Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

kaimera · 11-10-2012 11:48am

First time poster but they say step1 is admitting you have a problem.

Hi,

I'm kai (lol) and I have depression for the last double digit months that I know of.

Talked to my GP and he put me on cipramil (10mg/1 per day).

I'm not great at taking them constantly, don't like the idea of living on tabs just to get thru the day

but I took a positive step today; I rang and got a new prescription for them.

I hate my job; everything annoys me lately and I feel constantly pissed off.

It's affecting my home more lately

fml

11-10-2012 12:21pm

Had an episode on the train today. I managed to convince myself that the guy sitting across from myself was listening to my thoughts. The more I tried to rationalise that that was impossible, the more some primal part of my brain told me it was true and he could hear everything. I ended up missing my stop completely and had to double back.
No more skipping breakfast and relying on caffeine to keep me going, methinks.

Gremlinertia · 11-10-2012 1:12pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Had an episode on the train today. I managed to convince myself that the guy sitting across from myself was listening to my thoughts. The more I tried to rationalise that that was impossible, the more some primal part of my brain told me it was true and he could hear everything. I ended up missing my stop completely and had to double back.
No more skipping breakfast and relying on caffeine to keep me going, methinks.

I rely on caffeine for some of my longer shifts but find myself getting quite paranoid after a while. Usually i'm very logical but can't quite rid myself of the odd notions that come up, you're not the only one.

RubyXI · 11-10-2012 8:11pm

Just came into my head that I should see a doctor, Won't happen though.

Gremlinertia · 11-10-2012 10:06pm

phi3 wrote: »

Just came into my head that I should see a doctor, Won't happen though.

Maybe it's something that's coming to pass for you soon?. Took me years, i was very stubborn, but once i went despite some speed wobbles on both sides it's been mostly a plus thing. Hope you're ok..

RubyXI · 11-10-2012 10:15pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Maybe it's something that's coming to pass for you soon?. Took me years, i was very stubborn, but once i went despite some speed wobbles on both sides it's been mostly a plus thing. Hope you're ok..

I've had depression all my life so it's just who I am. It seems wrong to go to the doctor for who you are

Gremlinertia · 11-10-2012 10:18pm

I've pretty much always been the same too. But one time i saw there could be something i dunno, better or less paranoid, i remember it and so i'm attempting to get there or somewhere close.

flyswatter · 11-10-2012 10:18pm

phi3 wrote: »

I've had depression all my life so it's just who I am. It seems wrong to go to the doctor for who you are

Try not to look at it that way, it's an illness just like someone with Haemophilia or Diabetes would require medical attention. Oh, and definitely don't let it define you as a person.

Princess Peach · 11-10-2012 10:38pm

I've also gotten blood tests to determine if there was any medical reason for the symptoms of depression, as there sometimes can be. So that's a good reason to see the doctor

Hersheys · 12-10-2012 7:14am

I give up. I've tried talking to my friends about the past few days. Not a single response. Out of sight, out of mind

darkhorse · 12-10-2012 11:16am

Hersheys wrote: »

I give up. I've tried talking to my friends about the past few days. Not a single response. Out of sight, out of mind

Don't give up. Talk to us, we will listen. There's nothing that cant be solved.:)

Hersheys · 12-10-2012 11:24am

Long story short I haven't been able to get through to my GP so I went to a different doc this morning about my almost constant panic attacks since the other day. The one thing I said was please don't increase my meds, I can't function on the higher dose - I really need my concentration to be tip top at the minute as we're working towards an important deadline next week in work. I was hoping for just something short term until I can see my therapist. What does she do? Increases the meds

So I'm trying (and failing) to get through to my GP to see what he thinks, I don't feel comfortable upping them without his say-so.

I'm completely freaking out at the minute. I'm a big mess. Bag of nerves. Doesn't seem to matter what I do I can't relax. I've tried breathing exercises, relaxation, fresh air, diazepam - no matter what I do I have this crushing feeling in my chest that I can't breathe. I can't fight the feeling at all. It's a horrible feeling.

I just want someone to be at the other end of the phone telling me it's going to be okay

Princess Peach · 12-10-2012 12:03pm

Aw Hersheys that's lousy about your friends

I don't like to make excuses but I guess it can be a hard thing for people to understand and talk about? Sadly I've been in the same position many times. Moved away alone this year and the people who were meant to be my closest friends didn't bother to keep contact, never responded to my emails. Last time I spoke to one friend was in about February when I text her during a terrible panic attack, and she never got back to me since.

Its hard to be away, and I have friends here but none I'm close enough to that I would feel comfortable sharing these things. Would be nice to have an old friend I could email or text and know I'd get a reply.

As for the new doctor Hersheys, I'd be a little concerned that they just went against your wishes there. I'm not sure if there is another alternative until you see your therapist, but if you're not comfortable it may just add to your stress. Hope you get through to your own doctor soon

How can you not get through? Did you tell the receptionist it was an emergency?

12-10-2012 12:12pm

Mental health services need regulation, conference told

Just spotted this on the Irish Times website this morning and it's a very welcome read; I have been at the hands of a private counsellor who messed with my head, I came out of four weeks there more screwed up than I had started. I researched her qualifications after the event and found out she had a diploma in counselling obtained over three months from an evening course, and was only a part time counsellor... wise in retrospect. If regulation means people like her have to conform to a standard and answer to somebody, this could go some ways towards protecting people who only attend because they're already vunerable.

COUNSELLING AND psychotherapy services in Ireland urgently need to be regulated in the manner of other professions, a conference on suicide has heard.

An absence of proper regulation had caused situations where some mental health patients suffered severe damage, according to Fine Gael TD Dan Neville, president of the Irish Association of Suicidology.

Speaking at the annual conference of the association, Mr Neville was critical of the ease with which some qualifications in counselling could be obtained. He cited the example of a diploma qualification on eating disorders that could be obtained over a number of weekends.

Hersheys · 12-10-2012 12:12pm

I've text them all and nobody is responding

I'm in a major panic episode (doctors words, not mine!) and I just need some support. Family have no idea what's going on so I'm kinda stuck to rely on my friends. I know when they eventually get in touch they'll apologise but it's not right

I'm not happy with the decision of the new doctor so unless I can get talking to my GP I don't feel comfortable upping my doses based on the opinion of someone who didn't even listen properly... And it's a very long story about my GP :P

maik3n · 12-10-2012 5:52pm

Having a tough time of it here.

Suffering really bad with health anxiety (my eyes)

I basically waited too long to see an optician, who diagnosed me as being short-sighted. I started noticing the problem about a year or so ago but I guess I had let the tension, anxiety, fear get the better of me. I started having really bad panic attacks, concerned that something REALLY bad was wrong with my eyes. I was/am a complete bag of nerves at times, due to the sheer terror of it all.

The optician ultimately prescribed glasses for PC/TV and driving back in July. Unfortunately this didn't help a whole lot.
Well, OK, it helps in so far as, I do/did have a legitimate medical problem so my fears were somewhat warranted, I need them obviously and I can read the info on TV better now.

However, it hasn't helped the anxiety around my eyes. I'm even more conscious of them now. I'm anxious when wearing them, as my eyes adjust to using them. I'm anxious after taking them off as my eyesight goes back to normal, so to speak.
I'm anxious about not using the glasses for tv/pc, when/if I forget them. I'm anxious about looking at TV without them for fear something bad will happen. It's becoming a big case of OCD in a way.

I'm sure my colleagues at work are quite peeved at times now too. If I'm out of the office when they ask for help, instead of going with them, I usually have to run back to my office to get my glasses because I'm THAT anxious about not wearing them when looking at any PC screen.
It's a struggle at times too, bordering on exhausting, putting on a brave face at work when I'm in bits inside worrying about my eye problem.

I have the same struggle at home too. Family have done their best to help, brought me here, there and everywhere but nothing has really worked. I can see they are just TIRED of it all now and are just saying, will U EVER JUST SNAP the FLUTE OUT IT. So I'm double jobbing in a way, putting on a brave face for them and at work.

Cutting a long story short, after trying anti-anxiety meds, 1 months course, 3 times over the past year, (I'd go great guns for a while and manage to forget the issue but then the thoughts would come back again) my GP referred me to the HSE psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with having mild depression, mixed with anxiety and obsessive thoughts.
I'm now on 20mg prozamel daily and will be getting CBT when my name comes up on the waiting list.

Truth be told, I can be a bit of a hypochondriac at times. It's just that this particular issue has really stuck with me for some reason?

Princess Peach · 12-10-2012 10:46pm

Not feeling good tonight at all. Tried to study but couldn't concentrate, don't really feel like doing anything at all but gonna try and focus on a film now.

13-10-2012 6:45am

I met my favourite musician at a party last night. I should feel great but I literally got home, crawled into bed and started sobbing because I feel like I will never be that important. I wanted to tell him how his band became an anchor for me when I was really suicidal, but I knew that would be too creepy. Instead I just said "Your music makes me really happy", which doesn't even begin to describe my feelings. It makes me wish things like depression and suicide weren't such taboo subjects. I'd like to be able to tell someone how much they mean to me without tiptoeing around some of the most important reasons

Hersheys · 13-10-2012 7:31am

Panic all night

flyswatter · 13-10-2012 10:17am

Deleted User wrote: »

I met my favourite musician at a party last night. I should feel great but I literally got home, crawled into bed and started sobbing because I feel like I will never be that important. I wanted to tell him how his band became an anchor for me when I was really suicidal, but I knew that would be too creepy. Instead I just said "Your music makes me really happy", which doesn't even begin to describe my feelings. It makes me wish things like depression and suicide weren't such taboo subjects. I'd like to be able to tell someone how much they mean to me without tiptoeing around some of the most important reasons

I think anyone would like to hear that about their music. Can I ask who it is?

13-10-2012 12:04pm

flyswatter wrote: »

I think anyone would like to hear that about their music. Can I ask who it is?

He's the bassist of a Japanese band called Girugamesh. I've been a fan since I was 17. I'm glad he was really sweet to me, but I just feel terrible after meeting him.

Acacia · 14-10-2012 12:31am

Random question more on the anxiety side of things... is anyone else terrified of answering the phone in work? Not just a bit nervous, but actually terrified!

I know it may seem like a small, non-issue for some but it really effects me on a day-to-day basis- my adrenaline actually starts pumping, my stomach knots whenever I hear my phone ring and inwardly I'm hoping to God (or Buddha, or whoever

) that someone else will get it! I always stutter like a dope whenever I do have to answer and give the wrong information, even though I know the right answer most of the time. I feel like it actually is affecting my work performance. One time I made a balls of a call in front of my boss and spent the next week feeling like crap about it. I felt so stupid and embarrassed, which is not a great combo when you're already prone to anxiety/depression!

Is there anyone else like me?

darkhorse · 14-10-2012 1:30am

Acacia wrote: »

Random question more on the anxiety side of things... is anyone else terrified of answering the phone in work? Not just a bit nervous, but actually terrified!

I know it may seem like a small, non-issue for some but it really effects me on a day-to-day basis- my adrenaline actually starts pumping, my stomach knots whenever I hear my phone ring and inwardly I'm hoping to God (or Buddha, or whoever ) that someone else will get it! I always stutter like a dope whenever I do have to answer and give the wrong information, even though I know the right answer most of the time. I feel like it actually is affecting my work performance. One time I made a balls of a call in front of my boss and spent the next week feeling like crap about it. I felt so stupid and embarrassed, which is not a great combo when you're already prone to anxiety/depression!

Is there anyone else like me?

O.K., first or all, I don't want you to ever put yourself down. I don't what your gender is and it does'nt matter. I have a four year old granddaughter, who has a bad enought stutter, but we know that she will grow out of it, so we don't draw any attention to it, because we know if we do, it would only make her self conscious about it(btw, she is a beautiful kid, as I'm sure you are. If you are worried about a stutter when you are talking to someone on the phone, which is the impression I get from you, then all you gotta do is take a deep breadth before you talk). It's ironic, but a guy that I worked with a good while ago had a bad stutter, and it turned out, with a little bit of friendship and patience, turned out to be one of the best singers that I ever heard in my life, also went to the top in his profession.

Hersheys · 14-10-2012 2:26am

Deep breaths all the way. Answer "hello, xxxx speaking how can I help you." and while they tell you, take notes and take deep breaths. Don't be afraid to ask them to repeat themselves for clarification!

Headhog · 14-10-2012 3:00am

Depression has managed to creep back into my life. I hate this. So sick of it

Da Shins Kelly · 14-10-2012 11:05pm

Have had a terrible weekend. Feeling under the weather, but also just really down and stressed out. I just want to go home.

Hersheys · 16-10-2012 2:51am

I wish these middle of the night panic attacks would stop!!

Gremlinertia · 16-10-2012 12:18pm

I'm feeling more and more like a black widow. It's just funeral after funeral around here.. I'm well into double digits for the last three years. It's all constant death. And my therapist wonders why i'm obsessed.. I'm not able for this..

banquo · 17-10-2012 5:52am

Aaaaand we're back to this insomnia crap again.

NegativeCreep · 17-10-2012 9:43pm

Does anyone else's depression come in waves? I've had 2 good days and it all ended today. As soon as I woke up I felt like absolute crap. Don't know how I made it through college.
It usually lasts for like 3 weeks and then I'll have 2 or maybe three good days. After that then it's back to the crap.

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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