Ban hoodies?

recylingbin wrote: »

The item of clothing, not the people who wear them.

We all, and by all I mean everyone, believe that most of the crime in this country is perpetrated by yobs in hoodies. While this is almost certainly true, at least for violent crime, I came to wonder if it was the individuals who were to blame or did the hoodie, itself, have some part to play. I decided to find out.

It was to this end that, yesterday, I donned a hoodie for the first time in my life and decided to hit the mean streets of Clontarf.

Almost immediattely, I though I overheard two wealthy looking pensioners talking about killing my parents. I had an almost uncontrollable urge to stick them with a screwdriver that somehow had found it's way into my hoodie pocket. Somehow, I managed to overcome my ire and passed by the plotting would be murderers, but not before shouldering one of them to the pavement.

I decided I needed to get some cigarettes to calm down as there was adrenaline pumping around my body. So, I went into the shop. Something weird happened. I had a complete blackout and came to about 20 minutes later. There was blood on my fists. How the hell did that get there? I reached for a cigareete and found a wad of cash which I felt certain wasn't mine. Used 5s, 10s and 20s. About 600 quid in all. Weird.

It was 40 mins later as I emerged from a head shop that I felt that I was losing the run of myself, being sucked down. A feeling of, not so much invincibility but more, nihilism had taken control of me. I trembled as I ripped the hoodie off. With that, I flagged down a taxi and returned home, shaken, but alive.

So, there it is. A case study of the power of the hoodie.

Should they be banned?

I, for one, say yes.

Theorem: Given any collection of n blonde girls. If at least one of the girls has blue eyes, then all n of them have blue eyes.

Proof: The statement is obviously true for n = 1. The step from k to k+1 can be illustrated by going from n = 3 to n = 4. Assume, therefore, that the statement is true for n = 3 and let G1,G2,G3,G4 be four blonde girls, at least one of which, say G1, has blue eyes. Taking G1,G2, and G3 together and using the fact that the statement is true when n = 3, we find that G2 and G3 also have blue eyes. Repeating the process with G1,G2 and G4, we find that G4 has blue eyes. Thus all four have blue eyes. A similar argument allows us to make the step from k to k+1 in general.

Corollary: All blonde girls have blue eyes.

Proof: Since there exists at least one blonde girl with blue eyes, we can apply the foregoing result to the collection consisting of all blonde girls.

- G. Polya

Same argument

recylingbin wrote: »

Ban Hoodies?