Eye Contact

Jake LeMotta · 19-05-2010 8:23pm #1

When your talking to someone, do you look them straight in the eye always or is it more your focus is a little/alot, to the left, or right, with the occasional glance?

Went for a job interview at a restaurant there recently.
The boss, he was giving me serious and relentless deep and meaningfuls - it was a bit off putting.

How do you maintain eye contact when conversing with someone?

19-05-2010 8:25pm

Depends on the person.. I find the only way to lure in kids is with a deep trusting gaze.
For everyone else, I've no idea.. Half eye contact, half not maybe.

we'llallhavetea_old · 19-05-2010 8:26pm

no, i keep looking, not in a psycho way, just in an interested way.

walshb · 19-05-2010 8:28pm

Blank staring is really off putting and rude. Make eye contact, but vary it for chrissake.
Smile, move your eyes, use your hands, but don't just stand there blankly staring.

jigglywoo · 19-05-2010 8:28pm

Look between their eyes, but if you're really close to them look at their iris other wise you'll be cross eyed

biko · 19-05-2010 8:29pm

Does she have big boobs?

Novella · 19-05-2010 8:33pm

If I'm comfortable with someone, I don't notice eye contact. It happens, but it's just a natural thing so I never think about it. If someone makes me nervous or something though, I get really paranoid about eye contact! Look at them, look away if our eyes meet kinda thing!

SugarHigh · 19-05-2010 8:43pm

I hate eye contact.

El Weirdo · 19-05-2010 8:46pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I find the only way to lure in kids is with a deep trusting gaze.

Don't forget the sweets and puppies. They help too.

WindSock · 19-05-2010 8:49pm

I glance at the eyes or face frequently/occasionally, sometimes I find it easier to listen when I am looking at something else though :pac:

Abi · 19-05-2010 8:53pm

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

When your talking to someone, do you look them straight in the eye always or is it more your focus is a little/alot, to the left, or right, with the occasional glance?

Went for a job interview at a restaurant there recently.The boss, he was giving me serious and relentless deep and meaningfuls - it was a bit off putting.

How do you maintain eye contact when conversing with someone?

Thats the most important time to hold eye contact, and with a friendly smile. You can't hope a company will take you on based on your CV alone, especially if you're going for a front line position where you are dealing with their customers. Your tone of voice is important too, speak up and clearly.

Yes, I hold eye contact with people. A lot can be said with just a look alone.

ricman · 19-05-2010 9:13pm

Your going for an interview ,some1s talking to you you are supposed to look em in the eye.IT denotes sincerity and honesty, ie i have nothing to hide.AN interview is also a test of your people skills, otherwise they could just take the person with the most points in the leaving cert.To survive in the big city ,you are not supposed to make eye contact with strangers unless you want to be hassled by the local weirdo/gouger, hence the dub expression You looking at me?
ITS not like a small village where we all know each other.
And some women take it as creepy if you look em in the eye ,if you are not a friend/ co worker.
ITS probably 1 of those unwritten rules like dont go up to a nun and ask where, s the best place to buy condoms,or dont ask a garda to share your joint .
If i,m talking to a friend , i look around and don,t need to maintain eye contact all the time.

Abrasax · 19-05-2010 9:36pm

When they're talking I tend to hold a steady gaze on their face, (always looking for clues).
When I'm talking, I'll look in their eyes but look away every so often or flick my focus in a triangle, from their left eye to their right eye to their forehead.

mink_man · 19-05-2010 9:38pm

i dont wear eye contacts....

3hn2givr7mx1sc · 19-05-2010 9:38pm

Had an interview on Monday there for a thing in school and the lad interviewing looked brain-dead. He just stared at me blankly, no facial expressions whatsoever.

He was a knóbhead as well.

fonecrusher1 · 19-05-2010 9:39pm

I always maintain an unblinking stare when im talking to someone.

Even after they've left.

force majeure · 19-05-2010 9:41pm

thy who stare last stares longest. mo-out

Cheap Thrills! · 19-05-2010 9:56pm

JLM........come on back and tell us all about it..:D

Don't spare any detail Jake.....don't hang back now!!

Bolag_the_2nd · 19-05-2010 10:20pm

Eye contact denotes honesty, if you cant look someone in the eye, what are you hiding?

fonecrusher1 · 19-05-2010 10:23pm

Bolag_the_2nd wrote: »

Eye contact denotes honesty, if you cant look someone in the eye, what are you hiding?

The chloroform saturated rag concealed in my hand?

Sangre · 19-05-2010 10:28pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Depends on the person.. I find the only way to lure in kids is with a deep trusting gaze.
For everyone else, I've no idea.. Half eye contact, half not maybe.

Couldn't agree more.

Trusting leads to thrusting.

--Kaiser-- · 20-05-2010 9:20am

Bolag_the_2nd wrote: »

Eye contact denotes honesty, if you cant look someone in the eye, what are you hiding?

Not necessarily, some people are just shy

Busi_Girl08 · 20-05-2010 9:37am

Bolag_the_2nd wrote: »

Eye contact denotes honesty, if you cant look someone in the eye, what are you hiding?

It actually has been said that if you fix your stare on the person when you are talking, then it's more likely that you're lying.
Because it's not a natural flow of conversation, then you kind of clam up a little, and it becomes a little too structured.

johnny_knoxvile · 20-05-2010 9:39am

cover your eyes with you hands and then open them saying "peek-a-boo" always helps break the eye contact tension thing during an interview.

mconigol · 21-05-2010 1:45am

baz2009 wrote: »

Had an interview on Monday there for a thing in school and the lad interviewing looked brain-dead. He just stared at me blankly, no facial expressions whatsoever.

He was a knóbhead as well.

didn't get the job then?!

Standard Toaster · 21-05-2010 2:10am

Ya gotta maintain eye contact when you've just been eye-fúcked by a passing stranger.

Gyalist · 21-05-2010 2:38am

Bolag_the_2nd wrote: »

Eye contact denotes honesty, if you cant look someone in the eye, what are you hiding?

Not true. In some cultures direct eye contact when someone older than you is addressing you is considered as extremely rude and a challenge to their authority.

Riddle101 · 21-05-2010 3:19am

Oh I hate eye contact. I can't look someone in the eye without wanting to rip my eyes out. Although I do keep eye contact when talking to someone, but i'll do the occasional glance to the side or over the shoulder type thing.

Jesus Wept · 21-05-2010 3:24am

WindSock wrote: »

I glance at the eyes or face frequently/occasionally, sometimes I find it easier to listen when I am looking at something else though :pac:

their b00bs?

Nulty · 21-05-2010 3:29am

I have a friend who stares at you with menacing eyes, not when hes relaxed....

It's like he's taking the eye contact thing to an unnecessary level. He tries to hard with the eye cntact thing...makes me uncomfortable

OutlawPete · 21-05-2010 3:32am

Surprised nobody has mentioned Aspeger syndrome.

It's on the autism spectrum and one of the main symptoms is reluctant or difficulty with eye contact.

One of the most famous people with the condition is Gary Numan.

tony1kenobi · 21-05-2010 3:36am

This is clearly the best way to approach a job interview.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O6bWb7oEuE

Nulty · 21-05-2010 3:48am

OutlawPete wrote: »

Surprised nobody has mentioned Aspeger syndrome.

It's on the autism spectrum and one of the main symptoms is reluctant or difficulty with eye contact.

One of the most famous people with the condition is Gary Numan.

I only know the Old one.....

/coat

bigeasyeah · 21-05-2010 4:03am

Eye contact-sounds sore.

The_B_Man · 21-05-2010 4:14am

Ye i'd say its very sore! You know how sore it is when a finger gets in ur eye, imagine how sore it'd be when someone goes over and sticks their eyeball in ur eye!! :eek:

Tar.Aldarion · 21-05-2010 4:15am

No idea how much I do it. If I actually consciously look in your eyes, hello there

Cypher_sounds · 21-05-2010 4:35am

I always look down on people even though I'm 5'11 :rolleyes:

AskMyChocolate · 21-05-2010 4:42am

As a member of the seriously mentally ill community I feel I have an insight to offer on this. On a shorthaul flight (i.e. Dublin suburb to St. Stephen's Green) one is better off keeping one's head down,(it's only fifteen minutes) however on a longhaul flight (i.e. dublin-cork/galway/limerick) it is better to show (nay brandish) your nutter's travel pass to the conductor and then start whistling whilst trying to engage everyone around you in conversation.

Even the mentally ill have defence mechanisms lads.;)

Standard Toaster · 21-05-2010 9:19am

/scratches head

Kasabian · 21-05-2010 9:26am

I have been told I have friendly eyes so I try to use these to put people at ease before I execute them.

Some people use eye contact way to much that it becomes uncomfortable. It is ok to look away sometimes.

LadyW · 21-05-2010 11:29am

Definitely. People should make eye contact when talking to someone. One of my pet hates are people who look at your mouth when you are talking. (this does not apply if they are flirting with you of course

)

johnny_knoxvile · 21-05-2010 12:08pm

LadyW wrote: »

Definitely. People should make eye contact when talking to someone. One of my pet hates are people who look at your mouth when you are talking. (this does not apply if they are flirting with you of course )

you must love trips to the dentist.

LadyW · 21-05-2010 12:42pm

Moi? Go to a dentist? With these pearly whites??

runswithascript · 21-05-2010 1:22pm

When passing strangers on the street I'll only glance at people, if it's a hot girl I'll glance slightly longer depending on how she responds.

I try not to make eye contact with beggars especially the sort who have the gall to ask complete strangers at luas and bus stops for a euro "bus fare".

While passing charity workers I'll look away although I usually end up smiling as I do so which only makes them approach me!

If I'm talking to a hot girl I'll keep direct eye contact to reel her in

While talking to everyone else I pretty much keep eye contact although I think I glance left or right every so often to think about what they're saying.

Also, isn't there a thing when speaking you glance either left if you're recalling a memory from your brain, and right if you're accessing the creative part which usually may indicate lying depending on context - or vice versa?

What I don't think I should do is think about this thread too much because then it will influence what I do and I'll probably just do weird eye contact!

neil_hosey · 21-05-2010 3:09pm

tip for interview: if you dont like making eye contact with some in an interview.. look at their eye brows. its less uncomfortable.

Snowie · 21-05-2010 3:20pm

genrally when ive got an interveiw
and Im more then qualified to the job I know they want me... Ive got some skills we all do... Il lean back a little keep my shoulder high, and maintain eye contact i don't
let it faze me.

krudler · 21-05-2010 3:28pm

I have a hard time making eye contact with certain people, used to get teased about the shape of my eyes when I was younger (which is ironic considering everyone now says they're my best feature, women tell me all the time

) but it depends on the person, wierdly with strangers I have no issue with, with people I know well i tend to look away a lotwhen I'm talking, its something I'm well aware of though so it annoys me when people say someone who doesnt make eye contact cant be trusted and all that sh1te

dubtom · 21-05-2010 3:30pm

neil_hosey wrote: »

tip for interview: if you dont like making eye contact with some in an interview.. look at their eye brows. its less uncomfortable.

Ohh,I knew a guy who did that,actually not the eye brows but the forehead. I found it quite deceitful. You got the impression he was making eye contact with you when he wasn't. Don't know the reason,he threw a wobbly when I asked him.:pac:

Gmol · 21-05-2010 3:57pm

neil_hosey wrote: »

tip for interview: if you dont like making eye contact with some in an interview.. look at their eye brows. its less uncomfortable.

Stare at thier crotch it makes them more relaxed. Since I have adopted this strategy I have a 0% sucess rate in interviews.

funkyjebus · 21-05-2010 4:14pm

i give as good as i get. you stare at me, i stare till i burn a f'n hole buddy!

plasmaguy · 21-05-2010 4:18pm

My tips for doing well at interview...

1. small talk, plenty of it

2. crack a joke or two

3. try to be their best friend, empathise with them, etc etc

4. smile, flirt even

if it's a woman, don't stare at her knockers. I was in an interview once with a woman who had a fine set and I had a hell of a time maintaining eye contact.

Eye Contact

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