You're a culchie if...

irishultra · 05-11-2009 10:23pm

you don't live in dublin but seriously:

have a great fear of anything new
close-minded
ignorant
like manu
wear socks with sandles
big red face while on holidays

Jaga · 05-11-2009 10:23pm

You're a culchie when your house is still worth more than your mortage, unlike all the stupid 'cute hoors' above in Dublin,:D:D:D

walshb · 05-11-2009 10:24pm

when Bros are still number 1 in your neighbourhood

barakus · 05-11-2009 10:24pm

You ask for curry chips in Macdonalds

Mrmoe · 05-11-2009 10:25pm

genericguy wrote: »

you've a chip on your shoulder because dubs only have to cross the road to buy milk.

Nah, we only have to get it out of the bulk tank before the milk lorry comes in the morning, and it's none of that watered down stuff either.

lightening · 05-11-2009 10:25pm

I forgot!

Longstanding feuds with the farmer beside you is the norm.
Throwing rubbish out your car in a ditch is fine.
Burning rubbish is ok.

(now I'm off to fix my xmas lights that are all over my house for the last two weeks... Story!)

RMD · 05-11-2009 10:31pm

Wear what was worn in Dublin 2+ years ago.
Try to immitate the Dublin skanger accent to poor effect.
Soup up your dirt encrusted 206 with a bachelors bean can.
Pronounce skangers words with an "OR" sound instead of "AR" sound Ie:
Dublin) I'll ****in battAR ya
Culchie) I'll ****in battor ya bhoy
Think the high point of the weekend is drinking buckie in O'Sheas field or going to the local club filled with everyone from 15-30 from the local town.

Miss Pee Agent · 05-11-2009 10:32pm

If you ever shifted anyone you are a culshie.

stripysocks85 · 05-11-2009 10:33pm

Notorious wrote: »

If you say 'bhoy' at the end of every sentence.

That's a Cork thing, not a Culchie thing.

Also, clearly some people don't know what a culchie really is! I'm glad I'm not a Dub! A culchie through and through sure!

Things Culchies love:
A nice bit of ham.
2 Buttered biscuits.
3 Diggin Houles.
4 Saying its too cold to snow
5 Pretending to know about The Ra.
6 Tayto Cheese & Onion
7 Pretending they're in The Ra.
8 A stretch in the evenings
9 Lucozade
10 Accordians
11 Pretending to like Holy Week.
12 A dinner dance
13 Gettin clattered in muck.
14 Shania Twain.
15 Heifers
16 Spittin in their hands before doing anything manual
17 Steel toe caps
18 A big bowl of carrots & parsnips.
19 Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA
20 Saying someones 'Opened a Book' on something.
21 The smell of fresh dung.
22 Slice-Your-Own Loaf.
23 Work Clothes
24 A bottle of mineral.
25 Fightin'.
26 Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered
27 'The' Hurling/Fitball.
28 Being overweight.
29 Wimen wha resemble Hefers.
30 Saying "Aaah" after taking their first sup of tae.
31 Drink driving.
32 Red diesel
33 The Fear of Change.
34 A nice bit of Barnbrac
35 Lying.
36 Building walls.
37 Being starved with the cold rather than with a lack of food
38 Pretending to like mass
39 Talking about ****e like Flax and the Corncrake.
40 A good blackthorn walkin stick.
41 Shouting 'Yeeeeeoooo' when something good happens.
42 Mohammed Ali.
43 Machinery.
44 Strange uppy-downy walks.
45 A good f**kin read of Irelands Own.
46 Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.
47 Scandal, as long as its about other people.
48 Turf, because Sentirl heatin's for wimmen.
49 Soda farls
50 Sponge 'n Custirt
51 Newmerica', and anything to do with it.
52 Givin the dog the wildest baytins.
53 Givin the wife the wildest baytins.
54 The Ra.
55 Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle.
56 Wreckin their house whilst steamin
57 Club Orange
58 Rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner
59 The Foot & Mouth.
60 Aetin' a big feed of spuds.
61 TK Red Lemonade
62 Good Short hair for boys and nice long hair for the wimen(it confuses them otherwise)
63 sayin"sufferin cats" and"tis" and "ara" and b'jaysus

Danbo! · 05-11-2009 10:34pm

You dont pluralise the word year. "Er about thray year back."

You refer to town (Dublin City) as 'the town'.

You wear a GAA Jersey on your first day a college in Dublin as a "tapic 'a canversayshin" with all the other mulchy headed people from your county.

irish_bob · 05-11-2009 10:39pm

CreepingDeath wrote: »

You can name all your neighbours within a 1km radius

not only that , you knew their father , big lump of a man , powerfull man to ring a sow

irish_bob · 05-11-2009 10:44pm

lightening wrote: »

I forgot!

Longstanding feuds with the farmer beside you is the norm.
Throwing rubbish out your car in a ditch is fine.
Burning rubbish is ok.

(now I'm off to fix my xmas lights that are all over my house for the last two weeks... Story!)

throwing rubbish our of your car in a ditch is the sole preserve of dubs who now live in the country

AckwelFoley · 05-11-2009 10:49pm

Didymus wrote: »

Except for when you and your entire culchie family get the train up to Dublin on the 8th December for your annual Christmas shopping

lol, to get ripped off there, lol - no only dubs are thick enough for that.

We line the pockets of the queens subjects up north.

(thats northern Ireland for you dubs not north Dublin)

lightening · 05-11-2009 11:11pm

irish_bob wrote: »

throwing rubbish our of your car in a ditch is the sole preserve of dubs who now live in the country

Comon... Stop, will you! The ditches of the countryside have been littered with ruralite crap for decades! The rivers and shorelines have been a dumping ground for locals for decades too, don't try and blame your fly tipping on Dubliners!!!!

Edit.... You're a culchie if... you blame anything wrong with your area on Dubs who now live in the countryside!

White_Feather · 05-11-2009 11:18pm

with the boot of you car open you sit on the inside of it outside my house on the match days in croker eating your ham sandwiches from the tinfoil and your flasks of tea and then have the cheek to knock on my door to ask for boiling water for your flask because your too cheap to buy a cuppa!:rolleyes:

yerayeah · 05-11-2009 11:21pm

barakus wrote: »

If you use the phrase 'yera yeah':D

You got me!!:D

You're a culchie if you love drinkin, shkelpin, rollies, rollin round, ridin fat yokes, blueies, shmokin, sure a shmokes a shmoke.

EDIT: ffs, if one more clever fcuker decides to post that list that everyone has seen before...

MonkeyTennis · 05-11-2009 11:27pm

if ya didnt surrender to the brits like you shower of Dubs

*runs*

candlegrease · 05-11-2009 11:33pm

You greet people by saying "what's the craic?"

You drink milk with your dinner.

You are willing to die on the hurling pitch for the parish.

You wear GAA shorts as leisure wear, e.g. on sunny days

For a big day out in the city you don your club GAA jacket, a pair of cords and puma runners.

If you are a girl you call your group of girl friends "the lads".

If you are a girl you are a swamp donkey.

You have posters of Muhammad Ali on your wall.

You claim to have several relatives in the IRA.

You drink water from the tap in the bathroom.

El Weirdo · 05-11-2009 11:33pm

themilkyone wrote: »

You wave to people (knowing every one of them) with one finger whilst driving down back arse roads at around 100Kmh....

WTF is Kmh?

R0ot · 05-11-2009 11:34pm

If your gunrack has a gunrack on it... :pac:

chopperbyrne · 05-11-2009 11:36pm

emo!! wrote: »

eat in supermacs after a night out

I used to think this, but then I found out there is an even more culchie eatery than Supermacs.

Burgermacs!

jenny2hat · 05-11-2009 11:36pm

If when shouted at by a group of 8-10yr old skanger kids ''You slagged my granny!'', instead of ignoring them, you respond ''I DID NOT SLAG YOUR GRANNY!!!'', and proceed to get beaten up with hurls...

(My culchie friend, btw)

stripysocks85 · 05-11-2009 11:36pm

yerayeah wrote: »

You got me!!:D

You're a culchie if you love drinkin, shkelpin, rollies, rollin round, ridin fat yokes, blueies, shmokin, sure a shmokes a shmoke.

EDIT: ffs, if one more clever fcuker decides to post that list that everyone has seen before...

How did you 'edit' but not really edit??

FFS, just making sure it sinks in

In case you didn't see it the first time. Or second time! Or third time...........

The Pontiac · 05-11-2009 11:36pm

stripysocks85 wrote: »

That's a Cork thing, not a Culchie thing.

Also, clearly some people don't know what a culchie really is! I'm glad I'm not a Dub! A culchie through and through sure!

Things Culchies love:
A nice bit of ham.
2 Buttered biscuits.
3 Diggin Houles.
4 Saying its too cold to snow
5 Pretending to know about The Ra.
6 Tayto Cheese & Onion
7 Pretending they're in The Ra.
8 A stretch in the evenings
9 Lucozade
10 Accordians
11 Pretending to like Holy Week.
12 A dinner dance
13 Gettin clattered in muck.
14 Shania Twain.
15 Heifers
16 Spittin in their hands before doing anything manual
17 Steel toe caps
18 A big bowl of carrots & parsnips.
19 Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA
20 Saying someones 'Opened a Book' on something.
21 The smell of fresh dung.
22 Slice-Your-Own Loaf.
23 Work Clothes
24 A bottle of mineral.
25 Fightin'.
26 Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered
27 'The' Hurling/Fitball.
28 Being overweight.
29 Wimen wha resemble Hefers.
30 Saying "Aaah" after taking their first sup of tae.
31 Drink driving.
32 Red diesel
33 The Fear of Change.
34 A nice bit of Barnbrac
35 Lying.
36 Building walls.
37 Being starved with the cold rather than with a lack of food
38 Pretending to like mass
39 Talking about ****e like Flax and the Corncrake.
40 A good blackthorn walkin stick.
41 Shouting 'Yeeeeeoooo' when something good happens.
42 Mohammed Ali.
43 Machinery.
44 Strange uppy-downy walks.
45 A good f**kin read of Irelands Own.
46 Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.
47 Scandal, as long as its about other people.
48 Turf, because Sentirl heatin's for wimmen.
49 Soda farls
50 Sponge 'n Custirt
51 Newmerica', and anything to do with it.
52 Givin the dog the wildest baytins.
53 Givin the wife the wildest baytins.
54 The Ra.
55 Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle.
56 Wreckin their house whilst steamin
57 Club Orange
58 Rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner
59 The Foot & Mouth.
60 Aetin' a big feed of spuds.
61 TK Red Lemonade
62 Good Short hair for boys and nice long hair for the wimen(it confuses them otherwise)
63 sayin"sufferin cats" and"tis" and "ara" and b'jaysus

You're a true culchie alright. LOL. Serious question here - Is the 'Sunday Clothes' thing still in existence? I'm not a culchie (not hardcore anyway), but I had Sunday clothes growing up. Any City Slickers have them?

Also, it's Golden Wonder spuds, not Golden Wanders ffs.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 05-11-2009 11:37pm

If you love the smell of menure...

Novella · 05-11-2009 11:38pm

Here's how I know my granny is a culchie.

Every Saturday night, about 7pm, she stands outside her house (which is basically in the middle of fcuking of nowhere!). After a few minutes, you'll hear her say, "Ah, grand, there are the Mulrooney's!" or "Would ya look, there's Joe Bergin!" and she'll hop into a car and off she'll go.

I asked my dad a few years ago what was she doing and he said, "Sure, isn't she just gettin' a lift to mass!".

Imagine standin' outside your house in Dublin, waiting for your neighbour to give you a lift somewhere!

Keogg · 05-11-2009 11:39pm

CreepingDeath wrote: »

You can name all your neighbours within a 1km radius

WeeBushy wrote: »

You're related to all your neighbours within a 1km radius.

You have a maximum of 3 neighbours within a 1km radius:D

Overature · 05-11-2009 11:40pm

you were not born or do not live in the county of Dublin

stripysocks85 · 05-11-2009 11:42pm

<Ollie> wrote: »

You're a true culchie alright. LOL. Serious question here - Is the 'Sunday Clothes' thing still in existence? I'm not a culchie (not hardcore anyway), but I had Sunday clothes growing up. Any City Slickers have them?

Also, it's Golden Wonder spuds, not Golden Wanders ffs.

My granny RIP used to always put her Sunday best on going to Mass. It was the only time I ever saw her with lipstick!
Yeah you'd dress up for Mass on Sunday alright... Still do. I just don't go! Therefore I don't generally dress up!

Iron Hide · 05-11-2009 11:43pm

If you pronounce most words with an extra letter h...

Example: Wasp- washp
Stout- shtout
Christ- chrisht......... and so on and so forth..

stripysocks85 · 05-11-2009 11:43pm

Overature wrote: »

you were not born or do not live in the county of Dublin

Untrue. I live in the County of Dublin and consider myself a culchie. Also is not fair to refer to all people outside of Dublin as culchies - I view a culchie as a country person, not by their geographical proximity to the Big Smoke - there's another culchie thing - referring to Dublin as the Big Smoke!!

stripysocks85 · 05-11-2009 11:44pm

Red Storm wrote: »

If you pronounce most words with an extra letter h...

Example: Wasp- washp
Stout- shtout
Christ- chrisht......... and so on and so forth..

And put 'een' at the end of the words - "Aren't you a grand girleen?" "Hasn't she a great head of haireen on her?"

MonkeyTennis · 05-11-2009 11:45pm

Maureeneen?

The Pontiac · 05-11-2009 11:48pm

stripysocks85 wrote: »

My granny RIP used to always put her Sunday best on going to Mass. It was the only time I ever saw her with lipstick!
Yeah you'd dress up for Mass on Sunday alright... Still do. I just don't go! Therefore I don't generally dress up!

They were literally 'Sunday Clothes, like I could only wear them on Sunday..apart from a special occasion, like going shopping in the City or something.

Mal-Adjusted · 05-11-2009 11:50pm

if you're not a smelly Dublin skanger

if you've switched over to kph

if you didn't drop out of school at 9 years old

check. mate.

Blisterman · 05-11-2009 11:52pm

You know what parish you're in.

holyshow · 05-11-2009 11:52pm

eating dinner in the middle of the day and then having tea later on.

tony 2 tone · 05-11-2009 11:57pm

you're a culchie if any mention of Dublin in AH makes you post "Dublin forum that way

>"

jenny2hat · 06-11-2009 12:00am

<Ollie> wrote: »

They were literally 'Sunday Clothes, like I could only wear them on Sunday..apart from a special occasion, like going shopping in the City or something.

If you capitalise city:p

Thephantomsmask · 06-11-2009 12:13am

kevogy wrote: »

05 : Pretending to know about The Ra.
07 : Pretending they're in The Ra.
25 : Fightin'.
29 : Weemin wha resemble Heifers.
31 : Drink driving.
35 : Lying.
46 : Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.
52 : Givin the dog the wildest baytins.
53 : Givin the wife the wildest baytins.
54 : The Ra.
56 : Wrecking the house whilst steaming.

Skanger thread tbh. A real culchie knows the difference between hay and straw

Iron Hide · 06-11-2009 12:16am

if Mullingar is your idea of a buzzing metropolis

CreepingDeath · 06-11-2009 12:26am

If your local shop is a newsagent, butchers, post office, chemist and off-license combined all in a floorspace of 5m squared, with a solicitor/estate agent upstairs.

Keogg · 06-11-2009 12:26am

Thephantomsmask wrote: »

Skanger thread tbh. A real culchie knows the difference between hay and straw

I dont actually know why they're different, but I can tell them apart, its obvious, especially when you've gone Horse-riding for 8+ years:D

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 06-11-2009 12:33am

If you can listen to a sentence like "you know the Caseys whose eldest Miheál would have been in my cousin Grainne's class in national school, well their youngest's boyfriend is after getting a job with Marie's brother in law Joseph's wife Kate's uncle's firm" and know everybody mentioned in it.

If you've ever accused somebody of being a "blow-in"-I was on the receiving end of that one a few times (mainly for anwsering sentences like the one above with a blank stare), and oooh it stung!

You've gone mad to the following sequence of songs at the "dishco": That poxy dance version of Cotton Eye Joe, The Venga Boys (I kid you fecking not, they play that still!), and the national anthem.

Edit: this is more specific to Clare than a general culchie thing, but seeing as half the stuff in the thread is "you're from the 1950s if..." I'll throw it in. Adding "aa" to the end of words if you're angry/irritated/suprised, as in "I will-AA" "I don't know-AA" "Oh my god-AA" it's the one part of my Clare accent I still have and I'm always getting stick for it.

MonkeyTennis · 06-11-2009 12:34am

when theres 3.5 million of you all have a big shtick to hand

amdublin · 06-11-2009 12:34am

You know the names of every single one of your cousins (1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th etc) and chat to them in the local every week

"Ah dersh my coushin Barney now. He'sh over der with my coushin Jimmy Bob. Oh and look, dersh coushin Mary jusht walked in as well"

"Jayshus me coushin Mary ish looking mighty well, might try and shift her later tonight"

blueshark22 · 06-11-2009 1:06am

niamhy84 wrote: »

01 : A nice bit of ham.
02 : Buttered biscuits.
03 : Diggin' Houles.
04 : Saying it's too cold to snow
05 : Pretending to know about The Ra.
06 : Tayto Cheese & Onion
07 : Pretending they're in The Ra.
08 : A stretch in the evenings
09 : Lucozade
10 : Accordians
11 : Pretending to like Holy Week.
12 : A dinner dance
13 : Gettin clattered in muck.
14 : Shania Twain.
15 : Heifers
16 : Spittin in their hands before doing anything manual.
17 : Steel toe caps.
18 : A big bowl of carrots & parsnips.
19 : Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA
20 : Saying someone's 'Opened a Book' on something.
21 : The smell of fresh dung.
22 : Slice-Your-Own Loaf.
23 : Work Clothes.
24 : A bottle of mineral.
25 : Fightin'.
26 : Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered.
27 : 'The' Hurling/Fitball.
28 : Being overweight.
29 : Weemin wha resemble Heifers.
30 : Saying "Aaah" after taking their first sup of tae.
31 : Drink driving.
32 : Red diesel.
33 : The Fear of Change.
34 : A nice bit of barn brack.
35 : Lying.
36 : Building walls.
37 : Being starved with the cold rather than with a lack of food.
38 : Pretending to like mass.
39 : Talking about ****e like Flax and the Corncrake.
40 : A good blackthorn walkin stick.
41 : Shouting 'Yeeeeeoooo' when something good happens.
42 : Muhammad Ali.
43 : Machinery.
44 : Strange uppy-downy walks.
45 : A good f**kin read of Ireland's Own.
46 : Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.
47 : Scandal, as long as it's about other people.
48 : Turf, because Sentirl heatin's for weemin.
49 : Soda farls.
50 : Sponge 'n Custirt.
51 : Newmerica', and anything to do with it.
52 : Givin the dog the wildest baytins.
53 : Givin the wife the wildest baytins.
54 : The Ra.
55 : Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle.
56 : Wrecking the house whilst steaming.
57 : Club Orange.
58 : Rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner.
59 : The Foot & Mouth.
60 : Aetin' a big feed of spuds.
61 : TK Red Lemonade.

Oh gud je*us ...........im a ....CULCHIE!!! DEPRESSING OR WAT!!!:rolleyes::rolleyes:
Feck it rather be a culchie .... than a townie!!!

hopalong85 · 06-11-2009 1:10am

blueshark22 wrote: »

Oh gud je*us ...........im a ....CULCHIE!!! DEPRESSING OR WAT!!!:rolleyes::rolleyes:
Feck it rather be a culchie .... than a townie!!!

You're a culchie when you use the word townie.

mikom · 06-11-2009 1:24am

niamhy84 wrote: »

01 : A nice bit of ham.
02 : Buttered biscuits.
03 : Diggin' Houles.
04 : Saying it's too cold to snow
05 : Pretending to know about The Ra.
06 : Tayto Cheese & Onion
07 : Pretending they're in The Ra.
08 : A stretch in the evenings
09 : Lucozade
10 : Accordians
11 : Pretending to like Holy Week.
12 : A dinner dance
13 : Gettin clattered in muck.
14 : Shania Twain.
15 : Heifers
16 : Spittin in their hands before doing anything manual.
17 : Steel toe caps.
18 : A big bowl of carrots & parsnips.
19 : Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA
20 : Saying someone's 'Opened a Book' on something.
21 : The smell of fresh dung.
22 : Slice-Your-Own Loaf.
23 : Work Clothes.
24 : A bottle of mineral.
25 : Fightin'.
26 : Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered.
27 : 'The' Hurling/Fitball.
28 : Being overweight.
29 : Weemin wha resemble Heifers.
30 : Saying "Aaah" after taking their first sup of tae.
31 : Drink driving.
32 : Red diesel.
33 : The Fear of Change.
34 : A nice bit of barn brack.
35 : Lying.
36 : Building walls.
37 : Being starved with the cold rather than with a lack of food.
38 : Pretending to like mass.
39 : Talking about ****e like Flax and the Corncrake.
40 : A good blackthorn walkin stick.
41 : Shouting 'Yeeeeeoooo' when something good happens.
42 : Muhammad Ali.
43 : Machinery.
44 : Strange uppy-downy walks.
45 : A good f**kin read of Ireland's Own.
46 : Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.
47 : Scandal, as long as it's about other people.
48 : Turf, because Sentirl heatin's for weemin.
49 : Soda farls.
50 : Sponge 'n Custirt.
51 : Newmerica', and anything to do with it.
52 : Givin the dog the wildest baytins.
53 : Givin the wife the wildest baytins.
54 : The Ra.
55 : Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle.
56 : Wrecking the house whilst steaming.
57 : Club Orange.
58 : Rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner.
59 : The Foot & Mouth.
60 : Aetin' a big feed of spuds.
61 : TK Red Lemonade.

You're a culchie if... you still copy and paste from Bebo.

Agricola · 06-11-2009 1:33am

Your a young culchie if your idea of the height of fashion on a night out is a Leinster / Munster Jersey, a pair of bog standard wrangler blue jeans and black shoes you wore to an interview once.

You're a culchie if...

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