the time. Usually come back to Ireland with a heap of them just to do them over.
2. Sneak an odd 10 Baht coin into a stack of 2 Euro coins when paying for drinks at nightclubs if they are too expensive.
3. Smuggle in cigarettes for friends and family. If the bailout is good enough for the Banks, its good enough for me.

On the other side.

1. Import cars using a tax exemption for foreigners. Then 'lease' them to local friends and split the difference between us.

Amongst a few other....semi legal deals. Not really harmful but putting one over on the boyos in charge. Honesty starts at the top, and politicians should be seen to lead by example. And that starts when Bertie Ahern is in Mountjoy in front of a firing squad.

One of the best ones came in 1990 with the introduction of the Pound coin. Vending machines were incorrectly calibrated. One evening, while comparing a past Irish coin set (Pre decimal) and (Decimal), I looked.

"Oh hello nurse....." and the lamplight lights in my mind.

The pre decimal penny and pound.....

I was 14....and thought.

"I can go to the coin dealer and get 12 of these old pennies for a pound"

Lets try.....something new. Went to get cigarettes which were 2.05 a pack of twenty back then, and tested it on a vending machine

"Clunk clunk, drop"

Out came 20 John Player Blue.

"RESULT"

So it was a case of my friends and I heading down to Mother Redcaps market and cleaning the old coin dealers out of pre decimal pennies.

Over the next month, before they realised, we must have turned 12 quid each into 200 quid with the cigarette scam. There was also my favourite target.....Dublin Bus.....using the coins painted with silver paint. The drivers were too 'rushed' to notice, and for the childs fare of 30 pence, we were getting back 70 pence. Several times a day in July 1990, the massive 'laundering' scheme built up stacks of coins with Italia 90 drawing to a close. Then it was back to Mother Redcaps, Georges Street Arcade, Grafton....to repeat the process.

Mum thought I was on the game when she saw 3 x 20 notes in the room....and it was going to take explaining. Even on a paper round, it was too much cash back then to get away with, since it was normally put in the Post office if I had over 20 quid at once and she knew how much I had.....prevented me drinking, smoking.....or generally being too bad. AND.....I was notoriously frugal back then. I would'nt spend Christmas.

Mum has also found the silver paint and the pennies under preparation, and she was not buying the excuse that this was for "an art competition". Especially with the article about the compatibility problem in the Evening Herald. And much as I tried to lie, I could'nt lie for nuts.

I explained.

She was bemused...... "No wonder you were so willing to cycle out and get cigarettes for Dad and I"

"How much did you make from the scam"

"About 60 quid"

Which was promptly confiscated and handled over to my Grandfather who helped in St Vincent De Paul, and no pocket money for 3 months either. By mid August, the Central Bank of Ireland was alerted, along with the vendors, so it was game over.

So it was a Robin Hood of sorts......even if it was against my will.

She rescinded in January on a good school report (came top of the class) and backdated the pocket money, as I was extra goodie two shoes. Cue the return of 3 crisp blue 20 pound notes.....SWEET.

Meanwhile....lying underneath the bed lay an enormous stash of shrapnel from Dublin Bus.

And one lesson I did learn.......be economical with the truth.