You've lost your job.You now live at home..again

jillyb · 08-01-2012 5:59pm

I think its definetly different for everyone and their family dynamic.

I have to stay at home 2 nights a week as i moved away with my other half and commute back home for work- its manageable but cant see it working longterm.

My parents are very loving but they are bit like jekyll and hyde.

One minute treating me like a child as in asking will i be home for dinner etc?even though i say im fine but my mother tries to insist and then after a while turns around and becomes resentful as im stayin there using electricity etc

Even though im barely there as im working. also cant afford to hand up as paying petrol to commute, rent and bills etc in own place and its only part time work!

wish i didnt have to stay there but at the moment its only solution!!

Lord TSC · 08-01-2012 6:26pm

My Mom point blank refuses to take money off me for rent. Hell, we had a big arguement the other night when I wanted to pay €40 for a dinner and she was getting annoyed with me cause I insisted paying.

Still, I am heavily involved with all cooking of all meals in the house, I regularly pay for shopping goods and I buy all my own clothes and stuff. I may not pay rent but I move my weight round the house and try not to be a hinderance when I can...

stovelid · 08-01-2012 6:48pm

Like everything it should be on a case by case basis. If you get on with your folks and you're both happy with the arrangement, why not. Each situation is different and I know a few people who have had to fall back on their parents for help, even at an age where they hoped they would be independent.

While I would hope my kids would be quite independent, my home is always their home. I feel sad reading about parents that automatically turf their kids out at 18, early 20s or whatever.

One thing that does get on tits though is grown men and women -often with jobs - opting to live at home but dissing their folks at length on boards. If you hate them enough to run them down to strangers, then man up and quit living off them.

Eve_Dublin · 08-01-2012 6:50pm

I moved home for 5 months after travelling and getting the funds together to move country. First time in 10 years. My dad was delighted..I think he'd love me to move in again permanantly but my step-mam stated she wouldn't want me home again. Nothing malicious about it just my brother lived at home into his late 30s on and off (more on than off) and I suppose she had enough. He was a handful. If I'm honest, I didn't pay rent or help with the bills (I was broke) but I did buy my own food and clean etc. They insisted I kept the money for moving. I think if push came to shove though,they'd take any of us home. They're both great so there were no problems living there. It's more the location of where they live that'd turn me off as I'm used to living in the city.

starlit · 08-01-2012 7:35pm

For me I had no other choice but to move back home again after college and after a job contracted ended. I can't afford to leave otherwise when I've no job either. I contribute my own bit but at the same time I can only afford so much to keep my going. What I get from SW is enough to keep me going while living at home but leaving home I be scrapping. Different when a college student accommodation isn't as expensive compared to those who work.

If accommodation wasn't so expensive I be living away from home but even at this I cannot afford to live away from home. Haven't a full licence either so limited from that point of view where I can live.

Everyone is different as other posters have said.

kowloon · 08-01-2012 8:52pm

There's a family back home where there's currently four generations living in the same area. All the children have moved out and had families of their own but their homes are within walking distance of their parents.

I don't know if this is unusual, although an ex of mine further into Dublin lives/lived around the corner from the estate her parents and her grandparents (just the Mother's side) lived in.

A friend has told me Italian families are much more closely knit and they wouldn't think twice about living together.

Seeing parents and grandparents living in close proximity to their children I wonder if everyone living together is such a bad thing. I know it's slightly different to everyone living in the same house, privacy being an issue, but I really like the idea of an extended family living close together.

I grew up knowing barely any of my extended family because my folks moved away from their families as soon as they could afford a place.

saa · 08-01-2012 10:38pm

No I would never, spent about two years on and off during college being homeless on and off moved about 20 times, came to Dublin with two bags and within a year had 20, but I am so glad things are sorted now and I've got my own set up.

If someone has to move home and everything is good there just don't get sucked into the shame thing, no its not the ideal situation, it doesn't mean you're a bad person or you've failed and sure there is probably a time limit to it but we're going through some rough times, from what I've seen most parents seem to be grinning and bearing it with a minority secretly loving it (empty nest and all that).

previous user · 09-01-2012 1:10am

moved out before christmas, tis goin well, nice to have ur own space an all.

Krieg · 09-01-2012 1:22am

Moved back home for college, now about to move out again. Parents are actually sad about it, im the youngest and last to go so I guess its kinda the official end to raising kids for them.
They tried to convince me to stay a while longer, which was tempting since another year of work and Id have enough money to buy a cheap gaff, but no, I need the independence.

You've lost your job.You now live at home..again

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